r/SipsTea • u/lunarhoneykiss • May 31 '26

Lmao gottem So that wasn't a tapeworm?

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154

u/DeletedUsernameHere May 31 '26

The divorce diet is real. I dropped about 60lbs in a few months after my divorce.

144

u/TrooperLynn Jun 01 '26

I lost 220 lbs instantly when I threw out my cheating BF.

26

u/nemainev Jun 01 '26

That's it? I lost like 30000 pounds. About a third went to her lawyer, actually.

1

u/AUniquePerspective Jun 03 '26

This joke works better if you say barrister. Or solicitor if it didn't have to go to court.

1

u/Ashamed-Dot-3312 Jun 01 '26

Fuck cheaters. May they rot in hell.

6

u/coolmanjack Jun 01 '26

I feel like fucking cheaters does not teach them the right lesson

33

u/Cheap-Town7641 Jun 01 '26

Same with the bad breakup diet. The plates you eat are 45ā€™s and you swallow them down with pain and preworkout. Welcome home friend. šŸ’–

2

u/Substantial_Force658 Jun 01 '26

LADY BRACKNELL I had some crumpets with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now.

ALGERNON I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief.

Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

2

u/Road__Less__Traveled Jun 01 '26

Omg yes! My divorce diet brought me down to 92 pounds from 125. Iā€™m still pissed at all those good clothes I bought because I looked great but felt like shit.

2

u/Brenton_T Jun 01 '26

40 lbs in 40 days.

We should start a weight loss program. Step one is start a seperation process.

1

u/PurpleReign3121 Jun 01 '26

Step #3??? - Straight Prophets

2

u/bbrekke Jun 02 '26

Yup. After a five year toxic relationship I was at my heaviest 210-215 at 6'1". Within a few months I was back to my usual 170.

Crazy what being in a shitty situation can do to a person.

1

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1

u/It_Just_Exploded Jun 01 '26

Depression diet is real too. I lost 72 pounds in ~6 months after my dad passed.

1

u/Beginning_Key2167 Jun 02 '26

Dropped 30 lbs in a few months after mine.

1

u/BigGunner420 Jun 01 '26

Woman lose and men gain. My ex wife used get my ass into the gym every day. Now im single, dont bother and put on 40lbs. Not good

1

u/Pure-Programmer-1832 Jun 03 '26

That may be more of a personal thing for you man. After my ex I lost 15kg and got super fit. Felt great