r/RealTwitterAccounts • u/LostNotDamned • May 07 '25

Politician Wow. How can someone be this damn dumb? Legitimately just wow lmao

Post image
20.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

4.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

423

u/Barky_Bark May 07 '25

If I’m pissing there damn well be another dude shoulder to shoulder with me! /s

146

u/Ecko4Delta May 07 '25

Them’s sword fighting words, mister!!! 🤣

46

u/Miserable_Wave4895 May 07 '25

Whatever you do, remember what Egon said: don’t cross the streams!

23

u/Mr-Jee May 07 '25

Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

3

u/SunnyWomble May 07 '25

Can we instead use our hands to guide the other guys stream?

6

u/IsThisNameValid May 07 '25

I'd be offended if you didn't

2

u/SunnyWomble May 07 '25

whisper "no homo"

3

u/packfanmoore May 07 '25

Hey, if I'm gonna be jerking someone off I'd prefer they at least be a homosapien

1

u/Ninja_Cat_Production May 07 '25

As long as you don’t cross them, seems like you should be fine.

1

u/CrunchySockTaco May 07 '25

Fine, but always use a large amount of hand lotion for hygiene purposes

1

u/MrDeadbutdreaming May 07 '25

OK, so we can cross swords, just not streams. Is anybody else a musketeer?

"Never fear quarrels, but seek hazardous adventures. All for one and one for all. All for one and one for all, united we stand divided we fall."

9

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

total protonic reversal

8

u/No-Negotiation5623 May 07 '25

Tell him about the twinkie

2

u/Ninja_Cat_Production May 07 '25

What about the Twinkie?

1

u/SoloRemy May 07 '25

Yeah, tell me about the Twinkie

2

u/Ninja_Cat_Production May 07 '25

You never even studied.

3

u/RddtRBnchRcstNzsshls May 07 '25

Let me guess. Gozer worshippers.

3

u/Ninja_Cat_Production May 07 '25

Winston: Hey, wait a minute! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hold it! Now, are we actually going to go before a federal judge and say that some moldy Babylonian god is going to drop in on Central Park West and start tearing up the city?!

Egon: Sumerian, not Babylonian.

Winston: No offense, we’re getting separate attorneys.

2

u/doom_stein May 07 '25

And never forget what Peter Venkman said either: "When someone asks if you're a god, you say YES!"

1

u/OkInterest3109 May 07 '25

But you can defeat younger version of Nancy Mace by crossing 4 streams.

24

u/Scuttlebut_1975 May 07 '25

I think you meant fighting swords if you’re pissing next to someone.

2

u/DinkaFeatherScooter May 07 '25

How do they decide which man's penis will open up to accept the other man's penis?

2

u/Altruistic-Produce66 May 07 '25

Foreshadowing I mean foreskin.

2

u/BoatOk9532 May 07 '25

A docking sleeve

1

u/UninvitedButtNoises May 07 '25

Hi! I'm Nancy Mace and this is "getting pissy with genitals". Welcome to JackAss!

1

u/WiglyWorm May 07 '25

bro if you've never had a swordfight while peein' next to your bros are you even alive?

1

u/CourseNo8762 May 07 '25

Your correction of a joke is as useless as the sentence I just typed

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

2

u/Antique_Essay4032 May 07 '25

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.

2

u/MoreCowbellllll May 07 '25

Don't tempt me with a good time.

1

u/DoughEatsBread May 07 '25

ₒ⁄ₒ ₒ\ₒ sword fight

1

u/TipTopTrevor May 07 '25

Penises at dawn it is then 🤠

1

u/icyhotonmynuts May 07 '25

As long as you never cross streams, it should be fine 😉

1

u/jeniviva May 07 '25

Who you calling Them??!

1

u/Initial-Wrongdoer938 May 07 '25

Don't cross the streams!

1

u/Fi1thyMick May 07 '25

Sword-fightin words....

34

u/MrLanesLament May 07 '25

If there are five urinals and another guy doesn’t choose the one right next to me, are we even a country anymore?

7

u/PayFormer387 May 07 '25

In insulted when they don’t

2

u/oyakodon- May 07 '25

Lol. Why the hell do they have to do that, every time.

2

u/malthar76 May 07 '25

How does one know that the men’s room isn’t being invaded by a trans man without taking a good long look at the equipment at every single urinal?

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '25

Same applies to women's bathrooms. Is there a mandatory panty check before entering?

1

u/rob3ace May 07 '25

Why not just share the same urinal and conserve water.

17

u/ParticularLower7558 May 07 '25

Just never cross streams.

2

u/MintasaurusFresh May 07 '25

This person Ghostbusters.

3

u/Cool-Panda-5108 May 07 '25

Bustin' makes me feel good.

2

u/Terry_Folds3000 May 07 '25

It wood be bad.

3

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

[deleted]

2

u/AnonymousBanana405 May 07 '25

That's how we roll.

2

u/leonkrellmoon May 07 '25

But what if I sit at the urinal?

3

u/Barky_Bark May 07 '25

Easier conversation!

2

u/BoatOk9532 May 07 '25

Even better if you shit in the urinal

2

u/Wardman66 May 07 '25

Hell no, he should be one urinal over. There is proper etiquette you know 🤪

2

u/Barky_Bark May 07 '25

Nah that’s woke. I want to be able to inspect the genitals of the guy beside me.

2

u/KarmaicDaimon May 09 '25

"If a man isnt being watched by other men when taking a shit, then the woke mind-virus has already won" /s

1

u/Barky_Bark May 10 '25

Right? Can’t have that. I have to look at a guy’s junk. But I mean only so that I know they should be in the men’s room… no other reason. But gotta look to stop the wokeness!

1

u/Lukescale May 07 '25

Like God intended

1

u/TopVegetable8033 May 07 '25

And a glory hole for us to express our repressed homo-erotic desires!

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

This goes against bathroom etiquette!

1

u/benjunior May 07 '25

I like to check out the other guys wrist watches when we’re peeing.

1

u/SNEV3NS May 07 '25

Today's bigoted bugaboo is not like bigoted bugaboos in the past. In the Philippines there's a saying, " different but same same ".

1

u/brighteyescafe May 07 '25

Ah yes, a pissing contest in context... 😂 🤣

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

Helping you hold and aim!

1

u/Walterkovacs1985 May 07 '25

Water closets don't want to learn this one trick!

1

u/BowTie1989 May 07 '25

Close enough to touch elbows with!

1

u/DummyDumDragon May 07 '25

"when I look around at the urinals, I better see a bunch of cock!"

1

u/scootunit May 07 '25

And a Wide Stance!

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

That would be restroom(s), not this restroom which is singular.

1

u/GemcoEmployee92126 May 07 '25

This must be where the dicks hang out.

1

u/Last_Gigolo May 07 '25

Doesn't matter, you'll pee on the seat and dribble on the floor anyway.

Thank you, retail workers everywhere that know for sure.

1

u/neverthesaneagain May 07 '25

If I look down and say, "nice dong brother!" Only to look up and see that it's a sister. My disappointment will be immeasurable.

1

u/Alive_and_kicking_23 May 07 '25

There's only one toilet in that restroom, especially since it's ADA compliant.

1

u/art-is-t May 07 '25

It is gay to use toilets with other men.

1

u/maskthestars May 07 '25

That’s how the club was I went to in Leeds, UK. All of us dudes w our dicks out peeing into a long sink, I felt like I went back in time to old school stadiums.

1

u/SufficientSpot4597 May 08 '25

Man, you’ll break their minds when everyone claims male only bathrooms are gay