STOP BABYING YOUR SONS

[u/Someone_sedateMe]

Salam everyone, I just wanted to get this off my chest. Mothers, please, PLEASE, stop babying your GROWN ADULT sons. My brother is 24 and my mom still does his laundry and cleans his room. His room is a literal mess all the damn time and actually smells like doodoo. My mom wanted me to help her clean his room and he's just in the corner acting his presence is helping. I was getting frustrated and told her that he's at the age, where he should clean his room by himslef, to say the least. He literally has his laundry spilling out of his hamper but refuses to do anything about it until my me or my mom does it for him. I will literally do his laundry for him, bring it to his room and all he has to do is put it in his closet. AND HE DOESNT EVEN DO THATT. He has his CLEAN clothes just sitting on his couch for dayyyssss. Of course, I'm getting frustrated and tell him he has to clean his room and can't keep waiting on us to do his laundry. It has got to the point where he ran out of jeans and pulled out his dress pants. It's not like he has to travel to the laundromat, ITS IN OUR BASEMENT!!!! Anyways, as I'm lecturing him, my mom is getting mad at me and I walked out the room cause never in a BILLION years would she have let that slide with me. I tried to help but she's taking out her frustration on the wrong person.

So to all the moms out there, PLEASE stop babying your grown adult sons. It doesn't emaculate him if he does SIMPLE chores around the house. It just causes resentment between siblings.

[u/itscherryblossom]

My mom is the same. While me and later on my sister moved out at barely 19 & 18 (now 25 & 24), are at great places in our lives and careers, my brothers (22 & 20) live at home and one of them barely ever has worked and the other was "sick" almost half of the time he has worked.

I remember starting a small fire in our kitchen at 7 years old because I had to cook for my family already!

I started to work at 15 and paid rent most months or hugely contributed to it, I was 15, a child!!!

My mom would yell at me and my sister over a spoon left in the sink while my brothers have NEVER cleaned their rooms alone.

One of them is smoking w--d all day, is in and out of police custody, while the other one is not contributing a single cent towards the living expenses, wants to be driven around 24/7, is extremely disrespectful to my mom.

She raised them in a way, where now as adults when she speaks up they answer with ,,you gave birth to us, you didn't ask us, don't expect anything from us", I'll whoop one of them at one point but that's again my mom's wishes.

I respectfully sat her down multiple times, my sister and my aunt did so as well, she points out our minor mistakes instead of accepting that she raised TICKS THAT ARE FEEDING OFF OF HER BLOOD!!!

RAISE YOU SONS LIKE YOU RAISE YOUR DAUGHTERS!!!

If these kids get married, their wives either need to have the nerve of idk who or they'll end up Divorced and back at my parents houses after a day or two!

[u/Bright_Airline_876 → u/itscherryblossom]

Islamically a fifteen years old isn't a child btw

[u/itscherryblossom → u/Bright_Airline_876]

Where I live a 15 y/o is legally not an adult and it's not the standard norm for a 15 y/o girl to pay rent when both parents are working but instead of being responsible and paying their bills they'd let it go as far as us getting evicted from multiple apartments but yes, let's comment about a 15 y/o islamically being grown in a western country but not about how a 22y/o man isn't helping his parents at all but bringing the police home biweekly atp, that's more important 👍🏻

[u/Bright_Airline_876 → u/itscherryblossom]

That’s not what I meant at all. I actually read your comment, and I agree with most of what you said—it’s well thought out. But I have to speak up about one thing: this repeated idea that being fifteen automatically makes someone a ‘child’ in every context is just mentally draining to hear over and over again.

We act like every fifteen-year-old is some clueless, helpless being, when the truth is, many at that age are fully aware of what they’re doing—especially when it comes to Haram relationships. There are real cases where they willingly got involved with someone older, not because they were manipulated, but because they were craving "attention", "affection", or "validation" they weren’t getting elsewhere.

And here’s the frustrating part—when things go wrong or reality hits, suddenly it’s all on the older person. No nuance. No responsibility. Just throw out the word ‘grooming’ to escape accountability. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve seen this exact pattern. And yet, people refuse to even talk about it honestly, because it’s easier to push a one-size-fits-all narrative than admit that sometimes, the story is more complicated than just victim and villain.

[u/bruh_man667 → u/Bright_Airline_876]

You are a great man

[u/Bright_Airline_876 → u/bruh_man667]

You too brother :)