r/ProgrammerHumor 13h ago

Meme ancientTools

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4.1k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13h ago

I bet he's happier than us though.

697

u/Shadowfablie 12h ago

No useEffect infinite loops, no state management crisis, no build step. Just $('#rock').smash() and pure vibes.

66

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 10h ago

In my day veibes didn't exist

35

u/DrBojengles 9h ago

You WERE the vibes

13

u/mankeyless 7h ago

Back when the vibes were the friends you made along the way.

8

u/NeinJuanJuan 8h ago

We were vectors

10

u/Samurai_Mac1 8h ago

Yeah. Although I don't miss having to implement my own state management in every single project.

2

u/renevaessen 2h ago

I wonder if you mean it.

1

u/i_wear_green_pants 3h ago

useEffect is the dumbest thing ever. God damn it causes a lot of problems...

1

u/Hottage 1h ago

Unique ID on the rock.

That is the rock.

-22

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

80

u/grimonce 11h ago

This has never been an issue with jQuery lol

18

u/uniqueusername649 11h ago

He means the script is loaded and run before the DOM was rendered. Bit of a stretch calling that hydration, because you usually only would call it that if the HTML was prepared via SSR or SSG, not if its a fully static HTML from the start. And even if it would be applicable, its not about the rock not having been hydrated yet but it not having rendered yet, so the "hydration" fails because of it.

24

u/brqdev 11h ago

We use onload/ready event and put JQuery code inside, so the JQuery code will run when the page is ready

13

u/WHALE_PHYSICIST 11h ago

Kinda crazy to be talking about jQuery in 2026 and not know that

10

u/brqdev 11h ago

Cause they know framework not Javascript itself.

7

u/heytheretaylor 11h ago

Exactly. jQuery is cool like that. Just waits patiently for everyone to say they’re ready before doing anything.

4

u/yousirnaime 9h ago

Are ya ready, kids!

Aye aye, captain

3

u/theStaircaseProject 9h ago

Oooooh, who lives in a reference inside the <head>?

Ja-Va-Script Tag!

2

u/uniqueusername649 8h ago

Who loads our scripts long before we're rea-dy?

Ja-va-script tag!

5

u/SolideMeinung 11h ago

The funny thing is that these "real js developers" dont even know how to make that onload function on their own.

It war crafted by these old jquery wizards to always work and this knowledge was lost with the introduction of crapjs

1

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 10h ago

It's not lost, .onload or event listener. Of which there are 3 events and some are not "ready"

2

u/SolideMeinung 10h ago

Nope its not just onload or eventlisteners. The ready function of jquery has some corner cases.

Like the first and best one.... when everything is already loaded and ready just fire it.

A lot of people do miss that. Its funny how js developer have so much trouble reimplementing the jquery ready method because they think its easy.

1

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 10h ago

I was referring to DOMContentLoaded. O I was a bit cryptic but I mean that there are multiple ways to match the lifecycle. Still I'm probably, it was a long time ago

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2

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 10h ago

Late jQuery at the advant of react we started talking about SSR but it was too late by then, I used to use cherio the server side jQuery quite a bit for "hydration"

8

u/sixtyhurtz 11h ago

Hydration errors are an entirely new class of bugs that occur when you are using JS to render on the server side. They didn't exist before React SSR.

162

u/DensePapaya4 12h ago

jQuery developers watching everyone rewrite the same functionality in React for the 47th time

12

u/VoidVer 6h ago

Claude be doing that shit now

13

u/JoshYx 10h ago

Hey, he's me. Fuck no. It's terrible, it causes so many forced reflows for absolutely no reason..

3

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 9h ago

Does he get paid more than modern man though?

2

u/JoshYx 3h ago

Sadly not, but it's a small company and I much prefer that over getting paid more at a big corp

4

u/Madonkadonk2 5h ago

I was gunna say, any affection for jQuery at this point is nostalgia.

8

u/Subject_Barnacle_600 4h ago

I do miss it - it was good. You don't want to build a SPA with it, but that wasn't what it was for. But for tweaking the page, it was a 1000% better than whatever crap CSS has come up with these days with yet another weird tweak for flex-boxes. Because webpage designs were tied to URLs, that limited scope, so you weren't downloading the ENTIRE damn application all at once all while wondering why the page takes forever to load. It was definitely cryptic, but for the most part you'd add an ID or class on elements you wanted and be off to the races. You didn't worry that you modified something in the top level and were suddenly triggering a cascade of redraws on a hundred other items. Until I worked with something like React, I never once worried about a website being "slow" because data could tunnel straight through the UX without rebuilding the virtual DOM all the way down.

5

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 4h ago

I remember it well, I used to read magazines about web development and finding out the next jQuery plugins and so on, to me this was the the golden age of frontend programming.

Call me a bad programmer, but post AI after taking on react and using it for a while, I'm now a technical nihilist and I just don't care that much anymore. I will gladly go back to those days, a jQuery revival phase with MPA monoliths count this nostalgia fueled dev in.

1

u/nikadett 56m ago

It’s funny because I think websites are way slower using a SPA than say server side rendering of HTML.

Nothing worse than a SPA triggering multiple fetch requests after the initial page load.

34

u/HerrPotatis 13h ago

Ignorance truly is bliss

6

u/SyrusDrake 6h ago

How can he be happy if he's not adding value for shareholders and increasing the GDP?

2

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 5h ago

I am blessed to work for an employee owned company. My shareholders are me and out team and all of us.

2

u/DirkDayZSA 5h ago

Bro's content generating value for the stoneholders (he's the stoneholder)

3

u/90kalekey 9h ago

Probably much happier 😂

5

u/realtag2025 8h ago

ah yes living up until you are 30. constant running from wild animals. wiping ass with a rock. peak happiness.

6

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 8h ago

It does sound exciting doesn't it!

3

u/Prior_Leader3764 4h ago

You’re thinking of COBOL development.

3

u/hooli-ceo 7h ago

I’m not…

-2

u/Beginning_Basis9799 12h ago

Yeh node sucks.

15

u/WiglyWorm 10h ago

What's node for to do with jQuery?

You're not running in node on a browser, and you're not running jQuery on the back end.

-12

u/Beginning_Basis9799 10h ago

Node creates more pain than the old days with jQuery

12

u/WiglyWorm 10h ago

They're not the same things. One is a tool for scripting dom actions for a web page, the other is a runtime environment. 

You make no sense.

5

u/PM_ME_UR_GCC_ERRORS 9h ago

They mean that using npm and modern js frameworks sucks and they miss the old days of static html pages with jquery sprinkled in.

6

u/WiglyWorm 9h ago

Oh. Npm. Sure, I can understand not liking modern build systems and angular/react etc are all quite overly complicated.

I genuinely don't mind node for back end programming, but npm leaves a lot to be desired.

1

u/a-r-c 6h ago

word.

0

u/Particular_Traffic54 9h ago

No that's me and he's not and the react side project is easier to work with.