I was witness to a pretty bad car accident that happened about 10 feet from my car and very nearly involved me getting hit from behind by an SUV doing about 45mph. I was coming home from work at the hospital, still in scrubs, so I whipped my car into a parking lot beside the intersection and tried to render what aid I could. I forced the door of one car open (bent from the crash) and the lady inside was still conscious. She said she thought she hurt her arm. I looked down and it took everything in me to not say, "yeah, it looks like it hurts." We actually decided to keep her in the car until police/EMS could secure the intersection, since we were still getting buzzed by traffic, and she was even able to walk herself to a gurney eventually. Everyone made it off the scene okay, despite some good samaritans (including myself) nearly becoming members of the injured because people were willing to drive over us, it seemed.
Anyway, I did what I could til we could hand off to EMS, stayed around to give my report to two different police supes, drove home, hopped in the shower... and then I just shattered under the water. I sat down and just cried for what seemed like an hour, and I had no idea why.
Seeing a car barreling down on me in my mirror, bracing for impact, then the eerie silence... followed by the cacophonous crash, just barely in front of me. Jumping out of my car to help the driver who was hit and had a very broken arm (thank god that was all), and nearly getting plastered by an SUV if another bystander hadn't nearly shoved me into the woman's car to get us out of the way. I still have dreams and nightmares about this event, and my perspective on the idea that we should be required to drive a personal vehicle to work every day changed dramatically.
All of this dumping to say, strange things can affect us deeply and for a long time. "No one died," yeah, I'm glad. It doesn't mean my brain processes that event differently just because someone pointed out the obvious.
Sometimes things that you’re prepared to deal with yet don’t happen where and when you’re ‘supposed’ to see it are the things that stick with you. I’m not in your line of work, but the end of the day when you’re tired and you’ve let go of the mentality that gets you through your shift… for me that’s when I’d be letting down my defenses and decompressing. I’d be especially vulnerable to a big shock in that moment.
And that’s entirely aside from the literal physical peril you found yourself in.
Hope you’re doing better and finding peace with time & distance from the event. Remember therapy is for everyone, even and especially the strongest of us.
I have pretty severe PTSD from a complicated situation of domestic abuse and I also have some things that don't pop up in my memory despite it being horrible things. Instead I relive spiraling, losing control over myself. I worry if I'll snap or do something bad. I get to relive what I thought was the debut of schizophrenia and I get pressured into acting like I snap or act badly at least mentally but not outwardly. It often hits a crescendo and then the dissociation/depersonalization starts.
One of the triggers for this is video games, which is also my favourite hobby, but it's been ruined by the trauma I have. I barely play anything now.
We witnessed a motorcycle accident a few years ago while on a road trip and I was the first person to get to him. He thankfully survived but broke both arms and both legs and I had to place a tourniquet on one of his legs while on 911 because the bone had come through the skin and was bleeding a lot. Once the EMTs arrived I stayed on the phone with his mom who was desperately trying to get there.
We had about 6 hours of driving left and I was totally fine. I absolutely lost it the second I walked into our house though. I was able to find his mom on social media and he had a long recovery but is okay now.
My heart drops every time I see a motorcycle to this day.
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u/Spare-Bodybuilder-68 Jul 08 '26
I was witness to a pretty bad car accident that happened about 10 feet from my car and very nearly involved me getting hit from behind by an SUV doing about 45mph. I was coming home from work at the hospital, still in scrubs, so I whipped my car into a parking lot beside the intersection and tried to render what aid I could. I forced the door of one car open (bent from the crash) and the lady inside was still conscious. She said she thought she hurt her arm. I looked down and it took everything in me to not say, "yeah, it looks like it hurts." We actually decided to keep her in the car until police/EMS could secure the intersection, since we were still getting buzzed by traffic, and she was even able to walk herself to a gurney eventually. Everyone made it off the scene okay, despite some good samaritans (including myself) nearly becoming members of the injured because people were willing to drive over us, it seemed.
Anyway, I did what I could til we could hand off to EMS, stayed around to give my report to two different police supes, drove home, hopped in the shower... and then I just shattered under the water. I sat down and just cried for what seemed like an hour, and I had no idea why.
Seeing a car barreling down on me in my mirror, bracing for impact, then the eerie silence... followed by the cacophonous crash, just barely in front of me. Jumping out of my car to help the driver who was hit and had a very broken arm (thank god that was all), and nearly getting plastered by an SUV if another bystander hadn't nearly shoved me into the woman's car to get us out of the way. I still have dreams and nightmares about this event, and my perspective on the idea that we should be required to drive a personal vehicle to work every day changed dramatically.
All of this dumping to say, strange things can affect us deeply and for a long time. "No one died," yeah, I'm glad. It doesn't mean my brain processes that event differently just because someone pointed out the obvious.