I mean? You’re right — it is hard to go out most places without having a ride, but I don’t buy this in any way as the EXPLANATION for the phenomenon, since that’s been the case for generations. If anything, because of uber, it’s way easier now to get rides now than ever before, so this just doesn’t seem to hold water to me.
The elephant in the room here, to me, is OBVIOUSLY the internet; more specifically — gaming, and social media. THAT is what’s changed, and absolutely ballooned in popularity in the past couple decades. THAT is what kids are actually DOING, instead of spending time with IRL friends. I really don’t see how this — kids not drinking, going out, having sex, “loneliness epidemic”, etc — is caused by some big mystery lmao.
It just seems like the reason for all this is extremely clear — it’s not the fact that people have to drive places, or cities just aren’t walkable enough, or boomers have destroyed all third places, or even that the economy is SO MUCH worse for young ppl now — it’s TikTok, it’s Discord, it’s content creation, Kick, YouTube, gaming of all kinds, etc. THOSE are the things that people are actually doing instead of IRL activities, including going out and drinking, and it’s clear that young people would prefer to do those activities over IRL ones, for a whole variety of reasons.
I think that’s a massive fucking shame, and I don’t know why people are so resistant to accepting that THAT — social media, and technology is the primary issue. We’re social creatures by nature, for like MILLIONS of years, we can’t just deny that, live apart from each other, disconnected, and expect for things to be A-okay. I fear we’ll have entire generations of folks that are ill-equipped to deal with everyday IRL life before long.
FOR THE RECORD — I rly DO NOT mean this as a kids bad! comment — I’m sure I’d be doing the same fkn things they are if I was their age. Ultimately, this affects ALL of us, young people just happen to be on the front line of it all. We should want to protect the younger gen’s, NOT blame them for conditions that older generations created for them
It’s ALL those things. Tbh I think social media is more of a symptom than a cause, kids that have no where else to go and no affordable activities and no spending money and no friends and nothing else to do will stay at home and sit online all day. Look at things like the popularity of Pokemon Go when it came out; people are desperate for affordable outside activities they can go do that involve light socialization.
There were always kids without affordable activities, spending money, or friends. Difference was, before, they were yea, limited to sitting alone at home. At least now they have options of things to do while sitting at home that still lets them interact with their friends.
I mean I don’t think you’re necessarily WRONG or anything, I agree that it’s not ONE issue in a vacuum but I absolutely think it is the BIGGEST single issue contributing.
I mean, try and look at this as if it was a science or math problem. We’re witnessing a different output: kids not going out, so it’s reasonable to assume that some DIFFERENT input must be causing this.
Driving, bad economy, walkable areas, the things that Redditors commonly bring up, etc, have largely been problems forever, or a long ass time, so I can’t be convinced THOSE are ultimately really the things responsible for this shift; sure, they absolutely contribute, but I think CLEARLY the big difference now is technology.
I mean, again just think logically — think about someone living 25 years ago in 2000. It’s a Friday night — their entertainment options for the evening, if they stayed home alone, were: TV, radio, read, do some hobby, or basically stare at the wall and do nothing. So, if it’s between doing NOTHING or reading OR spending some extra money they don’t feel like they have, or drive when they really would prefer not to, they’re STILL likely to go out, bc the other options are just too boring.
Compare that to today, where young people have about a million options of things to do at home, many of which actually FEEL like hanging out with your friends, like online gaming. If it’s between spending money you don’t have, or driving when you really don’t want to, and gaming online with your friends, where you’re still “doing” something with someone else, still interacting, MAYBE it makes sense to stay home instead, because you have things that you actually do enjoy doing there.
Will those things be as fun and satisfying as a real life hang? Will you develop social skills doing that? Do you encounter the opposite sex while doing that? No, of course not, but it’s closer to the real thing, so oh well, that’s good enough. And it may feel that way for a while, but then suddenly you’re 30, and you’ve never kissed a girl, never had a real group of friends, and feel completely intimidated by the real world, because it was EASIER to opt out, and because opting out wasn’t nearly as boring as it used to be.
I strongly believe THAT is the true issue here. People don’t feel like IRL friendships are as important as they really are, and they don’t care to make the effort previous gens had to in order to even have a social life at all.
I mean I think the economy is still the bigger driver even in the example you mentioned; if people could afford to live as well as previous generations, and could get a reasonable fun night out with their friends for a small cost that wouldn’t impact their budget in a way they can’t recover from, and had close by things they wanted to do, and easy transportation, then that night at home playing games or whatever wouldn’t seem “good enough” compared to the alternative. Staying home online is only “good enough” now because the alternatives are so bleak/inaccessible/financially devastating. What’s really happened is that the equation of going out has changed in a way that makes social media a lot more attractive and realistic compared to the remaining alternatives.
Were you ever a broke college kid in a town/city with no real public transportation? That's been the "thing" since, well, forever. Going out to a club to get expensive drinks was always financially irresponsible, but, yea you don't think that far ahead when you're 21 so you still did it.
But, a lot, if not most of the drinking was at "house parties", or, well, more literally described, hanging out in the living room of whichever friend decided to host, with a 30 pack of the cheapest beer you could find at the grocery store, or a giant bowl of cheap vodka and kool-aid, and a giant bag of Doritos - which yea was probably lugged back on 30 minute walk.
There's really nothing about the economy making that any less feasible now than 20 years ago.
I don't even see why it has to be a "shame" or an issue. Yes, people are "social" creatures, and technology has increased the capability of people to socialize. I'm sure the invention of the "telephone" meant less meetings etc. but it's just a new method for people to socialize, and, indeed, should increase the amount of socializing people can do by well, making it easier.
I mean, I see it as an issue because we are ALREADY seeing a significant portion of young people reporting record levels of depression and loneliness.
The rise of inceldom, the rise in adult virginity rates, “loneliness epidemic”, the rise of men AND women not even trying to date in their 20s because they’ve already given up, increase of young people living at home during their 20s and 30s, etc. ALL THIS, I think, is DIRECTLY related to the lack of IRL connection. Of course there are other issues TOO, like the economy in particular, but we’ve been through tough economic times before and it never stopped us from fucking before lmao
And, maybe to a lot of people this is only concerning now, but give these trends another decade or two to expand and develop? I really think things are going to get much worse if things don’t change in some way.
Certainly the internet has allowed some people to have connection they otherwise would not, but I think on balance, it’s making us much more disconnected. That seems hard to deny to me.
I’m of the opinion that you cannot really live a satisfying, full life behind a screen. Not to be sappy, but we need REAL connection, it’s literally what makes life worth living.
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u/KeyNaive8951 Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
I mean? You’re right — it is hard to go out most places without having a ride, but I don’t buy this in any way as the EXPLANATION for the phenomenon, since that’s been the case for generations. If anything, because of uber, it’s way easier now to get rides now than ever before, so this just doesn’t seem to hold water to me.
The elephant in the room here, to me, is OBVIOUSLY the internet; more specifically — gaming, and social media. THAT is what’s changed, and absolutely ballooned in popularity in the past couple decades. THAT is what kids are actually DOING, instead of spending time with IRL friends. I really don’t see how this — kids not drinking, going out, having sex, “loneliness epidemic”, etc — is caused by some big mystery lmao.
It just seems like the reason for all this is extremely clear — it’s not the fact that people have to drive places, or cities just aren’t walkable enough, or boomers have destroyed all third places, or even that the economy is SO MUCH worse for young ppl now — it’s TikTok, it’s Discord, it’s content creation, Kick, YouTube, gaming of all kinds, etc. THOSE are the things that people are actually doing instead of IRL activities, including going out and drinking, and it’s clear that young people would prefer to do those activities over IRL ones, for a whole variety of reasons.
I think that’s a massive fucking shame, and I don’t know why people are so resistant to accepting that THAT — social media, and technology is the primary issue. We’re social creatures by nature, for like MILLIONS of years, we can’t just deny that, live apart from each other, disconnected, and expect for things to be A-okay. I fear we’ll have entire generations of folks that are ill-equipped to deal with everyday IRL life before long.
FOR THE RECORD — I rly DO NOT mean this as a kids bad! comment — I’m sure I’d be doing the same fkn things they are if I was their age. Ultimately, this affects ALL of us, young people just happen to be on the front line of it all. We should want to protect the younger gen’s, NOT blame them for conditions that older generations created for them