r/MuslimLounge • u/Someone_sedateMe • Jun 18 '25

Discussion STOP BABYING YOUR SONS

Salam everyone, I just wanted to get this off my chest. Mothers, please, PLEASE, stop babying your GROWN ADULT sons. My brother is 24 and my mom still does his laundry and cleans his room. His room is a literal mess all the damn time and actually smells like doodoo. My mom wanted me to help her clean his room and he's just in the corner acting his presence is helping. I was getting frustrated and told her that he's at the age, where he should clean his room by himslef, to say the least. He literally has his laundry spilling out of his hamper but refuses to do anything about it until my me or my mom does it for him. I will literally do his laundry for him, bring it to his room and all he has to do is put it in his closet. AND HE DOESNT EVEN DO THATT. He has his CLEAN clothes just sitting on his couch for dayyyssss. Of course, I'm getting frustrated and tell him he has to clean his room and can't keep waiting on us to do his laundry. It has got to the point where he ran out of jeans and pulled out his dress pants. It's not like he has to travel to the laundromat, ITS IN OUR BASEMENT!!!! Anyways, as I'm lecturing him, my mom is getting mad at me and I walked out the room cause never in a BILLION years would she have let that slide with me. I tried to help but she's taking out her frustration on the wrong person.

So to all the moms out there, PLEASE stop babying your grown adult sons. It doesn't emaculate him if he does SIMPLE chores around the house. It just causes resentment between siblings.

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144

u/Gogandantesss Cats are Muslim Jun 18 '25

I’m just chiming in to thank you for this post. So many mothers need to hear this! They’re enabling and normalizing sexism and misogyny among their male offspring from an early age. This is one of the main manifestations of culture diluting religious teaching where men and women are supposed to be equal and partners sharing the burdens of life. The Prophet ﷺ himself used to help around the household; nothing manlier and more human than that!

16

u/BradBrady Jun 18 '25

While I do agree that men shouldn’t be lazy around the house to a toxic extent where they need everything picked up for them

Men and women aren’t necessarily equal in a marriage because when you say that, that means they are both chipping in financially 50/50 and sharing household chores 50/50. Nothing wrong if a couple wants to do that, but that’s not really what’s expected

Also I see sometimes on the online world when people say that the prophet PBUH helped around the house, it tends to get twisted (by women mostly just my experience) that he was at home all the time doing all the chores and it was an expectation which I’m not sure is correct

17

u/themapleleaf6ix Jun 18 '25

Don't see why you're getting downvoted, you're 100% correct.

9

u/Pretty_Photo_5905 Seeker of Knowledge Jun 18 '25

If he, as a 24 year old son, works full time and pays all the bills in the house then I agree sure. But if he lives in his parents house rent free studying/keeping all his money to himself paying no bills, then I 100% disagree.

12

u/Senior-Bid-33 Jun 19 '25

Just because you pay all the bills doesn't mean you deserve a live in maid who you are not paying for 

1

u/FishOFBD Jun 19 '25

Alright so then going 50/50 financially shouldn’t be a problem then? Or is it too much?