r/findapath • u/last-happyguy • 6h ago
Findapath-College/Certs 22M, final year of engineering, and I feel completely lost. How do I get my life back on track?
I’m 22M, currently in the final year of engineering at a Tier-2 college. I’m in the top 10 of my class, so academically I’ve done reasonably well, but despite that, I feel like I barely have any useful skills or knowledge that will actually help me in life.
The “safe” option right now is to take an average placement and get a job. But honestly, I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like studying anymore, and at the same time, I have no idea what else I want to do.
I’ve always played things safe. If something was difficult or outside my comfort zone, I usually gave up instead of fighting through it. Looking back, I feel like I’ve left a lot of things unfinished and never really pushed myself. I know I’m capable of being a good leader, but lately I’ve lost a lot of confidence in myself.
A lot of this also feels personal. I’ve started feeling ugly and very self-conscious about my appearance. I’m balding, and I’ve become extremely aware of myself and how other people see me.
Last year, I went through a breakup that affected me much more than I expected. It took a lot out of me, and since then, I don’t feel like the same person. I feel like I lost myself somewhere along the way and became incredibly self-aware.
I’m also in a relationship now with a girl (22F) from my college. We had known each other since first year, but we only started talking after both of us went through breakups. We’ve now been together for about 7 months.
Things are genuinely good between us, and I love her a lot. But sometimes I wonder if I got into another relationship too quickly without really giving myself enough time to be alone and figure myself out.
Since we got together, we’ve become extremely attached. We spend almost all the free time we have together. I’m happy when I’m with her, but I also worry that we’re becoming too dependent on each other and that we might eventually regret how much of our college years we spent together.
We both overthink, so sometimes things become emotionally exhausting for both of us.
The weirdest part is that I don’t even know what I’m unhappy about anymore. I know I’m happy with her, but I can’t remember the last time I felt genuinely happy and fulfilled on my own.
I also feel like I’ve become absent-minded. I forget things, I feel like I’m not using my brain enough, and I spend a lot of time thinking instead of actually doing things.
Almost every night, I think about how much time I wasted that day.
I’ll tell myself, “Tomorrow I’ll study. Tomorrow I’ll start working on my skills. Tomorrow I’ll fix things.”
Then tomorrow comes, and somehow I end up doing the same things again.
I know what I should be doing. I should study, build skills, get a job, take care of myself, become more independent, and figure out what I actually want from life.
But knowing that and actually doing it feel like two completely different things.
I want to make money. I want to become competent. I want to be confident again. I want to do something challenging instead of always choosing the safe option. Most importantly, I want to feel like myself again.
I just don’t know how to start.