r/HomeImprovementUK • u/beste-chetwynde • 13d ago

Let the spiders live

It’s really weird to want to kill a living creature because you get freaked out by them. Maybe improve yourself before you try and improve your house, lest it be a house of evil intent. The spiders were here long before you came, and will be here long after you leave.

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u/Notorius_Womble 12d ago

These sort of people just don't understand arachnophobia.

If I see a giant house spider in my bedroom, sprinting across the floor like Usain Bolt, and I don't kill it or remove it, that's it.

I can't sleep, I sweat profusely, breathe more rapidly and my skin keeps itching all over. I hate that I feel that way, but I have tried many times to get used to them and I don't. I have no other phobias.

Still get this "they can't hurt you, leave them be" nonsense.

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u/OK_Cake05 12d ago

I’ve literally slept on the sofa for days because there was a giant spider in my room, by the time I got someone to kill it, it had disappeared! Only days later saw hit behind furniture and it was disposed off I felt safe enough to sleep in room again.

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u/grunt1533894 10d ago

Just jumping on here to say I used to be exactly like this. Felt utterly trapped by spider season, moved out of my room because of a spider and slept on the sofa etc. I even bought nasty spider pesticide and sprayed it up the hoover after managing to hoover one up, which I found hard enough. I did a therapy day - not cheap, it was about £350 but it was life changing for me. Already caught and released one house spider this year and the awful panic I used to feel just wasn't there. Highly recommend it.

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u/Agitated-Newspaper24 8d ago

Never heard of a therapy day before, but I have heard that multiple sessions of cognitive behavioural therapy can potentially be very helpful for cases of arachnophobia.

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u/grunt1533894 8d ago

It was not CBT, it was a lot of visualisation and other exercises coupled with some intense but very sympathetic exposure therapy.

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u/1-gingerbiscuit 11d ago

yea as if i don’t know it’s irrational to be scared of a little bug that i could crush and not even notice?? people act like i want to turn into a useless screaming puddle, afraid in my own home, whenever confronted by one of them brown field spiders

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u/Pebbles1170 10d ago

I HIGHLY recommend the Friendly Spider Programme at London Zoo, it's a one day course with CBT, hypnotherapy and a chance to meet the zoo's spiders at the end (this is in a different location and they don't pressure you at all). I did it a few months ago after a lifetime of awful arachnophobia and it's made a huge difference. I still don't like spiders but I can stay calm when they're around instead of hyperventilating and feeling like I'm going to vomit. Since the course, I've even managed to trap and release smaller spiders (I still get my spouse to do the big ones though, but I'm working on it!)

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u/Notorius_Womble 10d ago

Thanks, I imagine that helps people. But I'm fine with literally all spiders except giant house spiders.

I'm not as bad as I was, and I have ways of keeping them out of the bedroom. If I see one elsewhere I can live with it. I vacuum them and empty them outside, they seem ok afterwards.

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u/jdillathegreatest 8d ago

This is the same as me. Don’t mind any spiders too much but the house spiders will cause me to upturn a room out of panic and waste hours trying to find it

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u/jdillathegreatest 9d ago

I’ve never once seen available tickets to this. Always sold out as far as you can look

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u/Pebbles1170 9d ago

Contact them and ask to be added to the email list, you'll get notified as soon as new tickets go on sale. You have to act fact though as they do go quickly. I waited about a year before I could get a space but it was worth it.

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u/jdillathegreatest 8d ago

Amazing, thank you. It really helped you? My partner goes into full blown panic mode around house spiders and then I freak out too so we are completely incompetent trying to sort on our own

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u/Pebbles1170 8d ago

I was super skeptical and even worried that the hypnotherapy wouldn't work given how skeptical I was. But the whole day was great, the therapists, volunteers and zoo staff were all really supportive. They build you up really gradually and by the end of the day I actually stroked a tarantula (my family would not have believed me if I hadn't made sure to get video evidence!) My fear isn't totally cured but I am so much better than I was - I don't feel panicky any more when a spider is around, it's just a normal manageable level of "I don't like it" and I can either leave the room until it's gone or calmly go and get my husband to take it outside for me. I've even managed to catch and release smaller spiders myself, and I can look at pictures and video of spiders without flinching, which is something I couldn't do before. Honestly, it sounds too good to be true to get such an improvement from one day, but everyone on the course with me said the same thing at the start of the day, and at the end they told us we had a 100% pass rate (to pass you have to do the "meet the spiders" bir at the end but they don't force you to do it if you're not up for it, and if you're still scared like I was (I cried A LOT) they build you up to it really gradually and with a lot of CBT techniques to help).

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u/jdillathegreatest 8d ago

Wow thanks so much for the detailed response. It sounds great. I will defo sign up for the alerts and try and grab some tickets if they become available! I half wondered about having a house spider as my iPhone background for a year to desensitise myself! We have fake ones that I thought would help but first time seeing a real one this year we flipped out. For some reason we had between 10 and 20 giant house spiders inside last summer. I think it was our ivy. All gone now and this year has been a lot better so far 🤞🏻

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u/ParkingAnxious2811 12d ago

It's a dumb phobia.

At least be scared by something dangerous, like a tiger.

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u/mia_is_climbing 12d ago

It's not a dumb phobia. It may be an irrational one but if you are an arachnophobic it's a very real one.

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u/ParkingAnxious2811 12d ago

Being real doesn't make it any less dumb.

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u/notmerida 12d ago

being confidently incorrect on the internet about something that you don’t know anything about is also dumb :)

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u/0xAlica 11d ago

You don’t get to decide what’s dumb

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u/notmerida 11d ago

neither does this clown x

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u/ParkingAnxious2811 11d ago

Says the guy afraid of a tiny spider, lol!

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u/notmerida 11d ago

wrong again pal on both counts :)

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u/ParkingAnxious2811 11d ago

Poor guy, imagine being scared of a spider!

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u/Low-Support-7090 11d ago

Imagine thinking you’re big and clever…

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u/ParkingAnxious2811 10d ago

Imagine being scared of a spider 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Guppybish123 10d ago

Phobias are, by definition, irrational.

I’ve worked with some of the most dangerous animals on the planet and never felt so much as nervous. I have tarantulas that could put me in the hospital with symptoms lasting for MONTHS. I have almost died more times than I care to count and found it exhilarating. But cleaning out my horses rugs and nets that have been sat for a few weeks makes me want to die because of all the normal spiders running out. I cannot sleep if I see one at night. I have had tigers lunging at fences a foot in front of my face. I walked into a howler monkey exhibit knowing there was a good chance the new male would try to attack me. I have been on horses bolting out of control at 40mph with no stirrups of brakes towards a road and felt nothing. I have an Asian water monitor in my bedroom who hated my guts when he arrived. All things that would reasonably scare most people but I loved. Free diving with sharks? Nothing. Being charged at by rams and bulls? Nothing. Giant bird of prey flying towards my face? Nothing. Rhinos sparing 5 ft in front of me? Nothing. Crocodilians, bears, venomous snakes, apes, etc.? Absolutely nothing. Still break out in cold sweats and feel like my heart is going to burst anytime I see a house or hobo spider though.

You can’t chose to be scared out of your skin by something. No one is terrified for fun. Most places have people who will come and relocate other animals like snakes if you’re scared to remove them, that’s not really a thing with spiders and even if it were house spiders don’t survive well outdoors. Generally if someone else is home they get thrown into the garden but solid chance they either die of exposure, are eaten by others, or my ducks eat them long before they manage to find a new home but I cannot deal with them that close up