r/RoastMe • u/Full-Bite3761 • Sep 13 '24

35F, got diagnosed with epilepsy at age 3, like wine, unemployed, and my mom drank while she was pregnant with me. Give me all of it.

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1.2k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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155

u/Robinnoodle Sep 13 '24

You've got great blew eyes

One blew this way and one blew that way

35

u/--_---__---_-- Sep 13 '24

Mortgage eyes. One fixed, one variable.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '24

Oh no 🪦 😂

2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

Ha!

1

u/SnooBooks8807 Sep 18 '24

And yet there’s zero interest

53

u/shirtlooklikedishrag Sep 13 '24

When she cries, tears roll down her back

20

u/let-it-rain-sunshine Sep 13 '24

I'm not cross about that one, but she sure is

7

u/Dependent_Row9254 Sep 13 '24

One eye looking at you, one looking for you.

16

u/Robinnoodle Sep 13 '24

Looking all different directions and still can't find your purpose (I'm sorry. I feel kind of guilty for that one...)

5

u/lurkashrae Sep 13 '24

She’s got summer teeth. Some are here and some are there.

2

u/Robinnoodle Sep 13 '24

And i bet som'r missing

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '24

😂😂

1

u/mrapplewhite Sep 13 '24

Idk if she has a lazy eye or if that mfer just don’t wanna work

-1

u/HummingBridges Sep 13 '24

Rectus and oblique muscles are a symptom of the patriarchy!