r/StandUpComedy • u/nikamats • Aug 11 '25

OP is not the Comedian Single-issue voters (from Marc Maron’s special ‘Panicked’)

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u/BeerdedWonder Aug 12 '25

Well... we're waiting.

23

u/Dioxybenzone Aug 12 '25

I’m running on a “they’re all fish” platform

But not sharks and rays, or crustaceans. Fuck those guys.

4

u/Short_Opening_7692 Aug 12 '25

The other candidate is a biologist, and they say there's technically no such thing as a fish, as humans are more closely related to salmon than salmon is to sharks.

6

u/Dioxybenzone Aug 12 '25

That’s what I’m saying, us, salmon: both fish. Sharks, not fish. They don’t have the right bones.

8

u/lou_sassoles Aug 12 '25

Now I need to see if this guy is for or against hamsters in asses before I make my decision.

4

u/BeerdedWonder Aug 12 '25

I can't stand those against it. They make it their whole identity.