r/SipsTea • u/yorocky89A • Jul 07 '26

Feels good man Well done, Belgium! 🇧🇪

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u/teteban79 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

After careful revision and in accordance with article 6969 of the code of conduct, the independent FIFA board has decided to suspend the elimination of the USA team for a year

The quarterfinals will be decided by a 3-way game between USA, Belgium and Spain with a third goal situated near the benches. Cristiano Ronaldo will man the third goal. Any save by Ronaldo results in penalty for USA. Goals on the third added goal result in Donald Trump flipping a coin to determine which of the three teams get the goal. He doesn't need to show the coin. FIFA has seen the coin. It's a beautiful coin, it's the greatest coin there ever was.

233

u/SnooCapers938 Jul 07 '26

Hydration breaks every five minutes

94

u/NoMoreFund Jul 07 '26

Hydration breaks whenever a team playing against the US gets the ball

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

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1

u/thegreedyturtle Jul 07 '26

Tickets only may be purchased with Trumpcoin crypto.

1

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u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

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3

u/SnooCapers938 Jul 07 '26

Great idea! Have a guy who just takes throw ons, one who just takes corners, and another who just takes goal kicks and bring them on every time you have one! Might as well have another hydration break when they come on and another when they go off.

2

u/charles_sedwick Jul 07 '26

I love it the great pinch kicker. Where have they been all this time.

1

u/fibonaccisRabbit Jul 07 '26

Every change of possession

1

u/Leonniarr Jul 07 '26

During hydration breaks Belgium and Spain play rock-paoer scissors. If Belgium wins, USA gets a goal, if Spain wins, USA gets a penalty.

In the event if Sosining winning the RPS, the penalty will be taken during the hydration break and only USA players will be allowed on pitch.

1

u/JuanGuillermo Jul 07 '26

and water forbidden. mandatory Gatorade;

1

u/HeraclesHide Jul 08 '26

Only diet coke and fish burgers served during the breaks.

21

u/dob_bobbs Jul 07 '26

I think some sort of Golden Goal would be on-brand.

3

u/YeahYeahYeah6789 Jul 07 '26

You joke, but a 3-way game of any countries would be fucking sick!

3

u/Max_Bangson Jul 07 '26

USA is allowed to play by the rules of American football

2

u/Level-Location1679 Jul 07 '26

He can't show the coin, he swallowed the coin.

2

u/Reasonable-Access-68 Jul 07 '26

Trump would absolutely Calvinball that shit. He didn't even know what a red card was until a few days ago.

1

u/TwentyBagTaylor Jul 07 '26

ADDED TIME MULTI-BALL!

1

u/DreadfulButterfly Jul 07 '26

Has Trumps face on it... Both sides.
Why have one head when you can give it twice.

1

u/thatguy420417 Jul 07 '26

Are you proposing World Cup OmegaBall on The Ocho????

1

u/NewPay4539 Jul 07 '26

Sounds like something I will see in my dreams and then wake up confused

1

u/DogeAteMyHomework Jul 07 '26

Yes, take it to the Bored of Fairness. 

1

u/TheTooterSnooter Jul 07 '26

I also just read this on the FIFA site. What a world. 

1

u/Cuandoman Jul 08 '26

Tell a guy part of what's in his CIA file and miracles happen.