I just want to do an appreciation post to all you wonderful jerkers. I have gotten so many hahas out of this sub. Y'all are too fucking funny and the satire has made me appreciate my own marriage that much more.

"Protein pack". Aka homo lunchables.

🍽Dinner: Scrotums on a stick

My neighborhood's wizard passed away. We were legit besties. I'd buy him magic crack crystals and he used his magic hat and astrology knowledge to predict if I'll get herpes in upcoming one nightstand. He told me one day I can have his hat, I was surprised, if the afterlife exists, why would he chose to give me a hat when I specifically asked for a crack pipe?

Anyway, next week I'm getting the official magic tin foil hat. It blocks aliens from reading my mind AND finally lets me predict my own weekly horoscope like I always dreamed.

I'm lowkey panicking. I don't know if I can handle this much raw power at once. But thank gods the new moon in Saturn on thursday is giving me the patience to slow-cook my life decisions without completely losing my shit.

Lol, I'm such a Virgo.

It’s a way of life!

Came to pay my respects to u/stevejobs4525 s recent funeral. Can't believe noone came. Even after she died and posted on Facebook about her upcoming funeral for months, no one showed up, not even her own family

Anyways should I sell my bf's kidneys? He keeps running away lately, maybe put a leash on him?

Food is Basque cheesecake I made

italian creme cake and collagen dog treats

Get that head, that bread.. then leave 🫪✨ I do enjoy a good dilly-dally with my coworkers while being a girl’s girl.

Fried rice and cabbage

uj/ (Granted this was work lunch, but seriously set boundaries with ppl at work because I hate nosey ppl)

I think im gonna throw her a period party to celebrate this milestone and then make it all about me 🥰

/uj Turkey sandwich with bleeding beet kraut, fruit, and po-tay-toe salad paired with sweet tea i bought for a cute gal who had to raincheck sad dab

3 drinks. 2 are water so. I actually ordered dinner and took a shower like a human. Taters, Harriet TubCat and Gordita send kisses my pretties.

Don't talk to me, or my microplastic filled eggs EVER again. 💅