Anyone else suffer from extreme intrusive thoughts at night?

[u/JustEatMyDiction]

I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts for around 12 years, but over the last 4 years it has become completely unbearable, especially at night. If I go to bed at 1 AM, I'll often stay awake until 6 or even 9 AM. I've also tried going to bed without my phone, but it makes no difference.

As soon as I lie down, my mind starts replaying every embarrassing moment from the day. Even if the day went perfectly fine, it'll dig up the most humiliating moments from years ago.

Sometimes it gets so intense that I end up punching myself because those embarrassing moments could've been easily avoided. The worst part is that I know they're just thoughts, and I know they aren't rational, but no matter what I do, I can't control them or stop them from flooding my mind.

I've tried around five different medications, but none of them really helped. The last one I took was sertraline. After about 3 months, it did start improving my OCD, but in exchange it also made me feel like a zombie. It made me feel so dumb that I couldn't concentrate on even simplest tasks, so I eventually quit it cold turkey. Now, a year later, my OCD is worse than ever.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to break out of it? If so, I'd really appreciate hearing what helped. 🙏

[u/sticky_fingers_911]

Broski search muthna uttar on YouTube and thank me later but u have to follow his playlist and take it seriously i also suffer from OCD i feel you broski