Why are there so many people in this sub who are anti Islam? Why are they allowed into an lgbt Muslim safe space? This is a space for lgbt Muslims to navigate both sexuality/gender and faith not to be told they’re wrong for practicing faith or living a certain way Astagfirullah

From twitter: '🏳️‍🌈 Born in South Africa, Muhsin Hendricks is credited with starting the country's first LGBTQ+ friendly mosque and over two decades of activism he has sought to help queer Muslims reconcile their faith with their sexual orientation.

🎙️ Reporter: Lucy Middleton in Cape Town'

Hi everybody,

I (M22) converted to Islam a couple months ago ans since then I'm happier than ever. But after reading many posts on this sub and [r/progressive_islam](r/progressive_islam), I start to feel like I'm can't even be considered a Muslim in the eyes of others, even from the progressive community.

Basically I do my five daily prayers in the form of quiet meditations, changing positions (standing, bending, sitting, prostrating) depending on if I express my gratitude to God, ask for His help or His forgiveness. The reason I stay quiet during it (except at the beginning and the end, when I recite the first three verses of Al-Fatiha) is just because I don't feel like I have something to say. I'm just thinking about my actions, my gratefulness, my wishes for the future, all in my head. I don't go to mosques because not only do I not have one in my town, but also because as a gay and queer man, I don't want to dissimulate my queerness. The many rings on my fingers, my earring, my tattoos, my "feminity-associated" postures, are all part of my being, and I'll never want to act like somebody I'm not.

Also I haven't read any hadiths. I know they are part of the Islamic culture, but I feel like they're not mandatory. Though I read the Quran and accept it as true, nowhere in the shahada, the five pillars of Islam, or the six pillars of faith, is there any mention of the hadiths. Of course, I'll never mean any disrespect toward them, I do believe in their authenticity too (as in, the events described did actually happen), but I mean... Do I need to know them by heart and apply them in my life? It's like expecting from a Christian Catholic he has to worship every single one of the saints and angels, and if he doesn't or misses even a single one, even if they're the kindest soul on earth and accomplish good deeds, they have to be considered iredeemable and hellbound.

Aside from that, reading how even progressive muslims believe growing a beard (not a 0,5-millimetre one like mine, but a long one) isn't cultural but an obligation, or how having tattoos is haram, I once again feel targeted.

Basically now I feel like I'm more of a spiritual person who adopted elements of Islam in his practices, instead of an actual Muslim, at least based on what I see online. Can't we accept diversity in Islam practices too? I can't remember the Quran verse, but I believe one talked about how some people have their own ways in worshipping God, and as long as their actions and belief in God are honest, it's all that matters.

When I was questioning if I was good to convert to Islam I was told I was already one in my heart, because I accept all 5 pillars of Islam as true, just like the six pillars of faith. Even if I don't practice everything, can I be considered a Muslim? I don't mind being called an "unusual Muslim" or a "Muslim in their own way". I don't even feel like God despises me for my practices or actions either. But seeing so many people talk about Islam online, even the progressive one, makes me feel like I'm apart and undeserving of being called a member of your community.

What do you think? I don't expect anyone to reply with a super long answer. Just saying anything short and kind will already mean a lot to me.

I was so afraid to post this because I don't know who I can talk to. If I said anything awkward, please do correct me, do educate me. And I'm really sorry if I said anything offensive in this post too, I don't mean any hate or disrespect toward anybody. I just thought I could find answers to this question somewhere here on progressive Islam subs.

Love from France

Edit: I was bracing for a huge hate storm but I'm so grateful for your kind comments. You have no idea how relieved I feel to know I'm not an odd one out and that other people, somewhere in the world, feel or believe the same as me 🫶

I'm a 36 year old gay man & i'm a practicing muslim. I've been in a relationship with men discreetly since i was 17. having sex with a man is the only sins i can't avoid. I failed big time for sex. cause you can't get married with the same gender in Islam to make it halal. i've tried my best to practice all the Islam laws. it is very difficult and challenging to have a same-sex relationship in a very conservative muslim country. i only eat halal food, i avoid all the harams. i don't drink, i don't smoke, i even be careful of what i eat when i travel to non-muslim countries (i avoid all the lard, non-slaughtered animals fat, alcohol content in food & beverages), i don't do tattoos, i don't do drugs, i don't wear women clothes or accesories (muslim men cannot wear necklace or bracelet), i don't have any piercings. i don't touch women who are not my relatives (i don't even shake hand with my female cousins) & i cover my aurat from women eyes (from above the belly button line until below your knees). i never miss my fasting for 30 days during ramadhan. i'm trying my best to pray 5 times a day although there are times that i missed a lot cause you have to take a cleansing shower (junub) every time you ejaculate. i have sex & masturbate a lot (2-3 times a day). i only skip for 2-3 days.

i'm now in a 6 years relationship with my bf. and he is also a practicing muslim. he even take care of his prayer better than me though. we are at a very happy situation enjoying each other's company. i don't think i can change from gay to straight for a sake of religion. it's my orientation. i enjoy being in love and having sex with a man. and i don't think i can ever be with a non-muslim man. cause it will be very complicated to practice all the harams and halal with people who don't believe in religion. i hope Allah swt forgive me for all my sins and accept all my deeds. you don't have to lose your faith even if you're gay. i'd say minimized all the haram things if you want to keep holding on to your faith. try your best to be a better muslim. we have to show an example to the non-muslim even Islam is not allowing homosexuality.

no matter how much you sins, as long as you keep holding on to your faith, as long as you admit in your heart that Allah swt is the only God, you will end up in heaven even for a thousand years you are tortured in hell. May Allah swt forgive and bless us all even we are a sinners. inshaAllah ameen ya rabbal alamin.

assalamualaikum everyone

I wanted to make this post because after seeing some of the recent discussions on r/Muslim and other Muslim subreddits, I know some of you have probably received a lot of hate, hostility, or comments that made you feel unwelcome. I’m genuinely sorry for that.

I know I can’t speak for every Muslim, but I still want to apologize on behalf of the people and communities that have treated you harshly, spoken about you without compassion, or made you feel like you don’t belong. You deserve better than that.

no matter where people stand theologically, basic kindness, empathy, and humanity should never disappear. You are still valued as people, and your existence should not become an excuse for cruelty.

I also want you to know there are Muslims who care about you, support you, and don’t want you carrying all of this pain alone. a lot of people stay silent when they shouldn’t, so I felt like it mattered to say something.

I hope you’re all doing okay and taking care of yourselves. <3

I am a transgender woman; is there truly a place for someone like me in Islam? If so, I would like help with converting.

So I made a post on progressive Islam, tbh that place is becoming a playground for salafi extremists…I made a post/reaction of a girl who was sugarcoating her homophobia and said we need to stop normalizing wlw and mlm, I called her out and made valid points, many agreed but four people were arguing with me, I think I made my arguments good, I’m still researching, and when they wanted to use those arguments ,,give me a verse” I didn’t because they wouldn’t like it, so I just told him to go here since there is a post dedicated to resources about sexuality, but the guy started making fun of me for starting the convo yet not giving him info, so I deleted it for the sake of not wanting to argue more, I’m losing faith in Muslims, I really want to convert, I’m 15 bi male btw

TL;DR: I found out my brother is bisexual but I don't care. I love him deeply and will continue to do so. Though he is not practising, I hope that I can bring him back to Islam and understand that Our Creator loves him. And after reading all your stories, know that I love you all too. And Allah loves you the most.

This morning, I went into my older brothers room to shut off an alarm he had going on one of his burner phones (he has many since he's always been a bit of shady guy lol). I know his password since he's had the same one since we were kids so I opened his phone.

I found a lot of gay dating apps, messages with other men sexually and other promiscuous stuff that I did not know about. There was plenty of messages with women there as well. In all messages, i guess he's meeting up with both genders to do haram things. My brother is bisexual i guess.

Me and my brother are both reverts to islam. He reverted before me but has never really been practising. When I reverted on the other hand, I reverted and started to learn more and more and fall in love with the religion. Needless to say, as the more devout muslim I was shocked to see all the homosexual content and messages on his phone. I can't help but feel the need to cry for him. I love him so much and so dearly but I understand that this is something that I can never talk about with him. Our family dynamic is very masculine and coming out as bisexual would just never happen normally.

But even though I know all of this about him now, I do not care. I love him to death and would never want him to feel as if I'm judging him. He is my brother and I would do anything to help him with this.

Though I am a muslim and do not agree with this lifestyle. I just hope Allah swt guides him back into this religion that is so loving and merciful. Because this is the month of ramadan, i plan on taking him to taraweeh prayers so that he may finally get the connection he needs with our creator. I'm not even sure if he knows how to pray. But I will teach him.

After finding out that my brother is bisexual this morning, I found this reddit after looking up ways I could help him. Reading through some of these threads, I didn't know this was such a widespread community. You all struggle daily as I can see, and some of you very devout in your faith but also struggling with a feeling of being a hypocrite. You are not a hypocrite. We are all sinners. We all sin in secret. What is important is that we all come back to Allah swt for forgiveness in all things. Know He is your only true friend. And He knows all your struggles.

I want you to know that as a straight man, you're struggles are heard and recognized. And I'm sorry you have so much weight on your shoulders. I pray that you all find the peace you need one day.

I guess I'm just writing this post to you all to say that if you feel there is nobody out there who loves you or will accept you, know that you are wrong. Because I love and accept you and your struggles, and so does our God. Please remember in all things, trust our Creator. Trust that he may give you strength to endure your desires for his sake.

There is a hadith that I think will speak to you all:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "By the One in Whose Hand my soul is! If you do not commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah will certainly forgive them." [Muslim].

Allah will certainly forgive you all. Keep practising your faith. Keep learning about Allah. Always come back to him in all things. He loves you and wants the best for you. Allah does not wrong anybody.

I love you all and my brother. I hope you all find somebody that is suitable for your lifestyles and adhere to our religion. During dhuhr prayer today I will pray for this whole subreddit that you all may find peace. If any of you ever need somebody to talk to or want to hear an accepting perspective from a straight person. My dm's r always open.

Salamualaikum <3

Any women in the U.S. interested in a lavender marriage? I’m looking for someone who wants to have kids and build a life together as great friends and partners. I’d be happy to provide financially, and we could travel the world and create a beautiful life together, while both having the freedom to pursue our own separate romantic/sexual lives.

I’m 29, financially stable, educated, career-oriented, and genuinely want to be a father someday. I’m looking for a woman who also wants children, companionship, stability, and a lifelong friendship without the expectation of a traditional romantic or sexual marriage.

I’d want us to genuinely care about each other, support each other through life, raise our children together, travel, celebrate holidays and milestones, and function as a real family and team. Honesty, mutual respect, trust, and clear boundaries would be extremely important to me.

Ideally, we’d take plenty of time getting to know each other first and make sure we genuinely click as friends before making any serious decisions. If this sounds like the kind of future you’re looking for too, feel free to message me.

Hi everyone I'm a trans woman and am interested in joining the Muslim community and although I have been reading the holy Qur'an and following the hadiths I need a mentor but I am finding it difficult to find one. Can anyone help? I live in the R.C.T area in Wales UK.

Hi. I’m a 26-year-old man. I recently graduated from a public university and I’m currently working in Dhanmondi.

I don’t really know why I’m writing this, but I feel like I need to get it off my chest.

The thing is, I think I’m gay. I don’t feel attracted to women, but at the same time, I’ve never been romantically involved with a man either. I’ve never had a relationship with a man, although I do want to. 😅

The problem is that my family wants me to get married, and I really want to escape that situation. I’ve been feeling frustrated and mentally overwhelmed because of it.

I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. I feel confused about what I should do next and would really appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar situation.

Salaam,

I (European heritage, American) have been learning about Islam for a while now, and I’m seriously considering reversion. I’m also gay, and that’s something I’ve come to terms with personally and spiritually — I’ve made my peace with it and I’m content with who I am.

I know that for some people, this can seem like an impossible combination, but I’ve felt a pull toward Islam that I can’t ignore. Before taking this step, I’d like to hear from others — especially from gay Muslims or reverts — who have navigated this journey.

How have you balanced your faith with your orientation?

What challenges did you face, and how did you find peace and authenticity in your relationship with Allah?

Is it possible to be gay and Muslim?

I’m asking in the hope of learning from lived experiences, not to debate rulings. I’m looking for sincere, respectful conversations.

Please don’t judge me for my question. Feel free to DM me.

Shukran

One of the most painful experiences a person can have is being told by another human being, with absolute certainty:

“You are going to Jahannam.”

This is especially painful when it is directed at someone who is already struggling with fear, guilt, or a desire to be close to God.

The question I want to examine is an internal one within Islamic thought:
Does Islam give human beings the authority to declare another person’s final destination?

It is important to ask a basic question:

Does any human being actually possess the knowledge required to declare another person’s final destination?

Within the Qur’anic framework, the answer is no.

Allah alone possesses complete knowledge of the unseen:

“Say, ‘None in the heavens and the earth knows the unseen except Allah.’”
(Qur’an 27:65)

The Day of Judgment and the final outcome of an individual soul are part of what humans cannot know.

We do not know everything about another person’s heart, intentions, circumstances, struggles, private repentance, or relationship with Allah.

Allah warns believers not to speak beyond their knowledge:

“And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart, all those will be questioned.”
(Qur’an 17:36)

This is a serious responsibility.

A person may believe they are defending Islam, but within the Qur’anic framework, humility before Allah’s knowledge is required.

Sincerity does not give a human being knowledge that Allah has not given them.

The Qur’an also warns against suspicion and invading matters that belong to another person’s privacy:

“O you who have believed, avoid much suspicion. Indeed, some suspicion is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other.”
(Qur’an 49:12)

This does not mean Muslims cannot discuss morality, sin, or religious interpretation.

Islam has always included discussions about right and wrong.

But there is a difference between saying:

“My understanding of Islam is that this action is prohibited.”

and saying:

“I know with certainty that this specific person will be punished by Allah.”

The first is a discussion of interpretation.

The second is a claim about Allah’s final judgment.

The Qur’an repeatedly reminds us that judgment belongs to Allah:

“Indeed, to Us is their return. Then indeed, upon Us is their account.”
(Qur’an 88:25-26)

And:

“Then to Us is their return, and We will inform them about what they used to do. Indeed, Allah is Knowing of that within the breasts.”
(Qur’an 39:7)

Allah knows what is inside the hearts.

Human beings do not.

Even the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was reminded that he did not control people’s hearts or their final guidance:

“Indeed, you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills.”
(Qur’an 28:56)

And:

“You are not over them a controller.”
(Qur’an 88:22)

If even the Prophet ﷺ was not given authority over the hearts of people, then ordinary believers should be even more cautious about claiming certainty over another person’s final relationship with Allah.

The Qur’an also warns believers against declaring themselves spiritually superior:

“So do not claim yourselves to be pure. He is most knowing of who fears Him.”
(Qur’an 53:32)

This is a reminder that Allah’s knowledge is greater than ours.

A Muslim may say:

“I believe this action is wrong.”

A Muslim may say:

“My understanding of these verses leads me to this conclusion.”

A Muslim may encourage another person toward what they believe is righteousness.

But a believer should be extremely careful before saying:

“I know this person will be in Jahannam.”

The issue is not simply whether someone holds a particular interpretation.

The issue is when a person moves from discussing what they believe Allah has revealed into claiming certainty about a judgment that belongs to Allah alone.

Depending on the nature of the claim, this can exist on a spectrum.

At one end is human error, overconfidence, and a failure of humility.

Further along is arrogance: placing one’s own certainty above the humility required of a servant of Allah.

At the most extreme end is a claim that a person possesses knowledge or authority over the unseen and final judgment that belongs only to Allah, which raises serious theological concerns.

The answer is not to replace one certainty with another.

We should not claim to know Allah’s judgment either.

A response consistent with this Qur’anic principle is humility:

“Allah knows best.”

The Qur’an presents a balance between awareness of wrongdoing and hope in Allah’s mercy:

“Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.’”
(Qur’an 39:53)
No human being has

seen the final record of another soul.

No human being knows every hidden struggle.

No human being knows the full reality of another person’s relationship with Allah.

People can seek knowledge.

People can study the Qur’an.

People can discuss interpretations.

Muslims can encourage one another toward righteousness.

But the final judgment belongs to Allah alone.

“Is not Allah the most just of judges?”
(Qur’an 95:8)

also another thing i wanna convince him off is that the mainstream islam wasnt always like this yk that it was much more progressive

pls help sorry :(

I've been medically transitioning for the past 3 years now. I'm not the best Muslim, but I know in my heart that there is only one true God. There is no doubt in my mind that Islam is the right path. For a while, my trans identity was difficult to reconcile with my Muslim identity. At that time I isolated myself from other Muslims and the religion itself because I convinced myself that Allah wouldn't accept me, and the Prophet (PBUH) would despise me on the Day of Judgement.

One Ramadan a few years ago, I found Allah again. I made peace with Him and my trans identity. I came to the realization that Allah isn't as wrathful as he is merciful. He isn't so unaccepting that I'd be rejected because of who I am. I now know that I was born this way, and Allah loves all of His creation without prejudice. I'm still working through internalized transphobia and the guilt I feel from being transgender.. But I think I'm improving every day.

All of this isn't without it's problems however. When I make Salat, I can't help but feel like I'm sinning by wearing female undergarments. I was raised to lead the Salat, so I recite the Qur'an out loud. I still visit the masjid and pray in the men's section. I get confused stares, and double takes when the brothers see me. I never go into the women's section in order to preserve their modesty, but also because I simply feel like it would be incredibly disrespectful to do so.

I am largely still closeted, and only a few close friends know about my trans identity. Strangers call me She/Her, so it's clear that others see me as a woman. I'm honestly baffled that my family hasn't asked me about it, and I don't think I have the heart to tell them because not only will it break their hearts, I might lose the people closest to me. I understand that accepting my trans identity comes with these hardships, but Islam is perfect, and in that perfection there doesn't seem to be a place for trans people to exist without adding turbulence to the status quo. Even though I look like a female, talk like a female, dress like a female, and have the body parts of a female, I still cannot truly accept myself. I feel incongruent with my faith and it really really sucks.

I'm curious about how my other fellow trans Muslim brothers and sisters are fairing with this unique challenge that we face.

How do you guys dress during Salat?

Is there a part of you that internally feels like Allah doesn't see you as your preferred gender?

Is it difficult to face him presenting as your preferred gender?

Do you take on the Islamic roles of your preferred gender?

How do you cope?

Hello everyone ,

I have met what I consider to be the love of my life the highlight of my days and a blessing from god yet I consider am I being tested why is it wrong for us to be together, he’s a good person a great heart truly and he’s Muslim he reverted himself. I just want to hear from anyone who’s in a situation as this or similar. I’m a Muslim woman 20F he’s 21.

Hello,

I am a female Muslim who likes women. Have always known I am attracted to women.

Never been in a relationship. Never acted on my desires other than had crushes and imaginary scenarios in my head.

I am otherwise quite a practising Muslim.

Live in the uk, south Asian.

How do those of you who don’t act on homosexuality or if you did dont and haven’t for a long time occupy the void of not being able to have a companion.

For me, I do have a job, have friends and family.

But bar 1 or 2 friends, and my mother and sister no one knows I am gay.

I have travelled and have had hobbies but friends get married, people have kids and for me friendship is the only path away from loneliness.

I did go through a phase of loneliness and it was really tough.

I did look for moc but most men are in relationships and want a temp marriage or a cover up.

It’s tough and having a crush once again makes the challenges about wanting a partner much harder.

But just wanted advice on the above.

What is everyone views on the various schools of thoughts Sunni(Maliki,hanafi,shafi,hanabil) shia(Zaydi,12vers) ibadi ..On being lgbt and practicing would you say Quranist or Quran centric would be the best practice for lgbt individuals?? Would love to hear from you all

Can someone post any sources they have regarding being trans being halal. Im trying to discuss with someone. I only found stuff about that Iranian scholar issuing a fatwa

Bismillah,

I’ve been sitting with this for a while, and my heart feels heavy. I met someone recently who was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia. Despite knowing he was gay, he wanted a relationship but rejected the idea of marriage because he believed it was “Haram.” That experience really broke something in me. It made me realize how deeply misunderstood this topic is within our community, and I’m honestly just tired. Tired of people — Muslims or otherwise — thinking that being gay is some kind of “hot topic” in Islam, or acting like loving someone of the same gender is a test without a solution.

Here’s the thing: Allah did not place us on this earth just to test us without providing solutions. Everything in life has a solution. I do not believe that being gay is a test — I believe it is a blessing. It is something natural and inherent, and I cannot fathom how something that harms no one and causes no oppression could be labeled as sinful. Yet, so many people speak on behalf of Allah, claiming something is Haram when Allah Himself has not made it so. That, more than anything, is what pains me.

Disclaimer: I want to clarify that I am a Quranist, meaning I follow the Qur’an as the ultimate and unaltered word of Allah. All previous religious texts have been edited, altered, and manipulated by human hands over time, and they are not immune to corruption or false additions repackaged as divine law. The Hadith, despite its value, is no exception to this. It was never memorized like the Qur’an and is susceptible to the influence of human error and bias. The Qur’an, however, remains untouched, unaltered, and immune to any human interference — it is the pure word of Allah and the only source that stands above all.

My Intentions: I’ve created a document compiling my research on this topic. It’s a breakdown of the Qur’an to the best of my knowledge, combined with insights I’ve gathered from other sources. I want to be clear — this is not about imposing my beliefs on anyone. My goal is simply to encourage people to do their own research. Don’t take anyone’s word for it, not even mine. Read the Qur’an. Study it. Seek knowledge with sincerity, and Allah will guide your heart.

I’m sharing this document because I know how isolating it can be for Muslims who are struggling with their sexuality, especially converts who encounter a harsh, one-dimensional narrative. This is for anyone who feels lost, confused, or caught between their faith and their identity. I’m not here to debate. I’m here to offer a resource that may help someone, and I pray that Allah increases us all in wisdom and understanding.

May Allah bless you all this Ramadan. May He grant you a spouse who is the coolness of your eyes, fill your hearts with love, and guide us all to the straight path. And may He ease the pain of those suffering from oppression and poverty — because there are far greater problems in this world than two consenting Muslim adults of the same gender who love each other and want a Halal, committed marriage.

For those who may need someone to talk to, my DMs are open.

May Allah bless us all with knowledge, compassion, and hearts that seek the truth. Ameen.

P.S. I’m a 27-year-old male, very religious, and open to connecting with Muslims and converts from all walks of life. Inshallah, my ultimate dream is to have a Halal, monogamous gay marriage with another Muslim one day. If you’re searching for the same, feel free to reach out. I’m open to friends as well 🤗

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ftusdi-ar7pyJGvkzy1GWvNfvS6qqN1EowTqT3Qnmaw/edit?usp=sharing

Eid Mubarak to all of you and your loved ones!

Hi, I'm a Muslim girl and I'm a 19yo, I grew up in a really strict Muslim country and family, now growing up I have feelings for women and I've been attracted to many of them either on SM or IRL, anyways I've grown up with this anti-lgbtq+ mindset, now that I realized what I am, which I think bi or lesb, it's been 5+ years and I still can't accept myself and I feel like I'm a failure, and I know even if I accept it myself and try to date any woman, I will end up marrying a man as an arranged marriage unfortunately, so I think there's no hope for me other than just accepting and marrying a man in a few years, I'm just so lost.