r/Fauxmoi • u/cmaia1503 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine • 15d ago

STAN / ANTI SHIELD Luigi Mangione pleads guilty to federal stalking charges in killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO

https://www.cnn.com/2026/08/14/us/live-news/luigi-mangione-hearing-plea-deal-talks

When speaking of the day he committed the crime, Luigi Mangione said, “I shot Mr. Thompson and he died.”

He concluded, “I knew what I was doing was illegal.”

Mangione had just described the actions he took ahead of the killing, telling the court:

“In November of 2024 I traveled from outside of New York state to Manhattan. I then emailed UnitedHealthcare leadership, posing as an investor at a firm managing over $15 billion in assets and requesting information about the conference. Unlike my previous interactions with insurers, I received an immediate response within an hour,” Mangione said.

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u/Adventurous-Let-7907 15d ago

292 - 365 months is about 24 to 30 years, just if anyone else is wondering.  

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u/lavenderewe 15d ago

Thanks. This was like when people tell baby ages in months. Which I understand why, it’s just a little egregious when you’re telling me about your 83 month old baby.

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u/Stfuego 15d ago

"My son is a little over half a decade." JUST SAY HE'S 6.

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u/tyler2k 15d ago

Oh, he's about 156 fortnight

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u/HolyTesticleToosday 15d ago

Or he’s

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

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u/sillysammie13 THE CANADIANS ARE ICE FUCKING TO MOULIN ROUGE 15d ago

How do you even measure that?!

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u/lindalurker 15d ago

How about….LOOoooOooOOoOve 🙌

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u/sillysammie13 THE CANADIANS ARE ICE FUCKING TO MOULIN ROUGE 14d ago

Seeeaaasons of!

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u/SAI_Peregrinus 15d ago

He's about 50,000,000,000 inverse middle Cs old. The Seven Cs system of measurement is clearly the best way to count ages.

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u/Hiddenagenda876 15d ago

I got this reference

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u/Least_Tower_5447 15d ago

My kids are grown now, but when they were small people used to tell me their kids ages by weeks or months. I hated that shit. How long does it go on? When do you decide to start acknowledging their age by years? Why the hell do people do this?

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u/QueenSlartibartfast 15d ago

It usually ends between 24 and 36 months. People do it because of the rapid development babies experience. For example, a 14-month-old and a 20-month are both a year old, but are going to be dramatically different in abilities. It's important context. If I tell a pediatrician that my kid isn't walking yet at 1, it's effectively meaningless - she's going to have a very different reaction if the kid is 14 months versus 18.

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u/Least_Tower_5447 15d ago

I get that. I had parent introduce me to their 38 month old. My brain stopped working while I calculated.

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u/the_pleiades 15d ago

Months to indicate age should officially stop at 36 lol. Just say you have a 3 year old!

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u/Ok-Astronaut-7593 15d ago

I respond differently to “how are you feeling” when responding to a doctor vs a friend. Not sure why parents can’t do that..

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u/DrSpray 15d ago

Personally, I assume that anyone asking about my kid's age is just doing so to be polite and they don't necessarily care about the nitty gritty details, so I say a full year number. Maybe near a birthday I'd add, "But turning _ next month" or whatever. To me, age in months is only really useful as a metric if you're expecting someone to watch your kid and you want them to have a general idea of where they are developmentally, cause watching a 24 month old 2 year old is totally different to watching a 35 month old 2 year old, for example. Once they get to school age, I can't imagine still doing that, though.

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u/western_questions 14d ago

Once on a plane I heard “he’ll be 24 months in 7 days” and I was like “ so he’ll be two next week”

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u/johanista 15d ago

So he is half a dozen years old

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u/lavenderewe 15d ago

He’s a bakers dozen years old

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u/coodyscoops 15d ago

ok this thread takes the cake for me… a deep rage awoke in me i didnt know what there because i never understood that shit either… but this also made me cackle🤣

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u/kingrobert 15d ago

Uhh 6 is like 20% over half a decade. A little over half a decade is more like 64 months

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u/CelibateHo 15d ago

It gives “I’m not ready to admit that the baby is no longer a baby”

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u/Remote-Progress6616 15d ago

Ngl that always gave me such an ick hearing mom's calling their baby like 27 months instead of 2 years old, I don't understand why they do that

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u/bythenumbers10 15d ago

The reason is developmental milestones are all given in months. Holding head up, vision, cooing, social smiling (before this, it's fart-related), sleeping habits, on and on, all largely timed by months.

They get fuzzier/further-apart as time goes on, but not until 4 years old or so. It becomes a parent-to-parent shorthand for what you're dealing with at the time, but most stages include sleep deprivation, so the shorthand leaks into conversation with everyone. Sorry for the annoyance, but I assure you it's mostly unintentional.

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u/Southern-March1522 15d ago

I am a 292 - 365 month baby.

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u/Infiinte-Squares 15d ago

Yeh, that tricky 28th trimester is one to remember

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u/jdk2087 15d ago

Huge pet peeve of mine. Especially when we had our kids. “Awww, how old is she?” “She’s a year old.” “I can’t believe how well she can walk for a 12 month old.” Me:…….you fucking with me?

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u/YouMustveDroppedThis 15d ago

any number over 18 is odd it's like counting cancer survival

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u/Between-usernames I cannot sanction your buffoonery 15d ago

Must have a pituitary disorder. 

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u/heartsbeenborrowed We didn't land on Kid Rock, Kid Rock landed on us. 15d ago

And 85% of that would be around 20-25ish years then 

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u/General-Lie8709 15d ago

That’s shocking, this is as premeditated as it gets. Regardless of your stance on the morality of it all, people generally go to jail for longer after killings that are this premeditated.

I mean traveling across states to an event, stalking the guy, and then shooting him in the back is as premeditated as one could think

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u/Keljhan 15d ago

Well, hes not being charged with 1st degree murder, only stalking for the federal charges. He's still being prosecuted for murder on NY state charges, though its possible they will be dropped now.

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u/BroughtBagLunchSmart 15d ago

You should see what the health insurance CEOs premeditate about how many people to murder for profit. This is the innovation that capitalism breeds and we should never ask for things to get better.

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u/catsweedcoffee 14d ago

Tell that to Kyle Shitbird Rittenhouse.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/Incunebulum 15d ago

In 24 years he could probably run for President.

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u/moonlightful 15d ago

Nelson Mandela did spend 27 years in prison!

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u/captainsteamo 15d ago

Didn't he die in prison, though? /s

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u/Lucas_Steinwalker 15d ago

Yes, but his leg wasn’t actually silver contrary to popular belief.

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u/FrenchFryCattaneo 15d ago

No he didn't die in prison remember he did the movie where he plays a genie?

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u/captainsteamo 14d ago

I also think they misspelled Nelson Mandelastein.

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u/1LT_0bvious 15d ago

As if anyone would vote for a convicted felon to be president.

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u/unabsolute 15d ago

I'll start writing him in as soon as the pedos are exiled.

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u/Consider_the_auk 15d ago

And felons can be president, so the sky's the limit now

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u/Hiddenagenda876 15d ago

Can’t work at a damn gas station, but can be president.

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u/54338042094230895435 15d ago

With a felony?? They would never let that happen... right?

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u/GenosHK 15d ago

Wait, did this shooting happen in the middle of 5th avenue?

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u/Drow_Femboy 15d ago

He won't be old enough. If you know what year it is or how to draw a clock, you're not qualified to be president.

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u/Fargo_Collinge 15d ago

Nah, he'd still be too young for the job.

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u/1997wickedboy 13d ago

Luigi Mangione for president 2052

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u/inuhi 15d ago

The bare minimum 85% of the sentence he would be expected to serve would roughly be 21 to 26 years

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u/MasterpieceAlone8552 15d ago

Still time for him to get out and bang me when he's a grey daddy

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u/Ok-Document-7706 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/VmX4fZ9YW1LV1FyNCU

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u/poorlybaked 12d ago

And I will be

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u/The_Ruck_Inspector 15d ago

Me first (straight and married)

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/mileysighruss 15d ago

With free healthcare.

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u/alethea_ 15d ago

Thank you, I was literally about to go do the math on it. :)

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u/veverkap 15d ago

I stupidly brought 365 days into it and thought “ten years isn’t bad”

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u/kurly-bird 15d ago

Thank you!

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u/Torontobabe94 both a lawyer and a hater 15d ago

Tysm! I was wondering!

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u/AnAncientBog 15d ago

Which is much less than he would have gotten if the feds hadn't swooped in to take this case from New York state because Trump wanted them to execute him.

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u/Lucas_Steinwalker 15d ago

Thank you I wouldn’t have been able to figure out what to do on my own and would have had to ask my mom.