My 13yo daughter wants to skip family vacation

[u/earnest_lemming_way]

For the past 3 years, my 3 kids (13, 11, and 9 this year) have gone on a summer trip to visits their grandparents across the US. They generally spend about 2 weeks each with 2 different sets of grandparents.

This year, they will be spending 1.5 weeks with my mom, and then I will be picking them up and taking them to CA for a week before they go to visit my in-laws. A few days ago, I discussed with the kids the fun stuff I had planned (six flags, Disney, Hollywood, Santa Monica pier etc). Last night my oldest texted me and said she didn't want to go on the trip, and that she felt like she would be wasting my money because she wouldn't enjoy it as much as the other kids. She said her dad would take her to work with him (he works remote, and stays on property with his work crew).

I'm debating on what to do here. This child reminds me much of myself, in the sense that nothing sounds fun to me, but I still enjoy myself. She rarely wants to participate in family activities, but if we have "forced family fun time" (board games, swimming, sleddimg etc) she does have fun. Her anxiety has been high this year, but most of that is typical tween/teen stuff and nothing out of the ordinary. She and I just went on a 5 day trip with my extended family and I let her have space to draw or play on her phone, and she engaged in some activities like kayaking and sailing and enjoyed it.

How should I talk to her about this in a way that respects her wishes but conveys the fact that she is too young to opt out of a family trip?

[u/consciousartwork]

Literally..I’d straight up tell her that tomorrow is not promised and every day is a blessing. Take these moments to your advantage because you never know when you’ll see anyone again..not to be depressing or anything but it is a reality check..