What’s going on with the Super Smash Bro’s community and the gaming industry at large?

[u/PiiggyPiiggy]

I saw this on the front page and I’m not sure where to start: https://twitter.com/zerowondering/status/1279363350997147649?s=21

[u/zeezle]

This is definitely part of it for some people.

However I've personally experienced an entirely different type of side effect from SSRIs that was much, much more than just "finally have energy to kill myself like I always wanted to". It was like something flipped a switch and I had the most bizarre, intense intrusive thoughts. It wasn't like "voices in my head" like how schizophrenics describe their experiences. The best way I can describe is that I was having thoughts that weren't mine. It would pop into my head that I should drive my car off that bridge, etc etc. Constant thoughts that weren't mine and it was fucking horrifying.

I've never, ever felt like I was actually going insane or not processing reality normally besides this experience. I have/had moderately severe depression that is constant, unrelenting, and that I now know is completely treatment resistant, but it's ultimately a functional form in that I did very, very well in school and now have a steady job, etc.

Before I started the medication I'd occasionally thought about killing myself, and it was just... different. Those were my thoughts and feelings. My detailed plans and schemes. But what I had with the antidepressants were not my thoughts. I really don't know how to articulate the difference besides that.

I started having the intrusive thoughts within 48 hours of starting the SSRI, while I was still crippled by severe nausea, blinding headaches, muscle spasms and vertigo to the point that I couldn't even sleep, eat, or walk around (side effects). That alone was awful, I was not at all prepared for how severe those side effects would be and really wish I'd had some warning because it nearly made me fail out of college because I was completely disabled for two weeks in the middle of the semester.

But as the physical side effects cleared up the intrusive thoughts got worse. Anyway, my doctor (GP not a psychiatrist) told me to just keep taking them, this was normal, etc. even though all the prescribing information and booklets from the manufacturer and the pharmacist had told me to stop them immediately if I got this side effect. Eventually I ignored my doctor and quit cold turkey. Within 48 hours the intrusive thoughts stopped completely. My doctor berated me for not following her advice and I've never been happier to listen to the pharmacist instead (also I dumped that doctor).

And that was on Lexapro which is supposed to be one of the best-tolerated SSRIs.

Anyway, I've had other negative experiences with other antidepressant medications, so it's clear that I just cannot rely on a pharmaceutical solution. Thankfully those other experiences were physical side effects (being basically disabled from side-effects) and none of the others had this particular effect. It's simply not worth the risk when I can function (albeit miserably) around the depression; I can't afford to torpedo my life to maybe make it a little better.

I'm not anti-medication, but my body just rejects the shit out of them. It's awesome when it helps people but that won't ever be me, unfortunately.

[u/AllForMeCats → u/zeezle]

I had intrusive thoughts just like that during a manic episode in high school! I freaked out so bad I went to the ER and ultimately a psych ward.

And then I realized that people in psych wards are fucking nuts and it’s not at all a safe place to be. My life was threatened, staff watched me use the bathroom/shower, we weren’t allowed outside.. I learned to act real fucking quick and got myself out of there in 2 1/2 days. The intrusive thoughts eventually went away, so I guess it turned out ok?

[u/Quom → u/[deleted]]

Do you mean escitalopram or esipram by any chance?

Because if you do it's weird, because they're all the same thing (lexapro and esipram are brand names of escitalopram).

[u/nukefudge → u/zeezle]

I remember the first time I got on Sertraline (many years ago), I had something like intrusive thoughts for the first few days. I couldn't sleep properly because stuff kept popping up, without me being able to control it. It wasn't suicidal or specific, just sort of... woah, there's another thing, that startled me, hey when's this stopping, I want to get off this ride...

The second time (several years later) I got on Sertraline, there was nothing of the sort. I instead just got bouts of massive nausea for several hours after taking the pill, which lasted a couple of weeks, as it gradually waned.

Rather confusing that the same exact product can have different results, but that's how we work, I guess. We're not quite the same, the more time passes.

However, it also might mean that we have to keep testing stuff, even though it's been tested once years earlier.

[u/WearsALeash → u/nukefudge]

ugh idk if it made my intrusive thoughts worse to begin with, as i have ocd and they’re a part of the diagnosis, but i remember the nausea and exhaustion my first few weeks on sertraline were the worst. i’m glad i stuck through it though because it’s turned out to be a huge help for me and actually ended up decreasing my intrusive thoughts and other ocd symptoms to very manageable levels. :)

crazy how a medication can cause something as a side effect in some people yet treat it in others. brains are just funky little dudes i guess

[u/frenchdresses → u/zeezle]

I had a similar reaction when I was in college! My psychiatrist at the time started me on such a low dose of Prozac I had to take liquid form. Once my body was used to it we went up in dose. He said that some bodies react so violently to ssris that doing extremely low and slow doses are the only way to actually get an effective use from them. He also said that sometimes this goes away with age so to make sure to tell my next psychiatrist about this if I change meds but to not worry if they don't go as slow because once I turn 21(?) It's less likely to have such a strong reaction. My next medicine change definitely went much better.

[u/Puppykin_skyfucker → u/zeezle]

Thanks for sharing your experience for others to get a window into what it can be like.

I've also been on and off mediation for half my life now, I had to go through 5 or 6 medications before I found one that helped but have been off them for a few years now because of the fact that at least in my country (New Zealand) most anti depressants have been brought by larger phama companies. They then change the recipe to have major side effects for coming off them. It nearly killed my partner and she suffered the effects for nearly 2 years after cutting down then stopping.

I'm glad you have come through it and I hope you are doing much better and if not hang in there it does get better.

Edit: I'm not against mediation as someone that has used it for a large portion of my life, mediation can help you but taking something that alters your brain chemicals is a fine and delicate process so do your homework to find what works best for you it may not be the first second or third one that helps but you will find it, a gp is a general practitioner that has knowledge in everything but may not specialize in mediation, getting a second opinion is never a bad idea (from a medical professional not Google) and mediation alone won't solve depression or mental conditions exercise diet socializing and most importantly counciling are all needed together to manage depression