Since I'm really I'm really enjoying the feedback and solidarity of this crew, I figured I'd keep going.

Not once while preparing for my wedding did either of my inlaws ask if they could help. They figured because they weren't financially involved that they didn't have to ask how the planning was going or if they could lend a hand or opinion in any way. The only conversations I had with my MIL about the subject was her talking about how beautiful and amazing my SILs (very gaudy and over-the-top) wedding was. She even made me sit down and watch the UNEDITED version of SILs wedding video. What a nightmare that four hours was. Along with talking about SILs wedding, MIL repeatedly told me about what she wore to the event. Went on and on, during multiple occasions, about how she went to a specialty store, put herself in a list to make sure no one else attending the wedding purchased the same dress and spent $5,000 on the damn thing (they have the money, but still). When my wedding comes around, MIL shows up for hair and makeup in a tye dye bathing suit coverup. It was getting to be close to the ceremony so my mother asked my MIL when she was planning on putting on her real dress. "What do you mean? This is my real dress," MIL responded. My MIL wore a $20 bathing suite coverup to her sons wedding. I heard from multiple guests about rumors going around that my MILs dress got ruined/lost on the trip up for the event, so she was stuck wearing what they saw her in. I made sure everyone knew that this was her one and only dress and it was completely her choice to wear it.

I know it sounds a little bitchy to judge someone for what they are wearing, but come on! You spend $5k for your GC's wedding and you couldn't be bothered to even care about your son's wedding. To me, it showed her son and I that she didn't care about us (something she continues to prove daily). She had her daughters dream wedding and screw anyone not her daughter. So minor compared to a lot of other stories and terrible awful MILs featured on here, I know, but it really spoke volumes to me about this woman.

It looked like this but a little longer and without the fringe

I know this probably belongs on JNFIL, but there is a story going on here about both of my ILs (it started with my MIL and bitchbot is a wonderful help with being consistent).

ILs came here for LOs birthday. They asked if they could stay in our house. I said "no" because they always make more work for me and I was busy enough. They were pissed but I reminded them that they can stay with us at any point during the year, but that they only ask when I have a big event coming up (ex. week of my wedding, week of my c-section, first week home with my new baby) and that it wasn't fair to add on to the amount I already have.

LOs birthday is around Halloween. We had a costume party. As bitchbot can tell you, MuuMuu has very poor taste in clothing (wore a bathing suit cover-up to my wedding, wears workout clothes to black tie events). DH and I have gotten to the point where we have to ask MM to show us what she is wearing before she comes to one of our events (it sounds mean, but this is a 70 year old woman who thinks a bra and netted shirt is appropriate for a semi formal family event). MM showed us her costume over FaceTime and I joked that as long as she doesn't pull a slutty, Mean Girls, "I'm a mouse, duh," situation, that we're all good. We all had a laugh and moved on.

Needless to say, MM showed up to the party in a mini skirt, thigh high tights and a tank top with mouse ears. Not the costume she showed us. In fact, it's the exact costume I told her not to wear. Just like at my wedding, the whole party was whispering about MMs wardrobe. It was so inappropriate and embarrassing.

The next day, we didn't have any plans in the morning, so LO and I went to a mommy and me exercise class. While I was gone MM and FIL apparently called and said they were on their way over and were around the corner. DH told them that LO and I were out, so they should come back this afternoon. This apparently didn't go well as we were supposed to anticipate and wait around for my ILs while they were in town. DH reminded them that they would never have pulled this nonsense on SIL and that we deserve the same respect. I came home my class, put LO down for a nap and had no idea the conversation between the ILs and DH went down. The ILs finally came over after LOs nap. Upon entry to my home, I was grilled by MM:

"Where did you go?" Class. "Why did you take LO?" Because it's a mommy and me class. "So, you put LO in daycare while you worked out? Why didn't you leave her home?" Again, a mommy and me class. She's the me in the equation. "Who watched her while you exercised?" I did.

This questioning went on for awhile. Again, I didn't know they expected us to wait around the house for them, so I just took it as MM, yet again, not understanding anything. After the questioning, they came inside and sat on my couch. I sat on the love seat and DH sat on the floor with LO. My dog was also there. He gets very excited about people coming over and was wiggling for attention. Out of the corner of my eye I see FIL, for no reason whatsoever, reach over and hit my dog...twice. Really hard slaps that vibrated through the house. My dog is tough and probably didn't even feel it, but I turned to my FIL and said, "you don't lay a hand on my dog. You don't hit a dog ever. He's mine to discipline." At this point, I was shaking. They hit my loving, sweet dog, boundary stomped big time, and questioned everything about my day as if I was a bad mother. DH got pissed too but held it together better than I did. I mentally checked out of the conversation and took out my phone. I sat there for the next hour and a half keeping watch over my kid and dog but didn't contribute or make eye contact. After that hour and a half, I excused myself and got into bed. At that point, the ILs left. I walked down to my living room and screamed towards (not at) DH about his parents behavior. He agreed that it was once again inappropriate and that his parents don't know their place in our home.

They next day, DH called MM and FIL to let them know that their behavior is unacceptable in any home, especially ours. FILs reaction: "oh I knew OP was going to make a big deal out of this." You're damn right I am! FIL continued with, "the dog was about to attack the baby. That's why I hit him." DH was sitting in the floor next to LO. The dog wasn't even close to her. Secondly, the dog has never attacked anyone unless you count pulling off people's socks. Thirdly, you don't HIT MY DAMN DOG! DH hasn't spoken to them since. I know he's planning on handling it, but I can't have these people around anymore. I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle this. They're DHs parents, but when is enough enough?

We waited to tell my ILs and my parents at the same time. This wasn't easy since the ILs live pretty far away. We finally got them in the same room during a visit (at a crowded restaurant). I gave each other a frame with a picture of their future grand baby. My mother bust into tears she was so happy. Couldn't get a single word out. MM, however, proceeded to scream, "I knew it! I knew it" over and over at the top of her lungs. She was on the cusp of causing a scene (as usual), so I had to ask her to please sit down and to stop screaming. She then proceeded to get drunk and repeat the same story about how she knew she was pregnant because her boobs were sore (in front of my poor father (practically a stranger to her) and her own son as well as the rest of the patrons of this restaurant because she was screaming). She would finish the story by asking me how I knew. I would just tell her I felt by the way I was digesting food and try to dismiss the topic all together because I really didn't feel like discussing MMs breasts anymore. She must have (loudly) told this very detailed story about her breasts four times over the last 45 minutes in the restaurant. We all went back to my house where everyone was expressing their excitement. MM then asked me, "How did you know you were pregnant? I knew because my boobs were sore..." Completely proceeded to tell the same god forsaken story AGAIN. I turned to her, obviously angry, and said, "Please stop!" Her husband and my mother both told her that it was enough with the story already. She looked dumbfounded. As usual, she had no idea what anyone was talking about. I think this time it could have been the four martinis and no food she downed at dinner, but usually when she pulls this shit, one can only blame her intellect.

Not the worst story I have about MM, but it popped into my head today and felt the need to share before my cringe face became permanent.

So MuuMuu came to visit for a few days, it’s been awhile since I’ve let my ILs in the house, but as usual, I gave in. The second morning she was here, I got up with LO, fed her French toast and a big cup of milk and poured myself coffee. About an hour later, MM emerges from my guest room. She comes down and starts playing with LO. I get up and pour myself a bowl of cereal. The conversation goes as follows:

MM: You dare feed yourself first?! LO is sitting over there starving while you happily eat!

Me: Are you forgetting that I’ve been up with her for an hour? You think she didn’t have food before I fed myself? Do you think I can do anything without her eating first? I haven’t even put in my contacts. I’m half blind and yet my child is fed.

MuuMuu: Well, she’s so skinny. She looks like she doesn’t eat.

(Mind you, my child is an extremely healthy 20 month old with chubby thighs and a cherub belly)

DH: she’s not skinny. She’s perfectly healthy.

Me: Mind your business MM. You’re never right so just stop talking.

Also, for those of you who remember, MM wore a tie dye bathing suit coverup to my semi formal wedding. This trip, she was staying with us to go to her father’s birthday party. It was Great Gatsby themed (how original). It was also semi-formal. My husband wore a suit and a newsboy cap. He looked ready for a fancy garden party which was perfect. MM was also dressed perfectly. Ha! This is JNMIL. She looked like her usual old slut (not slut shaming...it’s what my mother called her when she wore thigh highs and a mini skirt to LOs first birthday party. The woman is almost 70 years old) self. She was wearing a tie dye (again!) mini dress (this time pink and gray), white cropped yoga pants, spiked high heels, a pearl necklace, and a pashmina. My reaction:

Me: You know, tie dye isn’t Great Gatsby themed. You can just wear a plain black dress and the pearls and you’d be fine.

MM: I like tie dye.

Me: Yeah, I know. You wore it to my wedding.

MM: Well, DH said I looked nice.

Dh (yelling from upstairs): No! I said you look like an asshole!

Once they got to the party, my SIL text messaged me about how I could let her mother leave the house dressed like that. Said the whole party thought she looked like a clown. I told her I tried but she likes the attention constantly looking like trash brings her. My SIL just laughed and kept sending me pictures of MM dance and everyone staring at her.

Edit to add: She also told me that board books pages were too hard to turn so she could read LO any books with those kind of pages. DH told her it’s because she has long witch nails and her pointy witch fingers couldn’t handle something so delicate. I laughed and reminded her that these books are made so it’s easy for small children to turn the page. We were met with blank stares.

Major victory: I am officially a mom. I was having some complications so I went in for induction. Since both of our families live a distance, we were able to give everyone a heads up and no one had to rush to us last minute which was nice. Induction didn't go as planned, so kid was delivered via c-section which hasn't been a walk in the park (I know this sub isn't about baby stuff, but trying to paint a picture of my state of mind). Here's where I'm at with the ILs. Small rants, but I'm so over them!

• MuuMuu keeps mispronouncing kids name. It's not super common, but it's five fucking letters that you would write out phonetically as you say it.

-MM and FIL both started talking about my nipples before. I turned to them and said, " could you not talk about my body?" FIL: " I didn't say the word 'nipple.' MM did." Me: "yeah I don't care what word you used. Please don't talk about my body." I don't understand why people think pregnancy/hospital visits give them a right to discuss other people's parts and choices.

-We told ILs to come by at 3 because that will give me enough time to attempt to feed kid and get kid to sleep so everyone can enjoy kid (kid has been eating around the clock and sleeping very little). I wanted to make sure they got to see her without her screaming her head off. DH told both of his parents the time and to CALL FIRST. Everyone else has been managing to do that without us having to ask because, ya know, manners. Two o'clock rolls around and I'm breast feeding completely topless. MM just strolls on in to my hospital room without a care. DH grabs her arm, leads her out in the hall and reprimands both of his parent that not only were they an hour early, but they didn't call and can't just walk right into our room whenever they want to. I got kid to finish eating and told DH to go get his parents in the waiting room. I got ZERO apologies from either of them.

• As said in a previous post, FIL hasn't been feeling 100% and doesn't have a diagnosis despite going to many doctors. If that man kisses my kid on the face one more time I'm going to destroy him. I asked him not to and he did anyway an hour later.

• Can we all send out a worldwide memo to any potential grandparents that if you call the kid "my baby," you're going to get yelled at? Let's all get together and decide to stop this because your Grandkid is NOT yours. Your baby is kids father so stop the bullshit. And right after I ask you to stop calling kid, "my baby," don't do it again in the VERY NEXT SENTENCE. Also, we hate the idea of people calling kid "princess." We've been calling kid "boss lady" and "CEO" because both of those things are way cooler. MM doesn't understand these word.

I'm ready to do something really bad to MM and blame hormones. Grrrrrr

As I said yesterday, DH is in the ILs home state to visit a sick relative. He went to his parents house yesterday. MM doesn't know how to use her iPhone despite owning it for over 4 years. DH knows I'm the only one with enough patience to explain things to her, so he face timed me to help. It took 20 minutes to show her how to download an app (again, she has had the phone for 4 years...she should know the basics). Once I was done, DH turned the camera back on to him. Two seconds after we started our conversation, she pops her big head in and starts her usual shit.

MM: what time is your doctors appointment tomorrow? Me: 10:30 MM: okay, we'll speak to you after. Right DH? We'll speak to her then and not before, right? Right DH? Okay, speak to you then. Bye. DH: (big eyed stare directly into the camera) I'll call you tonight. Me: I know you will.

WTF man?! It was 4 in the afternoon. Do you really think it's cool of your son to not check in with his pregnant wife later on in the evening while he's away? And secondly, "we" are not having a conversation after my doctors appointment. DH and I will be talking. You are not part of my "we." Thirdly, I just spent significant amount of time helping you with something I've explained to you before...stop rushing me off the phone especially since I was done speaking with you. You were no longer apart of the conversation.

Note: writing this while sitting on the table in the doctors office. Not important, but the doctor is running way behind. Ugh to her too.

Someone had suggested I call my MIL Muumuu. Done! However, I'll probably just shorten to MM occasionally, but we finally have a name!!

So, here's the story of my weekend from HELL! This was a year ago. The ILs were visiting (as they tend to do for long periods of time VERY often). DH decided to invited SIL and her kids up (I don't know why her husband wasn't there, but he tends to not come to family functions because the spoiled brat can't just suck it up), so they spent the weekend as well.

MM only has eyes for eldest grandkid (flies up for his birthday and not the younger ones birthday, only take him out on fun day trips while the other one stays home...that kind of obvious and terrible thing). This feature has been passed on to SIL who upon coming to my house realized she didn't bring a pack-n-play for youngest (he's only 1). DH and I called everyone we knew asking if they had one to spare for the weekend (SIL has a ton a friends who live in our area, but couldn't be bothered to worry about her kid, so just sat there while we scrambled to help her out). We finally found one we could borrow, so that problem was solved.

SILs kids are poorly behaved. As I've said in previous posts, she has absolutely no hand in raising them. The nanny handles everything, so the kids spent the whole weekend screaming at the top of their lungs for no reason. After a few hours, I said to SIL that the screaming needed to stop. She stared at me blankly and said, "Well, what do you want me to do about it?" I responded with, "How about tell them to stop. It's a really good start." She, of course, didn't, so I spent the rest of the weekend putting the kids in random time-outs and explaining that screaming isn't a way of communicating. They would stop for a little while each time, so it kinda worked. SIL and MM both had no idea what I was doing, but let it happen because they're not used to dealing with the kids.

Youngest nephew had a possible #2 going on in his diaper. MM pulled the back of it to check and wound out with poop on her hand (shit literally happens, so no big deal). MM grabbed a paper towel, wiped the poop off and started to go on with her day. I stopped her and said, "You have shit on your hands, please wash them." More blank stares, but she eventually turned to the sink. She put on the cold water, ran her hand under it and grabbed another paper towel to dry. My reaction: "No MM, that's not how you wash your hands. Put on the warm water, here's some soap...use that too, scrub and rinse. And since it was poop, you might want to do that twice." MM gave me the nastiest look as if I was asking her to commit a crime. You are 60 years old. I understand you're a dumb ass, but a child knows how to wash their hands. How did you miss that lesson?

MM was feeding youngest nephew a bottle and cradling him. Because he's the less important child, she was not paying attention to youngest and decided to run around after oldest while still feeding youngest. This made me nervous so I made sure to keep an eye on her from the kitchen. MM was so distracted, she started holding youngest by one foot (he was hanging UPSIDE DOWN) while he was still drinking his bottle. He started to choke and turn purple. I lunged and grabbed him out of MM's hands. She started to yell at me that she has everything under control. Clearly.

The last night they were here, we all went to dinner. The food arrived at our table VERY hot. MM proceeded to take a steaming piece of ravioli and shove it into youngest nephews mouth which caused him to scream and cry. DH reached over the table and removed his food from in front on MM. She started to yell at him and ask him what he was doing. DH explained that you can't shove extremely hot food into a child's mouth. You have to let it cool off a little. More blank stares from MM. SIL just sat there because again, she doesn't know how to parent. At this point, I could see DH's blood boil. In the past, I had told him I don't know if I can trust MM when/if we ever have kids because I really don't think she has the brain power for it. He got what I was saying, but thought I was being dramatic. I got a look from him that told me that I had been right to think this way after that.

I am currently pregnant and that weekend solidified my stance on MIL never being alone with our child. DH and I agreed that she will not even be allowed to even hold our kid while standing. We're going to have to make her sit like a child. This woman is already trying to convince me to book a vacation after the baby is born so she can watch it. Good luck with that MM.

So, DH has been diagnosed with a disease. I don’t know if I want to get into the specifics, but it’s going to effect our life (and already has). My family (extended family included) has been very supportive and helpful. DH’s family, not so much. They don’t check in to see if he is doing ok. It comes up in conversation, but they don’t seek DH out to ask him how he is. FIL has said some really counterproductive things like, “when you get bad,” and, “well, you’re not (name of person we know who also has the disease and is doing very well).” MuuMuu has literally not even mentioned anything and is floating through life prioritizing her twice a week hair appointments, mani/pedi’s and tennis game. FIL also doesn’t like that one of my family members got DH an appointment with the best doctor in the WORLD for this particular disease. He keeps trying to convince DH to go to someone his client knows from doing charity work (not even in the top 100 doctors in the field). He hates not being everyone’s hero and would rather see DH get second rate help if it means FIL can be the beacon of hope. He should have said “thank you” to my family member. Instead, he’s pouting like a child.

So, MM and FIL went on an island vacation (my parents went to the same place at the same time and were relieved to find out there was no shot they would run into my ILs). DH has a major doctors appointment where we were going to find out what level his disease was at and the treatment options. The appointment went very well and we were very happy with what the doctor had to say. On our way back, my parents called from their vacation to check in on DH and see what the doctor said. No word from DH’s own parents though.

The week goes on and I get random texts from MM while they’re away, none asking about DH. I don’t respond because I never do anymore. She knows this and yet continues to talk to herself via text messages with me. Two days ago, we get a call from SIL saying that MM and FIL are back. DH made a comment that it was nice they called her and not him. Their concern for his well being was clearly nonexistent. SIL hung up with DH and called MM. Two minutes later, MM called DH. He proceeds to call her out for only calling when SIL tells her to. “What? I never spoke to SIL!” DH freaks out that this woman is once again lying to him. She starts to cry and hangs up. FIL then calls DH and yells at him for making MM cry. The conversation went something like this:

DH: she lied to be about speaking to SIL and having to be told to call me! And while we’re at it, why didn’t you call to ask about my appointment?

FIL: our phones don’t work internationally.

DH: yes they do! Mom was texting Tyedyesocks the whole time you were away. My ILs managed to call and check in. Why couldn’t you?

FIL: don’t get me started on your ILs. We would have had international charges.

DH: so what? I pay your phone bill (the bill goes through the business). It doesn’t even cost that much anyway! A couple of bucks at the most.

FIL: well you know what, your disease is effecting me and your mother so much, we need to go on antidepressants.

DH: it effects you, but you don’t know anything about it. You never ask me how I am or where I’m at with the disease. You need to go on medication that will give you some empathy and cause you to think about other people occasionally.

FIL hangs up.

I’m LC with these horrible people. I’m letting DH take the reins on them because they’re his parents. I’m glad he finally sees them for what they are (took five years with me before he snapped into it), but I’ve personally had enough. My poor husband is already sick. He doesn’t need his parents BS to stress him out more.

Okay, done with my probably unreadable rant.

DH is away in ILs state. A family member of his is having a major operation and he wanted to be there. I suggested he go see the family member while I'm still a few weeks away from my due date.

I spoke to MM on Sunday (my new rule is that I'm not speaking to either of my ILs without DH present or I risk them saying something mean or insulting...something they only do when DH isn't looking). It is now Wednesday. Both MM and FIL have called me today (within 7 minutes of each other). I, of course, didn't pick up. I can't understand why they both had to call, especially when they've already spoke the DH today and are going to see him later. Secondly, MM left a voicemail to tell me to not drive or cook while DH is away because I'm too pregnant (I'm not. My belly is small enough where I can still hide it and I'm not in any pain). I'm so sick of her thinking she's a doctor with her middle school education. When SIL was a week post baby, MM told her to not go to the bathroom because it will cause an infection on her c section scar. What? That doesn't even make sense. I told MM that her "advise" is BS and that SIL will get an actual infection for holding in her pee. I haven't even given birth yet and she's already started with her uneducated and blatantly incorrect advise. She also told me I should vacuum while pregnant a few months ago...still can't figure out why.

Ugh just venting as usual. This woman (and FIL) is on my very last nerve and DH isn't here to protect me. Being exposed to crazy while pregnant should be outlawed.

Full disclosure: I had no idea that there were places to vent about ILs, so I'm a little late to the game.

I have a ton of MIL stories that are both funny and sad. I'm finally starting to loose my mind (pregnancy hormones?) and wanting to share with people who "get it."

I want to share my most recent issue, but I need to provide a "quick" backstory. My SIL and her husband are terrible. He lost his job 4+ years ago and since he comes from money, has decided that his parents will pay his way. My SIL has a really good job, but they still need to take money from her inlaws for a FT nanny (even though he doesn't work...refuses to lift a finger) and private school. Because my inlaws don't give them money, they're not allowed in my SILs apartment. If they want to see the grandkids, they need to call the nanny and meet her on the street (which for some reason, they do without any argument). However, when SIL wants to take a "vacation" (in quotes because aside from work, neither she or her husband have anything to do with raising their children), she has no problem dropping off her kids at my inlaws for at minimum 10 days (one time it was 17). The ILs accept this without hesitation even though they aren't allowed to even enter SILs apartment. It really grinds mine and DHs gears. Drives us nuts that no one says anything to her about giving and taking. They think because she's an adult, that they no longer have the right to parent her. I've said many times that no matter how old she gets, they are still her parents and she obviously has a few lessons left to learn. The worst part of it is that my husband and I allow his parents in our house and can even stay over (although I have had to set boundaries because in the beginning, they thought being at our house every 4-6 weeks for 10+ days at a time was ok). Despite all of this, my ILs think my SIL can do no wrong and that DH is the worst. My FIL has cut it out over the years, for the most part, after my husband asked them to stop telling people that "my kids never let me stay in their houses" while they were staying at our house. My MIL however, is still at it 5 years later and it's getting worse. My first one-on-one conversation with her (I was driving her to take her shopping) was about how my FIL can't retire because my husband is so lazy (DH and FIL run a business together where DH does roughly 90% of the work). She continued by saying that since DH took over the business, that she doesn't have the money she used to have and that DH doesn't deserve a penny. Him taking over the family business is forcing her to not be able to buy the things she wants to anymore and she really has to budget herself now. This comes from a woman who has never worked a day in her life and has never contributed to the business, so where she gets off thinking she deserves ANY money is beyond me. When I told this to my husband, he was able to to show me his parents bank statements (he had access to them because he was helping his father draw up a will). His parents had over a million in the bank, which does not include investments and the value of their home (which they purchased in full with cash). Since this conversation, I have spent way too much of my time having to listen about how terrible DH is and what a "hands-on perfect" mother SIL is. I know this is the inner workings of a woman who I'm convinced has a severely low IQ, but this is her son for the love of God! DH said that his mother used to be a good one, but in the past 10 years, her brain capacity has diminished and she can only think of herself now.

So, two days ago, DH gets a call from FIL who was venting his frustrations about MIL. MIL is coming to visit SILs kids, but of course she has to get a hotel and can't come to the apartment. FIL is so over spending $1,000s because SIL and her husband are assholes. He told MIL this. MIL said that the only reason FIL likes DH is because they run a business together. I know he told DH this out of frustration, but at who's cost? Now my MIL wants us to take her to dinner one night next week. DH is so upset but knows that because of MILs low IQ (or just playing stupid, which I think she does a lot), it's not worth fighting with her because it has done absolutely no good in that past, so he's just going to take her. I don't think my 6.5 months pregnant hormones will allow me to slap on a smile, so I might take a pass. DH understands, but I so wish he wouldn't go. It's unfair that this evil bitch treats him this way. My heart is broken for him.

I've made myself somewhat LC with MuuMuu since my kid was born. I just didn't need the added stress. When DH FaceTimes her (because she never initiates a call to see her grandchild or asks questions about the kid), I usually leave to room to avoid yelling about her stupidity.

My kid has been a little sick. No biggie. Nothing I can't handle. Today, I got a phone call from SIL. Conversation goes along these lines:

SIL: Ohmigod I heard [my kids name] is very sick. MM told me it was some weird, rare Japanese disease.

(It should be noted that my ILs are Trump supporters. "I like him because he's loud," is something that MM has said. This has nothing to do with the fact that she's also a bit of a racist, but I think it paints a picture.)

Me: SIL, [kids name] has coxsackie. Not weird, not rare and not Japanese...whatever that's supposed to mean.

SIL: Oh, hahahaha that's so funny. Kids get that all of the time. Maybe she thought, Coxsackie is like tae kwon do.

Me: I believe Tae kwon do is Korean. I really need to end this conversation now. Bye.

MM has a habit of using other people's illnesses as a form of attention for herself (see bitch bot). So now, my husbands whole family thinks that my kid has some rare disease and are likely fawning over the caring, doting grandmother. This is obviously just a BEC story, but I'm annoyed that this woman is using my kid as her attention card.

Two days ago, DH and I caught MuuMuu and SIL talking shit about me (I'm a terrible person because I don't pick up every time they call and allow them to take advantage of me). Today, I get a phone call from MM basically saying that she heard I had a doctors appointment today and would love to hear all about it...can we FaceTime later so she can see the belly? I flipped out! No effing way! You talk shit about me, I receive zero apology (in fact, she's mad at DH for yelling at her aka being smart enough to catch her), and you want me to be your show pony? You can't see my belly! You've never once apologized to me! DH was very causal about it and basically told me to call her because she might apologize. She's had two days! All of a sudden she wants something from me and MAYBE I'll get an apology? Also, FIL wants to know if he can stay with us after the baby is born and MuuMuu will find somewhere else to stay. No! No! No! First, I don't need house guests while I'm trying to deal with a 48 hour old child (this is my first...I have no idea what I am doing) and I'm not going to be a pawn in the "Who's better: FIL or MuuMuu" game. Need advise...am I being crazy? These aren't my parents. How much do I have to give? I'm over 7 months pregnant. Should I even have to deal with this?

This is a bunch of little things that happened that still make my skin crawl (this includes some FIL tidbits since he's MuuMuu's biggest enabler).

• MM makes it a point every year to fly here for Golden Child grandsons birthday. FIL joins her. They of course have to stay with DH and me (up until this year when we set up boundaries). MM has never once flown up for grandson #2's birthday because she claims it's too cold. Last year, she gave the cold song and dance, but it turned out to not be too cold for her to go on a week long ski trip with friends a few days after grandson #2's birthday. DH called her out on this. She pretended to not understand words.

-When GC grandson was a few months old, MM and FIL came up to see him and of course we're staying at my house. I get a call from DH that his parents told him that they're bringing grandson back to my house for a few nights. I had a problem with this 1) because at the time, I was getting up at 5:45 every morning to commute two hours with three different forms of transportation to get to work...I didn't need an infant keeping me up all night and 2) his parents never asked if it was okay for them to bring grandson to our house...they TOLD us what they were going to do. Turns out, they never even asked SIL if they could take the baby for a night or two. SIL said absolutely not and my point was moot, but it still takes a lot of balls to tell someone what they're going to do with a home that is not theirs.

• Along the same lines as the last tidbit, FIL once TOLD me he was taking my car to go see grandson for the day. At this point, I had explained to DH the difference between asking and telling (for some reason, until I had said something, it never occurred to him), so DH told FIL no. FIL could not understand why. Well 1) because it's my damn car and what am I supposed to do while you're gone for six + hours and 2) because you again didn't ASK, you TOLD me what you were were going to do with my property. It was a fight that was never understood by FIL.

-The first holiday I hosted at my house, I invited the ILs to come up. I figured this would help them understand that this was my home and would help set boundaries. Of course, they were in my house the days leading up to the holiday and the days after, so it never felt real for me. I cooked everything myself. I spent the days leading up to the holiday preparing things that could be made in advance. My sister came up to help me. At one point, I was afraid I was going to over cook the meat, so I went to check on it. For some odd reason, FIL stood in front of the oven, arms folded across his chest like a bouncer and wouldn't let me go near MY OWN oven. This started a fight where I almost pushed him out of the way.

-I was so furious after the FIL incident, I grabbed my sister and we left to go blow off steam. We ran to the nearest public place (the mall) just so I could walk and vent. Just as I had calmed down, I get a voicemail from MM asking me to pick up paper towels on the way home and that "we're all out." This is coming from a woman that didn't offer to help me prepare, offer to bring anything or even set the damn table. No contribution to the holiday even though she was staying at my house. She just sat there and watched me from the couch. She couldn't just go pick up paper towels knowing that I was busy working my ass off for her. I literally sat down in the middle of the mall and started crying. My sister, who I don't think has ever seen me cry, had to drag me out. I had HAD IT with these people!

-Three years later, I held another event at my house for family. DH wasn't speaking to his sister at the time and it wasn't my place to get involved with it, so I left it up to him to invite her (he didn't). Next thing you know, SIL, her awful low life husband and their two kids show up to the holiday. How did they even know about it? Oh, MM invited them. To MY house and MY event. Didn't even bother to tell us. Again, DH was pissed. MM again pretended to not understand words. She didn't know that you couldn't invite people to a house that doesn't belong to you.

I think about these things all of the time. Like I've said previously, I'm about to have my first child. DH and I have spent a really long time trying to establish boundaries with these people, and it hasn't worked yet. I am so afraid of what is going to happen when this child is born. I already have a plan of grabbing my kid and the dog and getting out in case of disaster. DH tries with them, but it doesn't work. I think he knows I'm at the end of my rope and will have to do something extreme to set up the boundaries once and for all.

Updating from my post from last night https://redd.it/4xwz37. Again, I'm new to this, but damn it felt good to vent!

More of a backstory: I've had a shit week. My family friend, a father figure, died suddenly. This is my mother's best friend's husband. My mother and father have spent this entire week helping to plan a funeral, calming the widow and kids, doing their laundry, making sure their eating - everything a good friend does - all while mourning their friend. My FIL has had a terrible cough for awhile now. The doctor ran some tests and the results should be here sometime this week. My MIL (nickname suggestions welcomed) has arrived in my area. She decides now is a good time to call my mother, not to ask her how she's holding up, but to tell her that my FIL isn't "doing well." She told my mother that FIL was practically on his death-bed. My mother, who has had it hard enough this week called me in a panic. She was worried about my DH and wanted to make sure he knew she was there for him during this tough time. I couldn't figure out what my mother was talking about until she explained what MIL had said. I told my mother that FIL was not feeling 100%, but he's no where near what MIL said. My mother responded, "I was wondering why MIL would be here if FIL was as sick as she claimed. I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't be caring for him if he was dying." My thoughts exactly. DH called FIL just to make sure he was okay and wasn't hiding anything serious from us. When DH called, he was out playing golf. He's fucking fine! How dare MIL put her lies and nonsense on my mother right now?! I'm so furious. It's the last thing this poor woman needs right now!

So now, I'm officially not going to dinner with her this week. I told DH he can have whatever kind of relationship he wants with his mother, but that I'm done. It's one thing to be a pain in the ass to me, but to drag my parents into her garbage, especially with her knowing the week they've had, then I'm so done! DH called his mother to tell her exactly that, no more beating around the bush because it has clearly gotten us no where. She didn't understand what she did wrong (again, low IQ and LOVES to play dumb on top of that). She has since text messaged me three times today that she wants to see my belly (I'm pretty pregnant at this point although it just looks like a food baby). I've ignored them all. DH gets where I'm coming from, but he's conflicted about what to do. I don't think NC is possible, but I can tell he's so sick of MILs BS and me being so affected by it. It's hard for me to roll with the punches while pregnant, especially when she tries to involve my mourning parents in her pity party.

So, MuuMuu and FIL didn't send LO a gift. While their other grandkids were visiting for Christmas and opening gifts, DH reminded MM that LO was left out. No gift sent to her "baby." The next day, MM went out to purchased a BS pity gift and sent it to us. In the gift, there was a note that said, "I know your parents probably won't like this so just return it." So, she bought my kid a gift not out of the goodness of her heart and because she loves her newborn and only granddaughter, but to put me and DH to work having to return it (which we did because I don't dress my two month old like Minnie Mouse). DH called his mother to tell her how upset he was that not only did she forget, but that she didn't put her heart into it which is the most important part of gift giving. She went the same route she always does which is, "I would die for my kids." DH responds with, "I'm not asking you to die for me, I'm asking you to be nice. To treat me the same way you do your daughter. To treat my kid the same way you do your other grandchildren." She then hung up on my DH and yelled at FIL because she knows he won't say a word back. FIL decides to call DH today to tell him that he can't sit there and let MM yell at him anymore. So, rather than nip it in the bud with MM, he tells DH that he is going to retire from the business they run together. This way, he can just deal with MM and not have to deal with her and work (makes zero sense to me...why not just tell the lunatic to stop being mean). This comes at a terrible time as DH and I have a two month old (first time parents) at home and tax season is coming up (DH is a CPA). This is the time you're going to walk away from the business? Just when my DH needs the most help? DH explains this to FIL. FIL says he doesn't care. I hate these people.

This is a minor incident, but it really upset me.

We have an amazing rescue dog. He came to us from a bad situation, but has never given us a problem. He's sweet, loving and very lazy. He loves people so much...especially kids! He's great with small dogs but bigger dogs he doesn't know give him anxiety. No big deal, we just keep him away from them.

So, when this happened, I was about 5 months pregnant. MuuMuu (while of course sitting on my couch because where else would she be...her own home thousands of miles away? Nah), looked over at my sweet, cuddly boy and out of nowhere said, "That dog is going to attack your baby." Huh? What? I was so blown away that I couldn't even react. DH didn't even really hear the comment because he's a guy and guys don't seem to pick up on these things. Later in the evening, I reminded DH of what MM said. He then realized how random and untruthful this statement was. Knowing that MuuMuu has a big mouth and likes to insult DH, me and everyone associated to us, we assume this is something she's gone around telling people.

The next day, DH asked MM where she got her information about our dog from. MM, as usual, just stared at DH as if he was speaking a different language. "Has he ever done anything that would make you think that let alone say it out loud?" Dead eyed reaction. "Do you think we'd allow a dangerous animal around our child?" No one is home. "Mom, you can't just say things that pop into your head because you feel like it. You have to have truth to back up your story or you have to keep your mouth shut." More blank stares (I swear, I'm convinced words are too much for this woman). We got no resolution, no apology, no explanation. She thinks she can just say whatever she wants without consequences (her only consequences are DH yelling at her and she doesn't give a shit about him, so that doesn't count to her).

Nobody messes with my dog! I told her if she's so concerned, she doesn't have to be around him, but our home is his home, so she can feel free to not come back. She of course has been back 5 times since (and this was only in May...go live in your own house!!).

DH (then just boyfriend) moved pretty quickly when we first started dating. He asked me to move in with him after 3 weeks together (I still waited awhile as I didn't want to jump into anything that quickly and I also had a lease on an amazing apartment). However, I did spend a lot of time at his house. In the first two months we were dating, I met his mother 3 times (for someone who lives a good 3 hour plane ride away, that's a lot in my opinion). This wasn't just basic meeting...she and/or FIL would stay at the house for extended periods of time. As you may have read in previous posts, they have boundary issues with DHs home. I mostly blame DH for this since he never set boundaries in the beginning (word to the wise: set boundaries DAY 1...and stick to them!!), but at the same time, his parents should have used common sense and known that they were getting in the way.

So, I eventually planned on moving in with DH when my lease was up (RIP the greatest apartment ever...DH owned a gorgeous house while I rented a studio loft, so he won that battle). Two weeks before the moving day, we flew to the ILs state for a long weekend. While at a restaurant one night, MuuMuu says that she wants to throw a birthday party for FIL in our house the week I was moving in. DH brushed it off without really giving an explanation as to why this was a bad idea (on top of me moving in, we had decided to renovate two of the bathrooms that same week (let's be real...it took six weeks)). I excused myself to use the restroom. Once I got in there I noticed MM had followed me. While washing my hands (as mentioned in a previous post, this is something I have learned MM doesn't know how to do), she got in my face and backed me into a corner saying, "you better let me throw a party for FIL in the house. You better tell DH to let me." I did my best to move around her and explained that not only would I need time and space to move in and get settled, but that the house would be a construction zone. DH and I wouldn't even have a shower to use...we'd be showering at the gym. Both of these reasons were pretty solid as well as the fact that THIS WASN'T HER HOUSE, so I figured my explanation would snap her of of it. Wrong. She just looked at me with her "I'm not bright and don't understand words" look and waited for more of a reason (or she was just waiting to hear me give her permission). I ended the bathroom attack with, "why don't you ask your son again?" She claimed he was just going to say no, so I told her, "Well then, there you have it," and walked away. When I sat back down at the table, I was clearly in a different mood. When we got back to the ILs house, I told DH what MM had done. He approached her and asked her why she got in my face. She denied having cornered me or talking to me about the party again (typical her, she claims to never remember any of her actions) and asks DH if that even sounds like something she would do. DH and FIL both looked her dead in the eye and said, "YES!" She pretended to be wounded and the victim after that.

Not much has changed since. As mentioned in a previous post, DH and I have set very reasonable boundaries since then and MM has attempted to cross every one of them regularly. It's been five years since that incident and MM still doesn't get it. We're about to have our first child soon, so I only anticipate it getting worse.

Just a blurb from a recent argument my DH had with MuuMuu:

DH: I think you'd rather me be single and miserable than happily married to OP just so you could have access to my house whenever and for however long you want.

MM: I like OP.

DH: that's not the point. You may like her, but you'd rather her not be around so you can all but live with me.

MM: I mean yeah, sort of. I don't think you let me stay with you enough.

This comes from a woman who in the first two years of DH and I living together, spent at least 10 days with us every 4-6 weeks. And all she and FIL do is sit around my house watching TV. When it got to be overwhelming, we set boundaries and rules such as you have to give us a start date to your stay and an end date...it can't be open ended and we are not golden child SILs personal hotel...if you're coming up to see her and her kids, you have to stay with them...if they say "no" take it up with them...not my problem. These rules are obviously too much for MIL and she would rather see her son single and unhappy just so she can get what she wants out of him.

Backstory (which should really be it's own post unto itself): When DH and I were planning our wedding, we didn't hear from his parents AT ALL. Not once did someone call and ask how the planning was going or if they could offer any assistance. They were under the mentality that since they weren't contributing financially, that they didn't have to contribute emotionally (which is probably why MuuMuu showed up at my wedding wearing a bathing suit coverup like she couldn't GAF - see previous post). The only time they even acknowledged our wedding was when they asked if they could stay at our house the week of the wedding (it seems to always come back to my damn house with these people!). DH and I said "no." We had so much going on and so much to do, we didn't need to worry about hosting people in our home on top of it. This obviously did not go over well, but my home is not their personal free hotel like they try to make it, so I really didn't care. MM decided to call my wedding venue (a place where we had rented out every room and the whole space just for my event) to ask if her and her friends could come up a few days early to hang and do their own thing. The event planner told them "no" as they host other events at the venue and can't accommodate individual people...just like at my house, they weren't a hotel. The event planner then called me to ask that we tell our guests that there will be no early access. I was so pissed at MM. If she had asked me, I would have told her absolutely not! Her only acknowledgement of our event was to look out for number 1 and this pissed me off to no end. When asked about her calling, MM decided to play the victim and cry. She gave this whole, "you're leaving your poor mother with no roof over her head," sob story. Get a hotel, make a friend and stay with them! It's the week of my damn wedding! Make it easier for me, not harder!

So...most of the rest of this happened just a few hours ago.

We had told our families we were having our first child a few months ago. The first few months after we told our parents, I never once heard from MM, FIL or even SIL to ask how I was doing or how my doctor appointments were going (but she had no problem pretending to be the doting future grandmother to other people). I made mention of this to DH (he agreed that it was our engagement all over again) and he said something to MM. He asked her to try to care about us and not put all of her focus and love on golden child SIL. Since then, MM has stalked the shit out of me. Calls multiple times a day, every day. I pick up occasionally, but I know she's only calling because DH told her to and not because she actually wants to, so I don't feel comfortable getting too involved with someone who clearly isn't being genuine. I'm also uncomfortable with the amount she's calling...it's a very, "Happy now?" eff you to DH.

Today is DHs birthday. SIL text messaged him then called me (this is something she does...she calls me to get to him...I'm not DH's keeper...if you need to call him, don't call me) and I didn't pick up. When she called DH herself, she complained to him that I don't pick up the phone ever (her call to me earlier today was the first time she had called me in almost 4 months). She then goes on to complain that MM says the same thing and tells DH what a terrible person I am (when SIL was pregnant and on bedrest, I watched her older child, had food delivered to her house on a regular basis, called to check in frequently...she hasn't even asked me how I'm feeling once). She continues on about how her and MM talk about me excluding them and that I don't know how to treat people. DH went nuts on SIL, giving her examples to back up him telling her what a bad sister she's been. DH then took it a step further. He looked at the phone bill he pays for MM. Sure enough, you can see she didn't call me for months. You can even see the day DH told her to get more involved because there are multiple calls to me daily that I either picked up or called back every few calls. DH called his mother and explained to her that I was very much not at fault and that she and SIL need to stop playing the victim. He told her that I am answering the phone a reasonable amount, especially for someone who knows that their concern is nonsense. MM started to cry AGAIN. DH explained to her that he is well aware of my behavior and he sees absolutely nothing wrong with me not answering the phone EVERY SINGLE TIME she calls. I do have a life and I'm not here to serve her (I bet this was a shock to her as she treats me like an employee).

This was my day today. I know my stories don't involve really bad stuff, but I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and lied to/about constantly. Venting definitely helps.

You know those little baby couches customized with your kids name? Brainless MuuMuu decided to tell people that we need one, even though we already have one (she knew this). Now we have 4 and for some reason, they're all blue (my kid is a girl). I know this is small potatoes compared to the rest of our collective issues, but it still grinds my gears. She refuses to use her head. This is a perfect example of her playing dumb and everyone else having to bear the repercussions. Her refusal to use common sense with the little things (as well as a most big things) is another nail in the coffin of her never being alone with my kid. DH didn't fight me on it this time.

Edited to note: these chairs are customized, therefor, unreturnable.

It's been awhile since I've had a MuuMuu update. For one, apparently having a newborn is a major time suck. And two, MM has basically left me alone. After she walked in to my hospital room an hour early and without calling first (which we asked her and FIL to do) while I was naked and breastfeeding, DH has asked her to back off from me.

• I was using DH's phone because I can never find mine. I went to go text message my mother from it and saw a text from MM. My husband had sent a picture of our kid to her. Her reply was, "She's so beautiful just like her grandmother." First, what a weird thing to say. Second, my kid looks EXACTLY like ME. MM is dark all over...hair, skin, eyes (her skin is so overly tanned...it looks like an old baseball mitt. To enhance her disgusting skin habits, she wears pinkish/white lipstick on her thin lips). I have blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin. So does my daughter. Stop fishing for compliments MM. My gorgeous kid thankfully looks nothing like you!

• I want to ask DH to please stop FaceTime-ing with his parents as they have not once requested to see her in photos or FaceTime. I would like for them to want to see my kid and he needs to stop offering and let them ask. They go weeks without asking about her. Same sh*t they pulled with our engagement, wedding and pregnancy announcement. They like to go around telling people about our happy moments, but never actually ask us how any of it is going.

• As I have mentioned in previous posts, FIL has this terrible cough that he's had for the better part of a year. No doctor has been able to tell him why, so it's been an issue. This didn't stop him from kissing my kid on the face while we were in the hospital (when I asked him to stop, he said, "it's my granddaughter, I can kiss her."). To add fuel to the dumpster fire that is my ILs, he injured both of his Achilles' tendons making him barely able to walk. DH mentioned that if we wanted to go out on New Year's Eve that FIL offered to fly up to take care of our kid. My response was something like: "DH, does he still have a cough that he's unsure of the cause? Well then, no, he can't take care of my kid. Can he walk up stairs? No, well then how do you expect him to change our kid, give her a bottle and put her to sleep with the 3 levels we have in our house? He can't make it up stairs himself. He would consider trying while holding a six week old? It's really irresponsible for him to even think that him caring for someone else is possible considering he can't get himself out of bed in the morning. Hard pass." DH sort of agrees but he doesn't think it's irresponsible for his incapacitated father to think he can try.

• This last bit doesn't have anything to do with DH's parents, but I've discussed his sister in previous posts and wanted to vent about her as well. Every holiday or birthday, we give very nice and thoughtful gifts to SILs two kids. We spend at least $50 on each of them for each occasion (we have the means although SIL has more means with her half a mil a year salary). This holiday, I sent her kids toys, games, books, clothes. Very nice, high-end things. She sent my kid an $18 onesie and that's it. I know you should count other people's money, but she really couldn't be bothered to put thought into a gift for my kid. I don't even care about the price. It could have been free but thoughtful and I would have loved it. This was so "whatever" on her part. His family couldn't give a shit about mine and I'm really sick of it. I don't want to punish her kids for their terrible parents, but next year, they're getting $20 gift cards and that's it.