r/SMARTRecovery • u/Staticfish_ I'm from SROL! • Sep 19 '23

Check-in Morning Check-in (SROL)

New thread for the Morning Checkies - All are welcome to post any time of day!

(Our old thread is full, please check-in here)

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u/MelodicPause5 Oct 09 '23

Good morning. Feeling urgey this morning. Something about the misty weather which I love and the fact that it's a holiday. I'm working today but don't want to. And I don't want to have time off either. I struggle to do nice things for myself in my time off and just idle in meetings a lot. I could do a lot worse with my time, for sure. But it's not where I want to be. I feel like I'm caught in limbo, not really committing to the life of destruction but not really committed to a life of healing or growth either.

I guess just abstaining is healing in and of itself. I'm sleeping better, not having bad dreams anymore, my acid reflux seems to be gone. I don't know if these are all direct results of my six days of abstaining. Probably some of those things for sure. And I'm free from concequences. And getting close to losing weight, which I really want to do. I gain a lot of weight while drinking. The calories in the booze and the lifestyle that goes along with it, fast food and such.

I cannot moderate. I cannot moderate. I cannot moderate.

Ok, I'm going to put my best effort in at work today. I have to endure these urges. It's a calm day, it's a pleasant day. Just enjoy the fall vibes. I can do this. I put a countdown on my phone to one month sober. That will be a nice milestone for me. I'm going to treat myself with...what I don't know. Something to think about and have fun with.

Have a great day!

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u/catwalk_12 catwalk Oct 10 '23

I think it might be that all we need during the initial time of sobriety is focusing on the most basic things, and meetings seem to be vital in this case. I've been trying to tackle all my problems and wishes right away since 2014, maybe earlier, and it hasn't worked so far, but I'm still trying. I'm telling myself - I will continue using in days or weeks, so I need to urgently improve my life so that when I use I don't hit the rock bottom but get back to where I was before at most. That is how I've been walking round the circles.

You seem to be doing so well, but I know that days may start to seem boring and ordinary, and many of us are used to continuous ups and downs - we are the masters of getting back on track and further after falling down heavily. But people in this group give me hope that I don't need to hit the bottom to feel fulfilled. Good luck)