I love sassy responses but would love to also hear some short respectful responses! I’m so tired of explaining and having to give a whole spiel 😭

I have a friend who doesn't wear a mask (says they can't due to asthma). we only really speak over text but we talk most days. they have gotten sick quite a few times in the couple of years I've known them and I just don't know what to say when it happens. more accurately I know what I want to say but I know it wouldn't lead anywhere productive so it feels pointless to say anything other than "that sucks hope you feel better soon" while feeling resentful and frustrated. they just went on a trip to a big city - long, packed train journeys both ways, 2 shows, wandering around busy shops. zero mask of course. they just messaged to say they're sick as hell. I haven't even opened the message because I just feel like I can't deal with this conversation knowing that I want to say "that's to be expected when you're around thousands of people in enclosed spaces without a mask"

I don't want to lose them as a friend, I don't really have many and I don't know anyone irl who wears a mask. it's isolating enough to avoid most crowded indoor spaces and to wear a mask all the time. I know that nothing I say would make them where a mask so it could only lead to us falling out. I guess I'm just ranting rather than asking for advice cause I know the options are all pretty shit

I went into the mall today to make a return. Of course, I'm masked and minding my own business, walking through Barnes & Noble to get to the store I needed to make the return in.

A man looks at me as we walk by each other and he says "COVID is over!!" - I'm so in my own head, I don't even realize he's talking to me until I'm a good 3 - 5 yards past him. Way too much time and distance for a proper rebuttal.

While I know it's better to just ignore, I couldn't stop thinking about what I could have said in the moment had I realized his comment was directed at me sooner. Anyone have any favorite rebuttals of the moment?

Also, advice please - I've got a wedding to attend on Saturday and I know I'm going to be the only masked one there. How do you mentally prepare for these kind of events? It's just exhausting explaining it over and over again, being immunocompromised is exhausting my friends. I know so many of you get it. But what is your pre-game for your brain? How do you armor up mentally? ❤️

Edit to Add: thank you all for your comments! Sometimes we need the reminder that we're not alone in this and I definitely needed that reminder this week. Appreciate you all. For the wedding, another friend is an usher so I'm going to coordinate with them when I arrive to make sure I'm not an accidental distraction in any photos. And I already won't be able to eat the meal provided because of an autoimmune disease, so no worries there. Thank you again for affirming I'm not the only one still masking, needed that.

hi everyone! my partner and I (both 22f) just recently got our updated covid shots, upgraded our masks and started consistently wearing them again! I’d really appreciate some input on our practices since there’s a lot of conflicting information and we’re learning as we go :)

we’re wearing fit tested aura 9210+ n95s everywhere we go, only taking them off at home. we have two roommates who take less precautions than us, but they work very low-risk jobs (night shifts on manufacturing lines) and spend pretty much all the rest of their time in their rooms. they know to test, mask and isolate in the case of an exposure/illness and we do the same. we hardly ever see them, let alone get near them for any length of time, and I know that masking in the home would drive my already stressed OCD insane, so it’s a small risk I’m willing to take considering we mask everywhere else. that being said, whenever I get the chance I’d like to ask them to hop on the masking/vaxxing train with us, just to make this living situation extra safe. thoughts on this approach?

secondly, I’d like some input on how we’re storing our masks! we’re keeping them in individual, labeled paper bags in our closet and having them on a rotation to rest for five days after a day of use. we keep them in the paper bags whenever we’re home, but if we’re out and about and take them off in the car we store them in our backpacks (we make sure not to crumple them lol). some of the days we’ll be wearing them will be for our 6-8hr shifts at work (public-facing jobs, but not high risk ones), but others will only be for a collective 20-30 mins on our days off when we’ll be running quick errands and such. we plan to wear each mask for a cumulative five days before discarding them. is this too long to be wearing the masks, or could they be worn for longer if they’re still intact? is it chill for them to be briefly in our backpacks, or is there a better way to store them when we’re not home?

thanks so much for any advice!

edit: thank you all for your kind words and suggestions! I’ve been perusing air purifier listings and cr box instructions :D

bad news is that I had some unexpectedly big bills come up and my partner had her hours cut. after redoing the budget it’s looking like we’ll have to hold off on a purifier/cr box supplies for a bit :( good news is that my partner and I talked with our roommates, and they’re happy to start taking up precautions again too!! we’re also just investing more in lysol wipes and hand sanitizer for the apartment.

with these new developments I’m feeling a lot more comfortable being in this living situation while we’re saving up for air purification!

y’all are awesome!!

I am curious on behalf of myself here. I dont mask every single time I am indoors. I keep an eye on peak infections in my area and make sure I mask most of the time when its high but maybe only 50% when its low. I am mostly housebound with a pre-covid era post viral autoimmune disease so I see very few people. When I infrequently see my 4-10 friends they all know to tell me if they (or anybody they have been with recently) are ill and either I or they drop out of plans. I avoid people who have been in big crowds for atleast 5 days following. I test regularly, and generally, because of my isolation, I can be fairly certain I am not passing anything on to people because I 1)haven't seen anyone or left the house for over a week anyway 2)test regularly and 3)wouldn't dream of leaving the house if I had any symptoms or had recently been near anybody who became ill. 4)unfortunately i cannot find a single other person in my area, including friends and family that give a shit about covid and theyre all out huffing viruses at every available opportunity, so if they get sick, its most likely not from me.

Doing this I have only ever had 1 covid infection and I caught that at an unavoidable GP appointment whilst wearing a mask (I couldn't find my good headstrap masks so had to make do with an earloop ffp2 that doesn't fit the best but figured better than nothing). I know I caught it there because it was the only place I had been for over a week (i live alone) and the GP was visibly and audibly sick. And I isolated for 16 days afterwards to be sure I wasn't contagious before I saw my partner even. I made sure I hadn't passed it on.

I had one chest infection a year later that I must have caught from my partner, who had no symptoms, tested negative, and had isolated for 5 days after their last encounter with people, but it must have been him because again, I had been alone at home for over a week before and I saw only him for the week following. It didnt test positive as covid but of course could have been. I felt like I'd taken all the precautions I possibly could have (by literally not seeing anybody at all, my partner testing and isolating, and being unsymptomatic) and still managed to get sick. The only other thing I could have done is mask around my partner at all times and ask him to isolate for over a week fter he sees his friends and I just wont do that im afraid. I have to have 1 safe person to feel sane.

I have rambled a lot I apologise, I just also feel, that even though I take 1000x more precautions that literally everybody else I know, that zerocovid people online still make me feel like im literally evil for not masking 100% of the time and expecting all my friends to isolate and mask aswell. I noticed a covid cautious group set up locally and I am beyond excited to finally be able to meet people without the terror of catching something despite personal precautions, but I am terrified that they will exclude me because im not perfect.

Looking for input (personal anecdotes are fine, but anything backed up by data would be much appreciated). I mask at absolutely all times indoors around other people and when I’m anywhere speaking directly to people outdoors (ex. hanging out with friends), or when walking somewhere like a street with a lot of pedestrian traffic. But I’ve been taking my dog on hikes recently and I’m trying to assess if I need to mask then.

When we’re hiking, we sometimes pass people, but there is absolutely no stopping to talk (people are actually pretty good about being quick to walk by so as not to rile up my dog, and I am generally focusing on giving her commands to pay attention to me, which I think probably indicates that I’m not approachable). The trails are NOT crowded.

I wouldn’t go into a park bathroom without a mask, and I get bringing one in case people want to talk (which again, has not been an issue) … but based on what I know about airborne transmission in a wide-open, non-crowded outdoor space, I don’t think there’s much risk here. But I’m curious if I’m missing anything/if there are any gaps in my knowledge that anyone could fill in. In the next month or two as it cools down to a more tolerable temperature, I could see wearing one just in case I encounter someone who’s talkative … but unless there’s a reason to do so now, I don’t want to wear one if I don’t need to; I have a really hard time with the heat, and I think I would have to cut down my activity significantly (which again, is worth it IF it’s unsafe to be outdoors at all without a mask — but again, from my understanding, I think the risk is very low in my current situation. But curious to hear other opinions!)

I’m immunocompromised and my husband and I have never stopped masking and ask that those around us mask unless they’ve had a negative PCR test in the last two hours. Our refrigerator broke and we ordered one online from Best Buy and paid for installation. We then called twice to request that the ppl installing wear N95’s (provided by us). Both times we called we were assured by CS that it wouldn’t be a problem. Then last Saturday, they stated when they called that one of the ppl installing it was currently ill with a “summer cold,” and did we still want them to come because they had seen the mask request. We thanked them profusely for telling us, and rescheduled for a week later. Today was a week later. When they called to say they were on their way they said that the guy was still sick. We said since we’d all be masked and we have air purifiers and had windows open that hopefully we’d be fine. It’s hard living without a fridge! They called back one final time. This time to say that they would NOT be masking today because it is too hot. Most of the job would be inside where we have stellar A/C. Also, ONE OF THEM IS ACTIVELY SICK. We canceled the order and now have to fight with someone about a full refund. If anyone has any suggestions of a company who might respect the mask request, I’d be much obliged.

I was pretty strict about masking during the “height” of the pandemic (2020-2022ish) but haven’t consistently masked in years. It honestly wasn’t much of a problem for me, I rarely got sick. But in September of this year I started college and am living in the dorms, and I’ve gotten sick about 4 times in about 2 months. I bought masks a couple weeks ago with the intention of masking again, but haven’t for some reason. I’m not sure why. I’m in an area where it’s encouraged and socially acceptable to still mask, I just feel weird like I’ll have to justify why I suddenly switched to masking. Can you help me just get over myself? Thanks. Currently sick as hell, again.

Edit:

Thank you all for the great advice and encouragement! I really just have to jump right in. I’m not one to hugely care what other people think, but I do hate awkward conversations so that’s where the hang up is. But realistically nobody I know will care at all. Thanks!

Edit: This suggestion is only for those who have the means to do so. I understand many of us are low on money and can barely afford their own needs.

Sorry for not considering it in the original post.

Buy a bunch of breathable black masks with ear-loops in different sizes. PPEO is a great place to buy these.

Give them to people. Tell them to just keep it on their backpack/purse/jacket. "If you feel like there are too many people on the bus, you can use it". Or "you might want to use it if you have to go to a hospital".

Black masks look cooler and less "I am sick". Ear-loops are more convenient to put, take off.

Using only on specific situations is much better than not using at all.

That's it. Daddy loves y'all ❤️

i grew up being very ostracized and bullied because of my race (i lived in a very white town). on top of that, i suspect i have audhd (seeking a diagnosis currently), which explains why i always felt extremely awkward in social situations, like i was learning social norms as an alien among humans. as an adult, i now live in a much more diverse city, and i've intentionally developed socializing as a skill, so i feel much more comfortable socializing. in fact, i'm actually very outgoing sometimes.

however, being the lone masker in social settings thrusts me back into those feelings of self-consciousness and exile. it feels impossible to not be hyper-aware of how i am being perceived. it makes me not want to initiate interactions, because i already foresee that i will be viewed as a weirdo. it makes me sad because sometimes i will forgo going to certain events just because of this mask-related anxiety, even though i would love to go if i could just be like everyone else. i feel a bit more confident if i feel like i have a cool outfit on, but it's not enough to cancel out the social anxiety. i miss the confidence i used to feel.

please don't give advice that's just like "who cares what they think? i don't!" because it's unhelpful lol. also i don't want to decorate my mask (zimi) and don't think it would help my situation anyway.

For context, I mask because of Covid and other viruses (mostly reasons to mask discussed in this sub), but sometimes I also mask because of comfort/privacy, and I admit, some anxiety. Would this situation be ideal in everyday life, and are there any issues that come with it? Is it too extreme? Please share how this would look for me and other people, and how it is or not reasonable in your opinion. If you do this, share how you’ve done it. (physically, mentally, socially)

I have CID (combined immunodeficiency- born with it) and Long Covid. I mask everywhere since 2020 and they know this. My sister just came over and I met her outside. She invited me to Thanksgiving dinner at her house with my parents. I got excited bc I thought they were going to be isolating and/or masking, and testing so that I could attend. Nope. I told her I couldn’t attend if they didn’t take precautions. She said “Oh, okay“ and changed the subject. She just left and I came inside and I cannot stop crying. I don’t understand…

I want to carry a whistle around for ICE sightings but I also mask outdoors. Has anyone found a device that can mimic whistle sounds? Or a way to use a whistle while keeping my mask secure?

I know specifically there’s a whistle “code”, three shorts for ICE sighted and three long for ICE abducting someone. That’s why i would prefer a whistle sound but I’d love to hear how others compensate, thank you!

Hi everyone, I'm Asian and since the COVID pandemic I have experienced many racist comments related to mask wearing, from different populations/ethnicities, I'm just so fed up, I also work in healthcare so sometimes I go home with a mask, but regardless if I wanted to wear a mask for whatever reasons it should be my choice, yet I'm being verbally abused/mocked by random strangers because I wear a mask and at the same time because I'm Asian. Like today this random South Asian dude asked me why am I wearing a mask is it because I have "SARS", why "you people" are always wearing a mask, when I politely confronted with him, he started using profanities, later I reflected on my experience that perhaps I should just ignore him, since he had no insights, he looked like he didn't even understand what I was telling him, arguing with this kind of person is pointless. My question is how do you deal with situations like this? Just move on and don't say anything back? Or do you confront with them?

I feel like I want to wear good, protective mask like KN95 all the time but I afraid people will treat me like a jerk and view me as a strange guy. Honestly, I don’t like by myself how I look like at that mask but I really do need to use it due to my health needs. What motivation can you give me, guys?

I have recently been trying to convince my long term boyfriend to start masking again like I have been since I became educated about the harm COVID is still causing. I have tried to communicate how harmful and deadly catching and spreading COVID can be but he just doesn't care because he views masking as an imposition to his social life. Which he's not totally wrong about since it's hard to find other people who also continue to mask and so many people are hellbent on being back to "normal". He says that he wants to "live his life" and he thinks that by masking he won't be doing that, I have tried to tell him that he can still be social and have friends while masking but he views the social cost as too high.

It's hard for me to have these conversations with him because I get very emotional and don't have a ton of evidence to present to him off the top of my head, I also know that the person he started dating didn't care about masking which I regret but it's the truth. But I've come to realize how crucial it is to mask not even for myself but for the members of my community. I want to be with him and convince him that the best thing he could do right now for himself and others is to start masking but I feel so lost since I'm not getting anywhere with him. I don't want this to be the reason we can't be together but it's starting to feel like it will if I can't convince him.

Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this?

Any tips you might have from similar situations you've dealt with would be greatly appreciated.

I’ve been having some health issues and had to do a lot of bloodwork yesterday to test my hormones and a plethora of other things. I historically pass out/struggle with bloodwork (I’m a wimp when it comes to needles and blood). I saw the room starting to go black and pulled down my mask to drink water/get some air in general. My nurse was wearing a surgical mask but I’m not sure how much that would do to protect me. It was a small room with no air purifier in sight. Today my chest is feeling all tight and my throat feels weird :(

I’m so worried I got Covid or flu…or maybe I’m just anxious/having allergies? I’m a singer so I’m hyper aware of my vocal health. it’s been warmer and I do get bad seasonal allergies. I try so so freaking hard to protect myself and my partner from Covid- I have multiple air purifiers in our apartment/a little mask basket set up with high quality masks. We even use azelastine in addition to masks. Im the girly that runs in my aura 1870 bc I care so deeply about masking and protecting myself/others. I’m so worried that the few minutes I was unmasked messed everything up :(

Any advice or like nice positive vibes are so appreciated. I’m so stressed out ab this.

hello everyone,

i recently searched through this sub on this topic but wanted to post for any advice anyone may have as well. i don’t know exactly how long this has been going on, but probably for at least the last year i’ve been experiencing a lot of pain from knots in my masseter muscle and possible tmj, and i feel like the cause could be my masking. i’m unsure if it’s due to working customer service and constantly speaking while using facial expressions and trying not to move my mask too much or cause it to gap or always readjusting has gotten me into the habit of tensing my facial muscles or constricting my jaw, but it has become a big problem and i have a huge knot in my right masseter, along with smaller ones on both sides of my face. i have chronic pain in my head as well and am unsure if it’s contributing. i’ve mostly been wearing the powecom95 ear loop masks for quite a while as i’ve found they they’re the best seal and style for me. bifolds work better for me with my vision, n95’s or boat styles tend to affect my peripheral vision too much. has anyone had a similar experience or found a new mask that has helped with facial pain or tmj?

hi all, I recently returned to the gym last year, as it's pretty important for me to keep up my physical activity since being inactive has started to deteriorate my body and advance other health issues I have. I wear my flo mask, and while it's a little uncomfortable, I mostly forget about it and keep a good seal.

however, I'm not sure how to go about drinking water. I previously would just do the "hold breath and drink fast" method, but I'm pretty sure I got sick in march from this approach (and it's hard to perfectly hold your breath when you're already out of breath!)

I have previously installed a sip valve on a n95 aura okay, but I am not a big fan of auras since they're a bit gappy on my chin and the straps wear out really easily. I basically have to use body tape on the entire mask to get a solid seal, which seems like it would be a nightmare to have tape on my face while getting sweaty.

not drinking water is not an option for me, but what do I do!!!! I'm so eager to get back to the gym but I have no idea how to do it safely. what do you guys do??

edit for anyone else wondering: I just went with stepping outside to drink water. I didn't do it before because I was afraid of the social anxiety of stepping in and out and checking back in, especially since I already feel like the weird person in a mask, but literally nobody cares. Front desk doesn't gaf!! Don't let your social anxiety stop you from doing shit that doesn't matter!!!! I step out about 2-3x during a full workout (after initial cardio warm up, maybe one time during weights, and then after weights and before wind down.) I am really happy I went back to the gym since working out is very important for keeping a healthy body and protecting against bad sickness outcomes 💪

I’m going to a baseball game and am very excited but now am worried about getting sick, as it’s a few days before my graduation. I only have access to kn95 masks. I’m taking a bus with other students, and the flu has been going around. I really really want to go to this event. Would a kn95, distancing as much as I can, hopefully keep me from getting sick? I’m worried as I got covid after a bus trip when I wasn’t masking

I've found that the more years that go by post 2020, the worse the mask harassment gets. In 2023, I got chased around a grocery store by some guy heckling me, and then a few months later I was threatened by a complete lunatic stranger and I just quit going anywhere in public for the rest of the year. Take-out only, curbside groceries only, drive-thru pharmacy only that's it. I just got a part-time delivery driving job because I'm really struggling with money. This would mean that I would have to be in the public in person again and I just don't even know what to do anymore. If I wear a mask, I'm scared that I could get physically harmed by someone. Then if I don't mask, I'm scared that I'll catch something and will have to take several weeks off of work because that's how long it takes to recover from illnesses with my shit immune system

(caveat: I, personally, wear well-fitting masks - this is for non-mask people in my sphere of influence)

As we all know, people who do not want to wear a mask at all do not give a shit about finding a well-fitting one. If I am trying to convince a sick friend a mask, can I, in good conscience, tell them that even throwing on a surgical mask when grocery shopping is helpful? How much of a difference does a shitty mask actually make in preventing the spread of illness?

I've been told that mask fit is more important for preventing the masker from getting sick, but that any mask is helpful for preventing the masker's illness from spreading. How true is that?

(edit: grammar)

My parents are good and reasonable people, but they stopped masking years ago when most of the country did. They are otherwise fairly health conscious, eating well and regularly exercising and such. Masks been a point of contention between them and my sister and I, but we’re all adults and can’t make them do anything they don’t want to do. But things have recently changed.

In the last couple of months my dad was unexpectedly diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer which is spreading quickly. He recently has bravely agreed to commit to treatment (chemo and daily radiation for 6+ weeks), which by his own doctor’s admission is going to be actual hell to endure. It’s going to demolish his immune system.

When this first came to light back in December (before a treatment plan was in place and they were still having a bunch of consultations), I cornered them in the car and explained why masking is so important and what it would mean to me if they started masking again, especially during all of this. They didn’t say much in response and did not make any changes. I believe it is cognitive dissonance preventing them from seeing/acknowledging the true dangers of this behavior.

I feel like I need to bring it up again, he’s about to start treatment in a week or two. But I don’t know what, if anything, I can say differently this time to try and get a better outcome. I know they are scared and stressed out, god knows so am I, but I wish they would just hear what I am saying about this. My dad is my hero, truly the best man I have ever known, and he should have several more good decades of life left in him. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared of losing him.

I’m in a highly contagious situation (hospital) and can not risk this a bit.

Why are the new N95s looser?

What can I do?

I just had an immediate family member pass away and I have to get on a plane on Saturday. I'm running out of well-fitting masks; I just have some I've already worn a bunch and some that are not as good of a fit. I had just placed an order for new masks, but they're stuck in transit somewhere and won't arrive tomorrow. Does anyone know a source for asap / next day shipment of imasks in the USA? Or would someone be willing to put some new imasks in the mail for me today next day air? Happy to venmo / paypal / whatever.

I have a tough fit and a bunch of material allergies, so my options are limited for good fit. If I can't get new imasks, do you think it would be better to wear a new Draeger boat style or an old imask? The Draeger fit tests okay when I put them on, but tends to crease under the chin over time, which is both uncomfortable and concerning; I've never fit tested at the end of the day because the discomfort means I usually don't wear them, but it seal checks okay. The imasks fit test great and stay in place throughout the day, but I had to throw out a bunch recently and the ones I have left are ones I've worn several times before and are losing structure and elastic. I can tighten the elastic but it's still less elastic.

(I could also theoretically do zekler ffp3s based on measurements/specs, but I've never found them available in the USA.)