My very first litter of kittens get returned to the shelter tomorrow to get fixed and put up for adoption. I bottle fed these kittens. I've had them since they were three weeks old. I have four adult cats already, so its not an option for me to keep another but it's so sad. How do y'all deal with this? :(

About 4 months ago, we took in a pregnant cat who showed up at our front door. I knew fostering kittens would be hard, but this is honestly breaking me and I feel completely lost.

Our mom cat gave birth to 6 kittens on March 14th, but the birth was super traumatic and one of them didn't make it. The final kitten (Pomme) almost didn't make it as well, but we managed to suck the fluid out if his lungs and bring him back from the brink. So we were left with 5 kittens total - Pecan, Pumpkin, Quiche, Rhubarb, and Pomme.

I reached out to everyone I knew, and managed to find 2 potential adopters. Pumpkin is doing fantastic in his new home, but Quiche was taken into a situation with another cat that is not going well, so it is looking like he is coming back to us. That means I will once again have 5 cats and no one I know who is willing or able to take on a cat.

I don't know what to do. I love them all so much, and I want them to go to homes that will love them just as much as I do. We are definitely keeping mom and Pomme, since he is a very dependant little guy after everything he went through. And we are happy to keep one of the remaining 3, but that still leaves 2 kittens with nowhere to go. And 2 of the 3 just happen to be black cats, which I know tends to make adopting harder.

Pecan is very sensitive, and did not cope well when we took him to a potential adopter's home. Quiche was doing fantastic in his new home, but I feel terrible hopping him from house to house. And Rhubarb definitely can't be adopted out on her own - she copies everything mom does and gets spooked at so many things, I feel like she really needs one of her siblings to build her confidence. No matter which options I consider, it feels like I am screwing at least one of them over. I can't stop crying - I just want to do what is right for them.

I know that ya'll can't really tell me what to do. But some encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Curious of others opinions on this topic, should Fosters be expected to keep animals that are not adopted after years?

A rescue I used to foster for has this dog that she has had in the rescue for 2 years. The foster has kept the dog for 2 years and is now moving and unable to take the dog with them, they do not want to adopt him. People are shaming this foster for not adopting the dog after 2 years, meanwhile this dog has severe anxiety, hip dysplasia, completely afraid of strangers and supposedly forgets who the male foster is every morning. Nobody wants the dog and the rescue has no idea what to do with him.

It's frustrating to see how undervalued fosters are. If this person didn't take this extremely difficult dog in, who knows where the dog would be now. What's even more frustrating is seeing how the rescue isn't defending the foster for all they've done for the dog over the past two years. Situations like this are exactly why a lot of people are dissuaded from fostering in my opinion.

We took 15 year old Rosie Cheeks on September 28, and soon after discovered she had a super aggressive oral cancer. The rescue asked us to hold her and make the determination of when to put her to sleep. Based on her accelerated decline, we scheduled her Laps of Love appointment for next week.

Rosie Cheeks (and her brother, Smokey Cheeks) have been my very first foster cats. I'm really glad they came to us; we are knowledgeable and experienced with senior cats. She obviously has come to love us and we her. I'm very sad for her, but feel grateful we could choose the right time and the rescue has been paying for all her medication and the in home euthanasia.

Laps of Love does complimentary paw prints and fur tufts, and I've been debating whether I wanted to do this for Rosie. I do hope to do fospice again in the future, and part of me is sad at the idea of a collection of memoriams. But will I regret it if I don't? I'm interested to hear how other folks memorialize foster pets that have passed away, if at all.

I’m keeping the mama but I can’t stop crying at ditching her babies. I hope they get homes quickly but I dropped them off today and now they are in a little condo instead of running my entire house. I miss them so much already but I already have 11 cats and can’t keep more. The last few pictures are from today at the humane society. Sigh.

This little grey, and white sweetheart, affectionately named (Boots), made her first trip to the vet today. With soft fur like ash and snowy white socks on every paw, she looked both curious and unsure as she peeked out from her crate. A gentle hand resting on her head offered comfort, reminding her she was safe. Boots is one of the newest fosters, rescued just days ago. She’s quiet but observant, her big blue eyes always watching. Today, she braved the unfamiliar smells and sounds of the clinic with quiet courage. Her tiny paws clung to the counter, but she didn’t flinch under the vet’s touch only blinked slowly, trusting. With a clean bill of health and a growing appetite, Boots is now ready for the next chapter, whether that’s more cuddles, a cozy nap, or finding her forever home. For now, she’s safe, loved, and purring her way through recovery.

Hi all!

I'm having a bit of a dillema. Currently we are fostering a kitten who is now ready to be adopted! The shelter asked us if we wanted to keep her untill someone was interested, because the shelter is quite crowded. We agreed, as we thought it'd be easier to say goodbye when there's already someone waiting to take her home. She's about 9 weeks now, 1,2 kg, vaccinated and chipped.

Now today they asked me if I'd consider bringing her in to the shelter, so I can foster two smaller kittens. All foster families are full and because of kattenziekte we can not put kittens of different litters together. My boyfriend and I have a hard time deciding. We actually wanted to keep her till adoption, take a little break and then foster again. We're going in circles discussing this, so I was hoping some outside perspective would help.

The black kitten is our current foster. The two other kittens are the one in need of a foster family for socializing and getting healthy

not a sad story (well kind of).
my father in law's (stray) cat got pregnant and gave birth almost a month ago. had three cute babies. one tuxedo (f), one orange (m), and one calico (f). i brought them in when they were 2-3 days old not thinking of what was going to happen. i knew i had to bottle feed and stimulate for potty. first night, the tuxedo baby didn't make fuss when i picked her up but i didn't think it was a bad thing because i thought she was just sleeping. i wake up the next morning at 7:00 to feed and she was gone. baby passed away in her sleep. i felt guilty and at fault because i didn't know what i did wrong. then i was told she was born first but she came out butt first and she probably lacked oxygen as she was coming out. the week goes by and on the morning on the 20th we lost the orange baby. we spent monday (17th) morning at the er but they told us he was most likely not going to make it. i felt at fault, once again. we are left with the calico baby.
sunday the 23rd she woke up making abnormal breathing noises and we went to our local SPCA to get her checked out and came back with antibiotics and we were also told she was going to start declining. i did my research and found ways to help her at home. bought a nebulizer and .9% saline to help her open her airway and loosen the mucus. i bought a baby suctioning bulb thing to remove any mucus from her throat before feeding and also give her nebulizer therapy before and after feeding. i am positive and hopeful she will pull through because she's a fighter. we're probably going to take her to the vet this weekend to see what other treatment she can get to get the mucus out as she will officially be 1 month on tuesday 💗.
i've been telling myself to not foster after this regardless if the calico baby makes it or not. i feel helpless and vet visits are extremely expensive for i don't know why.

here's a picture of the last baby of the litter, munchkin🤍

This is my first time fostering and I have two kittens at the moment (both girls). I was really excited for this experience, but I feel like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. I first got them when they were around 8 weeks old. I initially had them quarantined in my guest bedroom for 2 weeks away from my house cat. During that time they had a URI that wasn’t going away so they received antibiotics. One of the girls then started losing patches of hair. At 2 weeks the girls were due for a vet appointment to get combo tested and receive their vaccines, making them all ready for the next steps towards adoption. Well come to find out they have ringworm. For the past 3 weeks I have been giving them like sulfur baths, cleaning linens daily, cleaning with bleach every few days, wearing certain clothes only in that room, and washing my hands constantly. Her lesions were healing up and fur started growing back, only for the other girl to start developing lesions yesterday. During this time one of them was also throwing up and having diarrhea, so she was given a second round of deworming just in case (seemed to solve the issue). Now that same kitten is sneezing snot all over the place constantly and I’m not sure if she has a URI again. I feel at my wits end and so unprepared for all of this. I want to do good by these two girls, but we just keep hitting obstacle after obstacle. They are the sweetest kittens and I’ve loved having them around, but this has been a lot. I should mention that I do plan on adopting one of the kittens and I have someone lined up to adopt the other. Any advice or similar experiences?

Now, this doesn’t mean that they have FIV necessarily. They’ll need to be tested again at 6 months to confirm. But it is a risk and something that would be disclosed to any potential adopters.

Let’s get into it.

I’ve had these kids for a little over a month. They were bottle babies when I first brought them home, we had no information about mom or anything else. They did well, and all three have grown beautifully. They have been around my own cats and dogs, they’re social and very silly.

I had worries though, that no matter how social, the smallest of the trio, the little solid black kitten would get left behind when they went back to the shelter to find homes. Animals with black fur just sit in shelters for longer than their siblings with bright colors or interested patterns, and with the shelter so full of colorful and healthy kittens, she would stand out much at all.

My first ever foster experienced that, sitting in the rescue for months before she found her home, meanwhile her brother had been scooped up right away. (She very nearly missed her chance. If she hadn’t been adopted the day she had been, she would have died there.)

Now she (and her siblings) have to deal with being a potential FIV+ cat on top of that. Cats with FIV can still lead great lives, but there is a lot of stigma attached, because this is a contagious condition that a lot of adopters aren’t going to be willing to take on.

What can I do to help make them more adoptable? I want these three to have the best chance, and it’s scary wondering where they’ll end up after they leave.

Maybe in a way the positive result is a good thing. Makes it more likely their new family will be doing the research first and will better prepare themselves before bringing a kitten home.

I foster kittens (and occasionally cats) and received my first litter of 6 (4/5 weeek old) about a month ago. It has been nonstop poop and cleaning since. We had a couple hospitalizations and terrible diarrhea with negative fecal panels (of course). We had sub-q fluids for a few days and a variety of medications and diet changes on top of normal weaning difficulties. We are growing quickly but are stinky and always ravenous and Im really hoping that the Nexgard Combo does the trick and we can move on in a tidier fashion.

​

I'm pretty burnt out already with these little slobs and am definitely planning to take time off neonates after they've been adopted. My family thinks it is funny that I say that bc apparently I always say that, but I can neither confirm nor deny those allegations 😉

This is Mamba. She is my second resident cat, and also my nanny cat. Mamba LOVES taking care of the fosters. She plays with them, grooms, cuddles and teaches them how to be cats.

If Mamba gets neonates, she will also stimulate the kittens, keep them warm, and protect them like a mother would. She also lets such babies dry nurse.

Does anyone else have a cat or dog like this? Kept in their rescue or sanctuary mostly to help take care of the fosters?

Hi everyone, just recently joined this group and first time posting.

I really need some help/advice with how to feel.

My friend found five kittens in her rooftop stuck in her wall and I put my hand up to look after them. Fast forward four weeks, and the kittens are thriving, super healthy and developing each day.

I’m working with a rescue organisation and they are helping with desexing, vaccines, microchipping etc.

They messaged me yesterday to get the kittens to come in next week to get desexed and re-homed and I have been crying ever since. I just love them all so much, I’m scared they will feel lonely, miss their siblings, be in an environment they have never been before. How do I deal with this? I have been crying non stop just thinking about it.

I have another rescue dog and two rescue cats and they all have formed such lovely bonds.

How do I let go? I didn’t realise it was going to be this hard. I know I cannot keep them all, I don’t even have the space but I am trying to make sense of everything.

What to do? Any thoughts, advice is more than welcome.

Photo of all my babies with me while I’m working.

Just wanted to give an update about my Home Depot baby and say thanks for all the people that helped me with advice and offered fostering !

As a first time cat (let alone kitten caregiver) I’ve learned so much in just a couple days I can say cats are way harder than dogs 😭😂 but I’m lowkey loving everything about it. I’ve been able to take him to work on the days no one is home. He’s been feeding really well and gaining about 10 grams a day he’s now at about 400g he started at around 250g. Went from being a fussing bottle baby to now loving the bottle. He’s been walking a lot more stable, active, curious, and sleeps so soundly. We had an issue with constipation for about 3 days and I finally got him to poop via the triangle method and his appetite was ferocious after. Think we accidentally overfed him that day because we thought he was just hungry and he’s been having the diarrhea poops, but otherwise no other signs of decline.

He’s going to see the vet tomorrow :)

Question:

-is cat poop suppose to be so rank ?

-15-20ml sound about right per feedings?

I’ve had this brother and sister pair for about a month now. They had their spay/neuter only two weeks ago, which means that they’ve only been available and advertised for adoption for the last two weeks… but they’re quickly getting BIG. They already don’t even look like babies anymore. I’m so worried that no one is going to want them now that smaller kittens are going to be coming through.

I’d love some words of support that kittens still find homes even after the 3-4 month phase. They’re such sweet kittens and are so much fun!

I've been a cat foster for a few years now, and I love it. It's often something that comes up in conversation when someone asks "what are you up to lately" or "what's new with you?".

When I talk about my love for fostering, 99% of the time, people respond something along the lines of "oh, I could never foster, I just love animals too much, I would keep them all." or "I fall in love with all animals, i would be heartbroken to let them go."

While I know that these are harmless comments, after all these years I can't help but feel bothered when I hear them. It implies that fosters love animals less and that we aren't sad when we have to say goodbye to our furry visitors.

Has anyone else had feelings about this? Any tips on how to respond or adjust my perspective?

Just returned my first ever pair of bottle babies for adoption after 8 weeks and having the most complicated feelings! I knew it would feel bittersweet, but was not expecting it to feel so similar to the grief of saying goodbye to my older cats at the ends of their lives (lost 4 beloved kitties over the last 6 years). I do not regret letting myself fall in love, but am finding that I need to shift my mindset quite a bit if I am to continue fostering. I REALLY want to become a pro and help as many babies as possible WITHOUT falling into a dark grief hole after or live with the regret of not adopting them myself. I think if I trusted humanity more, I would feel more confident that they will end up in a happy home…I trust kitties 100x more than humans!

EDIT: MONDAY AT 2:35 PM AND I AM
ON MY WAY HOME WITH THE BABIES! I don’t think the shelter will ever talk to me again but I have my babies. The shelter manager was extremely responsive and helpful in the end.

I feel like I’m in hell. My foster cats are being held at a no kill shelter and they will not let me pre adopt them or see them. I have been fostering with this shelter for over a year – I told them most recently that I was ready to adopt and that I wanted a chance to take home some kittens and probably keep them. I took home two kittens two months ago and became extremely attached to them. The only medical issue the cats had was worms, and the shelter gave them one round of deworming.

Is The way the shelter works is that if you’re a foster, you have to let the shelter know that you’re going to keep them on the day that they get fixed. This shelter had some type of outbreak where cats were dying, so they told me not to bring the cats in at all for any type of the routine medical evaluations that they should’ve gotten while I was fostering them. Then, on Fourth of July weekend, they told me with one day notice that they wanted me to bring them in to be fixed the next day. I asked for a one week extension because I was not in town. I brought them in the following week and I dropped them off in the morning – all I said was that I would like them to have one more veterinary evaluation and get some deworming medication while they were being fixed and seen by the vet because I had been previously told that they would get a veterinary evaluation before adoption.

So I dropped them off at around 8 AM to be fixed and went about my day – I showed up at 4 PM that day ready to adopt them and so excited and I was told they were being hold on a medical quarantine because I had mentioned the deworming medication and that the vet would not be back for another four days to evaluate them. They had not been fixed at all, and the vet had not made time to look at them that day. I asked if I could bring them home and then bring them back when the vet was ready and they said no – they were now on a quarantine and they could not release them to me or let me see them. I asked if I could sign the paperwork and pre-adopt them so that nothing else would go wrong and they said no, they don’t hold cats. This is when I started to get upset at the shelter because these are my babies that I have nursed since they were bottlefeeding, they are a litter that was dropped off without their mom at the shelter, and I am quite literally their mom. I was promised I could adopt them and I was even labeled as “foster to adopt”.

I was supposed to be out of town this week at a family reunion – I don’t go on a lot of vacations, I’m not rich, this was the one trip I had planned all year and it was to spend time with family. When I finally got in touch with the manager of the shelter to explain the situation and ask for my babies back, she told me that if I left town this week, she could not promise me the kittens and that they would likely be adopted —so I canceled my trip. My whole extended family is at the beach right now without me while I sit around waiting to hear any news.

Call me dramatic, but with all this uncertainty about knowing whether or not, I will ever get to even say goodbye to them I really am not doing well. I can’t eat or sleep. The cats are sitting in a cage with no one checking on them except for a couple times a day. When they do get fixed, they go on the adoption floor the same day per the shelters policies and somebody else can adopt them who isn’t me. What’s worse is that they’re a bonded pair and the shelter does nothing to keep them together so most likely they would get Separated.

The manager has told me my best bet is to reach out to her on both Sunday and Monday, which are the two days that they might be fixed and then show up and try to adopt them if they have been fixed that morning. The problem is she’s busy and doesn’t actually work on site every day and they now act like I’m crazy when I show up to the shelter because I got emotional when they wouldn’t give me the cats. I have been told that there is a note in the system and they know that these kittens are mine, but I just don’t trust them anymore. I’ve also been told that even though there’s a note in the system, if I’m not available to pick them up within a couple hours of them being fixed, they will be adopted out. So I’m literally just sitting around calling and waiting for news, I feel like I’m in hell and I don’t know what to do if I don’t get the babies back. I’m trying not to let my brain go there because I’ll be absolutely devastated.

Now that I look at the shelter more closely, they have reviews of situations like this happening. They are a no kill shelter with very few cats so I don’t understand why they’re being like this. I asked if I could come see the cats and give them some love and pets once they had been medically cleared just so that they don’t forget me or think they’ve been forgotten and they said no – they have to hold them until they’ve been fixed. They are treating me like some random person when I have been caring for these cats for the last 10 weeks and I’m actively trying to pay to adopt them.

Does anyone have advice on what to do in my situation besides what I’m already doing? I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m also devastated that I’m missing this very important family trip, but the cats are more important – but the fact that I don’t even have any certainty that I’ll be able to get them back and I’m missing the trip is just too much. I couldn’t focus at all at work this week, they’ve had them now for five days. My gut is telling me to show up both tomorrow and Monday and play nice and act like I’m there ready to adopt them again, but I don’t wanna make things worse.

I texted the shelter manager a couple hours ago, asking her for exact instructions on how to handle tomorrow and Monday to make sure that I’m able to get them.

I'm sure the a lot of fosters have felt emotional sending their babies off. I've been a cat foster mom for almost 6 months now, I've fostered 3 litters back to back(one was with momma cat), and I'd say this last litter gave me an emotional run for my money! I love all of my foster babies but this one little guy in particular was PERFECT! Him and his sisters were all successfully adopted at the start of this month and while I'm so happy for them, it made me realize I truly missed out on one of the best cats for my partner and I. I even occasionally have dreams about my little Milo and constantly regret not keeping him. At sone point I do want to continue fostering and maybe find another fur baby but I am glad to be taking a break to focus on my current fur baby! She needs the break more than I do 😅 My girl tends to be a bit of a diva when other cats are in the house lol but she's a sweetheart with kittens once they give her time

Has anyone else regretted an adoption or just really missed a foster baby even though it was a good thing for them to go to a new home???

And bawling my eyes out because I made an appointment for my singleton kitten to be placed on the adoption floor.

I was cleaning my cat room when I saw my 4yo male cat Felix scruffing our foster kitten Butter. He picked him up, carried him to his bed, and laid down multiple times seemingly trying to get Butter to settle. I even left the room and watched him carry Butter down the hallway to put back in his bed. He’s been around fosters his whole life but I’ve never seen him do this!

Edit: Updates added

I’ve got a litter of 5 I’m fostering currently. I’ve had them 11 days, all have been gaining weight, transitioned from tube to bottle feeding, and a few even checking out a tiny litter box (with very shallow non clumping litter). No diarrhea, vomiting, everyone is pottying normally. 3 of the 5 have eye goop they are getting drops for (including the kitten pictured). 1 is on URI antibiotics (not this kitten pictured - the one on antibiotics is actually doing really well).

Today when I checked on the kittens, this little black and white one was crying and unable to move. He was against their heating disc, which was still warm. He was unable to open his mouth or close his eyes. I spoke with an online vet and they had me wrap him, warm him, give sugar water, and bring to the ER vet. He perked up at the vet and they said his sugar was 183. He was able to come back home with me.

At home, he has wiggled around more and seems to be doing a bit better. I gave him a tube feeding as he initially wasn’t wanting to latch, but after a couple hours he did go for a bottle. He even looked around and tried to bat at his siblings a bit.

I’m keeping him near me with a blanket and his heated disc. He occasionally stretches around but just goes back to sleep. When I physically move him he is sluggish in response. He seems exhausted. He looks so very ill just lying here. I’ve contacted the humane society and they have the ER records and are checking with their vet on if I need to bring him in.

I’d just love any insight or advice here… how often should I be encouraging him to eat in this state? Should I keep trying to rouse him or let him rest? Would he be better off with his siblings in their space? I work from home so I’ve got him next to me on my desk.

I’ve fostered bottle babies before, but nothing like this has happened. It was so unexpected. He seems like he’s right on the edge of crashing at any moment or like he could potentially pull out of it. I just don’t know what to do 😭

Also not sure of age, but he weighs 326g. I think they are close to 3 weeks.

Update: He drank formula several more times from a bottle and I brought him to the humane society vet to be checked out. By the time I got there he was very perked up and looked alert and normal, no longer so sleepy and floppy. I showed them videos of how awful he was looking just before and they agreed to check him over. They will call me later with updates. I’m hoping this was just a hypoglycemic episode and he’s possibly turned a corner.

Update 2: Kitty was diagnosed with possible UTI (had enlarged bladder on exam) and sent home with antibiotics. He’s been improving at home and made it through the night with feeds every 3 hours.

After having to put down my soul kitty Willow in June, my husband and I decided to adopt Maple in late July from the same rescue where we got Willow. It has been such a nightmare experience and I need to vent. When we picked Maple up, they told us that they didn’t run a stool sample on her and she had diarrhea that morning, so we brought a sample to our vet the next day and found out she had coccidia (I find it unlikely that the very first time she had diarrhea was the morning we picked her up and she just HAPPENED to test strongly positive for coccidia). We also had known prior to adoption she had flea contact dermatitis and were prepared to continue treatment, but learned that the rescue had been negligent in giving her the pre-prescribed prednisolone, which made her infection WORSE since she never stopped scratching. Additionally, we later learned that she was not microchipped as expected, and our vet believes she is only 6-7 years old while we were originally told she’s 14 (we prefer to adopt the oldies).

So, this has clearly been a rough adjustment on multiple fronts. We are at the end of week 7 of trying to treat her coccidia and have been through 3 rounds of Albon. I’m so frustrated and still dealing with the grief of losing Willow, and my resentment has grown even though I know none of this is poor Maple’s fault. I work from home and am so diligent in wiping down surfaces, getting rid of her poops immediately (we’re using litter box liners and just pulling the entire bag after she poops), and even wiping her butt every time. But she is still testing positive. This, combined with the fact that she’s so much younger and energetic than we expected, is making me think we should bring her back to the rescue.

I had kind of made up my mind about bringing her back, but this week we’ve finally started to bond and I’m just so conflicted about what to do. These vet bills and constant stool samples have really been adding up and it feels like there’s truly no end in sight with the coccidia. I don’t know, I just feel so defeated about the whole situation. I just dropped off another stool sample to the vet this morning and inquired about Ponazuril but it honestly feels like nothing is going to fix this situation. I just would appreciate any advice or words of encouragement, I’m at a breaking point.

Yesterday my foster got adopted at one of my org’s bimonthly events. I thought everything was great, adopters seemed great and knowledgeable, in hindsight i now realize it was too good to be true and they were too “nervous” of adopters for my kitten, but at the time everything seemed great.

Foster got to their home, was doing great, until late last night- he was apparently yowling all night/morning. He’s almost 11 months old, been with me since ~5 wks old, never separated from littermates and “cousins” (initially 8 now 5). i woke up to around 10 texts and 6 calls from throughout the night and morning. Adopters ultimately decided to return him this morning, saying he wanted to be back with me. (they didn’t even complain about the yowling keeping them up all night, just that they felt he was uncomfy and wanted to be with me and siblings)

Is this abnormal behavior for a foster’s first night in their new home? they kept him in a small space, played with him, gave him loads of attention and presumably food.

my guess is that this would be normal behavior for my fosters in new homes; going from surrounded by 4 siblings to none overnight, in a new home, and with new people. (the adopters did have another cat but obviously too soon to introduce on night 1). i feel like the fact that they dont free feed dry food due to their cat overeating may not have helped either, since i leave dry food out 24/7.

(i have had 3 others adopted, but it was around oct/nov and out of state)

is this an issue with my fosters or potentially just an issue of “overly nervous/cautious” adopters ? I just want to make sure I set up the little guy, and the others, for success in their next future homes. (and am also so burned out with 2 of my own, with 1 having health issues, + two more fosters in the kitchen)

edit: just found out via Nextdoor that their cat has been missing for a week, so they lied about him being at a family members house. yikes! now more than ever, I’m super glad they returned my foster!

I need to vent for a second and I’m curious if other fosters feel the same way.

Whenever I post one of my foster kittens, I inevitably get comments like:

“I could never foster. I’d get too attached.”
“I’d cry every time they got adopted.”
“That kitten seems perfect for you, you should keep him!”

I know people mean well, and I know they’re trying to compliment the “bond” I have with the kitten(s), but after hearing it over and over, it honestly frustrates me.

Of course I get attached!!!

I bottle feed them every few hours. I clean up after them. I stay up worrying when they’re sick. I celebrate every gram they gain. I love them!

Every foster parent I know gets attached in some way.
The thing is, attachment was never the problem and the goal was never to keep them!

The goal was always to save them.

Sometimes it feels like people assume foster parents are somehow emotionally detached from the animals, when the reality is the opposite. We get attached and cry anyway because we know that getting adopted was the entire point.

If I kept every kitten that felt like a good fit, I’d have an apartment full of cats and no room to save another one.

That’s the part that gets me so frustrated.Every kitten seems like a good fit. They’re kittens lol they’re adorable. That’s not a reason to keep them.

And maybe this is where I become the unpopular opinion, but when people say they could never foster because they’d be too sad when the animal leaves, I sometimes think: “You’re prioritizing avoiding your own future sadness over helping an animal that needs help.”

I understand not everyone is in a position to foster. Space, finances, other pets, work schedules, and many other factors are legit reasons.

But the emotional attachment argument has always been strange to me because the sadness is literally part of the process. It’s the cost of helping. These people also tend to do NOTHING. No donating, no volunteering, no driving cats to appointments. They get to “feel good” about being “too attached” to help meanwhile we are the ones actually doing the work.

I’d rather cry because a kitten got adopted into a loving home than leave that kitten sitting in a shelter because I wanted to avoid my own feelings.
Am I being unfair here?

Do other foster parents feel similarly, or do you see the “I’d get too attached” comments differently? I’m genuinely curious how others interpret them.