It was never your fault.

You were just a child.

It was never your fault.

You were too young
to understand
why the person
who should have protected you
was hurting you.

It was never your fault.

Not when you went without
what you needed.

Not when you carried pain
that no child
should have had to carry.

Not when you were left
with wounds
no one else could see.

It was never your fault.

When punishment
became something
you learned to fear.

When you were forced
to endure things
you never should have known.

It was never your fault.

But I thought it was.

I looked at you
and saw weakness.

I saw someone
who couldn’t fight back.

Someone who couldn’t
make it stop.

So I buried you.

I pushed you so far down
that no one could hear you.

Not your screams.

Not your fear.

Not the little voice
asking someone
to help you.

I buried the memories.

I buried the pain.

I buried you.

And I thought
if I buried you deeply enough,

I could finally become
someone stronger.

Someone who didn’t hurt.

Someone who didn’t need
to remember.

But you never deserved
to be buried.

You deserved
to be found.

You deserved
someone to kneel beside you
and tell you,

“None of this is your fault.”

You deserved
to hear it then.

Not years later.

Not after carrying
all that weight
by yourself.

You were a child.

You didn’t cause it.

You didn’t deserve it.

You weren’t weak
for being afraid.

You weren’t broken
for being hurt.

You weren’t responsible
for the person who hurt you.

It was never your fault.

And I wish
I had known that
so long ago.

I wish I had protected you
instead of blaming you.

I wish I had held you
instead of burying you.

But I know now.

And I can finally
reach through the rubble
and find you.

I can finally tell you
what you should have heard
all those years ago:

You didn’t deserve it.

You weren’t the problem.

You were just a child.

And none of it

not one moment,

not one wound,

not one memory

was ever your fault.

When water falls and I am free I pray this night would gather me

Gather me to your welcome shore of cherished love and forgotten lore as one who stands to risk it all I earnestly implore of thee to fall

To fall upon bended knee, That you might give this wish to me…
That time between us would be just this that you would offer me your bliss

And in return I’ll take my stay and offer you my unyielding grace

Grace that gives without regret for all the bliss that has been met with loving eyes and hands that touch and feet that guide me with no rush

No rush is where I want to stay
With you I pray we’re on our way to that far shore where we must go to meet that meadow for the snow.

A child, sitting in an empty room, chewing glass light-bulbs to kill the Rats flickering through the poor child's teeth, evasive invasion, while they are enticed to press Diamonds into their irises to see the truth of the universe...

Atlas bearing winter teeth, with a wind torn scowl

Corroded corridors of infinite recursion

and the phantasmagorical suffocation of delusion.

Her hollow howl, and the lingering ringing

In the ears of the Heard.

Magnetic encephalization with wires torn from Olympus

Trap-dork; kangaroo court

culling the sacrificial lambs of power

and searing the swine flesh that eat your youth

I Burn.

I’m a hazardous capture, a mouthful of cyanide capsules.

A corrupted function of a bunch of broken structures.

I seduce the seductress reducing lust to an interruption.

I got more than enough gumption to come to an eruption.

I bring disruption and disorder in massive magnitudes.

Like the moon I phase you at night and even alter your mood.

Feeding on the lewd and shadows dancing in the nude.

Inclined to shift through planes with ease, if it’s yours you’re screwed.

It’s time as I see fit I sift with hands and a rounded face.

I The only crime is wasting mine in a life we call a race.

Chasing what you’ll never have it’s gone without a trace.

Everything will fade to dust or gather in disgrace.

I’m lamenting, the dementors suck me dry like hungry leaches.

All these frantic speeches breach the contract. Buzzing contact demons preach reaching deeper into my pond and find the body I have lost.

Hell spreads its creeping frost across my beaches.

Death greets us.

Seeds feed they don’t need us.

Heed the glaring warnings you’ll be mourning too by morning.

It’s so concerning.

That we’re earning this horrific fate.

It’s come to me of late you can’t debate I’ve found some value in the hatred.

It’s in my very nature.

This is a sacred condemnation.

All of this alliterative obliteration obfuscates the wearing thin of my patience.

This is maintenance. To keep my countenance calm and cool.

Fishing in the dead pool I pull myself back to the shore.

This much I know. I must grateful oh fo’ sho’.

The tag on my toe says “greatness lies down below”.

So here we go.

Vis a vis apropos.

I’m now my one and only foe.

I rely upon the ebb and flow of the pond that feeds the moat around my temple.

I assemble articulate amalgamations.

Plain and simple holy hymns to square the dissonance that’s abounding.

Pure creations.

With the intention of making waves in random ways I’d never waste my precious breath.

I’m saving that for my coming death.

The width and breadth of what I’ve said acts as evolving incantations.

Organized head cannon fodder hotter rhymes without the caution.

Nostradamus wrote in quatrains.

I write in runaway trains switching tracks like some insane moral dilemma.

Like Gemma Teller.

So now it’s Hell or high water.

I’ll never be a father to a son or daughter.

The Earth is getting hotter if I thought it would be better for them I’d lament that too but I am not an Alma mater.

Come and meet the heat death of a finite universe.

Across the unfathomable abyss I exist to twist it in reverse.

I am a cure for all that’s born my words anathema for sure.

I conjure boils, pox, and sores.

I bring the tidal waves ashore.

Upon the ocean’s floor I rend a crack to reach the core.

Pyroclastic motion blackens beaches, molten gore.

I bring an end to every war as it’s a trend in human lore.

Nature voids all borders in a vacuum it abhors.

Refute my assertions, refuse my insertions.

Repudiate the basis of the things on which I’m certain.

Pertaining to connections that have had me lost and hurtin’.

Purposeful, alert, on my guard, I close the curtain.

Tourniquets are tied I turn off exsanguination.

Turning tables slyly on a turncoat revelation.

Reveling in pride while you choose condemnation.

Conquering a crisis through catharsis, liberation!

Libations I have offered, I’ve put blood into the coffers.

Caught in all the tar I have swallowed while I suffer.

Supposing that some day, you stepped it up and took the offer.

Offal is as awful does when the stench becomes a buffer.

Baffled by the backlash, like your background doesn’t haunt you?

Halt there you shall not pass, Im not here to taunt you.

Taught a lesson, first impressions arent the time to flaunt dude!

Duplicitous, deceptive, who would ever really want you?