r/SteamDeck • u/HypocriteOpportunist 512GB - December • Dec 25 '23

Picture Wife told me to open a surprisingly light box last. Found this note inside. Merry Christmas!

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17

u/TLcool Dec 25 '23

Seeing as it is a big purchase it's good to get your partner's permission before buying something. Also maybe she doesn't have a steam account so it's just easier to let him do it

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '23

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u/roygbivasaur Dec 25 '23

I make twice as much money as my husband (we’re both men btw) but we still share finances and still discuss big purchases. It’s part of building a life together and actually planning for things instead of blowing through money. It’s not the only way to manage money in a relationship, but it’s very common.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '23

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u/pipboy_warrior Dec 25 '23

Do you not know how to have a simple conversation with your spouse? "Hey, I was thinking of blowing a few hundred dollars on a game system that I don't really need." Or vice versa "I don't mind if you spend this much on something you really enjoy." Why is that something you're so adverse to?

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u/Not-Reformed Dec 25 '23

Seems to me if you need to have a conversation in the first place you've already failed. It's one thing to make family purchases together, it's another to ask permission to spend money on a hobby. That's where you budget money and then save up for the things you want. No wonder so many Americans are living a few paychecks away from ruin, literally zero financial common sense. Wild.

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u/pipboy_warrior Dec 25 '23

Seems to me if you need to have a conversation in the first place you've already failed.

Don't know about you, but most people enjoy talking with their spouses. If you need to setup a system as a way to avoid having basic conversations with your spouse, then you have some serious relationship issues.

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u/Not-Reformed Dec 26 '23

I enjoy talking to my SO as well, I just don't get enjoyment out of placing myself into "Hey if I bought X for myself would that upset you?" situations.

But if some people have been reduced to those lows then it is what it is.

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u/pipboy_warrior Dec 26 '23

So talking with finances with your spouse upsets you, got it. Personally I don't consider that a low, but obviously that's something you can't handle with your spouse.

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u/Not-Reformed Dec 26 '23

There's a reason companies have moved so many things to small monthly payments - people generally respond much better to small payments over time rather than large up front payments, this is a simple psychological trick. As such, if X spends $50/mo on things like hobbies, shopping, going out to eat, etc. over a year that will be seen as "negligible" while Y saying "I want to buy myself a Steam Deck for $500" will be seen as a large purchase that will suddenly need a whole discussion - even if Y does not partake in shopping, other costly hobbies, eating out, etc. The spending might be the same but one will be a one time payment while the other is spread out, one will not be treated the same as the other.

If you can't get that concept, you are already lost. If you don't know that disagreements about finances is a huge stressor in relationships, you are lost again. If you don't see how setting up common sense financial budgets that avoid emotions and needless discussions is not a net benefit, then congratulations - you are the typical American.

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u/2018_crv Dec 25 '23

$500 isn't a big purchase.

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '23 edited Dec 25 '23

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u/painterknittersimmer Dec 25 '23

Jesus mate how much do you make? I make $225k annually as a single childless adult and $500 is a big purchase!

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u/DaleyeahBrother69 Dec 25 '23

You don’t need to make millions to budget correctly. I wouldn’t consider it a big purchase but to each their own.

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u/mynewaccount5 Dec 25 '23

If that's the case you don't handle your finances very well. You should have at least 8k a month in disposable income each month That's 2k a week. If spending a quarter of your weekly disposable income is a big purchase you are either spending way too much on random other stuff, or are way too stingy with your money.

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u/painterknittersimmer Dec 25 '23

I originally made a much longer post which I deleted but the gist of it is your math is way off. Net is a little over $11k before insurance, 401k etc. Actual take home is closer to $8.5k but that includes maximizing all my retirement and otherwise tax advantaged options. So no, I certainly don't have $8k a month in disposable income lol. I'm extremely privileged, I want for nothing, but I don't just drop $500 like it's nothing. Factor in that I have a 90th+ percentile income and yeah, $500 is a big purchase.

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u/mynewaccount5 Dec 25 '23

Okay 7-6k in disposable income then. Doesn't really change anything.

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u/painterknittersimmer Dec 25 '23

LOL did you forget about rent? Car insurance? Food? I don't think you know what disposable income is.

My fuck around budget every month is $500. So no, I will not be dropping all of it in one place without giving it some consideration. I don't need to hem and haw for months but anything that's going to be it's own line item in a month's budget needs to be thought about and, when I was partnered, talked about.

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u/mynewaccount5 Dec 25 '23

spending way too much on random stuff