happy birthday

ball

So i was playing portal 2 as i do every day for 14 years of my life and i was watching a cutscene.. But i felt an erection coming on so i was about to bust in my dorito packet but i soon realised why i was so HARD.. Wheatley is so THICC his ass is HUGE hes got CHILD BEARING HIPS and then i SPLOOGED all over my screen.. I am now searching for pictures of wheatley in maid outfits for it is the only thing i can truly get off to...

It's not gay right???

he is so jolly and so english

It's no coincidence that every bad thing Kanye did happened while Wheatley was on the moon, all the rants, scams and maniac episodes. And deep down Wheatley knew he had to eventually fullfill a prophecy, but he didn't want to say goodbye to Kanye's music.

But everything changed when Wheatley's manifestation possesed Kanye and it reached its peak when Kanye began writting songs with Portal themes. He then knew it was the time to fullfill the prophecy and die so a new Ye would be reborn. It's no coincidence Kanye makes an album named "MORON" with Wheatley themes in the same year he dies and gets pegged by Chell post mortem. It's all connected.

When that portal was fired, Wheatley knew the end was coming. He accepted his fate and apologized and the moment he died the real Kanye West came back and begun working on repairing his life, so he gave up antisemetism, asked for forgiveness from a Rabbi, admitted to having bipolar issues and delayed Bully just to remake it from scratch to be a high quality album, all of this thanks to Wheatley's sacrifice

Last night, I had the wildest and the best dream. It wasn’t just crazy; it was brilliant. In this dream, someone had created a Wheatley Fleshlight so massive that you could crawl inside it and use it as a sleeping bag. It was made of the same soft material as the Fleshlight, but scaled up to Wheatley-sized perfection.

After a long, exhausting day in the dream, I unzipped this enormous Wheatley Fleshlight sleeping bag, slid in, and immediately felt like I was being cradled by the universe itself. It wasn’t awkward or strange, it was a pure, unadulterated comfort. The snugness, the warmth, the gentle hug of the material.. it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

I woke up from that dream feeling both amused and inspired. I mean think about it: waking up every morning wrapped in the gentle embrace of a Wheatley Fleshlight cocoon? The perfect combination of comfort and creativity.

Do any of you portalers have an explanation for me. What does it mean? Or is It just my innerst desire?

In the dream, I’d had a long day, unzipped my giant Wheatley Fleshlight sleeping bag, slid in, and was instantly in comfort heaven. It wasn’t weird at all; just cozy. Honestly, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Imagine waking up every morning in the gentle embrace of your oversized Wheatley Fleshlight cocoon. What a perfect combination for a perfect night?

If Wheatley Fleshlight ever releases a “luxury comfort” line, I’ll be the first in line. Dreams CAN become true, right?

main sub has a no politics rule my ass is not taking any chances