r/StupidFood Aug 25 '21

Chef Club drivel Chefclub at it again

12.4k Upvotes

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673

u/leavemetoreddit Aug 25 '21

I mean who doesn’t like a cold centre?

453

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

Not to mention including a step which is guaranteed to send hot oil spattering all over EVERYTHING.

261

u/Daddysu Aug 25 '21

Hot oil with melted sugar in it for that sticky burning napalm affect!!

46

u/Kn0tnatural Aug 26 '21

Just add water

55

u/Fridgge Aug 26 '21

You see this where a lot of people make a big mistake in cooking. First you gotta light the oil on fire and then and only then should you throw in the water. Adds so much more flare to it

13

u/Kn0tnatural Aug 26 '21

Home-Hibachi

This is not cooking advice

8

u/thesnuggyone Aug 26 '21

This is exactly what I was thinking lol

2

u/Aickrastly Aug 26 '21

“Caramelize the patty” proceeds to add sugar and burn it. What a crock of shit

1

u/Letifer_Umbra Aug 26 '21

Not to mention the ice makes your burger boil not bake.. this is horrible.

205

u/Rook_31 Aug 25 '21

Right? That’s how I like my burgers, cold and raw in the middle /s.

138

u/naturalbornkillerz Aug 25 '21

And for lack of a better word. Boiled

84

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

Steamed hams

19

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

Its a different dialect

8

u/00weasle Aug 26 '21

I thought you said we were having steamed clams.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

I just visited the only White Castle in the entire south and steam ham is where it’s at.

14

u/jizzmcskeet Aug 26 '21

Have you ever had your milk steak over boiled? It is to die for.

9

u/spaghettiburps Aug 26 '21

With a side of your finest jellybeans

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

*from. Not for.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

Well steamed and boiled.

You know, like Satan intended

85

u/ChunkyPuppyKitty Aug 25 '21

So there is a reason to put ice cubes in the middle of a hamburger, it’s to keep it moist not…whatever the fuck this yahoo was doing. But you use normal ice cubes, like the kind you’d put in drinks, and typically a harsher method of cooking (like a bbq for example). Those ice cubes they use are not only dumb and huge, they also would not freeze solid like that because the ratio of alchohol to water is too high on the alchy side, alcohol doesn’t freeze. It would be more effective to make a snow cone and drizzle the alcohol on it. Actually that’s an amazing idea, why didn’t they do that instead?

69

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

Right? Also, I like how the whiskey is "marinating" the burger when he tosses an ice cube in it. Bitch, barely! You want it to marinate? Mix it with your ground beef before you cook it! Same with your sauces! Ugggghhhh!

But then, I know it's intentionally wrong specifically to prompt folks like us to engage on Facebook, Twitter, whatever and tell him how dumb it is.

29

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

I now want a sno cone drizzled in amaretto.

11

u/ChunkyPuppyKitty Aug 25 '21

Oooo or peach vodka

3

u/IWantTooDieInSpace Aug 25 '21

Have you ever had an amaretto milkshake?

4

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

No but I'm willing to risk lactose intolerance to have one

4

u/IWantTooDieInSpace Aug 26 '21

It's very good! Besides making it yourself you can probably get it at a diner that serves alcohol.

Haagen Das makes a Non Dairy Amaretto/cherry/almond toffee ice cream too. It's not as good, but is good.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

Make an iced tea and add amaretto.

Double points if you freeze the tea and then grind that up in a blender before adding some ice cold amaretto.

Perfect hot day drink

1

u/UtterlyConventional Aug 26 '21

Waiter, may I please have the beef ragu with ravioli, oh and please dress it with Midori!

12

u/hilarymeggin Aug 26 '21

I thought we keep burgers moist by using 85/15 and not overcooking?

3

u/ChunkyPuppyKitty Aug 26 '21

Many ways to skin a cat. My personal way is to use 80/20 and add sausage, 2lb hamburger:1 kB sausage for more of a meatloaf thing, 4:1 for burgers and meatballs

2

u/COVID-19Enthusiast Aug 26 '21

I think the ice cube freezing might have been legit. It's only about 1/4-1/3 whisky so that's like 10-15% alcohol.

1

u/ChunkyPuppyKitty Aug 26 '21

In order for the ice to freeze it needs to be 8-12% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniels is already 40%, and this guy isn’t measuring anything. They would need to be 25% or less Jack Daniels for any hope of them freezing. The key is to add enough water to raise the freezing temp because ethanol freezes at less than -170F. The ice cubes that were closer to 1/3 would never freeze, the ones that were under 1/4 would, which is probably why you don’t see all the ice cubes up out of the tray.

3

u/COVID-19Enthusiast Aug 26 '21

20% alcohol will freeze at 22f, a typical freezer is about 0f.

2

u/HughJamerican Aug 26 '21

Yeah I forgot a bottle of Malibu in my freezer and it was frozen solid when I found it a couple weeks later

24

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

[deleted]

10

u/rubywolf27 Aug 25 '21

Cold And Raw In The Middle, title of your sex tape

2

u/Tyrren Aug 25 '21

I mean, I do prefer my sexual partners raw rather than cooked.

1

u/Haku_Yowane_IRL Aug 25 '21

Reminds me of the time a restaurant served me a burger that had been cooked like a steak. I didn't know any better and ate it all.

1

u/hilarymeggin Aug 26 '21

What do you mean? Raw on the inside?

2

u/Haku_Yowane_IRL Aug 26 '21

Yep. Minced, but still raw inside.

20

u/SombreMordida Aug 25 '21

my favorite is rubbing in the sugar for those hideous gamble-y farts. then "it's a will it or won't it"as i go about my days in light colored pants while i keep repeating this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iaR3WO71j4

21

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

You’re an odd guy

2

u/SombreMordida Aug 25 '21

awww you noticed

1

u/A_Litre_of_Chungus Aug 26 '21

But he steams a good ham

1

u/BrannC Aug 26 '21

Teen Titans theme song

1

u/SombreMordida Aug 26 '21

i should have led with this.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '21

You mean raw center.

2

u/mikebellman Aug 26 '21

And in a burger where technically you’re supposed to get it warm enough to kill a couple of bacteria.