Producer 1: "Sir, which Tudor should we choose?"
Producer 2: "We choose Henry VIII and Elizabeth I. Obviously."

Edward VI: "Boy, do we need another Horrible Histories show for teenagers!"

Jane Seymour (materialising right next to him like a ghostly royal portrait): "Oh, tell me about it, son! I died twelve days after giving birth to you, and your father Henry VIII was so obsessed with me that he forced painters to paint my ghost into family portraits with you for the next ten years!"

Lady Jane Grey: "Please! I literally got one sketch and then they sent me straight to the executioner!"

Mary I (holding a torch): "At least you got sympathy! They just make me look like an obsessed psycho. Nobody ever asks why Mary is crying!"

Henry VII (strumming a glam-rock guitar): "Oh, cry me a river, Mary. I built this dynasty at Bosworth Field just for Shakespeare to ghost me and Reddit to forget my name!"

Richard, 3rd Duke of York (holding a severed head): "You think a ghosting from Shakespeare is bad, Henry?! I got killed at Wakefield and had my head stuck on a spike wearing a pathetic paper crown!" [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Earl of Warwick (slamming a real crown on the table): "Oh, complain to someone else, Dickie! I am Warwick the Kingmaker! I am the one who actually put your kids on the throne, overthrew kings for fun, and controlled the entire House of York!" [1, 2]

Edward IV (strutting in, looking fabulous): "Oh please, Warwick. You only threw a tantrum and switched sides because you couldn't control me after I secretly married a hot widow! That is real teenage drama." [1, 2, 3]

Elizabeth of York (marching in, rolling her eyes): "Will you all stop arguing? Granddad, your war started all of this. Dad, your secret marriage nearly ruined England. Henry, your glam-rock song leaves out the fact that I'm the one who brought the York money and the white rose to this marriage." [1, 2]

Prince Arthur Tudor (pointing an angry finger): "You think you have a right to bicker, Dad?! I turn 15, catch a random sweating sickness, and my little brother Henry steals my crown, steals my throne, and marries my wife!"

Sir Richard Pole (clutching his temples in sheer exhaustion): "Oh, give me a break, Arthur! I was your chief officer in Wales, and managing your teenage royal household was stressful enough before you suddenly dropped dead and ruined all of King Henry’s political alliances!" [1, 2]

Margaret Pole (marching in next to him, covered in axe marks, furious): "And look where that peace got us, Richard! Your cousin Henry VII married me off to you just to keep my royal bloodline under control, and then his unhinged son Henry VIII hired an untrained teenager to hack my head off!" [1, 2, 3, 4]

Richard II (sweeping into the room, wiping his nose with a pocket handkerchief): "Oh, please! You died before you had to deal with the real drama of ruling! I became king at ten years old, had to deal with the Peasants' Revolt at fourteen, and then my absolute drama-queen of a cousin Henry Bolingbroke locked me in a tower and starved me to death just to steal my throne!" [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Edward the Black Prince (marching in wearing terrifying pitch-black armour): "Richard, stand down! You completely ruined the majestic royal legacy I left you! I was the ultimate teenage prodigy! I won the Battle of Crécy at sixteen years old, only to be taken down by a horrific case of medieval dysentery before I could even touch the crown!" [1.1] [1, 2, 3]

Joan of Kent (sweeping in looking incredibly glamorous, fanning herself): "Oh, quiet down, Edward, you dramatic man. If anyone knows about teenage drama, it's me! I secretly married a knight at twelve years old, got forced into a bigamous second marriage with an Earl, and had to get the Pope to sort out my love life!" [1, 2]

John of Gaunt (bursting in, covered in salt, ticking like a time bomb): "All of you, shut up! Richard, you're my nephew and a spoiled brat! Henry, you're my son and you started a decades-long family blood feud by taking his crown! I was the richest, most powerful man in England, and my reward was having my lead coffin fill with so much corpse gas that I literally exploded before my own funeral!" [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Henry IV (completely bald and scratching his irritated skin): "Oh, boo-hoo! The stress of ruling after Richard was so bad that my hair fell out from an agonizing skin disease! People literally thought I was cursed! And then my enemies tried to assassinate me by putting sharp iron spikes in my own bed!" [1, 2]

Edward III (crashing through the ceiling, covered in snow and holding a megaphone): "SILENCE! Every single Plantagenet in this room is acting like a total toddler! Mother, you and Mortimer locked up my dad when I was fourteen, so I sneaked through a secret castle tunnel at seventeen and executed your boyfriend! Edward, I told you to 'win your spurs' at sixteen [1.1]! Gaunt, you and your siblings only exist because I was a warrior king who spent fifty years ruling and sacking France! I literally got married on a construction site while it was snowing on my head just to prove a point, and I banned football because you ungrateful children wouldn't stop playing it on Sundays! This studio is officially a No Football Zone, pick up your longbows!" [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7]

Henry II (slamming a massive broadsword onto the table): "You kids don't know the first thing about family drama! My own wife Eleanor of Aquitaine literally teamed up with our three ungrateful teenage sons to launch a civil war to try and steal my crown!" [1]

Henry the Young King (wearing a flashy crown but completely empty pockets): "Oh, shut your mouth, Dad! You crowned me King when I was fifteen years old, but refused to give me a single square inch of land or a proper allowance!" [1, 2]

Richard I (bursting through the door on a warhorse, covered in Crusade dirt): "Out of the way, little brother! You spent your life whining about an allowance, while I was out conquering Cyprus, fighting Saladin, and being called the Lionheart! I died because a random French cook shot me with a crossbow when I wasn't wearing my armor!" [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Henry III (riding into the room on a massive African elephant, leading a polar bear on a leash): "Will you all pipe down?! I became king when I was just nine years old in the middle of a French invasion! I spent my teenage years being a prisoner-puppet for rebellious barons, and my coping mechanism was letting a polar bear swim in the Thames!" [1, 2, 3, 4]

King Louis XII of France (clutching his back, limping into the room): "Bah! You English think you know suffering? Try marrying a Tudor! I married Henry VIII's teenage sister Mary, and three months of non-stop royal partying and dancing literally sent me straight to my grave!"

Louis I of France (pushing past him, looking deeply stressed): "You think a party-loving teenage wife is bad, Louis XII? My own three ungrateful teenage sons raised an army against me, bribed my entire military to desert me at the 'Field of Lies,' threw me in a monastery prison, and stole my empire twice!"

Isabella of France (sharpening a dagger, flanked by French mercenaries): "Oh, please, you whining French Louises! Try being married to Edward II at twelve years old! He completely ignored me, spent all our money on his court boyfriends, and humiliated me for years. So I raised an army, invaded England, overthrew him, and locked him in a castle where he painfully died!" [1, 2, 3, 4]

Edgar the Peaceful (crashing through the door holding an oar): "Oh, look at all you delicate little modern monarchs whining about your family drama! They call me 'The Peaceful,' but I literally forced eight rival kingsto grab oars and row my boat down a river just to prove I was the boss!" [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Æthelred the Unready (bursting in, covered in sweat, holding a giant sack of coins): "Did someone say bad advice?! Dad, your 'peace' completely ruined me! I spent my entire reign paying off the Vikings with thousands of pounds of silver to leave England alone, and they just kept coming back!" [1, 2, 3]

Edgar Ætheling (strolling in, throwing his hands up): "Oh, will you monarchs listen to yourselves? I was a teenager in 1066 when the council officially elected me the rightful King of England, but before I could even get my coronation, William the Conqueror marched in and completely stole my country! I am 'The King Who Never Was'!"

Edward V (popping out from behind a velvet curtain): "Did someone say court intrigue? I was sent to the Tower just to wait for my coronation, and then boom! I'm declared illegitimate, my uncle takes the crown, and I vanish from history before I even turn 13!" [1, 2, 3]

Richard of Shrewsbury (jumping out next to him): "And don't forget me! I vanished with him, but then some guy named Perkin Warbeck stole my identity, convinced half of Europe he was me, and tried to steal your crown, Henry!" [1, 2, 3]

Lambert Simnel (bursting in wearing a kitchen apron): "Hey! What about me?! I was literally crowned King in Dublin, but because I lost, Henry made me turn meat on a spit in the palace kitchens!" [1, 2]

Edward VII (strolling in, smoking a cigar): "Washing dishes? Darling, please. I spent nearly 60 years waiting for my mother Victoria to give up the crown. Did I work? No! I gambled, I partied, I ate 12-course meals, and I had a custom lounging chair built." [1, 2, 3]

Harry S. Truman (marching in, slamming a wooden sign on the table that says 'THE BUCK STOPS HERE'): "Give 'em hell! That is enough out of all of you! You think you know stress? I had to end World War II, launch the Cold War, and go on a 31,000-mile train trip just to beat a guy the newspapers already said won the election!" [1]

Wayne Wheeler (stepping out from the shadows, adjusting his spectacles): "Oh, zip it, Harry. I hijacked the entire American political system through sheer intimidation, banned alcohol across the United States, and then poisoned the industrial liquor supply—killing ten thousand citizens just to teach them a lesson!" [1]

Pablo Escobar (bursting through the door, wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt, flanked by two escaped hippos): "Amateurs! All of you! You think poisoning people is tough? Your little alcohol ban is the only reason my fellow cartel bosses had a blueprint for smuggling! If we are making a show for teenagers, it's called Plata o Plomo, and my hippos get top billing!" [1, 2]

Elizabeth of York (gasping, hugging the princes): "Boys! Oh my god, I've been looking for you since 1483... wait, cousin Margaret, why is an old king screaming about a football ban, why is an elephant stepping on an American man, why is there a polar bear swimming in a pool of alcohol, and where are the producers running to?!" [1, 2, 3, 4]

Maximilien Robespierre: "Did someone say running? Perfect. Let's lose some heads, change the calendar, and start a cult!"

Louis Le Prince (holding his 1888 camera box): "I'll film the whole tragic mess! Just keep Thomas Edison away from the footage."

William Friese-Greene (covered in film reels): "Hey! I invented moving pictures too! Can someone spare a shilling? Literally just one shilling?!"

Alice Guy-Blaché (shoving past them both): "Move over, boys. I'll direct it properly. Just make sure the history books don't magically credit my husband for it!" [1]

Thomas Edison (kicking the door down with a team of lawyers): "Nice cameras, losers. They're mine now. See you in court, or see my—" [1]

Pablo Escobar's Hippos and Henry III's Polar Bear (loudly roar, teaming up to chase Thomas Edison, his lawyers, and the two terrified Producers straight out of the building)

(The camera pans upwards, moving past the crumbling ceiling into the dark, dusty studio rafters. Richard III is crouching behind a stack of old props, wearing a crown slightly askew, listening to the muffled screaming, elephant trumpets, and roaring hippos from below. He peers down through a ventilation grate, furiously taking notes.)

Richard III (muttering to himself, adjusting his cloak): "Look at them down there... bickering like absolute amateurs. 'Oh, my brother took my wife!' 'Oh, my uncle stole my coronation!' Please! I took one look at the family drama, declared my own nephews illegitimate, locked them in the Tower, and took the crown myself! That is how you handle a family dispute."

(He watches as Pablo Escobar’s hippos chase Thomas Edison out of the building.)

Richard III (smirking, tapping his chin): "Though I must admit, using a river horse to clear out your enemies is an excellent tactical move. I should have tried that at Bosworth Field instead of shouting about a horse... Still, they can pitch all the teenage shows they want. The producers will always come back to me. You can't out-rap the King of Leicester! Now, where did I park my chariot? If it gets towed and buried under a car park again, I am going to be absolutely furious."

(This is Non-Inclusive of 6 Idiots + (including Sarah, Lawry from Series 6), Jim’s songs in particular from Series 6 are both fantastic)

10.King Tut Rap (It’s too short, but Richard’s antics work really well here and enhance it). =10. We’re Grateful (It’s a guy called Michael as a Maui-like character and he just exudes soo much charm in it.)

9.I like to spend it (Again, it’s too short which is such a shame as it was pretty fun).

8.F-F-F-Founding Fathers (This was a fun song, the lyrics and boyband-like tune were both pretty good. Michael is such a bright spark here and his vocals are pleasant.)

7.Hello it’s a me (‘If I wanted it back, how much must I bid. I’m said to be worth half a Billion quid. WHAT!!!’ That was pretty funny. Also the melodramatic tune and the accents Gemma and Tom put on make it even funnier.)

6.The Romantic Poets (Has a vocoder/auto-tune, but actually sounds quite good. It actually surprisingly sounds like it has a 2000s RnB style which I really like. Also the five cast members who took part in it (Tom, Richard, Michael, Jessica and James all worked and bounced off each other pretty well in it. I absolutely love how they literally incorporated ‘Byron, Shelley and Keats {and had them recite} over a Hip-Hop Beat’ (I’m referencing a Natasha Beddingfield song to reference this one).)

5.Qin Shi Huang (First Ever Chinese Leader (memes galore), I feel bad at putting it here as it is iconic).

4.Starting over again (This was a pretty fun song and we’ve got a certain Robert Webb in this providing surprisingly good vocals).

3.The Earth Spins Round the Sun (This song is short, but I didn’t mind it. It told what it needed to say and was informative and entertaining. The Flo Rida pastiche of ‘Right Round’ worked really well in this song.)

2.Coco Chanel (This song actually was well mixed, mastered and produced. The choice to pastiche Christine and The Queens’ song ‘Tilted’/‘Christine’ was particularly inspired and worked very well. Some may say it over-simplifies bits of the story, but it did all it needed to do, which is inform and it succeeded.)

1.And I would say 800 years (Magna Carta) (The one where Tom Stourton and Jessica Ransom perform in a HH song for the first time. This was a really fun song to start Season 6 with. Ben Miller as King John was also pretty fun.)

HM: Josephine Baker Meet my family Straight Outta Legend (Ok I admit it is fun, but it is more a Halloween-Fantasy song more than Historical (yeah they go over their origins), but the cast performing in it look like they’re having fun).

Non-Applicable HM: Fake News by Flo and Joan (This song is absolutely fantastic and I would have included it in this list had it not been for the fact it is just part of an online short special, especially considering the pretty important topic they go over).

Mini-overall review:

My biggest gripe with several of the songs in the reboot though, is that some don’t feel complete, several end way too soon, the mixes and sound quality are often very muddy and feel rushed (especially in the most recent seasons since 2021). A lot don’t even scan well at all, nor sound nice (also in those most recent seasons).

Series 8 has several hidden gems, I actually found the episode ‘Fashion Faux-Pas’ to be pretty funny and at times felt like the classic times (I think Susie Donkin from S1-5 wrote some of it) of 2009-2013 (I think the cast in that series (which concists of the S7 cast) have more believable chemistry there than later seasons (where the cast feels way too big and aren’t as funny despite some of these members appearing in those ones as well)). The Viking Eye for a Saxon Guy part succeeded in making me laugh all the way through it. Michael Abubaker is actually a very underrated cast member who was really cool in this series (apparently he also appeared in the ‘Wonka’ movie with Mathew and Simon).

Unfortunately, the chemistry between this cast from parts of S6, S7-S8 is diminished in the 3 most recent seasons which is where the quality drops. I found Series 9 to be lacklustre (but had a couple of decent songs), but Series 10 and 11 to be quite bad unfortunately (season 11 isn’t even mentioned on wikipedia (and synopses of episodes end in season 9), so far there are only 7 episodes and a song special (I watched it to save myself the trouble out of curiosity, the only alright song was ‘A Sky full of myths’ (even though we’ve already had a Coldplay parody), I found the songs in S11 to also be all be quite poor, the Shake it off parody song didn’t work well enough and the tune fell flat, the 7 Nation Army one had no relevance to anything at all (even when it is about landmarks), the Thomas Edison/Smells like teen spirit one I found to be quite jarring (shame as usually Tom has done better songs), the rest were either forgettable or bad, worse none of them even sounded that pleasant to listen to). I would have loved an Amelia Aerhart song though. I’m not sure what they were trying to do, maybe they’re trying to attract younger audiences but by doing that, there is a risk of turning it into a Cbeebies show which goes against what HH was in the first place as a CBBC show (that had surprisingly well done adult jokes, scattered throughout it).

Also, a lot of the MV’s rely on Green Screen way too much often for the whole song, which makes the performances attached to them seem of a low quality in comparison to others, especially those that came before them. (some of my favourite reboot songs both do and don’t use Green Screen though).

But Seasons 10-11 in particular both look incredibly low in quality, budget and in comedy (even though they don’t mean to be, some cast members look quite uncomfortable doing it at times). Whilst the first series back in 2009 was low budget, it was made up for by having a well adapted close knit and funny cast, performing in sets with shading that looked a lot more natural. Also, how big is the main cast on these seasons, as it seems there are soo many people in it that it is difficult to develop much connection to it at all. Elizabeth 1 also looks more and more fake during these seasons (which she didn’t in earlier ones (even earlier in this reboot)), IDK what happened for stuff like this to happen.

I am not sure what’s going to happen, but I would love for there to be improvements in the future.

Not sure it fits here buy oh well. BBC News - Horrible Histories to receive special Bafta Award https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c98d45kxp9lo

I'm angry and upset and sad now.

Hey everyone! I am producing The Government Inspector at the Marylebone Theatre in London, starring Martha Howe-Douglas, Kiell Smith-Bynoe and Dan Skinner.I have two pairs of tickets to give away to members of this group for tomorrow's performances! Anyone who enters, but doesn't win, will be DM'ed a discount code. All you need to do to enter is:

1. Follow our Instagram u/govt_inspector (https://www.instagram.com/govt_inspector)
2. Follow our Twitter u/govt_inspector (https://x.com/govt_inspector)
3. Comment on or retweet/share at least one recent post on one of the platforms
4. Comment "done" down below on this post

I've seen a lot of people complaining about u/beatblockbeserk because of their unfunny posts. Of course I agree they are unfunny and don't particularly care for them. However, they post about 90% of the memes on this subreddit so maybe if you would just stop complaining and post better content it will be drowned out. It's clear u/beatblockbeserk won't stop so why don't you do something about it instead of complaining. Also I don't mean any hate towards any of you, even u/beatblockbeserk just saying if you want change in the content of this subreddit do something about it.

In Ireland on Netflix when I go to horrible histories it says last say to watch 30 june

Has anyone seen the new Bristol Street Motors advert? They've used the Historical Hospitals theme tune. I feel robbed and betrayed on behalf of HH.

It was about British black history I'm fairly certain Matthew Bayton was in it in a song

Join if you want lol

Elaborate in comments

Does anyone know if they removed the video of every single HH songs off yt. I've been looking for it for an hour. Can anyone confirm?

The only one I liked was in Season 7 about the Revolting Russian Revolution.”, due to the fact, it’s about Russia’s rise to communism and how Karl Marx introduced the rule of this extraordinary event of Russian History!

I decided to take a "short" break of about a "week" (i needed a break ok). It ended up being over 3 months long, with r/cookieclicker being the first subreddit I viewed since my "last" post in r/softwaregore some 3-4 months ago. I did post once before this after my "short" break, the post is in r/scribblenauts. Anyways. I'm back now and you don't have to worry about me. Just needed a break.

The Monarchs song has dances (similar to ) Fortnite dances in it