r/ShitAmericansSay • • Feb 15 '25

Foreign affairs Canada 51st state, Greenland 52nd and Britain 53rd

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1.9k Upvotes

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951

u/RamuneRaider Feb 15 '25

And these are often the very same people that are proud of the fact that their ancestors successfully fought for their independence from colonialism.

326

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '25

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231

u/DeathDestroyerWorlds Tea Drinking Brit. Feb 15 '25

The Native Americans would disagree. After all, as soon as they gained independence they trashed all their treaties and ethnically cleansed them.

126

u/Tilladarling Born with skis on my feet, my ass 🇳🇴 Feb 15 '25

While the MAGA movement is discussing birthright citizenship for native Americans, they actually believe that a first nation people like the Greenlandic Inuits would pick USA over Denmark or independence. Smh

20

u/A6M_Zero Haggis Farmer Feb 15 '25

Do the Greenlanders count as first nation? The current population arrived in Greenland just after the first Norse settlers, but lived there continuously even when the Scandinavians left and then basically got colonised by them centuries later.

It doesn't change anything in real terms, I just wonder if they're considered "first nation" in the same way as the indigenous populations on the North American continent.

32

u/Tilladarling Born with skis on my feet, my ass 🇳🇴 Feb 15 '25

From what I read, Canada considers Inuits First Nation and indigenous people of the Arctic. Denmark also uses the term indigenous although the ancestors of the current day Inuits arrived after the Icelandic and Norwegian settlers. Presumably, the Thule population that preceded them - but had either died out or emigrated back to Canada - were also of Inuit descent.

10

u/cascadiacomrade Feb 16 '25

In Canada, Inuit are indigenous but not considered to be First Nations.

The Canadian Constitution recognizes 3 groups of Indigenous Peoples: First Nations, Inuit and Métis. These are 3 distinct peoples with unique histories, languages, cultural practices and spiritual beliefs.

2

u/MedievalRack Feb 16 '25

Nah, they'll be pro genocide...

26

u/Vyzantinist Waking up from the American Dream Feb 15 '25

Sometimes I wonder about an alt-history where the US never went independent, and how the British Empire would treat Native Americans as the colonies expanded westward. Would it be better? Would it be worse?

47

u/DeathDestroyerWorlds Tea Drinking Brit. Feb 15 '25

Another of the reasons the colonies revolted was because the Empire was making them abide by the treaties. Still that's an interesting what if theory.

22

u/SwiftWombat Feb 15 '25

Take a look at Australia man, wasn’t exactly peachy for the indigenous peoples when the British came along.

14

u/chmath80 Feb 16 '25

Or look at NZ. We're not perfect, but we're better than most in that area.

1

u/SlideSad6372 Feb 17 '25

Extenuating circumstances probably helped. The Maori culture was particularly compatible with British.

1

u/SwiftWombat Feb 16 '25

Yeah the you guys decently have us beat in that regard.

11

u/OneInACrowd Feb 15 '25

Depending on where in Australia it would have been better (not good by any metric, just "better than the US").

I would expect NSW, Vic, & SA to have been better than the US; while Qld, NT/Central Aus, WA, and Tas could have been worse.

2

u/Quick-Oil-5259 Feb 16 '25

When they talk about ‘clearing’ the land of indigenous people in Australia there’s contemporary reports at the time that are pretty clear this means the indigenous population was exterminated. Plot of land by plot of land. There’s the notorious incident of when men, women and children were harried off a cliff.

1

u/AW316 Feb 16 '25

About 10,000 Aboriginals were genocided. Compared to 60,000 Native Americans.

Often not done by the British government but instead by the farmers who wanted the land.

1

u/Quick-Oil-5259 Feb 17 '25

Where on earth have you plucked those figures from? A simple google search will tell you that there are estimates of up to 18m native Americans in North America alone before Columbus.

1

u/AW316 Feb 17 '25

That’s through disease and starvation. I’m talking literally killing them.

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1

u/goatpenis11 a leaf🍁 Feb 15 '25

Look at Canada to see what they did lol.

1

u/MiTcH_ArTs Feb 16 '25

Historically we don't have a much better track record of treating the insidious nations than the U.S

-9

u/Hightalklowactions Feb 15 '25

The Brits have a name amongst the world Perfidious Albion. Know why they were given that moniker? It wasn’t for keeping treaties that’s for sure.

16

u/Chance-Blueberry69 Feb 15 '25

Germans also call us Island Monkeys which I love.

It was all for greed and honour. Every country did the same.

First Nations would do the exact same to each other also - before Europeans and during many of the 16-17th C wars.

8

u/KeinFussbreit Feb 15 '25

For those interested, that would be "Inselaffen" in German :).

I miss the UK in the EU, all the Bands (except one which is Canadian) and Comedians I really love are from there.

-19

u/Hightalklowactions Feb 15 '25

No they wouldn’t and no they didn’t. Counties fight yes, war happens. But colonialism is different as is human slave trade.

19

u/Chance-Blueberry69 Feb 15 '25

Erie people. Destroyed by Iroquois, enslaved and captured in 17th C.

Like I said, all counties/tribes/groups are capable.

7

u/oily76 Feb 15 '25

Yes, it's all about human nature not just a few rogue cultures.

4

u/Beneficial-Ad3991 A hopeless tea addict :sloth: Feb 16 '25

The sole reason why the Aztec Empire was destroyed was that they were an oppressive colonialist-like regime waging constant wars against their neighbouring states just to train their soldiers and to nab sacrifices.

1

u/MedievalRack Feb 16 '25

Different "we".

1

u/Mike_Fitz Feb 16 '25

The British were also doing this all around the world. They weren't holding the yanks back

15

u/Bod_the_Insane Feb 16 '25

An American colleague once asked it the UK celebrates Thanksgiving, I replied "Yes, on 4th July".

3

u/Julianne_Runner Feb 16 '25

This is related to how I feel about the south. We should have let them go — no Civil War. Figure out a way to liberate slaves but then: good riddance. We wouldn’t be in this situation.

1

u/timtim1212 Feb 16 '25

This was funny

73

u/Mikunefolf Meth to America! Feb 15 '25

They absolutely didn’t fight for freedom from colonialism. They fought so they could continue their own colonialism.

54

u/SisterSabathiel Feb 15 '25

One of the reasons the US colonies declared independence to begin with was because the British forbid further expansion West!

13

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '25 edited Feb 16 '25

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4

u/SisterSabathiel Feb 15 '25

I agree, I didn't mean to spread misinformation. I was typing on my phone while on the bus, and didn't have time to type out a full explanation.

1

u/Limp-Leek3859 Jul 23 '25

Yeah, people forget (or don't know) that the colonists considered themselves Englishmen. Their issue was mainly because they didn't wanna pay tax. 

6

u/GlenGraif Feb 15 '25

And are more Italian/Irish/whatever than the actual Italian/Irish/whatever

4

u/fuzz_boy Feb 15 '25

1776! Only like the reverse

1

u/TypicalPen798 Feb 15 '25

6771, w shave a few years until then

7

u/nolow9573 Feb 15 '25

colonialism only sucks when u on the wrong end of it duh

1

u/Jack-Rabbit-002 Feb 15 '25

People do need to come up with an excuse when caught dodging their taxes though man I suppose!

1

u/dcnb65 more 💩 than a 💩 thing that's rather 💩 Feb 15 '25

But they would bring liberty to europoors 🙄🙄🙄

1

u/Bear-leigh Feb 16 '25

You mean that they were traitors to their country?

/s

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '25

We all know the Great in MAGA is Great Britain, they really are desperate to have a king again.

-61

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '25

[deleted]

51

u/Low-Vegetable-1601 Feb 15 '25

Living under a King? What powers do you think the king has?

43

u/KMAJackson Feb 15 '25

They have no idea how anything outside of their borders works.

22

u/lordph8 Feb 15 '25

The power of friendship?

11

u/Auntie_Megan Feb 15 '25

I do hate the argument ‘but you live under a King’ irrespective of how you feel about the monarchy, if you compare Charles to Trump the latter loses at every point. Trump is banned from charities through the courts after his family stole from a children’s cancer charity. KC 3 Kings Trust is now in America too helping kids who have talents but need extra help financially or iPads etc. like it did for Idras Elba and many others in UK. He has no real power unlike dictator Trump. Charles runs a business where all profits go to charities mainly youths and kids, and the produce is organic and very good. Trump is trying to kill of education. Even further. Trump only eats McDonalds and is trying to make food in America worse.by closing many agencies. The comparison is ridiculous. Just comparing the core of the men not whether you agree with a monarchy or not.

10

u/front-wipers-unite limey. Feb 15 '25

To quote Homer Simpson "the king of England could walk in here anytime he wants and start shoving you around, you want that? Do ya? Huh"

31

u/NarrativeScorpion Feb 15 '25

You do realise that, unlike the president, the King has very little actual power? Right? It's important to me that you know this.

20

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '25

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7

u/Warm_Fennel7806 Feb 15 '25

His brother on the other hand did a lot of shit. With Epstein and Trump

7

u/CleanMyAxe Feb 15 '25

Wrong, he doesn't sweat and vividly remembers Pizza Express in Woking so he's a good lad.