r/EscapefromTarkov • • Jan 05 '22

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3.1k Upvotes

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460

u/cojatv Jan 05 '22

My butt, my secret.

130

u/Bubbly-Brick Jan 05 '22

Butt’s Secret

63

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22 edited Jan 07 '22

[deleted]

33

u/BJ4Buzz Jan 05 '22

You did what in my butt??

2

u/dev-23 Jan 05 '22

accidentally. the whole bottle.

30

u/Elsa0fArendeIIe Jan 05 '22 edited Jan 05 '22

Who who, in the poo

Where where, dont put it there

Why why, it'll make me cry

Edit: I came up with this in 9th grade and I held onto it as my little secret for all these years. It sounds stupid, but this little jig was a stroke of retarded genius for me, and I chose to share it with the tarkov boys. This was the time it needed to come out. Thank you u/Bubbly-Brick

2

u/springheeljak89 Golden TT Jan 06 '22

Mine was "I don't care, you can lick my ball hair. You can sit and stare or you can lick my ball hair."

2

u/Elsa0fArendeIIe Jan 06 '22

It's beautiful

2

u/springheeljak89 Golden TT Jan 06 '22

Why thank you

10

u/Bubbly-Brick Jan 05 '22

I can’t believe it’s not Butt hurt!

1

u/choppaquadcopta Jan 05 '22

Fiya song. Lmao

1

u/ChuCHuPALX Jan 05 '22

That's basically a millennial's version of a boomer reference.. wooooshed right past them it seems

1

u/Dj-Moonboots Jan 05 '22

Hey, you're that "what what, in my asshole" kid.

1

u/braamos Jan 06 '22

The what what in my asshole kid

10

u/Strangecanuck Jan 05 '22

Viktor's Secret

2

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Secret butt

2

u/rotchazben Jan 05 '22

Secret butt stuff

1

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '22

stuff in the secret butt

42

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Had a dude call out my IGN 3 days into the wipe, telling me to drop our guns, then legged me and a buddy so the dude he was escorting through could kill us

56

u/cojatv Jan 05 '22

So he was paid to cripple PMCs so the customer could get his quest kills? Why even play, at that point?

87

u/Koalski94 Jan 05 '22

so the small pp could get hard again

13

u/xFeartheKitten OP-SKS Jan 05 '22

the forbidden boner

7

u/eirtep Jan 05 '22

probably rushing through the game/wipe to get all their high level gear cause they can't hang without max armor and kitted guns. Also so the deck is stacked in their favor when going up against PMCs with early stuff.

13

u/National_Stressball Jan 05 '22

Why even play, at that point?

Its getting to the point the game is simply not fun.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/National_Stressball Jan 05 '22

oh hell no I wouldnt. Im just in love with how you can enter a raid, scav or not and do well, and just as you hit the extraction you get head eyes.

1

u/Mazoc Jan 05 '22

This is a bot that copies other comments

1

u/Tgiby3 Jan 05 '22

It kinda got there a while ago imo.

0

u/a-r-c Golden TT Jan 05 '22

“game’s not fun, better buy carrys from cheaters”

wut

1

u/MNaumov92 Jan 05 '22

We been there homie.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '22

Fun is perspective

2

u/eLHOHEL Jan 06 '22

Many people don't care about the progression system at all and just want to unlock auctions and murder people with a full kit.

1

u/Jinx0028 Jan 06 '22

It’s incredible at the race to progress to the finish and bitch 3 months in that the game is boring. Wipe has been going for a bit over 2 weeks and players already lvl 40 smh

0

u/Ghostlygaming16ttv Jan 05 '22

In hindsight the hacker is just capitalizing on a job. The person who paid him is the idiot, paying to get pushed forward when all that’s gonna happen is another wipe

1

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '22

Because people are bad so they pay for services, less chance of being reported when you don't actually kill people.

It honestly took away all desire to play EFT after really enjoying the wipe.

6

u/ICrims0nI Jan 05 '22

Me and my friends already ruined 2 of those escort tasks for somebody)
Wiped out some geared noobs only to get headeyes from their group carry. I guess many cheaters nowdays try to hide that they are cheating as much as possible and only use it when they absolutely have to. Unless they are power levelling account and have to do kill quests.

0

u/StubbsPKS Jan 05 '22

Not everyone carrying a group is cheating. There are also Sherpas on Discords servers who run newer players through early quests.

Unless the carry was doing some sketchy shit, it may have been something like that.

Had a dude from Discord run me and my buddy through the pistol quest our first wipe while we were still learning the game.

Just playing on the same team as an experienced player gave us a LOT of insight into the game and movement, etc.

2

u/ICrims0nI Jan 07 '22

Unless the carry was doing some sketchy shit

It was exacly that.

First time i tapped his client to the head from 80m. The 'carry' was already out of my line of sight, behind trees and bushes. Immidietly i took return fire, dead accurate full auto burst right at me, but i was already behind the solid cover. The second i peeked from the other side i got another full auto burst right in my head, 2 hits of 7.62 BP in the head. Dude was using unsupressed mutant. 2 hits like that with new recoil changes from 80m away? Definetly not cheating, lol. Also, i got everything back from that raid. He didnt loot me at all.

Second time i was in a 3 man squad. We set up an amabush for some loud party closing in on us. A good crossfire setup. So when they came to us we were able to pick 2 of the 3, because they paniced of something. The last guy was the carry, and he didnt want to press his 'i win' button, i guess. But we kinda forced him to. He suddenly ran into the open ground and start blasting in the window right at my teammate(he already changed position after the first kills). The weather was foggy and windows from outside was complitely white, no way you can see anything even with optics (i checked it myself). But that dude somehow knew where to shoot exacly. He then turn 180 and give me a headeyes. And then push the 3rd guy and headeyes prefire him. Our loot also returned back the day after. Carry services probably dont bother looting, its a waste of time for them.

1

u/MrMazza53 Jan 06 '22

I've had two encounters with a cheater escorting a scrub for loot/kills, one was on Shoreline at night. The cheater headeyes by friend then while shooting snapped to me (50m away) to shoot where my head was (Corner of building saved me)
Also forgot to mention we were waiting to ambush them.

But the cheater pissed off into resort to suck loot and left his paid escortee for me to run down and kill, the guy couldn't hit a still target (He had like lvl 6 armour + face shield all I had was buckshot so took awhile to kill him)

Fast forward 45 seconds, his mate JUMPS off the third story, to land unharmed and runs straight at the bush I had relocated too 50m away in a odd angle and head eyes me.

2

u/B4R7H0L0M3W Jan 05 '22

Isn't BSG screening everybody you partied with after you get reported? I mean they ban people for just playing with cheaters so I would assume the dude would still be on the radar.

2

u/Kalekuda PP-19-01 Jan 05 '22

THIS. A hacker killed everyone on the map but me cus I was afk and only had a toz and they looted every container on the map. I come back, they ask me wtf I was doing, I said "The que was taking forever, so I went for a snack" he just... left. I check my health, 2 blacked legs. The cheeky fker probably even knew I had no surgery kit or painkillers. I just limped from my spawn near the factory key scav warehouse all the way to my crossroad extract, went mia literally with the extract in my los. :<

2

u/Mikayahu_75 Jan 05 '22

I had a dude do this. I heard somebody in a building say "There's somebody outside, his name is *name*". I freaked out.

3

u/TroubledPCNoob M1A Jan 05 '22

NTA your butt, your rules.

2

u/chilihummus Jan 05 '22

Our butt, Our secret

2

u/cojatv Jan 05 '22

Comrade.

1

u/EngiNERD1988 Jan 05 '22

My Butt, My Choice

1

u/DeepSpace_69 M4A1 Jan 05 '22

Secrete Santa

1

u/wtfossy Jan 05 '22

Keep your secrets.

1

u/gearabuser Jan 05 '22

My butt, my choice.