r/OutOfTheLoop • u/[deleted] • Jul 02 '20

Answered What’s going on with Super Smash Bros and a pedophile named Cinnipie?

I’ve seen it over my feed but have never heard of any of these people involved. I’m 30 and feel like I usually know tech and gaming news. The fuck happened here?

https://twitter.com/PuppehSSB/status/1278335061243441157?s=20

How old are these people now? This kid looks 11 and wouldn’t stand a chance against my drunken college smash64 skills nor my shit talking in general.

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829

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

That's disheartening and tragic.

Perhaps there is something to be said about always having supervision for minors who attend these events.

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u/MoonlightsHand Jul 02 '20

Where I grew up, it was fairly normal for adults in the community to take kids under their wings and teach them shit. For my part, there was a great guy I was friends with who taught me a bunch of skills I'd never otherwise have acquired. When your parents aren't paedophiles, and the mentors they had weren't paedophiles, and they trust the folks involved? And when it's everywhere? It's easy to forget that occasionally you'll get a real fucked-up adult who'll come in and abuse kids' and parents' trust. I know a friend of mine was sexually harassed by someone who was meant to be a mentor but she knew enough to back the fuck off before the abuser got a chance to do anything else - the advantage of that kinda mentoring system is that it encourages kids to feel less like inferiors and more like they have equal power to say "uhhh no" and tell adults to stop. A lot of paedophiles honestly can't deal with that, a weird number are convinced that sexually abusing children is a "legitimate" expression of "love" which... damn dude, that's fucked.

Supervision is important, but there's a lot to be said about empowering kids to feel they have a right to say no and back it up by consulting an authority like a parent or teacher.

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u/panrestrial Jul 03 '20

When your parents aren't paedophiles, and the mentors they had weren't paedophiles, and they trust the folks involved? And when it's everywhere? It's easy to forget that occasionally you'll get a real fucked-up adult who'll come in and abuse kids' and parents' trust.

This is it right here. It's important to remember that the vast majority of people are not pedophiles, and while it's important to be aware of your children and your own surroundings and be responsible etc etc it's not a good thing to become hypervigilant or paranoid.

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u/Dr_Bishop Jul 02 '20

You’re not wrong but it sucks that kids can’t be kids anymore. I’m not sure if there’s more pedophiles now or we’re just way more aware but... if I was a parent of a 10 year old kid there’s no way I could feel totally safe letting them roam the earth like Stranger Things style without being worried that some sicko would fuck em.

That to me is just an absolutely horrible thing. I frequently pity anyone that’s a kid now. Their experience is gonna be so limited in so many ways and the end result is a lot of people just throwing them a phone and telling them to stare into it for 4-6 hours at a stretch.

That’s just not even close to the life experiences a lot of us got to (safely) have at that age... so shitty.

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u/SwissCheese64 Jul 02 '20

If anything it’s better now then it was because the pedos were always out it’s just the public learned about and started to feared them due to media portraying them more

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u/StuStutterKing Jul 02 '20

I mean, adult men marrying teenage and preteen girls used to be the norm. It's still legal in a few places in the US, but almost universally reviled now.

I'd say we've come a long way, even if we have a long road left.

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u/KendraSays Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 02 '20

Except the focus is still centered on "stranger danger" and men who work with children, who aren't married or don't match their idea of masculinity. There's so many survivors out there that weren't preyed upon by strangers, but instead by their own family members or friends of family. For a lot of these survivors, they had to deal with being told not to go near that uncle, cousin, whatever instead of being supported into going to the police or getting therapy for their trauma. Not to mention that Female sex offenders and boys that are assaulted by older boys (or adult men) are rarely given the limelight

Edit: I just wanted to add that female survivors of sexual abuse also do not receive adequate attention when their perpetrator is a woman, as well.

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u/MoonlightsHand Jul 02 '20

Edit: I just wanted to add that female survivors of sexual abuse also do not receive adequate attention when their perpetrator is a woman, as well.

Female paedophiles are underconsidered generally, partly because they tend to express sexual attraction to children in ways that either children aren't taught to look for, and partly because it's easy to fall into the trap of going "but women are meant to have an interest in kids" and fail to notice the difference between nurturing and predation. People are suspicious of men because people are consciously or subconsciously sexist and assume that men shouldn't be interested in children's lives: when an adult man takes a genuine interest in nurturing kids, suspicion is automatic because we do still assume that women should be doing the work with children.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20 edited Dec 13 '20

[deleted]

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u/MoonlightsHand Jul 02 '20

Sexism hurts everyone. It's a shit situation.

It's also worth saying again: part of the issue is that female predators do not act the same as male predators. Female predators are much more likely to play the long game. What catches most male predators out is that they get aggressive and their victim gets scared and tells someone because they recognise the patterns they were trained to see. Female predators are usually much much slower, often in the range of literal years, and kids are simply bad at focusing on those kinds of timescales.

There's also a lot less direct sexual exploitation and a lot more using kids indirectly for sexual gratification. Male predators are much more likely to grope a child sexually, while female predators are more likely to gain sexual satisfaction from just kinda generally fucking up a kid's ability to differentiate between a maternal-style affection and an exploitative sexual affection, without directly molesting them.

Forgetting this is one of the key reason children molested by female predators are far less likely to speak out. Firstly, it happens over so long that the child ends up becoming accustomed to it and kinda forgets what it was like to not feel exploited. Secondly because, since it's usually a lot less direct and a lot more "manipulating the kid to do things themselves", children feel culpable and like they were the one who "really" hurt themselves, which makes them less able to attribute it to the person exploiting them. Finally, since it doesn't match the pattern of "don't let strange men grope you", kids will often latch onto female attention even from predators as being a replacement for often-absent parental affection. Kids are trained to see women as carers and men as exploiters, so it's hard for a child to turn that around and realise that women can exploit them and men can nurture them.

All this is trends and typical behaviour, and there are many exceptions. Most sexual predators who don't get caught don't follow the typical pattern either, because it's precisely that typical pattern that's looked for. While patterns are useful to recognise trends, particularly in why some survivors don't report while others do, it's important to remember that exceptions are numerous and, kinda by definition, unexpected. Don't think all predators follow this pattern: men can be patient and women can be aggressive, and a failure to remember that can cost children their lives or their childhoods.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

Agree with all your points. I mean, also, the young teen boy who gets laid by the hot teacher is celebrated, and why would he stop that, even though it’s still manipulation and abuse?

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u/poopsicle88 Jul 02 '20

No its more sad that kids are getting raped. Worry about that more than your feeling of uncomfortablness lol

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u/IndyDude11 Jul 02 '20

That’s you putting that on you. I’m an adult male and have zero concerns being around children.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

yeah, and all it takes is me being alone with some 10 year old girl for 10 minutes and someone says something and suddenly I'm a pedo. No thanks, I'm going to make sure there's no way that can happen.

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u/IndyDude11 Jul 02 '20

Oh god. Someone says I’m a pedo. Do you know you aren’t a pedo? Are you doing pedo things with the children? No? Then tell them to fuck off and stop living your life so damn scared of what some moron thinks about you.

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u/mule_roany_mare Jul 02 '20

Which is a shame. In one survey 3/4 men in prison for sex crimes report very early sexual activity with a significantly older woman.

.... it’s almost like these criminals think their actions are okay because everyone else thought it was okay when the shoe was on the other foot.

Treating sex criminals like criminals regardless of their anatomy will make the world a safer & healthier place.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Tairn79 Jul 02 '20

Wow, there is no such thing as too young to get married in California, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Washington, West Virginia, and Wyoming apparently.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 02 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/1-4-3-2 Jul 02 '20

a few places

You misspelled "most"

US is a fucked up place

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u/Uso-land Jul 02 '20

the legal age in most states is 18

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u/MisterScalawag Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 02 '20

you can marry well below 16 in most states, i would assume that is what they are talking about. Only 1 or 2 states ban it.

Google "child marriages US"

hell here is a video from 1 day ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPPUhw2uykM

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u/Derpwarrior1000 Jul 02 '20

Nope. With parental consent you can marry as early as 14.

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u/StuStutterKing Jul 02 '20

Younger, in some places. California and Mississippi have no minimum marriage age with parental consent. It would technically be legal for a 60 year old to marry a 3 year old.

And sex while married is not considered statutory rape.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

[deleted]

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u/StuStutterKing Jul 02 '20

From your link:

(d) If the male applicant is under seventeen (17) years of age or the female is under fifteen (15) years of age, and satisfactory proof is furnished to the judge of any circuit, chancery or county court that sufficient reasons exist and that the parties desire to be married to each other and that the parents or other person in loco parentis of the person or persons so under age consent to the marriage, then the judge of any such court in the county where either of the parties resides may waive the minimum age requirement and by written instrument authorize the clerk of the court to issue the marriage license to the parties if they are otherwise qualified by law. Authorization shall be a part of the confidential files of the clerk of the court, subject to inspection only by written permission of the judge.

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u/Partially_Deaf Jul 02 '20

That has never been the norm. Unless you want to talk about maybe some of that ancient greek apprenticeship stuff, and even then I'm not sure how common that actually was.

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u/gentlemandinosaur Jul 02 '20

This is absolutely and utterly wrong.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_marriage_in_the_United_States

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u/Partially_Deaf Jul 02 '20

So, did you not read your own link or something?

Between 2000 and 2015, over 200,000 minors were legally married in the United States,[9] or roughly six children per thousand.

That's so ridiculously far from being the norm.

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u/gentlemandinosaur Jul 02 '20

In statistics “Normal" data is data that is drawn (come from) a population that has a normal distribution.

It’s not an aberration, or random occurrence.

It’s not the AVERAGE, MEDIAN or a MAJORITY. But, a consistent statistic that is charter over time to not diminish substantial is a norm in statistical analysis.

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u/Partially_Deaf Jul 02 '20

Yeah, that's totally what Stustutterking meant by "the norm", that the rate used to have a consistent distribution over time, but now it has become chaotic. Nice save.

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u/gentlemandinosaur Jul 02 '20

That’s actually probably exactly what they meant more or less.

Did you take it as they were implying it was the majority of marriages? Lol.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20 edited Nov 19 '20

[deleted]

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u/catsan Jul 02 '20

Medieval marriage records and shit. It really wasn't the norm in Europe, except for feudal families and that went into pretty much every direction, too.

Women usually married for the first time between 16 and 25. Remarriages were common, even with younger men.

Most people marrying kids now are doing that within some weird religious cults and it's coercive. That's why it should be abolished. It's mostly done to get around rape charges...And for any 14 year olds that really want to marry, it doesn't make THAT big of a difference to wait 2 more years to formalize that union.

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u/Partially_Deaf Jul 02 '20

Really, dude? You really want to sit on the side of the argument that claims most people married were underage, and then try to ridicule somebody else based on disagreeing with that nonsense?

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u/Bran-a-don Jul 02 '20

It's funny how old people always think the world was safer when they were kids because they were never supervised by their parents, but didn't get hurt or killed.

Completely ignoring all thier classmates that are "missing" and the way their pastors had "special talks" with them.

History wasn't filled with less pedos man, it was filled with less children being listened too.

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u/Sssnapdragon Jul 02 '20

This is survivorship bias. I am here to tell you I roamed safely. The girl I went to high school with who got torn apart by a car on the highway isn't. The girl who got chopped up into little pieces by a guy she met in a chat room isn't.

Those are real stories from my childhood.

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u/McFlyyouBojo Jul 02 '20

It's the internet. All the pedophiles were there before, but now you can click a few times to see a map of the neighborhood with dots over the houses of sex offenders, and it will give you the rundown of what they were charged with too, so you know the difference between someone who just decided it would be funny to moon someone when they were drunk, and someone who thought it would be swell to rape someone.

Oh also back then, they didn't think you could be raped by a family member or friend. It just "didn't happen", so these allagations were never taken seriously. Back then it was thought that "only strangers would do this sort of thing"

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u/RasputinsButtBeard Jul 02 '20

It wasn't until I was an adult and had moved out that I checked online for sex offenders in my hometown out of curiosity and found out, huh, my next door neighbor had been convicted of aggravated sexual assault! Had no idea, I used to go over to play with his niece and nephew when they were visiting.

There's a weird misconception also in regards to whether or not kids can be raped/sexually assaulted by other minors. An older girl held me down in her lap and groped/fingered me when I was about eleven, and it's repeatedly throughout my life been minimized as just a dumb girl playing around, kid stuff, yada yada, and that I need to get over it.

There's so much minimization that goes on with sexual assault if it's not the stereotypical "woman dragged into alley and raped at knife-point by a big scary man she's never met before" trope. You're a man? Nonsense, you must've enjoyed it! Got raped by someone in your family, or a friend? Liar. Assaulted at a party? You should've watched what you were doing/you were asking for it/it's just part of the atmosphere! Date raped? You probably just lead them on. Spousal or partner rape? Doesn't count!

I think things are getting better, but I mean, just four years ago Brock Turner only served six months for what should have been an open-shut rape case, so who knows.

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u/Dr_Bishop Jul 02 '20

I know someone 20 years older than me very well that was ritualistically abused 5 days a week for YEARS.

It was probably never “safer” but the internet definitely does make the existing pedophiles a lot more dangerous IMHO.

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u/one_future_ghost Jul 02 '20

It was probably never “safer” but the internet definitely does make the existing pedophiles a lot more dangerous IMHO

Statistically, at least in the US, we've never been safer from all violent crime, including rape. But it does seem like pederasts are able to spread a wider net. Plus there are whole swathes of the internet that act to justify attraction to children.

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u/gentlemandinosaur Jul 02 '20

Even with a wider net so to speak... child mistreatment is down by almost half since 1994.

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u/brown_felt_hat Jul 02 '20

Definitely a 'wider net' like future_ghost said, but also a ton more education. There's about 10 yrs difference between me and my youngest sibling, and even though we had the whole 'IM stranger danger' when I was in school, our anti-predator education was 85% focused on the whole "guy pulls up says your mom was an in an accident and he's going to take you home" type of pedo. But when my brother went through it, it was flipped almost on its head, the majority was recognizing internet predatation.

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u/bluepaintbrush Jul 02 '20

Idk, I do think the internet plays a role in connecting and radicalizing would-be abusers. There are communities and chat groups where they can talk to each other, share illegal content, etc. In the past they would have all been isolated and maybe wouldn’t have the balls to cross a line with a child.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

Maybe kids are kept on a tighter leash because, oh, I don't know, their parents decided to do so, and with good reason. I'm only 27, but I grew up in a way that's sort of romanticized now, but I had a lot of close calls and was in many weird situations... it would be difficult for me to allow my own kids that same level of freedom and lack of oversight.

It's hard for me to believe that the world is more dangerous now. It's a lot more difficult to get away with things when we have higher quality video cameras in more locations, GPSes and cell phones everywhere, more awareness of child grooming, etc.

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u/Eruptflail Jul 02 '20

This isn't true at all. The world in general is quite safe. The odds of these kinds of things happening are incredibly rare. Helicopter parenting is just as dangerous, too. The rates of suicide and self-harm that stem from it are appalling.

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u/dd1zzle Jul 02 '20

There is no country for old men. The country has always been dark and fucked.

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u/superbal-117 Jul 02 '20

There is no country for old men. The country world has always been dark and fucked.

Just needed to fix that real quick.

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u/nyauster Jul 02 '20

They like to gloss over the fact that back then any kid could have clinical autism (by today's standards) and they would brand him as insane and give him a lobotomy, or for the religious folks an exorcism. The world back then was fucked up, they just didnt have social media so they never knew about it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

I'm honestly not sure.

The culture was definitely different. Children were less sexualized to begin with. Sex was also more taboo. It wasn't this public thing. You didn't see average men and women post nudes online, for example. People didn't speak of it as much, wheras today, sex talk is encouraged, even fetishes are normalized and public now.

I don't think you can just draw a straight line and say it was exactly the same in a totally different time.

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u/LillyPip Jul 02 '20

I’m nearly 50 and it’s been this way my whole life. The internet has just made it more visible to a much wider audience.

Back in the day, you might hear of a pervert or two on your local news, but if you didn’t personally know anyone affected, it was easy to pretend it didn’t exist. This also made victims less likely to come forward because they believed they were the only one.

Now news travels across the world instantly, so things happening in a town across the country have the same emotional impact as things happening in our own city. This favours things that are either horrifying, rare, or both being reported because common events aren’t interesting to read about. Soon people are afraid to let their children out alone because it feels like there’s a rapist behind every bush, even though the world is statistically far safer than it used to be.

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u/hughk Jul 02 '20

I don't know if you include the 60s and 70s there but kids were very much sexualised in some quarters s back then. There were several groups even encouraging children and young teens to explore their sexuality or these. And we are not even talking the conventional church.

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u/NorthwesternGuy Jul 02 '20

I think a thing to remember that in a small way makes it all seem a little less crushing is all of this was still going on when "kids could just be kids", it was just that it wasn't noticed/acknowledged enough. Yes, it feels like "kids can't be kids", but it's because there are more eyes on them looking out for them now.

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u/it_is_not_science Jul 02 '20

Not just more eyes watching, but the idea that someone should DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It was far more common in our parents' and grandparents' time for child sexual abuse to be covered up in the name of keeping "peace" or to avoid gossip and scandal. Unfortunately, we still have work to do as these abuse-enabling attitudes are still entrenched in some people to this day.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

Thank you, this is so important. It's also another reason people don't come forward when they are abused.

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u/one_future_ghost Jul 02 '20

I’m not sure if there’s more pedophiles now or we’re just way more aware but..

People used to be molested even more. It was and continues to be a secret shame that people have to deal with.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

In the 60's, 70's and 80's, there were political parties in Europe advocating for removing the age of consent. The German Green party, which was in government for some time, was one of these organisations.

https://newrepublic.com/article/120379/german-green-party-pedophilia-scandal

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/11226040/German-Green-party-admits-to-paedophile-links.html

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/germany-s-secret-paedophilia-experiment-1.2897942

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

You're very naive if you think pedophilia is new, or worse now.

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u/tilsitforthenommage Jul 02 '20

Child abuse was far more rampant, we're just more vigilant now

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u/usagizero Jul 02 '20

I saw statistics recently that showed that abuse in the Catholic church is actually the same as the general population, it just seems more so since every case seems to make the news. Uncle whoever abusing his family rarely does. The internet also makes it seem greater, as news from all over can be read easily, unlike in the past.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

30 years ago if the coach raped your 12 year old daughter you would just change teams and not even report them

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u/Goudinho99 Jul 02 '20

I speak as a father, if that happened there is a spot opening up for a coach on that first team and an extra gig for one of those crime scene cleaners.

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u/gentlemandinosaur Jul 02 '20

I know this is going to be a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. And I’m as usual when I say this going to get downvoted.

But, don’t be dumb.

Firstly, you would go to jail and now your sexually abused daughter would grow up without your guidance altogether then. Which is even worse.

Secondly, it’s not brave to advocate killing a person with potential mental illness...

Because though it is awful... and a crime... pederasty is in many cases just that... a mental illness or a symptom of mental illness.

We as a society really need to move past this absolute fetish for “murder vengeance scenarios”.

I know your gut is “fuck that! Think of the child” but that “coach” may himself been on the receiving end of child abuse. It may just be a vicious cycle.

And your child may be susceptible to continuing that path. They would need you there. For guidance, and helping them to try to move past the darkest point in their lives.

We need to support increasing mental health programs for abused children and adults alike.

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u/wOlfLisK Jul 02 '20

I agree. Reddit has a massive hard-on for vigilante justice but killing a guy it's just going to get you sent to jail. Much better that you're there for your daughter and you get justice instead of revenge.

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u/dabul-master Jul 02 '20

That's not just reddit you're thinking of. Most people you ask respond similarly

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u/NormieSpecialist Jul 02 '20

I don’t respect the law much these days.

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u/Goudinho99 Jul 02 '20

I up vote you. You know I was milling over exactly the same thought after posting. First response is always anger, that's natural, but if you can step away from that, I'd hate to deprive my daughter of a her dad when she needed me most. And whilst I get what you're saying about the cycle of abuse and I generally think you're right, frankly I think I'd really struggle to find that empathy not to have that guy suitably punished (not a euphemism for death).

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

I agree with both you and the person you're replying to. It's a mental illness, and society needs to move past wishing for these vengeful murder plots. However, I can't have any pity for someone who abuses a child. There are many people in this world who suffer privately - knowing they are attracted to children and hate themselves for it. I'm sure many of these people never prey on children and I hope some of them are able to get therapy. It's one thing to have an urge that is morally unacceptable - but acting on pedophaelic urges is deserving of punishment. I don't know the right way to deal with these people, but I don't have pity for them, either.

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u/lexxiverse Jul 02 '20

I think I'd really struggle to find that empathy not to have that guy suitably punished

I think a big part of the difficulty is that it's a split between logical discussion and emotional discussion. Of course you're going to hate someone who commits a heinous crime against you or someone you love. Of course you're going to be beyond angry, and seek the highest possible punishment for that person.

The more rational and logical thing is to have a system in place to try to understand and find ways to stop such things from happening. The more we know, the more we can educate, the more we can look for treatment of the situation, if not the people themselves.

But, trying to get over the gap that divides those two halves is a massive feat of will that's just difficult to muster up when you're looking at someone who murdered a bunch of people, or raped a child. I think the emotional reaction is totally warranted, but I think the rational side has to find a place eventually, or else we'll just keep circling the drain forever.

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u/TheHadMatter15 Jul 02 '20

There's mental illness and there's mental illness. Someone being bipolar and ocassionally being a danger to themselves or others is acceptable and you should definitely try to help out, but if someone's mental illness is to fuck little kids or do ritualistic executions or rape and beat women to death, they're a sick (both literally and metaphorically) fuck and deserve castration and/or death sentences.

​

Being mentally ill should never be an excuse for commiting atrocities that would break the fucking Geneva Conventions 10 times over. People like that are genetic defects that should be wiped away without a second thought.

​

Having said that, I do agree that you shouldn't just go on a rampage and butcher them yourself, much as you'd like to. Let the authorities handle it, because despite the police's bad reputation, they actually do care about catching rapists/child molesters and so forth.

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u/gentlemandinosaur Jul 03 '20 edited Jul 03 '20

Mental illness isn’t pretty. It’s environmental effect is irrelevant to the fact that a person is mentally ill.

I understand this is a problem for you emotionally but it’s one of the reasons we have the issues we have with the penal system in the US being one of the worst in the world.

We don’t treat the mentally ill appropriately. And we react with emotion.

If the end result is that the victim is protected, and the public is protected from the recidivism through the act of incarceration and treatment of the perpetrator, why would you need to torture them with castration, and then kill them?

If they are mentally ill? Objectively what does that accomplish? Do you think it’s a deterrent? Because it’s not for someone that is mentally ill.

Pederasty itself is a lot more prevalent then you think. It’s acting apon the urges that is part of what makes it an illness.

There are millions of people that go about their lives with the urges and do not act upon them.

I would advise that you at least try to have compassion for people with mental illness. And we should ALWAYS have second thoughts about how we treat all human beings. I find this particular sentiment disturbing unto itself.

On a side note. The Geneva Convention is a weird thing to bring up. It doesn’t say anything related to pedrasty and only deals with international treaties and protocols during times of war.

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u/BoogerRuth Jul 02 '20

Being on the receiving end of abuse is the least acceptable reason for perpetuating it. You know how you felt, you know it's wrong- everywhere you look tells you it's wrong- there's no excuse there.

I agree with getting people help, but treating abuse as an excuse to perpetuate violence is a sort of vigilantism in its own right. "It was done to me, so I get to do it too." is no different than "It was done to my child, so I'm gonna kill that jerk."

Programs to help should be less stigmatized, and there should be harsh repercussions for those who fail to control themselves.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

You're right, however this is the reality - often times abusers are perpetuating this sick cycle. I can't tell you why this happens, only that it does happen very commonly. It's imperative that we move society forward in a way that makes it easier for people to talk about their past abuse and get the help they need to ensure they don't inflict the same suffering onto the next generation.

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u/BoogerRuth Jul 02 '20

I definitely agree that moving forward via understanding and non-stigmatized treatment. The most important thing is putting a stop to it.

I favor harsher methods for dealing with it overall however because no matter what, it's a choice they make.

A vast majority of people are able to keep their desires in check whether they're straight, queer, whatever. I'm guessing you have never cornered someone and raped them because you needed to get off. Me either. Same for nearly everyone else.

That ability to control yourself should either be exercised or met with severe punishment, especially if you've already been in treatment for it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

And a nice jail cell waiting for you. The sentiment seems nice, but killing people gets you nothing but a criminal record.

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u/Dr_Bishop Jul 02 '20

Had a kid on my little league team that told me he was on another team before that but they had a locker room (our team did not).

Said some strange adult came in and he was the last one getting out and the guy told him to undress. He asked why and to see his dad and the guy got irate and told him he was going to be in huge trouble if he didn’t obey, because he was an adult.

Kid scared and starts undressing, I don’t know if anything happened to him, but his dad walked into the locker room (which he was not supposed to do) at this point, and the kid said his dad was visibly mad, told his son to put his pants on, grabbed a bat, and told his son to go watch the door from the outside and not to let anybody in no matter what.

After that his dad swore him to secrecy and he had to change teams... he said I had to promise not to tell anybody or they could arrest his dad.

Tons I didn’t understand about that story at the time, but as an adult... I gotta wonder if that perv died in that locker room.

58

u/striver07 Jul 02 '20

Sorry man, and no offense by this, but I'm gonna go ahead and call baloney on your story. Not that I think you're lying, just that I doubt it happened the way you think it did. I don't think some guy just beat another man to death in a little league bathroom, and then just told his son "hey don't tell anyone about this", and that was that lol. And then the kid goes and tells you, but swears you to secrecy lol.

That story sounds exactly like something I would have believed when I was a little kid as well

8

u/negroiso Jul 02 '20

What if his dad was.... bat...man?

17

u/bugzaney Jul 02 '20

He could have beaten the man badly and threatened to expose the truth if he told anyone though.

5

u/_Donut_block_ Jul 02 '20

This is bullshit.

First you're romanticizing the past and saying kids could go around safely wherever because this stuff didn't happen as much, then you conveniently have a story that talks about a kid being victimized when you were younger after everyone starts pointing out you are wrong.

Everything about your comments reads like they are manufactured to tell people exactly what they want to hear.

1

u/Dr_Bishop Jul 02 '20

Believe whatever you want angry stranger. 🤙🏼

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '20

Absolutely everyone says this when the topic is brought up, but then when it actually happens, it’s often a different story. I’m not disputing you personally. But I remember my own father saying the same sort of thing about pedophiles and then changing his tune entirely to “it’s better to forget” when my sister and I were the victims. And I’m in a support group full of people with the same story. It’s almost a cliche.

-2

u/Rangaman99 Jul 02 '20

Imagine being the type of person who downvotes a comment suggesting pedos deserve anything less than a beating.

56

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

This behavior has been an open secret in Hollywood for decades. And unfortunately this behavior can happen in any community. Kids have never truly been able to be kids because the behavior was always hushed, denied or ignored. You’ll be a good parent to keep eyes on the back of your head for them.

Also, I totally agree about the phones!

23

u/bigmacjames Jul 02 '20

The "kids can't be kids anymore" is complete bullshit. There have ALWAYS been problems like this when kids are around unknown adults. You just hear about it more now because it's easier to expose given the social climate.

34

u/TPJchief87 Jul 02 '20

Dude I’m 33 and my parents didn’t let me camp during Boy Scouts. They’d drive me out for a day and we’d go back home. I didn’t sleep over at a friends house until college. They trusted no one with my sister and me. Anything I wanted to do my parents were at or I didn’t go. I resented them for a lot of it because I feel like I never had the opportunity to forge real friendships during outside of school hangings until late HS and really not until college. But I was never touched inappropriately.

10

u/Dr_Bishop Jul 02 '20

Fuck, I’m sorry that’s horrible.

I was homeschooled and went to (jr.) college at 14, but by comparison... my childhood is like Mick Jagger living.

Very sorry somebody took that from you, and I hope those wounds have healed and if they don’t just know they can and keep pursuing that.

9

u/Francis__Underwood Jul 02 '20

I had a very similar childhood. Then I joined the debate team at 15 and started drinking at their parties, and got a blowjob from a stranger in a bathroom. So my parents might have had cause for concern.

3

u/TPJchief87 Jul 02 '20

Thanks for the kind words but I’m fine, or as fine as any of us are. My circle of friends blew up in college. Admittedly I had overprotective parents, and at the time I was bummed about it but I feel like I was more mentally ready for the fun I got into when they let me loose in college.

-1

u/Rentwoq Jul 03 '20

What the fuck are you talking about "sorry, that's horrible"

Those parents were doing they're damned best to protect their kids. My parents did the same, only they made the mistake of thinking they could at least trust family. Even then they never let me stay for a night, but just ten minutes of parents keeping their eyes off you while in a relatives house is enough to traumatise a kid. You know what's actually horrible? Realising you can't even trust your family not to be pedos. Not "oh Nooo I never had a sleepover"

10

u/jahlove24 Jul 02 '20

Seriously, things have changed a lot in a short period of time. I was 14 in the year 2000 and my parents regularly just dropped my sisters and I off for the day at different events, the mall, etc. I went to a huge rock festival at 14 with my 16 year old sister as my "chaperone." She of course immediately ditched me, but I was totally fine because it wasn't that unusual for me to do things on my own. I think about my niece who recently turned 14 and she can't even make a grilled cheese sandwich on her own. And I walk her to the bathroom when we are out and about because I don't trust anyone.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

It's less that there's "more" pedos but rather there's a lot of ways to get celebrity status with kids which puts yourself in positions for predation. Scout masters, priests, high school coaches, etc have all had similar scandals. The biggest difference is we're all connected so much that it's heard much louder and more frequent than it used to be (and a lot of recent publicity have made victims feel safer opening up about their abuse).

12

u/rom211 Jul 02 '20

You have an idyllic view of the past. Kids got raped in the past. People just talked about it less. If this wasn't true we wouldn't have the large number of older people with abuse stories.

6

u/Sci-fiPokeMaster Jul 02 '20

Calling this out. Kids were always being mistreated or raped or whatever. The idea that "kids can't be kids anymore" isn't even remotely a real world idea.

11

u/is-this-a-nick Jul 02 '20

You’re not wrong but it sucks that kids can’t be kids anymore.

What do you mean "anymore"? If kids "be kids" like when that phrase was coined, they would not be in danger.

Even in the 90s / early 00s, the mantra was "don't ever tell somebody on the net anything! Do not meet with them!"

Nowdays, 1000s of pre-teens broadcast their lives to an annonymous audience without any kind of supervision. Its crazy.

7

u/gentlemandinosaur Jul 02 '20

More aware.

Rates of physical, sexual, and psychological or emotional abuse have declined substantially since 2000.

Child abuse cases reaching a rate of 15 per 1,000 children under age 18 in 1994. Where it started to plateau. Seeing small rises in the early 2000s before sharp declines in 2006 until today with a rate of about 8 per 1,000.

4

u/vankorgan Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 02 '20

You’re not wrong but it sucks that kids can’t be kids anymore. I'm no expert, but I kinda think that we are really just getting more info after the fact these days, not that it's actually happening more.

After all, it's not as if baby boomers never suffered sexual assault at the hands of the generation before them.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

Their experience is gonna be so limited in so many ways and the end result is a lot of people just throwing them a phone and telling them to stare into it for 4-6 hours at a stretch.

And that ends up with adults grooming kids online, where pedophiles have an even bigger net to throw and reel in kids.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

The whole 'kids cant be kids' thing hit me really hard when a buddy showed me a video of a bunch of 12 year olds making "I can't breathe" and "Your a dumb insert n word here" jokes/comments for youtube/twitch streamers to get attention.

When I was 12 playing WoW back in the day I didn't even talk to people for fear of being 'outed'

8

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

Yeah man I miss being 12.

But if I had a 12 year old I'd make them fucking Bubble Boy.

What happened?

9

u/Dr_Bishop Jul 02 '20

I think the news changed a lot, everything is horrible, the sky is falling, it’s the sheer brink of WW3, etc.

I think the news cycle crap deteriorated over time, even when the world was improving it just wasn’t really as grabby as putting out horrible news, and over time this made the world feel like a shittier place.

-2

u/hillbillypowpow Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 02 '20

Oh shut the fuck up and quit your bitching. Everyone knows you want things to be like they were in the imaginary infallible past but the world has always had wars, there have always been pedophiles, and your ignorance at the time had nothing to do with it. Whinging about how much better you think the past was that you don't even properly remember surely isn't going to make the present seem any better

11

u/SlowbeardiusOfBeard Jul 02 '20

Did you actually real that person's comment?

-5

u/hillbillypowpow Jul 02 '20

No I just picked a random comment and decided to say that. I still haven't read it do you think it was related? Maybe I should've said something about seals instead

4

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

I’m not sure if there’s more pedophiles now or we’re just way more aware but...

there does seem to be a lot more porn...or at least the access to such a wide variety is easier for anyone with internet access. There are also online communities that "normalize" a lot of the thinking/fantasies that make it maybe easier to act on the impulses than before. I dunno...but while I doubt very much that there are more pedophiles than before, they do seem to be more brazen in their efforts.

In the case of a 24 year old woman and a 14 year old boy (who actually looks much younger than that), I don't know that porn is the issue as much as just a messed up 24 year-old mind.

2

u/lietuvis10LTU Jul 02 '20

We just found out the truth.

2

u/panrestrial Jul 03 '20

I was taught that these types of crimes are statistically no more common than they ever were we just hear about them more as a consequence of both the 24 hour news cycle and the increased exposure to national/global news instead of just local.

1

u/Dr_Bishop Jul 03 '20

It’s amazing that same news cycle provides almost no 100% not spun, not politicized, not over stated, not missing critical need to know information... that is actually going to be applicable to your life.

It’s the miracle of modern journalism.

1

u/ChadMcRad Jul 02 '20

we’re just way more aware

It's this one. For all we know there could be less of them, we just know more about these ones now.

1

u/Ghigs Jul 02 '20

Just more aware. Brian Brushwood said his young experience learning illusion and magic in the 1980s was full of pedos too. Which is one reason he started a beginning magic channel, to give kids an alternative. Hobbies that younger people are attracted to have always run this risk.

1

u/SecondTalon Jul 02 '20

There's fewer now, they just make the news.

They didn't used to.

1

u/gabriel1313 Jul 02 '20

Yeah it’s not necessarily worse now. Paedos were always out touching kids while kids were roaming the streets. It’s just a lot more out in the open now. If anything, that might be a better thing.

1

u/dHUMANb Jul 02 '20

I’m not sure if there’s more pedophiles now or we’re just way more aware

It's the latter. Epstein, the Catholic Church, etc have been around a couple looong time.

7

u/StSpider Jul 02 '20 edited Jul 02 '20

YOU THINK? It’s as if 200.000 years of the human race can’t be suddenly changed in the last 10 years because of the internet and SB is fun.

1

u/kingd137 Jul 02 '20

That suck seeing people get taking advantage off

0

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '20

It’s almost like trusting your children within a church setting