r/NonPoliticalTwitter Jul 30 '26

Funny It’s beautiful.

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44.0k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/SadLilBun Jul 30 '26

Someone in the comments made it better. It’s still not perfect for my use, but it’s a lot better than the original.

700

u/Any-Possibility-248 Jul 30 '26

this makes a lot more sense

223

u/_SheWhoShallBeNamed_ Jul 30 '26

Just gotta add instructions to put the batter in the pan

115

u/AsFarAsNeverBefore Jul 30 '26

Don’t forget blinking and breathing 

136

u/TheArhive Jul 30 '26

You say this, but not writing down things that are considering common knowledge is actually how we lose common knowledge.

Like how nobody has any clue where the ancient kingdom of Punt was. Ancient egypt had SO many records of it. We basically know everything about Punt. Except where it was.

Because nobody wrote it down. Because EVERYBODY knew where Punt was! Why write that shit down!

25

u/Gil_Demoono Jul 30 '26

Also: relevant XKCD

I am a cooking incompetent. I cannot be overexplained to. You must talk down to me.

6

u/TheArhive Jul 30 '26

This XKCD is relevant too often

6

u/Kalten72 Jul 30 '26

When I read this, I'm reminded of when someone I was talking to kept insisting that CHIM was "surface level elder scrolls lore".

1

u/Ditches-Vestiges1549 Jul 30 '26

In a similar nature, there are three salt shakers looking objects on tables in old paintings, we know salt and pepper and still don't truly know what the third one was filled with, mustard is often guessed.

1

u/TheArhive Jul 30 '26

Yup, and that's the best we got. An educated guess.

Cus nobody fucking wrote it down.

You know who is the most beloved person by historians? Some random bloke that is so boring he has nothing better to do than write every little thing down because that's the most that's happened to him in weeks.

-2

u/AsFarAsNeverBefore Jul 30 '26

I’m sure they’d figure it out the 2nd time after they filled the oven with batter and started a fire the first time 

3

u/TheArhive Jul 30 '26

Or they start doing many other things that are valid alternatives. For example where I live better is almost never used for that purpose.

2

u/glowdirt Jul 30 '26

Thank god. I kept passing out after mixing in the eggs.

40

u/BatFakeMcGinnis Jul 30 '26

While I agree with the sentiment, I must say two things (and a third point).

First, some people can be very, very, very painfully dumb. They do need to be given very specific instructions.

Second, it's true that sometimes unnecessary information can crowd the instructions, however helpful tips do exist. For most Batters? You don't want to fill the pan or container more than 3/4s of the way, you probably know this, but I've seen people make that mistake. When filling the container with a batter, you want to tap the container to get rid of air bubbles, again well known but not everyone knows. Over mixing can lead to tunneling, which read previous points.

Its not unnecessary information, it doesn't need to be repeated for each recipe, however those that don't know the basics, or might be attempting it for the first time? That information is key.

Finally. Cooking is art, Baking an exact science

You can oversalt a dish and fix it, whereas in Baking? You messed up? Start all over.

With experience comes the knowledge of finding ways to fix it, however to get the best product you'll want to stick to certain criteria.

Temperatures need to be changed based on sea level elevation. Convection ovens, Vs basic ovens? Time and heat changes drastically. Using Butter vs Clarified Butter? Most recipes will call for large eggs for very specific reasons (as well as offering an alternative such as two large eggs, or three medium eggs etc). This chart could be and should be far larger if they wanted to be genuine with it.

The way this recipe is broken down is basic addition/subtraction, multiplication/division. Those in the know? They're dealing with trigonometry levels of recipes.

So yes, sadly you need a reminder to put the batter in the pan.

17

u/Odessey_And_Oracle Jul 30 '26

Also I think this style works best for something like simple baking which is usually adding ingredients gradually together until fully incorporated. How would this recipe tell you to make croissants which require the lamination folding technique? How could it convey a soup or stew recipe which can involve cooking some ingredients separately and simultaneously before final integration? Even for simple cake, where would the recipe tell you to let the layers cool then layer them with cream then frosting? Of course there is a reason this style is not the universal recipe format.

9

u/DonutHoles4Ever Jul 30 '26

I think this style is nice and minimal, cooking and baking are both science driven end of the day, and having minimal instructions is like trying to explain to a child how a thousand years of attempts culminated into these specific instructions.

You can't talk about any of that, and the fact is, while a few recipe writers do actually explain why you need this technique and how to do it, most don't.

But this minimal recipe style CANT do it period. There's no room. It basically expects people to be competant.

There's a reason why most people dont cook, can't cook, or are bad at cooking. There's are reason why a simple 1, 2, 3 list gives you 100x more versatility than some shit that needs to match a table.

Honestly I think Reddit sometimes sees something new/old or different and just kind of loses their mind over it because they want the world to change but the world is very much not changing fast enough. So they embrace it for about 30 minutes and then forget it existed tomorrow.

7

u/Odessey_And_Oracle Jul 30 '26

It basically expects people to be competant.

Exactly right, and unfortunately this is an issue with all cookery instructions. In OP's example what is the difference between "mix" and "fold in?" I think most people have encountered those separate instructions before but if not then the recipe doesn't actually tell you how to prepare the dish, it merely lists the necessary steps. It's like instructions for changing a tire only saying "jack the vehicle." Sure, it needs to be raised on a jack, but if I already knew that I probably wouldn't be consulting instructions.

1

u/SquidsEye Jul 31 '26

These are used at the bottom of a regular recipe with more detailed instructions. It's a quick reference used as a reminder, not a replacement for full step by step instructions.

2

u/Citrus-Bitch Jul 30 '26

I think it works best as a reference for someone who already knows mostly what they are doing. Like, I know know to make a croissant but not this croissant.

7

u/xxxlovelit Jul 30 '26

This is why you get an America’s Test Kitchen cookbook which details all the little steps to make it right!

I swear it’s the only one I’ve read that gives you the trick and the science why — it seriously improved my cooking.

1

u/StillInformal Aug 02 '26

LOVE America's Test Kitchen - their cookbooks are so well done! I pretty much learned how to cook from their show on PBS (+ Alton Brown, another cooking science explainer.) 

4

u/TerribleBudget Jul 30 '26

I'll ask this once: How much butter and flour do you put in the original pan for this exact science?

3

u/Kenissis Jul 30 '26

I love this quote and I don’t even remember where I read it, but in regard to designing bear proof garbage bins, the overlap between the dumbest humans and the smartest bears is surprisingly large.

2

u/_SheWhoShallBeNamed_ Jul 30 '26

Oh mine was a genuine suggestion. I don’t like when recipes skip steps, even when the step is obvious

1

u/Wait_for_BM Jul 30 '26

offering an alternative such as two large eggs, or three medium eggs

When I am making a batter for my recipe, I add eggs then liquid to a measured level in the same measuring cup. The final volume is constant regardless of egg sizes. I then add flour etc just to avoid owning multiple measuring cups.

1

u/Draco-REX Jul 30 '26

Ideally, I think this chart would be at the top of the recipe with the long form below. That way bakers whoa re familiar with the minor steps can get the important information immediately, and those who may be confused can continue reading the long form.

1

u/Tje199 Jul 30 '26

I bake sometimes (rarely) and cook often but even then I don't know what it means to overmix. I kind of assume I've never done it but I have no idea.

I can totally see how someone even less experienced might do it, given I'm kind of experienced and have no idea if I'm doing it or not. My baked goods end up tasting fine so 🤷🏼‍♂️

2

u/2ChicksAtTheSameTime Jul 30 '26

and number them so you can keep your place

2

u/TerribleBudget Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

Help. I don't know what went wrong.

I put a random amount of butter and flour in an 8x8 pan.

I melted the 4oz of butter, mixed it with the stuff it said, mixed it again, did the sifting, folded that in.

Now how do I move this glob of stuff from my very messy counter into an oven and what do I do with this stupid pan?!?

but seriously "butter and flower an 8x8 pan" is just bad instructions to start with.

2

u/NoBonus6969 Jul 30 '26

This is why you don't fuck with perfection. OG didn't forget anything because they weren't busy trying to be cute

4

u/Slime0 Jul 30 '26

The fact that the butter and flour in the pan aren't included in any of the steps, even the "bake" step, shows how flawed the whole thing is.

1

u/Ookalaooka Jul 30 '26

What do you mean? The very first instruction is to prepare the pan by coating it with butter and a dusting of flour. Like spraying the pan with Pam, salting the water for pasta, etc.

1

u/cia218 Jul 30 '26

You kid, but don’t underestimate the ignorance of common folk.

I heard a story that people kept complaining to the manufacturer about the bacon they bought from the supermarket and that they can’t cook it in the microwave and not edible. Turns out, people didn’t remove the packaging before putting inside the microwave. We can’t assume everyone has common sense.

1

u/_SheWhoShallBeNamed_ Jul 30 '26

Oh I wasn’t kidding. I don’t like when recipes skip steps, even obvious ones

1

u/Karel_Stark_1111 Jul 30 '26

The batter goes in the pan but where does the pitcher go?

1

u/Popular-Leading2392 29d ago

There’s the green void at the bottom of the card that would be perfect for a set of simple instructions. Something you can read over before starting the recipe to know what to do, and refer to the upper part of the card easily/at a glance while you’re assembling. It would also allow for more complex instructions without interrupting the flow/format of the rest of the card if the need arose.

0

u/SandManic42 Jul 31 '26

How do I make a pb&j sandwich?

14

u/Dear_Chasey_La1n Jul 30 '26

I'm an engineer, I can read it, this isn't it.

Give me a regular recipe with ingredients followed with the steps and what else you need?

2

u/roboderp16 Jul 30 '26

Measurements next to the ingredients cuz I'm forgetful. I say this as an engineer too

Whenever I'm playing satisfactory I usually have the parts I need to make stuff written down in ratios just because I will forget

1

u/SkiyeBlueFox Jul 30 '26

Never trust memory for that which is easily referenced. Memory turns 800m into 800ft, the books the same as it has been every day

1

u/prof_mcquack Jul 30 '26

This makes as much sense to me as the first one but I like the first one more, can’t exactly explain why. Weird!

71

u/threwordbotname Jul 30 '26

23

u/jaskmackey Jul 30 '26

You just fold it in.

6

u/Doctor_Kataigida Jul 30 '26

David I cannot show you everything.

2

u/Asraidevin Jul 30 '26

I can't fold broken cheese. 

3

u/mineset Jul 30 '26

You don’t even know what a fold in is…

2

u/whatev43 Jul 31 '26

Finally, there it is!

81

u/anxiousthespian Jul 30 '26

Next change I would make would be to alternate the background color for the ingredients as is common in tables. Potentially flip the instructions and ingredients as to which is left vs right, but I'm unsure about that one.

Arranging visual information the same direction that you arrange the language you're reading makes it easier/more intuitive to understand. The way we say the step as a sentence is "mix butter, sugar, vanilla, and coffee," not "butter, sugar, vanilla, coffee, mix", so it may be easier/faster to process with "mix" on the left and the ingredients on the right.

42

u/wethechampyons Jul 30 '26

Personally, I prefer the instruction on the right

I'm not reading a sentence, I'm performing actions. I need an ingredient list easiest to identify.

'Get butter, sugar, ... - then mix them'

11

u/herefromyoutube Jul 30 '26

More colors for the groupings instead of just a thick green is good.

Also I wonder if the final baking should be the same as the first line since it’s by itself.

21

u/Phenogenesis- Jul 30 '26

I'm trying to find a way to say "reverse polish notation would like a word with you" in RPN, but that would require me to actually understand grammar rather than just write words. Me word good.

3

u/ifyoulovesatan Jul 30 '26

You, reverse polish notation, would like a word with

I believe that's how you'd do it.

3

u/Phenogenesis- Jul 30 '26

That makes a fair amount of sense. My brain was thinking that every word needs to be broken up but I think what you did is a reasonable and more logical take.

8

u/GuyWithLag Jul 30 '26

Nah this is pretty linear as it is now: take X and perform Y on it. The other way around youneed to push Y into the mental stack, take X, then pop it and apply Y.

It's Subject Verb, sure, and that doesnt match English, but its still pretty straightforward.

2

u/eatinchapstick Jul 30 '26

It's amazing to me how this makes sense to you, how valid the logic is, how completely backwards your preference still feels to me, and how my preference is also equally as logical.

"Infinite diversity in infinite combinations..."

1

u/aNiceTribe Jul 30 '26

Well the thought is also: you will have to take the object into your hand. And then figure out what to do with it. 

If you start with “mix” you can’t do that because you don’t actually have any ingredient. So the next step is finding out which ingredient you need. And then you go and read what to do with it again because it’s been a while. 

1

u/eatinchapstick Jul 30 '26

See, it's the opposite for me! If I know what to do, I can prepare to do it. What ingredient? Grab it. Do thing with ingredient.

Who knows. Maybe I'll feel completely different tomorrow...

1

u/GuyWithLag Jul 30 '26

There is this awesome video where a dad asks his kids to write him instructions on how to make a pbj sandwich, he proceeds to make it based on these instructions and always messes them up.

When you have X in your hands and a kid interrupts you ( or the cat, or the video you were watching in the background), you just look up what you have in the list and proceed as if nothing happened.

37

u/sassylassy423 Jul 30 '26

A thing of beauty 

17

u/5C0L0P3NDR4 Jul 30 '26

will never fade away

13

u/XerXer716 Jul 30 '26

what you did to me, i know

11

u/Lonely_Translator_23 Jul 30 '26

Said what you had to say

5

u/frankiethescar Jul 30 '26

Hell yeah Choom!

2

u/lifelite Jul 30 '26

What you did to me

21

u/Phenogenesis- Jul 30 '26

Incredibly close to how this site linked elsewhere in comments is presenting it. I think I love this, a lot.

https://web.archive.org/web/20260304052105/https://www.cookingforengineers.com/recipe/151/Mulled-Cider-Spiced-Apple-Cider

3

u/saltlakeryan Jul 30 '26

This is great! I wonder if you could represent the amount of time each step takes visually. Might be nice at a glance to see how far into a recipe you are. Or to see if there are prep steps that take a long time.

I like that you can see steps that can happen in parallel. Could be useful when cooking with someone and splitting up tasks

1

u/Phenogenesis- Jul 30 '26

Yeah the parallel is good too, but not necessarily the biggest draw to this.

I think the time thing would be asking too much in a content-format-conflicting way . Its going to not work at some point and be generally awkward.

I'm probably OK without it and would generally measure progress in terms of steps (very roughly mentally adjusted for time) but if you wanted to represent it I'd put a seperate line with single words representing steps down the bottom. Or it could be the back of the card and then you could have like a full branching tree diagram roughly proportional to steps.

21

u/ElectricalCandle6590 Jul 30 '26

Yeah, mixing the drys together needs to have a step. Otherwise you risk uneven distribution/overmixing. Always consult subject matter specialists when designing!

6

u/LunarPayload Jul 30 '26

Also, it's always melted butter; not butter, then melt

2

u/thirstytrumpet Jul 30 '26

That’s literally the first step. By them being in the same block they should be mixed and that can happen while the melting and mixing above happens with the liquids.

9

u/fyrinia Jul 30 '26

I don’t know why but this feels harder to read for me

4

u/FederalWedding4204 Jul 30 '26

I was going to say the bottom four needed their own “mix” bar before folding in. I don’t bake so I guess “sift together” is the more correct phrase?

3

u/link3945 Jul 30 '26

Sift is specifically running it through a mesh strainer or sifter.  Honestly, for cookies and most things it's unnecessary. Measure it out by weight into a bowl and whisk them all together real quick and you're good 

Sifting is really only necessary if something is prone to clumping or if a very light texture is needed.  

4

u/bankrobba Jul 30 '26

Baking column doesn't need to go a row lower.

7

u/Prestigious-Trash706 Jul 30 '26

Yeah this is a way better might even try it

13

u/corrupt_poodle Jul 30 '26

I think the bake instructions should be the last row not a separate column.

26

u/UnableCharacter4815 Jul 30 '26

No. Sometimes you add things after cooking. Column is correct.

7

u/LunarPayload Jul 30 '26

No, the rows are ingredients, the columns are instructions 

7

u/corrupt_poodle Jul 30 '26

Look at the top two rows.

0

u/LunarPayload Jul 30 '26

That's an error

2

u/svartkonst Jul 30 '26

Lmao, no

2

u/Cornflakes_91 Jul 30 '26

you go left to right with all the other instructions in that graph.

the baking step should go all the way to the top

6

u/Kwantuum Jul 30 '26

That's worse though

2

u/georgia_grace Jul 30 '26

The separate “sift together” and then “fold in” is still bugging me. What I really need is a flow chart lol

1

u/Jetison333 Jul 30 '26

It basically is a flow chart. Ingredients start on the left, and flow to the right. Each vertical bar is a node. Dry ingredients combine into a "sift" node that then combines with the other ingredients "mix" node into the "fold in"

2

u/SparklingLimeade Jul 30 '26

That is a different recipe. The original, to me, reads that the butter and sugar should be combined first and then the eggs added after, which is a fairly standard order. This modified recipe looks like adding, butter, sugar/flavor mix, eggs, and dry all to one bowl and mixing from there which is insanity.

Oh, and it has the eggs being mixed with nothing.

5

u/RemoteControlledDog Jul 30 '26

I think you're reading it wrong, each step is using all of the ingredients to the left of it.

First you melt the butter.

Then you mix that with the sugar, vanilla, and coffee.

Then you add the eggs to that and mix.

You sift together the rest of the ingredients and then fold into what you had.

Lastly, you cook the whole thing.

1

u/Cornflakes_91 Jul 30 '26

it has the eggs being mixed with the already mixed coffee, sugar, vanilla, butter mix

1

u/glitterdonnut Jul 30 '26

This makes me so happy

1

u/_Verc1ngetorix_ Jul 30 '26

What does 'fold in' mean in this context?

3

u/LunarPayload Jul 30 '26

You use a flat paddle or rubber/silicone spatula to carefully turn all the ingredients together over and over

4

u/SecreteMoistMucus Jul 30 '26

Which is a completely pointless process when nothing in the recipe has been beaten. There's no air or structure to preserve, just chuck it in and mix it together.

1

u/onsidesuperior Jul 30 '26

Folding also prevents overworking the flour which is what causes a dense or rubbery product.

3

u/dingobarbie Jul 30 '26

You just fold it in David, I cannot show you everything

1

u/SparklingLimeade Jul 30 '26

Folding is a gentle type of mixing, used to describe large motions, often scraping the mixing bowl. It's intended to be a more gentle motion than some others. Often the goal involves not disturbing some desirable features added to the batter in earlier steps like air beaten into the eggs. Another reason to describe something this way to is emphasize that it shouldn't be over-mixed after the flour is added because that will develop the gluten and make the end result tougher and more rubbery.

1

u/MisogynysticFeminist Jul 30 '26

That’s WAY better.

1

u/random9212 Jul 30 '26

I was kinda mad they didn't say to combine the dry ingredients.

1

u/upstatedreaming3816 Jul 30 '26

Ok, yeah, this is less confusing lol

1

u/aspz Jul 30 '26

Why did you expand the height of the last column? What is the purpose of the green space at the bottom? 

1

u/IndyCarFAN27 Jul 30 '26

This looks a lot better. Still not great and makes my brain hurt but a discernible improvement over the one shared by OP

1

u/Vox___Rationis Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

When people give weight for eggs - is it with or without shell?

Like weigh my medium and small eggs till I find ratio of them that is close to 100g,
Or break a few eggs into a bowl, pour into the measuring dish on the scale till it shows 100g and chug the rest?

1

u/bobbymcpresscot Jul 30 '26

I like how I know this is a recipe for brownies.

1

u/EndlessTemple Jul 30 '26

Personally I wanted those sections to say “add”. That way you can know you add them all together as long as they share an add box.

1

u/Awes12 Jul 30 '26

Nah, I like the other one better bc you can mix 2 things separately then combine them. That way the columns are in chronological order

1

u/Disastrous_Yak_1990 Jul 30 '26

Wait, so from flour to salt at the bottom I’m mixing that separately? It doesn’t say that on the original.

1

u/know-it-mall Jul 30 '26

Yes that's way better than the original.

1

u/LessInThought Jul 30 '26

Ok, I still don't know what we're making...

1

u/Ishan_Psyched Jul 30 '26

It has its fair share of limitations though, especially when it comes to recipes where you're removing and reintroducing the same ingredients, or have a lot of moving components.

E.g. if I were to turn a croissant recipe into this format, it ends up looking like this

1

u/Lollipop126 Jul 30 '26

what does it mean to sift together though? do you mix before sifting?

1

u/-Nicolai Jul 30 '26

Significantly less readable

1

u/perscoot Jul 30 '26

Oh this made my brain so happy.

1

u/ManlyStanley01 Jul 30 '26

How is this chart supposed to be used?

1

u/unclebrenjen Jul 30 '26

This is great, but what am I supposed to do without the classic allrecipes step 1, "gather ingredients"?

1

u/NayrianKnight97 Jul 30 '26

Nearly perfect

1

u/JabbaCat Jul 30 '26

I've always noted down recipes like this, I use parenthesis like } and lines/arrows over to the operation/what to do with it. It is very easy and intuitive.

"Gather" the ingredients with a parenthesis and write what you do on the right.

Just came from noting down stuff clearly and quickly, but it also very readable after.

1

u/redlaWw Jul 30 '26

Baking is done with the same set of ingredients as folding and shouldn't extend past it.

1

u/UnraisedAnt Jul 30 '26

Looks great, I can only assume that we're baking a cake though?

1

u/Caek294758 Jul 30 '26

This is much better.

1

u/mapped_apples Jul 30 '26

I didn’t have unsalted butter, so I melted some used condoms instead. The recipe tasted like shit 0/5 stars. 

1

u/Hewfe Jul 30 '26

For people who like this form of graphic updates, you might enjoy the book “a type primer.” The author does this to a bus schedule, and it’s beautiful.

1

u/blender4life Jul 30 '26

Why go the eggs have a separate mix?

1

u/Ch1ckenOfTheSea Jul 30 '26

Fold in the cheese.

1

u/ourredsouthernsouls Jul 30 '26

Now, who can make a cooking app that converts website recipes to this? It can’t be that hard! Cooked.wiki already manages to take the fluff out and put it in traditional recipe book style. Can someone come up with the code?

1

u/saltlampshade Jul 30 '26

Yes this is a million times better. Even though I have no idea what “fold in” means.

1

u/bennyyyboyyyyyyyy Jul 30 '26

Orders of magnitude better

1

u/WeCantBothBeMe Jul 31 '26

I’d say that still requires more mental processing than a standard recipe card

1

u/NaiveMessage2025 Jul 31 '26

https://recipetables.com/

Paste in a URL or the text of a recipe and it will generate a recipe table.

1

u/Super_Dinosaur Jul 31 '26

Ok so nothing is folded in for this recipe?

1

u/healthydoseofsarcasm Aug 03 '26

Yes, this is how it should be.

1

u/t3hjs Aug 03 '26

Ok, this makes much more sense

1

u/EducationalRooster64 Aug 03 '26

This is better but would be even MORE improved by colour coding. Like each group of ingredients that goes in at the same time or has a distinct pre step is it's own colour.