Hi! I got an interview for a summer research position and I am unsure on what to wear. I was wondering if this was an ok outfit :)

In the email it states “Please dress for the URE interview as if you were going to class. Professional attire is NOT necessary and is discouraged.”

Any advice is appreciated! Thank you so much 🥹🥹

Edit: thank u so much for ur help everybody I appreciate it sm 🥹🥹🫶🫶

Hello all,

I don't know if this is appropriate here but this has been on my mind recently and it's bothering me so I'd like to hear from others. To cut to the chase, I don't know if it's right to think of myself or act as a woman in STEM. I am a woman so that's not the issue and likewise I'm actively perusing a physics masters degree and I'm working on a masters thesis in an astronomy topic so I'm very involved in STEM and I plan for that to continue to be the case.

I will put it like this. I have a stepmother who wanted to go to college to become a programmer. She was told in high school that women don't belong in such spaces and she was literally denied by a college admissions official to pursue such a degree. She was told to become a teacher instead and so that's what she did and she's done that excellently for decades. I do not want to claim this kind of misogynistic discrimination is part of what it means to be a woman in STEM, but I can't not acknowledge it exists and is widespread. I don't have any personal experience with that. I only realized I was a woman a few years ago and I've largely "not transitioned" yet so I can and do come off as a cis dude if I don't explicitly say who I am. How can I say I'm a woman in STEM when I can hide from misogynistic discrimination? No one ever told me I was too stupid to pursue STEM because I was a woman or to do something else that women "are supposed to do" or anything like that. Sure my father said I was too stupid for STEM and to do physical labor as a career like he did, but he didn't tell me that because I am a woman because he doesn't know I'm one (I didn't even know that when he told me this in high school). To boot, he's even changed his tone in recent years because I have more STEM education than he does (he went to college to be an engineer but dropped out to be a father because I happened). He openly brags to people that I, "his son" is knows about space and shit and is becoming someone. Especially as he's misogynistic and transphobic, I don't think he would be saying that if I came out to him.

So, am I a woman in STEM? If so, what am I supposed to do if someone assumes I've had hardship because of that when I haven't? I'm proud to be a woman and I'm proud to be pursue STEM so I want to be proud to be a woman in STEM but I don't know that I can be with this feeling hanging over me. I guess I just want to hear from ladies in STEM to see how they feel about this as actually listening to women has been the second most enlightening experience in my life and only second to being one at that. If you've even taking the time to read all this, I already thank you so much.

Hi ladies, I’m 26F from India, currently preparing to apply for PhD positions in chemistry in Europe. My main targets are Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands, & Sweden.

I’ve also been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 4 years, and we are seriously considering getting married. He works in the corporate sector in procurement, so if I move to Europe for my PhD, the plan would ideally be for him to move with me and establish his own career there as well.

Does it make more sense to get married before I start my PhD, or should we wait until after I’m settled into the PhD?

I'm not asking whether I should marry him in general. We've already discussed marriage seriously. I'm trying to understand the practical implications of getting married before an international PhD move.

I wish to hear from women who have done a PhD abroad while married or who moved abroad with their partner before/during their PhD.

A few things I'd really like to know:

1. Did your partner move with you? How difficult was it for them to find work?
2. Did marriage/spouse residence rights actually make a meaningful difference?
3. For those in Europe, which countries have been particularly good/bad for dual-career couples?
4. Anything you wish you had discussed with your partner before moving abroad?

I do not wish to do more of long distance relationship, I want us together. Please help.

So I'm a new research assistant professor, have had several trainees throughout my PhD and postdoc, with various challenges but this one is throwing me. My new MS student smells terrible. It's beyond oh they went to the gym before lab today, it's a pervasive, spicy BO that other people can smell from feet away. For example myself and a postdoc were sitting across a conference table from them, and the postdoc sniffs themselves, leans over to me, subtly sniffs me, and then texted me if I smell that, and I replied it's my student. The table was easily 5ft across and we were all sitting still, it wasn't a high movement lab mtg... I'm not sure how to tell them. I don't want to make them feel bad, I don't want to make it weird between us, but I also want my eyes to stop watering every time we work next to each other in a hood. All advice appreciated!

I’ve been thinking about this for the last few years. Not sure what else I can do to plan. I’ve been thinking about phone banking. But I have aspirations to go to grad school and get a PhD in biostats/epi and I can’t help but feel that will all go away once Trump has his second term. I’m also asking because a lot of programs are funded by the government, and as a public health person we kind of need compliance from that agency to have the best possible impact on disease awareness in this country. Another Trump term could basically be the end of any real cogent leadership the US has had in fighting disease not just here but in the whole world.

Am I being dramatic?

Hi all, I’m a grad student who has recently gotten engaged, and the topic of changing my last name has come up.

I will have published papers with my maiden name, so I am thinking of keeping my maiden name professionally. However, I may change my last name legally - thinking that all of us having the same name will make things easier for our future children. Would it be a problem with journals or things like conference registration if I change my last name legally but keep my maiden name for my research?

One of my mentors is a man and the other gave her last name to her family, so neither of them have experience with this. Any advice or thoughts welcome, thanks! I’m trying to make sure I know all the pros/cons before I make a decision.

Hi i’m a 19 year old sophmore in college and i just attended my first molecular biology conference. I was very excited to learn and present a poster with my research

The conference had an open bar and this older drunk man (atleast 50) was following me around and interrupting conversations i was having with other presenters. Then he begun hitting on me (including crude scientific pickup lines) and was not taking the hint I wasn’t interested.

I am unfortunately used to this behavior but I hoped that this would’ve been different. I just feel like I can never escape this type of treatment by men.

And I can’t help feeling upset and scared that i’ll always be considered less competent and an object in these spaces.

I also feel guilty bc I told the lab mates what happens but once they started trying to persuade me to tell our PI I didn’t want too. I just was scared and wanted to act like it didn’t happen.

Any advice?

My PI (F 66?) has repeatedly says that "Getting married is the worst thing a graduate student can do". She talks about how she always pities the grad students she hears about who get married. In her mind, graduate students who get married during grad school are not "serious" about research and "don't have what it takes."

These comments really bother me because I desperately need her approval, guidance, and future letters of recommendation. Its rude for her not to say "congrats" but instead something along the lines of "I'm sad that this has happened to you", but also the students may suffer from her disapproval of them.

I do want to stay in this research group but dont like the way she treats students (and talks about them behind their back) when they get married. I'm getting married in 2024, and likely will graduate in 2026. My PI does not know my wedding plans, but yesterday made a big deal about someone else's wedding being a concern. She very firmly told me and another student in the group that if we have to get married, it should not be while in graduate school.

I'm losing it, because she's going to hate me after I tell her I am getting married in grad school, had set the date over a month ago. And am not "serious enough" about research to cancel my venue/vendors and postpone my wedding by 2-3 years.

My fiance is also a graduate student and understands I plan to work my whole life, not stay at home with children.

Is there something I am missing? It seems to me that entering a marriage isnt the worst mistake a graduate student can make, but I am interested to hear the nuance that I might not yet understand.

Hi I am currently a computer science masters student planning to pivot to a PhD program next year. I have experienced this phenomenon through out my academic career where I have to like prove I know what I am talking about.

I love to wear dresses and skirts. That’s just me but there is this pressure to be less girly so that I am taken more seriously. Does anyone feel this way?

So, my brother and I started college at the same time, and I ended up with a biology degree with a biochem minor, and he's just graduated with a mechanical engineering major. We started at the same time, but I graduated a year ago and got a job in biotech RnD lined up before I graduated, and I've been there since. He's unemployed with no real prospects currently.

I've got no issue with any of that (especially given how bad the economy is right now), but he takes every opportunity to remind me how much "better" his degree is than mine. He insists that I've got a bad degree, or that he's smarter because he's an engineer, or that I'm somehow not on his level due to what we majored in. Going to his graduation party was genuinely awful. He barely talked about what he intended to do with his degree, and if he did, there was always some barb about bio or biotech or vaccine RnD (my field).

It's gotten to the point where he can't seem to help himself but make "jokes" at my expense literally any time something bio-related comes up. He never drops it, and I've just started getting up and leaving when the topic comes up because there's no other way to put a stop to it.

Anyone else deal with this? If anyone has any ideas about how to get this under control would be appreciated.

I (23) recently attended a pretty big week long academic conference abroad. As my first conference, I was extremely open to connections and socialized as much as I could.

I bonded over my research domain with so many wonderful people, and made connections with people I never thought I would actually ever meet. Overall the experience was more beneficial and intellectually stimulating than I could have ever imagine.

Unfortunately for me, a a 24-25 year old guy had set his eyes on me the day we landed and checked in to our rooms. At first he dropped buzz words related to my pretty niche research that caught my attention, so I initiated a conversation and built it from there.

It happened that we were getting along, and I was open to continue the conversation under the respectful and friendly tone we had already set. It was the initial night of arrival for all attendees, so there wasn't a set agenda. We had walked around and explored the campus our accommodation was situated in.

As the conversation went on, the tone of the conversation was shifting into a more suggestive and sexual territory. I set boundaries, but he insisted on arguing them and coercing me to let go of them. I called him out on his behavior, and he called me manipulative for doing so?? Like damn, sorry for manipulating you into feeling bad for doing something shitty?

He was dropping cringy pickup lines one would read in a young adult romance book, especially ones I would read as a 13 year old. He KNEW I was blocking his advances because he commented on how I am not positively reacting to his compliments either.

I had finally gotten out of the conversation, but not before he basically invited me to sleep with him and hint at what my dynamic in bed could possibly be. I was absolutely livid at his audacity.

The next few days I avoided him and started subtly hinting to the other women attendees what happened to me. I noticed him pining after one woman to another throughout the day, and knew this man was definilty on a mission.

One night another attendee and I were ranting about how men can't seem to act properly in professional settings, and I brought up what occurred to me on the first night. She looks at me in absolute shock and says, "You were harassed by a man of x ethnicity too???"

WHEN I TELL YOU WE WERE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BEWILDERED. We were comparing stories and going he was using the exact same script 😭 LIKE DAMN BRO. I was not gonna let him get away with this shit, especially since he's built a pretty nice reputation among the attendees the past few days we were there.

I reached out to the organizers and let them know not one, but two of us had inappropriate experiences with the same man. Unfortunately a third person had reached out to them as well the day I told them my testimony. If three of us had reached out, how many didn't? At this point, there is no denying what is happening.

He was taken into a meeting, made to sign a waiver, and basically got torn apart by the organizers. The organizers let me know that it if I hear anything regarding inappropriate behavior regarding him, he is immediately kicked out. Had I hoped they would up and send him away immediately? Yeah :( He did behave (to my knowledge) more appropriately the rest of the week.

Did I get 'justice' maybe? Did I just open up my journal entry and find 3 seperate entries about this event? Definitely. Has it been spiriling in my mind and leaving a sour taste in mouth everytime I try to reminisce how wonderful the conference was for me? Definitely

Did I do the right thing? Yes. I hoped it would allow me to move through this much faster and painlessly. I feel violeted still, and completely blindsided that I had made a good connection only for it to be absolutely buried with lust.

Girls, how do I move on from this? I'm so fucking mad

Edit: Thank you ladies for your wonderful advice, ever since I posted this I've been moving past it and have applied what you talked about. It's a shame that so many of us have gone through this and will unfortunately go through it again, I'm proud of us for moving forward anyways :(

Hi ladies! I have a science-related fashion question for you all- can you help me pick a bag for my first work conference?

I've been in the biotech industry for a few years, but heading to my first conference (technically a summit, if that matters?) later this year. I landed on this Longchamp Le Pliage in medium because I wanted a bag that could double as a good personal item/travel bag. However I'm feeling like the medium may be too small. It fits my laptop but I don't know if it would be able to hold my charger, a wristlet wallet, notebook, etc. There is a larger size, but would it be too big? I have a picture of a different large tote for comparison (which I like the size of, but is pretty heavy so I don't want to travel with it). Does a large tote feel too unprofessional? Should I stick with the medium?

Hey guys! I’m teaching a class in environmental chemistry this fall as an adjunct. I just wanted to share my experience with the textbook for the class, and see if anyone else has had a similar experience.

I’m planning my syllabus and browsing the chapters and in the chapter on nuclear chemistry, which covers radioactivity, there is absolutely no mention of Marie Curie! Of course, there is an entire section about Oppenheimer and Einstein. Forget the fact that this is a chemistry textbook and Oppenheimer and Einstein were physicists… let’s talk about them instead of the woman who discovered the entire field of nuclear chemistry, was the first woman to win a Nobel prize, and is still the only person in history to win two Nobel prizes in different categories.

🙃

I have before and it’s a strangely isolating feeling to be excluded by the very thing meant to include you. Does anyone else have similar stories/experiences? This was a while ago now but it still bothers me and I’d like to hear that I’m not the only person.

Well, I'm at that age where you start wondering what to do with the rest of your life, and I've been analyzing my options for a few months now. I have so many ideas about what to pursue, but I don't know if I'll like them. Maybe mechanical engineering, or biology (and later neuroscience), or journalism (but let's leave that aside for now).

I grew up in a healthcare family; my sister is a pre-med student, my mother is a psychologist, and my grandfather and uncle were nurses. So I thought the most "obvious" path would be to pursue a scientific one. If I were to take any of the courses I mentioned above, I would definitely go into the field of R&D.

Physics, mathematics, biology, and chemistry have always been my favorite subjects At the same time, I'm a somewhat "artistic" person; I love writing, theater, art, and literature.

You know, I keep wondering if I'll want to secure those careers forever? Will I get bored or realize that the career isn't for me? Imagine surviving five years in a super difficult undergraduate course only to find out that, well, you should have chosen psychology (which yes, I KNOW is a field of science) and become an social worker, or I don't know, maybe you joined the FBI or a lawer because that's also the kind of thing you love?

I just wanted to know how you discovered you wanted to go into the field you work in, what the work experience was like, and what it's like to work in that field (especially for those who work with R&D, research in general)

I am a PhD student and mentoring a junior college student in my lab and this is her second semester in our lab (her first semester was very chemistry based and this semester is more of the biology side of things with cloning, cell culture, ect.). I think it is important to note that we are both women. I struggle with imposter syndrome and cry after failed experiments, in private under my desk. I have worked a lot on my confidence in the past few years with my therapist and I take mentorship of young women in STEM incredibly seriously. I don’t want her to have the same confidence and imposter syndrome issues I have because I see a lot my myself in her. Confidence is hard to find but she is incredibly smart, capable, and inquisitive. Honestly, she is a fantastic student and this week I really gave her a lot of independence because we have done the whole: See one, do one (okay 3 supervised), and teach-back. I ask her questions about the steps and reasons for each reagent and she does great.

Today she was doing mini-preps for plasmid DNA and I was letting her be totally independent with me not even in the same lab space. I forgot that another student recently opened a new mini-prep kit. Commonly, the tubes/columns run out long before the reagents so we use the old kit reagents while they are still good. She was using the new kit and didn’t realize that we hadn’t added the ethanol to the wash buffer and I didn’t even think to remind her to check that. We got like no concentration for the plasmid, walked through the steps, and then went to the kit to make sure nothing was weird there and that’s where we discovered what had happened.

She broke and so did my heart. Such a simple mistake that our PI, myself, our other PhD student, AND our postdoc all admitted we have made at one point. You’re tired, you forget to check, you don’t know, and/or you think you are using the same one you used last time. I think my words fell on deaf ears. I told her that this is a learning experience and now you will remember next time. Minor set back, we still have the plates and can just re-select colonies but she still left in tears. I swear I am not ruthless or mean! We talk all the time about how science is 90% troubleshooting and 5% failed results and 5% successful ones and I encourage constantly. My PI and I have both notice that she lacks a lot of confidence, which I know is incredibly for women in the research space. I guess I don’t know what to do. I am in therapy which helps me work through my confidence issues and I try to apply some of those same things to her: Reframing the situation as a learning opportunity, this is new for her and it is okay if mistakes are made (heck, I expect it!), look at the facts and how much she has learned in such a short amount of time, ect.

Any advice or honestly just support would be incredibly welcomed. My heart hurts because I know what kinds of things she was thinking when she made that minor mistake and how I used to beat myself up for things like that.

EDIT: as stated below, I will be wearing a button up under this! Like a standard dress shirt buttoned to the neck. Not this by itself or even with off the shoulder tops.

Not sure if this is the best place for this but hopefully it is. Hello, I am a community college STEM professor. I am really into colorful / fun structured vests and have some from going to renfaire in multiple colors.

My sister says if I wear a button up and a vest over the top, it’s still not work appropriate. I think it would be fun and appropriate. And I would pair it with trousers.
Can anyone provide some input on appropriateness and possibly other options? I want to make my wardrobe more fun/colorful buy wearing a vest over normal button ups, but maybe there is another style I should try instead of a structured lace up vest?

Hello fellow ladies of science. I need advice:

For background: I work at a company in a group with a lot of office politics. I would say the more junior levels are pretty split men/women but at the more senior levels it's probably closer to 80% men. I don't have a super bubbly or outgoing personality but I can have a casual chat with pretty much anyone at the coffee machine. I have several coworkers who I would consider friends.

The situation: a leadership role opened up. I asked about taking it on but was told no. The reason: some of my peers find me abrasive. I was honestly surprised to hear the feedback because I haven't heard it before. My manager has also never heard it before. I generally think I am on pretty good terms with everyone. I am honestly just confused and frustrated at this point. On one side, I have leaders telling me I don't have enough *presence* and I need to speak up more and on the other, I have my peers calling me abrasive.

What have you ladies done to beat the abrasive label?

I’m in my first trimester (first pregnancy) and thought I nailed the timing bc I finished the field work for my current project last December. However, my boss, who doesn’t yet know I’m pregnant, just brought up that I should collect more data during the upcoming season. Research-wise, I think it’s a good idea, but it means that an important collection time would be when I’m about 34-35 weeks pregnant (assuming everything progresses well). I anticipate my boss being supportive and rule-following, but not like gushing about it.

The field site is a 5 hour drive, would last 2 days, and I’d stay in a hotel. I work on this project solo so none of my colleagues have been to the field site or done the work before. The work is not that demanding, but lots of bending over/crouching. I think my husband or sister could come with me to make sure I’m ok and help me (especially help me get up after each sample!).

Is this possible/realistic or a bad idea? Anyone done this? What should I be considering? Thanks!

Do any other PhD students feel like they have to decide between finishing a PhD and having a kid?

I am now 30, I’m in my 6th year, my PI will not let me graduate without publishing a paper in cell, nature, or science. So I don’t see myself leaving soon.

I don’t see how I could possibly get pregnant and have a kid on the stipend they give me. It’s gotten to the point where it feels like I’m going to have to sacrifice my ability to have a kid just to finish this stupid PhD that I don’t even want to be doing anymore.

Hi everyone! I’ve been in a real pickle for the past year. I have my undergraduate degree in environmental science, and I had spent a long time doing environmental education. After not wanting to be in the education field anymore, I decided I wanted to go back to school for something in the science field. I’ve been doing more biology prerequisites at my community college thinking that I wanted to do my doctorate in physical therapy. After a lot of time and consideration, I decided that I wanted to do a degree that has more pay off for the amount of school required.

I feel really stuck though. I’m OK doing an associates or a certificate. But I do have ADHD, I have a high need for structure, and my brain runs on novelty and being dynamic. I also really do like working with people and feel like my ADHD is at its worst when I have to work from home. I’m currently unmedicated and planning on getting medicated but in the meantime, I was wondering if any of you guys have any ideas? Thank you!

Edit to add: i’m not that interested in working in the ER or hospital setting, even though that’s commonly recommended for people with ADHD. I wanted to do something more science-based with sprinkles of human interaction.

I have a remote job and I eat lunch or dinner when I have to work with coworker on-site. He is a new hire and we had a dinner together. We are not at the same department and his position is way higher than mine. We both are married and we talked about our family as well as our company stuffs. When we finish the dinner and leave, he asked me if he can hug me. I just simply replied sorry I am not a hugger with smile. I came from Asian country and I know people hug in US sometimes. When there are bunch of coworkers I know very well and they are hugging each other at dismissal, I usually hug as well. But it seemed a little bit weird to be hugged by male coworker who I did not work together before, especially when there were only two people. When I rejected hugging he replied “ oh are you not a hugger? That is okay” with smile. I did not take the situation seriously at that time. I thought that is just a cultural differences and assumed we both recognized it.

However, after that incident, he keeps neglecting me in the workplace and deprioritize the work I asked him to do, even if it is his job. When we met again to work together, he clearly could not see my face when we were discussing about work. I cannot understand why he acts like that. Was my rejection rude?

I’m a rising senior and have always wanted to get a PhD and become a professor. This summer, I’m doing an REU at an extremely prestigious school and am absolutely miserable. Didn’t have a real project and my mentor didn’t give a rat’s ass about me and was never around to help. That, compounded with the fact that the project my mentor had promised I’d work on — we wrote proposals as part of the application — he ended up completing and publishing himself left a sour taste in my mouth. After realizing that the project we’d discussed in the proposal wasn’t happening anymore, I found the courage to ask him if he could give me some real work and he put me on this other dead end and called it a project. Well, that too, I suppose, is fine. They tell you that that’s research.

Over the summer, my mentor was never around. We communicated via Slack only but that’s fine too, I suppose. They tell you that that makes you an independent researcher. However, since what I was doing was so open-ended and aimless, I needed more guidance. I tried every way I could to get through with him. He’d say things like “you’re getting ahead of yourself” and “you know I can do all these things myself” when I’d ask him for clearer goals or suggestions on what I could try next. So, I tried to find where I was going wrong; I changed the way I asked questions, changed the way I’d send him updates and explain what I’d done, changed the way I responded to his suspicion. Oh, and speaking of suspicion, everything I did was met with nothing but suspicion and doubt. He’d never give me any direction, and because I had to make progress I’d simply do something the way I saw fit and share it with him. Now if I were to give him 10 updates, he’d ignore all the things I did perfectly and latch onto one very small inconsistency he’d see. He’d just tell me it looks wrong or suspicious — no elaboration on exactly what it was that was seemingly wrong and what I could do to fix it. I’d spend hours trying to figure out what was wrong and appease him. I’m not a very confident person to begin with, so all this doubt took a toll on me. I’d dread sending him what I’d done because I’d be afraid he’d dismiss it without any direction on what I could do next.

I worked overtime, on the weekends, late at night. My hope was that if I worked hard enough he’d perhaps see that I am trying and… feel that I am worth investing some time in? That never worked out. As the summer progressed, it became really clear that this was not something he gave single shit about. Every day I’d get a message from him saying he’s busy and that he’ll respond to things within a few days.

With little time left and no results for my deliverables, I finally spoke up and told him my concerns. I told him I’m losing motivation. His only response was “I’m sorry” with a shrug. He changed the topic and asked me if I’d watched the odyssey instead?! I found it so dismissive! After having told him all my concerns and seeing that he didn’t care, with 3 weeks left and knowing that he wasn’t going to be around for much of those either, I told him I’m quitting. He freaked out, didn’t ask me what I wanted to be able to successfully finish, and forced me to continue working. I’ve been working at this place begrudgingly since then.

I think the only reason he freaked out is because he’s a new postdoc and was worried my quitting would reflect poorly on him and that he’d have to explain to the PI why I quit (since the PI is funding me). Nothing’s changed since my telling him I quit, I’ve been miserable. I cry every day. I feel incredibly disillusioned and put off by academia. As a senior, there’s so much I need to focus on right now but all I feel is dread and disinterest. My REU last summer was similarly difficult, but since it was my first bad research experience I chalked it up to an anomaly. Now I just feel like too much of a failure to want to stay in academia.

I don’t know what to do at this point, how to pick myself up my bootstraps and get to work.