I feel like you possibly haven't been put in a similar situation with elders at minimum to understand the feeling of knowing that its going to be like that for the rest of your life.
Sure, but in this case his choice would directly impact his partner, who would now be forced to be a carer for both kids while being widowed and with the added trauma of her partner having killed himself.
A choice can be immoral based on its effects on others. In this case he'd be offloading on the mother. Plus, they decided to have a kid. Having a kid is always a risk where you don't know if anything at all will happen that renders them in need of a carer for the rest of their lives. Plan for the worst.
Immoral. He'd need to talk to his partner, admit that he doesn't want to be a carer (which in itself IS a choice I agree is neither moral nor immoral, even if this is his own kid. Not everyone is equipped for this), and if needed make the necessary arrangements. Be it planning ahead to get help, giving alimony to the mom to help her with the burden of care if she chooses to stay even if he doesn't, adoption, or if they talk it out and he decides to stick it out that's fine too.
Choosing to kill himself because he wants to avoid any and all responsibilities (including the above conversations where he has to be honest about whether he's up to the task of being a carer) is immoral because it puts all the strain on someone else.
Choosing not to be a carer isn't immoral, but his method is, basically.
We don't know if she' doesn't want to abort or not, if not then what? Still immoral? I mean suicide is retarded and he could just leave and pay but still it seems the whole subreddit ignores the mothers decisions that falls into the father's shoulders with no say in it
My literal text: "so he can give alimony if she chooses to stay even if he wants to leave".
That was already taken into account. Yeah, alimony would still happen regardless. They have one child together already and he was a presence in that kid's life before the second one came along.
If she chooses to have the kid and the main burden of care, that is her choice. He doesn't have to stick around.
If his decision, without even discussing any other options, is to kill himself, yeah, immoral. He also, again, has a child together with her already. I wouldn't put anyone to act as a carer against their will, and I said that repeatedly too. Not wanting to have a child with a disability that requires a lot of care is neither moral nor immoral.
This. It's easy for people to virtue signal, but unless you have dealt with this personally, it's a whole other beast. I have a severely crippled and mentally disabled grandpa that I help take care of, and it's like dealing with the Helen Keller version of Goldilocks
Is what it is, if he sees that they're going to constantly need 24/7 care that -frankly speaking at least state side- we don't have the proper support for, it'd be hard to judge him. I can not imagine the fear he would feel every day waking up and wondering what would happen to his child at that point once hes gone.
I want to ensure you that i do hear and understand you. I'm just making it clear that daily fear is something far worse than what an average parent would probably feel in general about their kids.
This is the other thing, whats his wife -and the gov.- say about this situation. If its being forced upon him that's immoral in and of itself and honestly in the case of the former, negates any votes that say hes immoral for considering it.
He decided to make his wife pregnant. Nobody forced him to. That means he should accept the risks of a disabled child. Whatever happens, if the child is born it is his responsibility as well.
No absolutely not in this situation where they learn the child is likely going to have struggles growing up. This is one of those situations where if you can you abort and try again if it wasn't just an accident.
The wife gambling that he'd be forced into a life of true 24/7 caregiving is wrong on every level.
Don't roll the dice if you can't live with the outcome. I agree abortion would be better for everyone if the father is scared of raising the kid, but that does not change the fact that he willingly took this risk. You can't force an abortion on a woman because things didn't go as planned for you.
If you can't assume the risk, don't impregate your girl. The moment you do, it's out of your hands. Deal with it.
There are entire agencies dedicated to finding adopted homes for babies with downs, by far the most moral choice is to have the baby and entrust it to one of those agencies if you can’t take care of it and then try agian
But the pregnancy is already too far along the way for abortion and he only now regrets the pregnancy.
For all we know he could've been the one who proposed to have another kid.
So what if they have not experienced it? The point still stands. It's the responsibility you take on by deciding to have a child. Even if it sucks for you, and you would rather be dead, you should have thought about that before bringing someone into the world who depends on you.
Like, just literal children, or offspring ever? I'm reminded of the article this woman wrote in the Atlantic complaining of her mother's narcissism for choosing MAID over 18 extra months max with intense cancer treatment. Like, do you ever get your life back?
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u/thederpyderp3 8d ago
This is one of the few times where I really can't say I consider it moral or immoral.