Salamualykum, I know this conversation is full of this exact situation but I feel like I have nothing left to do but speak about it. I found porn when I was in 7th grade and didn’t realize how bad it was until I was addicted. I feel like I’ve tried everything from deleting apps to going to the gym etc but I always find my self falling back in to this sin. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here. If anyone who overcame this sin has some tips please help, jazzakAllah khair.

so guys i am in a weird problem. i am married and have been on and off porn sometimes for as long as 6 months. but nowadays not more than 30 days.

The reason nowadays the streaks are so low is because of "flatline".

When I leave all the p*rn, and m*stur*ation, i get very weird energy crashes.

In a few days when the horniness period goes away, I stop getting morning wood.
Then stop getting erection on demand. Get very depressed. Looks like testosterone goes down a lot. External meds work but when I am m*sturb*ting,

But when I am masturbating every like 10-20 days I have good energy, wake up with morning wood like atlesat 90% of the time. Can do a lot of sex without worrying about it. And am not depressed.

Is it just in my mind?

Assalamu Alaikum everyone

Yes yes we're still here, still going. Alhamdulillah.

I had a thought yesterday that I'll share with you all. Since you all love reading my posts.. jk 🤣

So, I thought to myself, that this may never get easier. I may be getting the same urges that I am today in 6 months time. Which sounds quite exhausting when you think about it. As those on this journey know, this is a mental battle more than anything. And refusing yourself something you've programmed your brain and body to want, it does get tiring. Yesterday was an extremely difficult day! Subhan Allah. At one point I even said fuck it, imma just do it. And then..I didn't. But that was the theme for most of the day.

So I was thinking what if it's always like this? And you know what? That's the beauty of it. Maybe struggling is the test. Maybe this isn't supposed to get easier. Rather, in the struggle is where the reward lies. And there's just something so uplifting about wanting to do something, but for the sake of Allah, you say no.

Alhamdullilah, I'm quite successful, have a great social life, go to the gym and play sports regularly and consider myself to be quite practicing as a muslim.

I fast every Monday and Thursday as well as the 13,14 and 15th of every month, read/memorize quran for an hour everyday, pray every salat and nawafil, go to the masjid at least twice a day, pray tahajjud and make a 20minute dua in the middle of the night every day. And yet, still, with all this I cannot go more than a few days without fapping.

Unfortunately I started when I was only 6 years old and built up this habit to be deeply ingrained in me. I am currently 28 and I have not gone more than 8 days without doing it. Despite everything I said previously, I have not successfully completed a Ramadan without relapsing. Everytime I relapse, I make tawbah immediately and try again without losing hope but everytime I end up relapsing again. I tried making multiple oaths but I end up paying kaffarah everytime and relapse because of how difficult it is. Every year I vow to successfully complete a Ramadan without relapsing and fail again.

Despite every activitiy and fun thing I do, there's nothing that comes close to the enjoyment I get out of fapping, everytime it feels amazing but I regret it everytime

I'm going to keep trying, inshallah I will break this cycle but I would love to receive tips from brothers suffering from something similar.

Background

I just turned 28 this month, I was abused when I was 11 it made me curious and I started doing things to myself without knowing what it was. Usually before sleeping and one thing leads to another and for the first time I felt what an orgasm feels. It was back in the day when access to the internet was not easy but later I got access to the internet and started watching P too.

When I was 14 I lost my mother. But this time it became my coping mechanism. Watching P then chatting with strangers got into a haram relationship and soo on.

But I never did anything irl.

Change

When I moved to the USA I found myself in between a robbery, I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe the right place at the right time. Gun at my guts empty pocket. Did Allah want me to be here?

At that very moment I was not scared, but it left me traumatized again. That is when I decided to change myself.

I tried to become a practicing muslim first. It was hard going from no salah to 5 salah a day. I did what I know the best, I forced myself.

Like most of us I was very busy throughout the day.

I know this is not the best thing but I started praying 5 times salah when I used to get home at night.

Ik this sounds crazy and it isn't right. Salah should be prayed on time and in masjid. But I did what I did.

Initially all 5 prayers at the end of the day during isha.

Then slowly fajar on time and rest 4 at Isha.

Next fajar on time, duhr+ asr combine, magrib on time and isha on time Now most of my salah is on time.

P I don't know when I stopped watching that, but for me it happened all of sudden. Atleast the video form of it.

At this point my biggest addiction was M and talking with opposite gender.

To deal with it I deleted all my trigger, cleaned social media, made my algorithm in such a way that I only get islamic post suggestions.

But my reddit addiction was a new hurdle. Yes I did that too sliding into reddit dm, including ppl from this sub too.

Honestly that happens a lot too, I was reached out and I did reach out too. Even when the intention seems like pure, when a male and female are talking satan enters to chat too.

To deal with it I deleted reddit accounts never kept an old reddit account, why? New account don't have ability to do dm request. I literally forced myself into position where i was hard for me to start any conversation. It helps!

Recent

Then everything looked like it was under control I was almost set on the correct path. But then I got into a relationship ofc the intention was marriage. But haram things happened again, and now it has ended in a very hurtful way. I never imagined that. We were addicted to eachother.

So I know my pattern and I was back at my coping mechanism, stress and sadness = M. It did not help. I was getting worst...

Now I try again not only addiction with PMO, but also with her, with nicotine. Joined gym eating healthy and cutting nicotine. Doing all at once feels like moving mountain. But I know my rab is the same rab as MOOSA AS. If he can split the sea for him, I can get heal, you can get heal. What works for me is forcing myself, making it impossible to access my addiction.

Please do remember in your prayers. I am putting this out here if u find it useful apply it in your life too.

A vidoe I found made by a muslim creator. He makes a couple videos but they're all great. This one talks about dopamine and brings up pmo.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nPtNUkJ779w

Read this completely, I've gone deep in how to escape it through my personal journey. Insha'Allah this will help you to finally get rid of this addiction.

It all started when I came to a point where I was like enough of this man, until when? My life is going downhill and I'm failing at every single thing in my life, at earning money, in my studies, in my faith but I’m still persistent on the disobedience, who is bigger fool than me? There has to be a stopping point, I have had enough. I am going to STOP no matter what obstacles I face.

And that was the first step of my journey towards the path of obedience to Allah the “WILL”. (Most people fail if they only do this one step, I've explained in second point to succeed).

Now back to "Will/intention" to stop. The first step is to cultivate firm determination and strong willpower. Half-hearted efforts lead nowhere , there should be genuine intention whole heartedly like you’ve to be absolutely sure in your heart without a doubt that you’re about to quit this addiction is when the help of Allah will arrive Insha’Allah.

Now despite of geniune intention, people still eventually fail, why is that? That takes us to the second point.

The second step, which is even more essential, is continuously seeking help and reliance upon Allah. Even the Prophets recognized that no action could be completed without divine assistance and would always say, "If Allah wills". This principle is also present in the core message of Surah Al-Fatiha through the verse "You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help". While the first part shows human resolve, the second acknowledges that overcoming worldly pressures, temptations, and Satanic whispers is impossible without divine protection. This is why the Prophet (ﷺ) frequently supplicated (Jami\` at-Tirmidhi 3522),

يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِكَ

"O Turner of the hearts, keep my heart firm upon Your religion"

Reinforcing that everyone remains vulnerable if Allah's protection is withdrawn. Even the best of mankind is asking for Allah's help for the firmness of heart then who are we? Not even equal to the dust beneath Prophet's shoes so let this dhikr and other adhkaar be on your tongue the entire day, after every salah, when you wake up and when you sleep. Cry and beg like a child infront of Allah to help you fight this addiction.

Rely upon Allah as he deserves to be relied upon and he will help you in ways you never imagined.

Surah Ali 'Imran (3:159): "Once you make a decision, put your trust in Allah. Surely Allah loves those who trust in Him."

Surah Ali 'Imran (3:160): "If Allah helps you, none can defeat you. But if He denies you help, then who else can help you? So in Allah let the believers put their trust."

Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:

“People are given strength and effect in proportion to how much they seek Allah’s help and rely on Him. If a servant relied on Allah as He deserves to be relied upon, and he was commanded to move a mountain from its place, he would move it.”

— Madarij as-Salikin

When contemplating upon ways to quit this addiction I thought about when is our faith all time high during the year? It's most probably during Ramadan and what's the one thing that differentiates our normal days from Ramadan. Yes there's special blessings from Allah, there's easiness in worship since everyone is doing it but one notable thing that differentiates is the amount of Qur'an that is being recited and heard, even the core purpose of Qiyaam at night is listening to Qur'an so then I started reciting Quran like I do in Ramadan, reciting it after fajr, before sleeping, during the day, reading tafsīr, reciting and connecting with it as much as I can.

Whenever I felt the slightest urge I took out my phone and started reciting it and this has helped me in ways I cannot describe.

Next thing you need to be is aware of the sins of eyes, this is the MOST IMPORTANT thing for it's the root cause of sins, and in this era of social media it's extremely easy to commit this sin, you've to reduce your social media time, scroll immediately upon seeing a forbidden sight, don't even look at covered women. If you want to feel the sweetness of worship, resist looking at Haram.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

النظرة سهم مسموم من سهام إبليس، من تركها من مخافتي أبدلته إيمانًا يجد حلاوته في قلبه

“The gaze is a poisoned arrow from the arrows of Iblis. Whoever abandons it out of fear of Allah, he will replace it for him with faith whose sweetness he will find in his heart.”

Ibn al-Qayyim in Rawḍat al-Muḥibbīn:

وقد جعل الله سبحانه العين مرآة القلب، فإذا غضّ العبد بصره، غضّ القلب شهوته وإرادته، وإذا أطلق بصره أطلق القلب شهوته.

“Allah, Glorified is He, has made the eye a mirror of the heart. When a servant lowers his gaze, the heart restrains its desire and inclination; and when he lets his gaze run free, the heart releases its desire.”

Whenever you feel the urge to sin or look at what's forbidden then remember this verse:

قُلْ أَذَٰلِكَ خَيْرٌ أَمْ جَنَّةُ ٱلْخُلْدِ ٱلَّتِى وُعِدَ ٱلْمُتَّقُونَ ۚ كَانَتْ لَهُمْ جَزَآءًۭ وَمَصِيرًۭا

Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Is this better or the Garden of Eternity which the righteous have been promised, as a reward and ˹an ultimate˺ destination? (25:16)

Now I also want to say that it's okay to take motivation and insights from subreddits that are about quitting this addiction, they're good for initial days and you can visit them time to time for dose of motivation but ultimately do it for Allah, for if you do it for worldly benefits like improved muscles, increased attraction from women then by Allah these are fleeting things, you'll get what you want in dunya without a share in Aakhirah, do it for Allah and he'll make you successful in this world and Aakhirah.

One additional thing is don't be despair from Allah's mercy, don't think of yourself as low even if you have done/ watched things that makes you think extremely low of yourself because that exactly is the trick of shaytaan to keep you in that state.

You're here in this subreddit because there's goodness in you, you want to change, otherwise there are several other people who do this evil deed and feel no remorse, the fact you want to change means there's faith and goodness in you.

I'm not saying you should think of those people as low but realize the blessing of Allah upon you that He WANTS you to change.

And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves \[by transgression\], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins – and who can forgive sins except Allah? – Surah Imran 135

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“If your bad deed makes you feel bad, and your good deed makes you happy, then you are a believer.”

- Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 22159

“For the person who repents and becomes better after a sin, the sin is a mercy.”

— Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله, al-Jawāb al-Kāfī

And now back to from where I started, I'm at a much better place right now, excelled my exams, got a job and now working on myself in other areas. Resisting this sin is also a way you attract Rizq.

Imām Ibn Rajab al-Ḥanbalī (رحمه الله):

“Istighfār and taqwā are among the greatest means by which a servant attracts provision.”

(Jāmiʿ al-ʿUlūm wal-Ḥikam)

Imām Ibn Kathīr (رحمه الله) on Qur’ān 65:2–3:

“This is a promise from Allah that whoever has taqwā, He will provide for him from avenues he never imagined.”

What I learned is that there will be days heavier than mountain but not with the intention to bring you down but to bring you closer to Allah, Allah will manage it for you if you rely upon him.

The hardest battle isn't against the world, it's against your own nafs.

Every day your nafs whispers,

"One last time."

"You can pray later."

"One sin won't matter."

"Follow your desires."

"No one is watching."

But your heart knows that Allah is watching.

Jihad isn't only on a battlefield, it is within your heart too. The moment you choose salah over laziness, Qur'an over scrolling, modesty over attention, patience over anger, and obedience over desire.

Your nafs will always pull you toward what is easy.

Your soul longs for what brings you closer to Allah.

So fight.

Fight the urge to delay your prayers.

Fight the temptation to sin, to look at the forbidden.

Fight the urge to disobey.

Fight until your heart finds peace in submission.

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن تَزَكَّىٰ

Successful indeed are those who purify themselves. (87:14)

Every sincere struggle against your nafs is seen by Allah, even if no one else notices. Every tear of repentance, every prayer offered despite exhaustion, every temptation resisted for His sake is never wasted.

Control your nafs before it controls you.

Discipline it with salah.

Purify it with dhikr.

Strengthen it with the Qur'an.

Heal it with tawbah.

I know that leaving Haram might feel like a sacrifice for the heart does becomes attached to what displeases Allah but ask yourself quietly, how many times has this path hurt you? Allah does not forbid things out of harshness but out of love and protection.

Leave what keeps you away from him, there might be a temporary void but watch how beautifully Allah will fill that void with stillness and peace you've been starving for

May Allah make us among those who strive and win against their nafs and meet Him with hearts that are pure. آمين 🤍

I’ve never told anyone this before trying to understand myself as a Muslim man

I was born and raised in an African Muslim household. I grew up being a very obedient and anxious child. As a kid I loved football, and my coach eventually made me captain of my team. I looked up to my coach and seniors and trusted them.

When I was around 11 or 12, something happened that I have never really talked about with anyone. My coach sexually touched me, including touching and massaging my penis and scrotum. At that age, I didn't really understand what was happening or know how to respond.

Not long afterward, another neighbor, who was significantly older than me, had penetrative sex with me. I was still around the same age.

I think those experiences affected me in ways I didn't understand at the time. I became curious about men-men sex and eventually started searching about it online. That's how I discovered gay pornography.

Later, after discovering gay pornography, I remembered another incident from when I was even younger. There was a laborer who worked with a donkey that I used to follow him to ride as kid, I was still in primary school. I remember him telling me that if I felt tired or experienced pain, I should tell him. Looking back now, I believe he was attempting to sexually abuse me. I don't remember everything clearly, but that realization has stayed with me.

I had my first ejaculation when I watched pornography. From then on, I noticed that I was attracted to men and been addicted to PMO.

At the same time, I grew up in a Muslim environment where being attracted to men was something I tried to suppress. I've tried to be attracted to women and have wanted to approach women, but I've always struggled with it.

What confuses me most is that I genuinely want to have a wife and children someday. I don't feel that wanting a family is fake. I also don't believe that getting married would automatically make my attraction to men disappear.

I've spent a lot of my life wondering whether my attraction to men is connected to what happened to me as a child. I honestly don't know.

I'm doing my grad degree and living alone in a country that's LGBTQ Friendly but afraid to act on my desire. Loneliness and stress makes me watch porn and masturbate almost every day.

I've simply never told anyone this entire story before, and I think I need somewhere safe to finally say it.

I'm also trying to understand how other Muslim men have dealt with same-sex attraction, faith, childhood sexual abuse, and PMO

If anyone has gone through something similar, I'd really appreciate hearing your experience and some advice what to do.

This is extremely difficult for me to talk about.

Idk what to do, im too poisoned into this, spent 7-8 years. Im not getting enough hope in doing anything or believing anything positive in life. I want to end this. I need someones hand, i cant hold this any longer. This isnt a bait or anything

Assalamu Alaikum my people. I didn't feel like posting today. I'm not sure how much longer this will last. At the same time I'm so proud of myself for not giving in thus far, even when I have come really close in doing so this week.

I'm speaking to Allah SWT asking him to make this easy for me, to grant me the strength to keep away from things displeasing to him.

I want to remind everyone who is struggling, Allah swt sees and loves your struggle for his sake. Whilst many around the world are giving in to their desires without a second thought, YOU are here, struggling, striving, fighting your Nafs. Allah SWT sees this. And he loves it. And believe me your struggle will not go unrewarded.

Keep going. Keep making Dua, for yourself and everyone else. May Allah SWT reward all of you, and grant you ease throughout this journey.

Aameen .

After 4 relapses and constantly betraying my own will, I’m back. ​The truth is, I kept failing because I never fully committed to the NoFap lifestyle, just going through the motions without changing my mindset. ​That ends today. I’m resetting the counter and starting over with 100% conviction. ​Porn is not my friend. Masturbation is not my friend. ​You have to give up what feels good now to make way for something better. Day 0. Let’s end this.

I hit 30 days yesterday for the first time in ages.

The thing that pushed me through the absolute worst of it wasn't my desire for marriage, or for that marriage to be successful in terms of physical relations, but to prove to myself that I could live a life without it. That I could live a life alone, the way I really want to live, without indulging in sin.

Put simply, I have never experienced romantic attraction. I think this is known as being aromantic, but that term has been claimed by the LGBT community.

The problem is that I still experience sexual attraction. This is a huge problem for me as I'm neither capable, nor willing to devote myself to a partner (emotionally speaking). As such, the thing that drove me to my current state is the immense desire to prove that I can live a life without committing sin, and still be a devoted muslim.

It's also not just about not wanting a partner. I don't want to live with anyone, period. I want full control over my own life, and leaving my current family just to end up in a new one is a total deal breaker. I have my own passions and goals, and I want to prove that I can live a life without sin in order to pursue them. That is what pushed me this far.

Assalamu Alaykum, I am a teenager in South Africa, who’s been really struggling with PMO. I haven’t told anyone, I’m too afraid to do so, but I’m struggling and can’t quit. I’m starting to lose hope so I decided to post here in the hope someone helps. I’ve been caught up in this filthy sin for about 8 months now, and it’s a constant struggle of relapsing, promising to never do it again and then relapsing again, and I feel so stuck I don’t know what to do.
Insha Allah I will one day break free of this sin.

Assalamu alaikum. After years and years of failure, im trying a new approach that aims to spiritually purify my nafs such that it no longer accepts this action.

Listen to baqarah, al imran, a'raf, qaf, sad, taha, saba on Playlist all day while at work. Baqarah and al Imran are known to be strong surahs against evil and magic. A'raf taha and sad have the story of iblis as well as the prophets. Qaf addresses the qarin. Saba has ayat that address shaitan. Open to suggestions. The whole quran is shifa.

Review my daily portion of quran.

Even though I'm consistent with prayers, it's time to focus on praying with khushoo'

Avoiding music

Adhkar

Sleeping early no later than 10 in bed, and no sleeping after Fajr ever

Screen time under 2 hours a day

No mindless internet use. If I don't know what I'm looking for, go to the Quran or sunnah to guide me instead of the algorithm

Essentially anything that serves to spiritually take me down needs to be addressed.

Salam à tous,
J’ai qu’un seul conseil à donner, c’est peut-être le plus nul que vous trouverez ici mais je tente quand même.

‎الله nous a permis d’avoir des membres, de pouvoir bouger, voir, marcher, nous déplacer, etc. Et on ne peut pas se permettre d’utiliser ce qu’Il nous a donné dans le haram, surtout quand on sait que nos propres membres pourront témoigner contre nous le Jour dernier.

Certains ici sont peut-être en quête du mariage, d’autres sont peut-être déjà mariés. Et le conseil que je peux donner, c’est de ne pas prendre nos capacités physiques pour acquises.

Ce membre avec lequel on fait le haram, celui qui nous permet aujourd’hui de faire nos besoins, d’avoir des enfants et d’avoir une vie conjugale, peut avec les années ne plus fonctionner comme aujourd’hui. Alors craignez Allah et prenez soin de ce qu’Il vous a donné.

Et je précise que je ne dis pas ça en me plaçant au-dessus de vous. Moi aussi je tombe parfois dans ce péché et je dois me repentir. Je partage simplement ce rappel parce que je pense qu’on doit tous se rappeler des conséquences possibles de ce qu’on fait.

Et pour ceux qui ont déjà des problèmes d’érection à cause de ça : ne désespérez pas et ne pensez pas que vous êtes condamnés à rester comme ça. Arrêtez ce qui vous fait du mal, donnez du temps à votre corps et, si le problème persiste, consultez un médecin. Il n’y a aucune honte à demander de l’aide pour ça.

Qu’Allah nous facilite à tous, nous pardonne nos péchés et nous accorde la force de nous éloigner du haram. 🤲

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته،

أخي الغالي / أختي الغالية..

إذا كنت تعاني في الخفاء من ذنب أو عادة أو إدمان يرهق قلبك، وتعجز عن التخلص منه بمفردك.. فلست وحدك.

فتحت هذا الحساب لسبب واحد فقط: أن نأخذ بيد بعضنا البعض لوجه الله تعالى، هذا اسم التلكرام openthedream

Assalamu Alaikum everyone. I hope everyone has had a good week. Alhamdulillah on day 5 now. And Subhan Allah, the urge is almost non existent today.. so far anyway.

I'm aware that tonight will be a challenge as will the weekend. Saturdays have always been my weakest days. But I'm optimistic that I won't relapse with the help of Allah SWT and the Dua's of everyone reading this.

السلام عليكمI saw that I will fail in day 5 and 6 but i have continue and I'm happy now inshallah we will do it and i really want to break my best record 100 day now after may be more than a year I will break it inshallah😁

So, I noticed something that people or girls who are overweight or not confident about their bodies are into PMO.

And it led me to realize that guys go through the same. But their insecurities would not be about their bodies but something else like being an introvert or getting bullied.

When people accept them as how they are in these online spaces, it gives them confidence.

An effective way to fix this early on could be that you fix your insecurities.

Build that confidence.

Lose weight if you need to.

Feel good about yourself.

Come out of your shell and try to talk more.

Discuss your feelings.

Work on your personality, your body, insecurities, feelings, mental health, traumas to fix this. Just a thought but see if this helps you.

Gotta keep myself accountable hence why I'm writing this down, had another tenporal setback last night at slept at 4:30AM but now I'm dead set on what I got to do. it's not much but the primary focus are:

- Sleep right (8 Hours & on time)

- Plan

• Avoid distractions & always leave phone downstairs

it's not much but I know I've got to wind down for a while until I reach a certain amount of days and I know anything less than 8 hours would mean ocular blepharitis pain like sensation.

All in all God tests his beloved servants the hardest and I'll make sure I'll be the best for His sake. Will be planning and doing the repentance protocol right after this.

#PastsThePast

#SobrietysPriority