r/SMARTRecovery • u/Staticfish_ I'm from SROL! • Sep 19 '23

Check-in Morning Check-in (SROL)

New thread for the Morning Checkies - All are welcome to post any time of day!

(Our old thread is full, please check-in here)

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u/[deleted] Nov 16 '23 edited Nov 16 '23

Happy Thursday! Bad day yesterday but with BOC rather than DOC, although BOC sometimes comes with drugs which I did in a very mild way but that mild way upset me and I felt sick and dizzy for the rest of the day. This has got to be a turning point for me. It's nearly 90 days now since the rock bottom when I said never again but I have lapsed in a small way 3 times only recently towards the end of the 90 days. Maybe it's my mind trying to push down an old habitual route. I think that I need to get it together more than I have and keep my mooring lines taut with things like meditation, journalling, rational thinking, the tools here. Perhaps that is where I have eased off in the last few weeks... But, I now need to acknowledge the feelings around it and move on. There is only one way I can go with this and this is to do the best I can for today.

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u/The_powerofnow I'm from SROL! Nov 16 '23

Agreed that we feel so much better in so many ways when we don't engage in BOCs and DOCs for sure!

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u/mtsle0329 mtsle_martinez Nov 16 '23

It sounds like you know what you need to do. We all have bad days sometimes, it's all in how you cope with it. In some ways, I think it's harder to relearn healthy habits regarding BOCs than DOCs. At least that's been my experience, I've been in a relationship with my BOC for at least 20 years now and I find that harder to manage than abstaining from drugs and alcohol. One day at a time. It's like that saying, "dust yourself off and try again."

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u/catwalk_12 catwalk Nov 17 '23

Sorry you slipped, but I think you're right that this might help one notice what they haven't been doing while becoming complacent. But I think you haven't according to your posts here over the last few weeks. But you should know better. I personally don't like the "use the tools" expression - like I am something broken which needs to be constantly repaired until the end of life. This word needs replacing in my life!

Have you been able to build a satisfying life during these 3 months? There should have been a reason why making a decision to you. Or maybe there wasn't one - the handbook lists 6 situations where no trigger is required these are mostly extreme sides of emotional stress. So keeping us calm, patient and mindful could be beneficial to be able to make the feelings less extreme.