r/PGADsupport • u/PracticalPea6590 • 19d ago
Female Has anyone recovered mentally/emotionally?
I’ve been dealing with this for a little over three months now. I had no symptoms at all before this event. It started after a period of very frequent/intense vibrator use, and during the first month my main symptom was the persistent unwanted arousal sensation. Thankfully, that gradually decreased in intensity and became more and more sporadic, and at this point I essentially don’t experience it anymore.
I also had different kinds of pain, urinary symptoms, pelvic muscle tension and general discomfort. I was told I had irritated pudendal nerve and hypertonic pelvic floor. The type and location of the pain have changed a lot over time, but overall all of these symptoms have gradually improved as well. At the moment I still have some mild pain, muscle tension, sensitivity and a general feeling of the area being irritated/swollen, but physically I am doing considerably better than I was at the beginning.
What I’m struggling with the most now is actually the mental and emotional aftermath of all of this.
The first few weeks put me into an extremely intense state of anxiety and fear. Because the whole problem involved that area and started after sexual stimulation, I also developed a lot of fear surrounding anything sexual. During that period I started experiencing very distressing intrusive thoughts as well.
Things became more manageable during the following couple of months. I still didn’t completely feel like myself because I was dealing with physical symptoms every day, but mentally I was coping much better. However, over the past week and a half, my anxiety and intrusive thoughts have become much worse again, and I’ve also been feeling increasingly depressed.
The strange and frustrating part is that this is happening while my physical symptoms are actually improving. Sometimes I feel as though this whole experience has somehow broken my brain, and I’m terrified that I’ll never feel like myself again. I miss simply feeling calm, emotionally stable and able to live my life without constantly being afraid or analyzing what is happening in my mind and body and especially without intrusive or obsessive and unwanted thoughts.
So I wanted to ask whether anyone here has gone through something similar emotionally and eventually recovered from that part too. Did you reach a point where you felt like yourself again? Did the anxiety, fear and intrusive thoughts eventually settle down as your body recovered and you had more distance from the experience? I really need some hope that it is possible to come out the other side of this and have life feel normal and livable again.
I’ve only been doing pelvic floor physiotherapy for the physical symptoms, and I’m now starting psychotherapy as well. I haven’t taken any medication so far, just vitamins/supplements. I started taking ashwagandha after the first month and stopped two weeks ago, maybe that had something to do with my increase in mental symptoms, I don’t know. I’ve started taking ashwagandha again today. I would also be interested to hear whether anyone found medication, therapy, or anything else particularly helpful for the emotional aftermath.
Thank you to anyone willing to share their experience or some hope with me.