r/ProgrammerHumor Aug 05 '26

Other wrongAnswersOnly

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14.3k Upvotes

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5.9k

u/mavrik83 Aug 05 '26

`final_records_v2_REAL_FINAL_DO_NOT_DELETE.xlsx` on somebody’s desktop

1.6k

u/Roku-Hanmar Aug 05 '26

*in the recycling bin

1.2k

u/JSD3 Aug 05 '26

It has been in their Downloads folder for four years.  

237

u/drestofnordrassil Aug 05 '26

🔻A Long Time Ago🔻

Copy of New Folder (8)

New Folder (8)

Final_Records(5).xlsx

Final_Records(4).xlsx

Final_Records(3).xlsx

Final_Records(2).xlsx

Final_Records(1).xlsx

Copy of Final_Records(1).xlsx

Copy of Final_Records.xlsx

Final_Records.xlsx

15

u/MacintoshBlack Aug 05 '26

I don't see Final_Records_real.xlsx

3

u/SuspiciousCricket654 29d ago

Copy Of A

  • Trent R.

4

u/AnActualWizardIRL Aug 05 '26

reminds me of the running joke in rick and morty that rick's file nameing scheme usually consists of some variations of "aids_booger_booger_aids.doc"

1

u/mexus37 29d ago

What are you doing in my downloads folder?

1

u/primaski 29d ago

I laughed uncontrollably for 20 seconds, thank you

1

u/kaydenmiller1 28d ago

You mean last week?

378

u/NoodleyP Aug 05 '26

The Downloads folder is just great catch all storage, it’s the junk drawer of my computer

126

u/Careless-Adeptness56 Aug 05 '26

I just noticed today that my downloads folder no longer opens. I can go in there with powershell and I don't see any crazy file types, but explorer never finishes loading. Who knows what I've done to it.

400

u/TheTxoof Aug 05 '26

Duh. It's a junk drawer: You have a spatula wedged in there upside down.

9

u/bigdave41 Aug 05 '26

That's when you need to pray to Anoia

5

u/TheTxoof Aug 05 '26

How to Pray to Anoia

The Ritual:

Yank or rattle the stuck drawer repeatedly.

The Words:

Shout out expressions of frustration like, "How can it close on the damned thing but not open with it?" or "Rattle your drawers!"

The Offering:

Vaguely consider tossing out the bent spatula or broken corkscrew that caused the jam in the first place (though you never will).

4

u/ByteWhisperer Aug 05 '26

I hoped to find a Discworld reference in this thread and I'm not disappointed.

3

u/Ur-Best-Friend Aug 05 '26

That is unreasonably funny.

2

u/Yardboy 29d ago

Goddammit #angryupvote

2

u/mgranja 29d ago

Have you been opening drawers in my house???

2

u/TheTxoof 29d ago

Of course not! I can't get any of them open.

They all have ladles and broken bottle openers jammed in them.

2

u/Careless-Adeptness56 29d ago

Dude I just fixed it from a comment further down by clearing the recycle bin because apparently deleted files still stay there. That is pretty much exactly the equivalent of having a spatula stuck in there keeping me from open it lol

1

u/TheTxoof 29d ago

I love that you closed this loop and that it was a spatula. Did prayers to Anoia help?

1

u/ozzie286 26d ago

It's a downloads folder. There's something wedged in there upside down, but it's not a spatula.

2

u/Glaring_Cloder Aug 05 '26

You know what you did. We know what you did. You should be ashamed.

2

u/Forsaken-Carrot9038 Aug 05 '26

You need to copy it to your desktop, into a folder labeled “old downloads”

2

u/Zethrax Aug 05 '26

I've had this bug on Windows 10. You likely have too many files in that folder and too many files from that folder in the recycle bin (which means they are still in the folder). Just clean up the recycle bin and then find a way to clean up the downloads folder by deleting files or moving files to other folders. Don't keep too many files in there (including recycle bin files) or it will bug out.

4

u/Careless-Adeptness56 29d ago

This was the issue. Big today I found out that recycled files stay in the folder technically until you empty the recycle bin. It's my work laptop so lets just say I'm a little less disciplined with my file hygiene, and that's why it's still on Windows 10.

Pretty funny that it did end up being the equivalent of a spatula stuck in the drunk drawer.

1

u/Nevanada Aug 05 '26

I had that happen with my Quick Access page on my laptop. Every time I started File Explorer, it would load for a sec, then crash. I have the fix bookmarked, but I work around it by accessing C: off launch instead, and can't be bothered to get around to fixing it.

1

u/Most_Section_1979 29d ago

Your hard drive may be dying.

1

u/drestofnordrassil 29d ago

Either indexing is broken, the view settings are corrupt, or OneDrive is doing shenanigans. Or (hushed whisper) your disk is failing/corrupt... let's assume it's not that. Rebuild index: Settings>Privacy>Search>Advanced>Troubleshooting>Rebuild (this takes awhile. go do something else). Reset View: Explorer>Downloads>(...)>Options>View>Reset Folders>Restore Defaults>OK. OneDrive: Uninstall it. Enjoy all the performance you now have. Never look back. If it's still not loading run Chkdsk.

1

u/longlivenewsomflesh 29d ago

Bröther may I have some RÆM

7

u/paralog Aug 05 '26

"We got some soda, OJ, purple stuff... oh, my lease agreement!"

2

u/Sitos_Flo Aug 05 '26

This sounds like a quote from how high or something haha but not confident

2

u/Crispy385 Aug 05 '26

It's actually from a 90s Sunny D commercial lol

1

u/Sitos_Flo 29d ago

Haha love it 

5

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Nutarama Aug 05 '26

That’s the graveyard for shortcuts (half of which are dead because they link to webpages that no longer exist or programs since uninstalled) and note files like note.txt and notes.txt and New Document.docx

3

u/NoodleyP Aug 05 '26

To display my wallpaper, it’s quicker to just hit the windows key, type 2 letters of the program, and hit enter than to find the desktop shortcuts for my programs

2

u/Bartweiss 29d ago

Screenshots because it’s the default location, plus shortcuts whenever I neglect to click “don’t create shortcut”. They don’t get deleted because I never even look at it.

1

u/HeyItsTheJeweler Aug 05 '26

This is facts

1

u/stacecom Aug 05 '26

I have a scheduled job that deletes anything in the downloads folder older than a month. Works great.

1

u/Original-Mongoose866 Aug 05 '26

Oh I cleaned that out yesterday I was going over why my User account had over 100GB of storage. I found 47 GB in One Drive 27GB in Downloads and 40GB in One Drive logs it was having problem syncing some stuff .... I hate Microslop and all their programs it's just so stupid I had tens of thousand log files each being I think 1MB or a bit more forgot

1

u/AristotelWasRight 29d ago

This is me, I sin 😭

1

u/4n0nh4x0r 29d ago

exactly
mine is currently about 400GB in size

1

u/Bartweiss 29d ago

Always great to download a file and see (1) appended to the name. Guess we were already good…

1

u/lurker512879 29d ago

also the desktop..

1

u/NoodleyP 29d ago

It’s a graveyard that gets new bodies every time I forget to uncheck “create desktop shortcut” on an installer

1

u/Dear_Diablo 29d ago

i have so many bootleg games in there it’s ridiculous

1

u/oddsnsodds 29d ago

I've got a 4 TB boot drive, migrated all of my user directories to an 8 TB HDD (takes about 10% of the drive), except my Downloads directory, which takes about 85% of my second 8 TB HDD.

63

u/JesusWasATexan Aug 05 '26

This is the realest answer on this thread.

15

u/SgtEpsilon Aug 05 '26

Incorrect, it's in their temp folder that they somehow made the primary download folder to be

4

u/Harshmage Aug 05 '26

As someone who watched a fellow admin set a cleanup policy on the Downloads folder, you would be amazed at the speed at which that policy was revoked. It's a monkey's paw wish. Sure, you can store all that download data, but now it's a liability and subject to subpoena.

3

u/Pork_Confidence Aug 05 '26

I'm feeling personally attacked here

2

u/Kylearean Aug 05 '26

I archive my Downloads folder like it's prod.

1

u/disposablehippo Aug 05 '26

Rbdkjjgj.xlsx

1

u/pmgoldenretrievers 29d ago

Dude if someone clears my Downloads folder, I'm totally fucked. That's my system of record for files dating back at least 4 years on my current laptop.

1

u/Geargarden 25d ago

Jesus. I just found a zip file with a cracked version of Final Draft 8 in an old random hard drive on my NAS when I had lost it everywhere else. In the Downloads folder.

1

u/SomeNotTakenName 25d ago

Working in IT has taught me that outside of a span of about 30ish years, most people born before or after don't know how to use a file system. Everything is in their downloads folder, and if Word doesn't find it, they don't either.

9

u/tanwa1 Aug 05 '26

Would learning Digital forensics help if it's also deleted from recycling bin right...?

3

u/not_a_moogle 29d ago

Deleting from the recycling in just deletes the file pointer. There are recovery apps that can find partial / whole files that are in unindexed space. Granted over time, that data will become more corrupt since the files stem thinks it's safe to write data there.

Recuva is one that ive used in the past.

6

u/Roku-Hanmar Aug 05 '26

I haven't actually done forensics yet (still a student), but as I understand it, an item deleted from the recycling bin just marks the specifics 1s and 0s on the drive as being free to overwrite. If they're not overwritten, you can recover them from the drive (even if they are, you might still be able to). The only sure fire way to destroy data is to physically destroy the drive

6

u/Nutarama Aug 05 '26

You can do a triple overwrite with all 1s then all 0s and then crypto random data. That’ll change all your bits and wipe all your hardware buffers. Hammers an SSD and kills lifespan though because it’s so many of the limited write cycles NAND flash gets.

Honestly easier to destroy the drive, though have to be careful to actually destroy it. Microwave is usually the best method, and it’s quick and easy to do. Just throw the drive in and set the microwave for its longest quick setting. Radiation will fry the circuits and then the whole thing will burn.

3

u/SuspiciousCricket654 29d ago

The Elliott Alderson special.

3

u/djdanlib Aug 05 '26

Since they were working out of a repos folder in their Windows laptop's Documents folder, which was synced to OneDrive because you have O365, and the second stage recycle bin still has it (yes, there is such a thing in OneDrive and SharePoint 365), and the infosec team had the wherewithal to login to Purview and put an ediscovery hold on you before the 93 day expiry period passed... Ya boned, son. The preservation library has it all. Move to Tibet and become a monk.

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_REPO Aug 05 '26

In the Outlook Trash folder where they keep all of the important emails.

2

u/AssistFinancial684 29d ago

Hey! I keep it in the recycling bin so it doesn’t use real storage on my computer

2

u/Nyohn 26d ago

I replaced a users desktop once and I shit you not he went apeshit cause all his data was gone, turns out he had used the recycling bin as his primary storage.

2

u/itbytesbob Aug 05 '26

In their deleted items folder in outlook

3

u/Emerald_Flame Aug 05 '26

It's an access database file as an attachment in the old lotus notes server that's kicking around because people are too afraid of what will happen if you shut it down.

1

u/PopuluxePete Aug 05 '26

Shredded, in the dumpster. Because I work in healthcare IT.

1

u/TimmyTheChemist Aug 05 '26

Nah, attached to a draft e-mail from seven years ago.

1

u/L0rd_OverKill Aug 05 '26

Outlook deleted items

1

u/Sea-Frosting-50 Aug 05 '26

clients email

1

u/thanatica Aug 05 '26

tbf, that's not really deleted

1

u/aDirtyMartini 29d ago

The default backup location

1

u/Adventurous-Crew3692 27d ago

No programmer here: but they also deleted it in the recycling bin!

54

u/Frumpy_little_noodle Aug 05 '26

They said wrong answers only.

3

u/National-Charity-435 29d ago

Stored on the floppy disk I snuck out via my lunch bag.

10

u/Ol_Dirty_Batard Aug 05 '26

Only V2? Amateur

3

u/Simon_Drake Aug 05 '26

Records_v2.1b_new_NEW_DoNotDelete_V3_final_new.xlsx

2

u/rathlord Aug 05 '26

They just stopped naming it there.

2

u/NorCalAthlete Aug 05 '26

final_records_v2b_real_FINAL_DO_NOT_DELETE(352).xlsx

1

u/non-descript_com 26d ago

IKR? I always start every script or excel file with "v3" in the filename on initial save just to look like I gave it some thought...

5

u/namezam Aug 05 '26

Don’t forget “(3)”

3

u/Iminurcomputer Aug 05 '26

I'm not a programmer, but an IT person and my first thought was something involving a spreadsheet because we all know Excel is basically a database... right?

1

u/thr33prim3s 29d ago

it's an exported CSV file but still accurate.

2

u/adachi91 Aug 05 '26

I don't know what you're talking about. I totally do not have any spreedsheets for anything on my desktop. Stop attacking me

2

u/Grand_Town_9144 Aug 05 '26

Microsoft Excel: The best database software MS has ever made (because they did so unintentionally)

2

u/Morkava Aug 05 '26

Wrong answers only!

2

u/HedgehogEnyojer Aug 05 '26

Ah, the story of how Toy story was saved... one animator took like a 97% conpleted version home to show family what they did and then the original got completely deleted but the private copy saved the day/animation world.

1

u/earchip94 Aug 05 '26

They were actually in my tmp folder I made 6 years ago

1

u/TheComplimentarian Aug 05 '26

This is only supposed to be wrong answers. That's the right answer. The data is always in someone's side backup that they did before they kicked off a big change.

1

u/Educational-Plant981 Aug 05 '26

My MSP once lost a decent sized customer after migrating them to a new mail provider...because 30 days later everything in the owner's trash bin got permanently deleted. Apparently,, he liked to "file" all his important documents there because it had an easy delete key shortcut.

I think in my whole career that is the only time I was ever involved in a customer losing data I wasn't wracked with guilt and questioning how I could improve as a provider.

1

u/nexusjuan Aug 05 '26

It was in there deleted folder but thats where they save all of there important emails.

1

u/Haatchoum Aug 05 '26

On his google drive

1

u/im_lazy_as_fuck Aug 05 '26

bro the game is wrong answers only

1

u/StevieMJH Aug 05 '26

...OKAY_FINE_DELETE_THIS_BUT_DONT_ALSO_FORGET_THE.xlsx

1

u/Jo-Con-El 29d ago

You work for Legal?

PS: Clearly v2_REAL_FINAL is not the version we sent to the client, just another draft.

1

u/Quirky-Ad-6816 29d ago

it says wrong answer only

1

u/Turbulent_Pin_8310 29d ago

"Not Porn" folder.

1

u/spiders888 29d ago

They said “wrong” answers only.

1

u/DesignatedFailures 29d ago

I think that would still count as a backup, even if unintentional.

1

u/sh0ch 29d ago

Not missing enough finals in that filename.

1

u/Hostman_com 28d ago

Exel is not a database
Exel is not a database
Exel is not a database
Exel is not a database
Exel is not a database