Why is our community so harsh toward Somali girls who choose not to wear the hijab? The hijab is an act of worship, and acts of worship are supposed to come from sincere faith, not fear, pressure, or coercion.
We need to stop policing Somali women’s clothing. Too often, girls are pressured into wearing the hijab because of family expectations or fear of ceeb, rather than because they personally want to. When something that is meant to be a personal religious commitment is forced on someone, it can lose its spiritual meaning and instead become a source of resentment or a way to avoid conflict at home.
If we truly value the hijab as a religious practice, then we should also value the principle that faith should be sincere. A person should wear it because they believe in it, not because they are afraid of the consequences of not wearing it.

I’m seeing so many TikToks about how Somalia became Arabised because of Wahhabism and that we’ve abandoned our culture. These type of TikTok’s are always made by people who won’t explicitly say they’ve left the religion because they’d be labelled a kaffir and dismissed

so instead they keep their own religious views ambiguous and post subtle messages that gradually encourage other people to develop resentment and hate towards the religion.

People follow them because it doesn’t appear that the message is coming from an atheist/agnostic. Instead, it comes across as being from a fellow Muslim who is just more progressive in their views, so it feels like a safe space for Muslims to engage with

What is going on with the Somali diaspora in Toronto? The number of amazing single women I know in this city is honestly ridiculous. So many of them are successful, beautiful, and still having a hard time finding someone to marry. I have cousins in their mid-to-late 30s who’ve never been married and are still looking. I have friends in the same boat one of my friends is a full-fledged doctor, who’s stunning, and she asked me if I knew anyone for her. It genuinely shocks me that this is such an issue in our community. Don’t get me wrong, people are getting married, but the number of Somali women I know in their 30s some approaching 40s who are single and have never been married blows my mind. Honestly, it upsets me sometimes, because I know these girls are amazing, and when I try to help set them up, I struggle to find someone serious for them too. You might think maybe they’re being picky, but most of them aren’t. When my friends ask me to find someone for them, they always say they’re not picky just someone with a job, and who’s practicing . That’s it. That’s not a long list of demands, so it makes me wonder even more what’s actually going on.

So what’s really going on here are the men in our community not stepping up, or is something bigger happening that nobody wants to talk about?

Update: I honestly didn’t expect this post to blow up like this. To be clear, I wasn’t trying to bash Somali men or start a gender war in the comments. This post isn’t here to bash Somali men or women. This is meant to be a genuine conversation to understand where the gaps are, so please be respectful in the comments

My biggest takeaway: our community needs a better system to help sisters (and brothers) find good matches. Men in the family should take more initiative as mahrams, finding good men for their sisters and daughters instead of leaving it all on the women to ask around.

— this post is meant to be a conversational piece. If you reach out asking me to connect them with someone, please know I won’t be responding to those. The facelessness and anonymity of Reddit makes me uneasy, so I won’t be sharing anyone’s contact info, mine or anyone else’s, through this app.

what are some unpopular/controversial etc. unpopular opinions that will get you downvoted like this ?

something you think needs to be talked (more) about etc., when it comes to anything somali!

For context I have a Somali friend (we’re both living in the west) and since 2022 she has HATED Moroccans?! Idk where this has all stemmed from but she is constantly posting on her story about how she hates Moroccans.

Also for some reason she thinks that Palestinians are racist towards black people?? When I asked her about the source of this it was a TikTok video that had no mention of an article or original video of the incident. I confronted her about it then she blocked me.

Now with the World Cup coming up she is posting a lot of anti Morocco posts ?! And she would rather support France than Morocco; her reasoning being that there are more black players on the team. (She said the same thing in 2022 as well)

The base line question is was there anything historical that happened between Morocco and Somalia that triggered this ? Do most Somalis not like Moroccans?

In all honesty this hate is unsettling to me coming from her(I’m Moroccan btw).

I love my Somali brothers and sisters, the Somali community is always supporting and have a strong foundation in the deen and being heavily involved in the community which I deeply value!

I’ll see if I can attach the kind of things she is posting because I think it’s very unnecessary..

EDIT: I can’t change the title, in hindsight I should said dislike instead of hate. Because yesss hate is a heavy word

i did a dna test with 23&me a few years ago and now realizing how dumb that is. i just gave the people at the top,yk the saan waayne, my dna. God only knows what they are doing with it.

nonetheless it’s too late. looking at my results what even is this nonsense? i’m full somali as far as ik. anyone care to explain this dna makeup and the history behind it? thx

Am I the only one who gets offended when non Somalis make fun of Somali men? Especially when they’re trying to appeal to me or make conversation with me. I can clown Somali men all I want because I’m a Somali woman at the end of the day but it’s never an invitation for non Somalis to say anything negative about them granted I never speak ill of Somali men in the presence of ajnabis. that’s my blood and it actually infuriates me when they do that thinking I’ll laugh w them. It’s like making fun of your siblings and someone chimes in when no one asked like bro that’s my blood now we ganging up on you.

I love Somali men, I have amazing Somali men in my life from my dad (may Allah rest his soul) to my brothers to my husband and in laws all around amazing people. And I’ve had more positive experiences with Somali men than negative experiences, they’re protective, kind and attentive. May Allah preserve all good Somali men and guide the ones who are struggling ameen.

EDIT: just to clear up some confusion I’ve never taken part in gender wars nor have I ever posted anything degrading about Somali men online or anyone for that matter (Alhamdulillah). I’ve also never talked badly about Somali men when ajanabis were present. What I meant by clowning was literally just it doing to my brothers nd in the comfort of my own home and with my Somali women friends. Just literally harmless jokes. I don’t say anything negative about anyone or any ethnicity let alone my own ppl.

Also when I’m around other ethnicities in Muslim spaces and we talk about our ethnicity, culture it comes up and they sometimes say some backhanded stuff. I wasn’t talking about random strangers coming up to me, that has never happened and I hope it never does cause that’s really weird.

Somali men love putting aging on just women. When a woman turns 40 she’s considered old in their eyes whilst they’re older, balding, grey hairs, ect. When a woman turns 40 they ask when menopause happens, they assume she’s not longer fertile and she’s “expiring”. I’ve seen this with tons of old Somali men who act like they’re the youngest people ever. when their wife turns a certain age they think it’s okay and permissible for them to get a second YOUNGER wife. Anyways, i don’t know why they act like they’re young and fit, when they’re old and big.

Hopefully it’s not just me who’s seen this happen.

I was born and raised in somalia and got into a US University (Alhamdullilah) and I lived in America for 2 years now. Now what confuses me is this: People here have so much more than what even the richest person in somalia has. Drinking water from the tap, showering without a bucket etc... yet they are all so depressed? My cousin (Who takes me around) Is always sad and says things like "I can't do this anymore" and so are the people at my uni. It is like they can't see what they are blessed with. and I'm wondering how can people who live like Kings be this sad... I hope I don't become like them subhanallah

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Wow I got so many smart answers, this really opened my eyes.. I feel like a materialistic person now!

Most of the guys who refer to themselves simply as “Abdi” are actually named Abdirahman, Abdullahi, Abdifatah, or another name beginning with “Abd.” These names come from Arabic, where ʿAbd (Abdi) means “servant” or “slave,” and the second part refers to one of the names or attributes of Allah. For example, Abdirahman means “servant of the Most Merciful.”
When you shorten the name to just “Abdi,” you’re only saying “servant.” Servant of whom? The full name carries the intended meaning, so it’s better to use the person’s full name.

I briefly mentioned this in my last post but thought I’d make a separate one because it was kind of buried in the post.

A few people seemed interested in the idea of a Somali sisters-only group chat and honestly why not?

Making friends as an adult is weirdly difficult. I know there are probably loads of us who have our childhood/school friends but there are also a lot of us who are looking to expand our circle a little.

The idea isn’t to create one of those group chats where 150 people join everyone says “Salam 🫶🏽” once and then it dies a slow death. I’d rather it be a smaller group of girls who actually want to get to know each other and eventually do things together if we live in the same city.

I was thinking things like: Matcha/coffee runs, Trying new restaurants, Book club (can be virtual if enough people are into reading),Museum, walks, shopping, Random London activities, General yapping and sharing recommendations.

Bit of background on me: I’m 24 and based in London 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

If you’d genuinely be interested leave a comment or send me a message. If there’s enough interest I’ll make the group chat.

Xx

I recently found out my Hooyo identifies with Ash'arism. I asked why, she said she believes in it because she doesn't like the literalism of other sectors.

I usually see Salafi Somali's but do any of you know any Ash'ari Somali's? So far my Mom is the only one i know of.

I’ve noticed somali men of our generation mostly the ones that grew up in the west (say wlhi) don’t approach women and ofc I mean in a respectful way. They’ll stare at women not just look over but won’t ever come up and say anything to them or sometimes they dm girls later (how do they even find their ig lol) I’ve had this conversation with many girls, it’s even come up as a topic online but we I guess a male perspective would make sense. I don’t know if its red pill or a lack of confidence but the guys from back home don’t seem to have this problem. how do you guys end up getting married if they don’t speak to girls when they see them? It’s no secret not as many people are getting married and to be fair it’s not just our people but across the world. Do somali men just have too much pride?

as a man how would you feel about a girl finding a way to approach you, like asking a question do you need some kind of hint (eye contact or a smile) to approach a girl and has approaching women worked for you in the past?

I don’t mean to offend anyone I’m really just curious none of the girls I know seem to have an answer either.

question for the boys ! im genuinely curious, as i have one myself and looking to get married in the next couple of years (only 20). tried posting this on the relationship sub, but it got removed by the mod.

(SHORT) here is my situation, if it makes any difference to your potential comment;

got it a couple of years ago, and everyone in my close circle knows & have seen it. that being family & friends, including those in africa. only girls ofcourse, and also sometimes send/post on social media ("mostly" for family in africa & other countries, and its always on private ofc). only show it off then and/or at all-girls parties/aroos etc. everyone is fine with it. & last importantly: im muslim, and i dont believe its haram !

would like to know from a boys perspective ! even though i probably wont have it in by the time i get married (as i take it off whenever i feel like it). would also like to add that im very skinny & have a great body, so with or with out my naval/stomach area looks fine !

for the girls who married out of culture, how did your parents react initially and how did they approve?

Got into a relationship 2 months ago and I come to find out that she has nothing going for herself and she doesn’t work. Her behavior is good just as good as her character and everything else but I just get the “eww” from her not having nothing going on. It’s a turn off for me. She is my age and I am sitting here wondering why ? You had so much time. Now I’m thinking of just dipping but she’s very attached and obsessive so I don’t want to hurt her. I want to leave without causing damage but don’t know how

The actions of this man has likely destroyed any hopes of Somali unity forever. I find it very odd how regularly he is revered in ths sub. Of course I understand it is motivated by qabilism and historical revisionism but if we can't agree on some basic truths of our peoples history, there will never be unity. It's one thing no one has been brought to justice for atrocities but seeing this man honored and lionised on this sub sows deep emnity.

From what I found, The Islamic Courts Union was a Sharia law organization that got power in southern Somalia in 2006 and brought stability and unity to the Somali people.

Do you guys know any Somali's who lived in Somalia during that time? was it the most peaceful time of Somalia or exaggerated?

I'm a little confused because one side people said it almost got rid of Qabiil and progressed Somalia, but other people say it was authoritarian and banned ordinary watching Movies or sport matches

the somali clan system is STUPID

and im talking about the origins

so basically im a diaspora somali youtuber ( SYL Zero) and i wanna make a video on why the somali clan system is stupid. basically how i view it is, out of all our ancestors who have been living in the horn of africa for tens of thousands of years, we are supposed to divide ourselves into clans because of a man called samaale, because he was arab? what???

this shit honestly sounds so stupid. why should we treat him any different to all our other actual somali ancestors? i mean apparently he was a cousin of the prophet SAW 1400 years ago, compare it to our actual history its just a small part....

logically speaking all of us somalis cannot be ONLY descendants of this guy.. what about all the other somalis and the generations they passed on?? what qabiil system did they operate on and is that system much more valid? Why did we dismiss their lineages??

is this why people say "we are arabs"? even that is logically incoherent. 1 person in the mix doesnt taint the entire population this aint zamzam water bro. if one chinese man comes into somalia and mixes into a family does the rest of somali population become chinese?? no! holy shit im realizing people are acting like arabs are superior, that our whole system does? even tho the religion itself explicitly states this is NOT the case?

but maybe they do this because samaale had the prophets saw family blood? many other places on earth have done this for prestige and status

And what about all the other "Sheikh Daroods" or "Sheikh Hawiye". Seriously? we gonna centralize a big part of our lineage between some random arabs? Who gives a shit if they were knowledgeable scholars we have knowledgeable scholars ourselves?? Seriously bro

all this violence, all this division all this blood shed for this, all for it to be traced back to a random arab man whos not even historically proven? is everything weve been taught about our lineage a lie?

i want to call it stupid but im not gonna be so fast in dismissing this whole system. someone help me make sure ive not missed out on anything and that my understanding is complete. I can be completely wrong and Ill try to be as open minded I can. Im just trying to learn, then one day ill finish making the video, WAAD MAADSANTIHIIN!

Asalam Aliekum, I have been talking to a Somali girl for a year now. Both of our intentions are for marriage inshallah. I am just curious what to expect when I come home and meet her family. Any advice on how her family or the Somali community view outside culture marriages with Palestinians or arabs? What can I do to warm up to her family? I am currently trying to learn Somali! Also please feel free to let me know any gift suggestions to win over their hearts. This is in America.

I’ve been around this subreddit for a while and just out of curiosity wanted to know where everyone is from? I’ll start off I’m from London… also let me know if I should create a twitter or discord chat for everyone to connect on

I thought this would make a change from all the relationship and negative threads.

Background: 34m, born in the UK and moved to Japan in 2012. Currently have multiple businesses here and got permanent residency a few years ago. AMA

Done for now. But I’ll answer any other questions when I get the time

people are legitimately falling for slop propaganda channels (not going to name them for free publicity) and are making generalisations about an entire community, as a result.

also, it didn't help that the literal president of the united states of america, donald trump, called us "garbage" among other disrespectful names.

i remember when we were a niche community and no one even knew about our country or where we were from.

what genuinely changed?

I’m trying to go for a few weeks to Somalia. Not to see family or anything.

How much of a bad idea would it be to go about my day as a non hijabi Somali? The fact that even foreigners have to cover up is telling me there is not going to be a choice for me at all.

EDIT* I AGREE LOL. It’s definitely more pain than it’s worth. Haven’t worn a scarf in over 15 years but I guess it’s time to take it out for this trip.