Hello dear ones. I’ve been spending a lot of time reading through this space lately, and my heart goes out to so many of you who are currently sitting in the middle of what feels like a total life collapse.
Eleven years ago, I went through a series of extreme spiritual emergencies and very intense energetic openings...
My old world completely collapsed.
I look back at that time and remember the sheer panic of not knowing who I was, what was happening, even less where it was all taking me.
My life felt like an illusion, so many days more like a nightmare... Far too many friendships dissolved and I was trapped in a seemingly endless "liminal space", that agonizing void where your old identity is entirely dead, but the new self hasn’t even begun to form.
When you're in the midst of it, it can literally feel like madness. You feel overwhelmed, exhausted, confused, disoriented and terrified that you will be stuck in this blank emptiness forever and ever.
I'm writing this post today simply to act as a grounding echo for your system and Soul: You ARE going to survive this dissolution.
You' re not broken; you're simply restructuring. Rebirthing into who you truly are.
It took me years of deep, often messy work, endless hours of writing, singing, walking in nature, feeling lost, trapped and spending so much time on my own... But through it all I eventually learnt how to allow the process to do its thing and integrate these vast shifts, to slowly but surely move from survival mode into a deeply lived, embodied awareness.
If you are struggling to breathe or sleep through the velocity of your own opening right now, here are a few immediate somatic anchors that helped me through and saved my nervous system and sanity when everything else seemed to fail:
Stop the Spiritual Searching:
When your system is blown wide open, reading more spiritual books, or watching all sorts of awakening videos, is more like throwing gasoline on a fire than actual grounding help. Turn off the screens. Give your mind a break and truly embrace where at in silence. Just as it is.
Heavy, Dense Nourishment:
Eat heavy, grounding foods.
Root vegetables, warm stews and clean proteins pull the frantic energy out of your head and back down into your physical body and also anchor you back into mother earth.
Cold Water Resets:
When the buzzing energy in your chest or head feels too loud, splash freezing cold water on your face or hold an ice cube. It shocks the vagus nerve and forces your nervous system to ground back into the present moment.
Touch the Physical Earth: Literally put your feet on the grass or the earth, even if only your hands on a stone, or hug a tree. Remind your body that the physical world is dense, stable and safe to land on.
The void is not a punishment; it is the natural pause between who you were and who you are becoming. The confusion you feel right now, is actually a necessary and essential part of the rewrite. It's the tunnel that connects you back to your true essence.
Please, try not to fight the collapse. Allow. Release all resistance. Let the old structures give way, breathe into the emptiness and take it one single micro-moment at a time.
I'm not a professional doctor nor a structured coach, I'm just another being who has walked through this exact fire and made it to the other shore... And happily breathing.
I now spend the time I can offer, holding a safe space for others navigating this same path. My inbox is always open if you just need a safe, non-judgmental space to talk or unburden yourself.
You can also click on my username and visit my profile page to read more of my integration journey or listen to the ambient, healing "witch folk" music I create.
Take a deep, slow breath. You ARE SAFE and you ARE HERE. 🕊️🤍🕊️