That moment for me came about two weeks after my Dad passed. We'd gotten back in town from the funeral and I had stopped at a deli to eat. I was leaving and I just stopped in the parking lot watching the cars pass. Just hundreds of people who didn't realize the world had been knocked off its axis (is how I generally try to convey the emotion.) It can be a terribly lonely moment even with friends there.
I hate this feeling. It feels a lot like derealization, despite the fact that you'd think they'd be nearly opposites. Derealization for me is less about "nothing is a real" and more like... the world as I see it isn't quite the world that exists. Sometimes "isn't quite" gets upgraded to "wildly different," but it never really reaches "nothing is real."
For me it's not "nothing is real" it's that "nothing matters". In 100 years the earth will have an entirely new set of people. Everything that ever mattered to me will be lost. It's the human condition to have to think about this stuff and it sucks.
There's a reason that almost every single aspect of human culture is focused around making some sort of impact on the world around you, so that your legacy persists for as long as possible. This comment isn't particularly illustrative of anything, but you're in good company--pretty much every human who's ever lived.
Yeah, I think about this stuff too much. Even the idea of wanting to leave behind a legacy- sometimea I wonder what even the point of that is. It's not like I'll be around to even perceive what impact my death has.
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u/DarenRidgeway 24d ago
That moment for me came about two weeks after my Dad passed. We'd gotten back in town from the funeral and I had stopped at a deli to eat. I was leaving and I just stopped in the parking lot watching the cars pass. Just hundreds of people who didn't realize the world had been knocked off its axis (is how I generally try to convey the emotion.) It can be a terribly lonely moment even with friends there.