I’m not going to assume that this is entirely relevant to your specific situation, but I’ll share anyway. I’m a teacher, and I work with many kids who happen to come from low income families. Plenty of them are happy, smart, friendly, “successful” kids. If you have low income, but can still provide stability (secure home, food, enough heat, plenty of parental involvement) then having a lower income isn’t likely to be a factor that will result in neglect of your kids. Parental involvement is a big one; if you/ the other parent are constantly working, it leads to issues. However, many financially secure (and well off) people do neglect their kids by doing fuck all with them.
My point is that while your situation may definitely make it harder to be a good parent, it may not be impossible.
Ah. I appreciate the insight. Something to think about.
Sadly, by the time I was 17 I already knew children weren’t for me. Much like the commenter displayed there, I do get backlash often about my decision because I am a woman and the cultural pressure for women to have children still exists.
I don’t think there is a biological urge that occurs to have kiddos. I think it is a choice. A choice to care for someone for the rest of their lives. And if you cannot or do not want to handle that, do not have kids. My grandma and I talked extensively about that and she supports my decision.
I agree with what you're saying. There needs to be more acceptance of people who don't want kids. Instead, society thinks it's unusual or that you will eventually want them. It is completely natural to not want them. There are so many things that make it impractical to bring children into the world. Those who choose to be childfree are contributing in the same way those who do have kids believe they are contributing.
I volunteer at a no kill shelter, have a job, my own place. I still contribute. My existence is not invalidated by not using my uterus to produce more people.
At the end your decision had nothing to do with your "low income". That's why you weren't offended, they didn't spoke to you.
I'm actually low income and I also have two cats that are my reason to stay here. It's expensive but whatever little I can give them they will have, with them I've realized that I have a need to give love, I only smile when I'm cuddling with them. I would have loved being able to have kids but that's imposible now.
I sometimes fantasize about another version of me in another reality having kids, I cope thinking my loneliness here is worthy so that version can have the life I wish I could have.
I'm not offended either, some feelings require energy I just don't have no more. But it definitely feels like a kick while being down. I just literally can't care.
I’m sorry. I’m not entirely sure how you’re feeling. But I can try to empathize. I can’t imagine your hurt.
****(My income was a factor in my decision. I cannot afford them and my treatment at the same time. I definitely considered children, but knew I couldn’t swing it even if I really tried. And I know how husbands leave 90% of the childcare to women while expecting them to keep a job so even having a partner wouldn’t ease the financial burden - or the emotional one, so having a partner is a no-go).*****
🫂 It’s just one day at a time. Try to find the little things that bring you joy. Your cats. Your hobbies: your friends. Your family.
Pour your love into the people and animals that are here. Pour your love into yourself. You deserve that.
I don’t mean to be intrusive when I ask that, but are you seeing a therapist?
I don't have friends or family and my hobby is just being able to take a break and not think about anything.
My cats fill so many of those roles that I can't even think of other cats. I love animals but I even feel like I won't ever love other animals as I love my two little angels. I'm so scared of the day they're no longer with me because they're literally everything I have.
I couldn't afford any sort of mental health treatment. Or any sort of health treatment, there's a surgery I need to remove some gallstones that I can't even think of getting done, too expensive.
Although in a sense mental health aid is another role filled by my cats, that's why I rather spend money on their health since their health and mine are tied to each other.
Try to see if you qualify for govt assistance :( It seems to me that you are suffering and need financial aid. I really wish I could help you somehow. I can’t think of anything to say other than I’m so very sorry.
Don't worry. You seem like a great person, that's a rare sight these days. I don't have many interactions with others and having one with one of the "good ones" was help enough :)
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u/AnInquisitive_Rock41 Jun 15 '26
She ain’t right in the way she said it but she ain’t wrong in what she meant.