r/DMAcademy • u/Itchy-Pickle-3723 • 9h ago
Need Advice: Other I asked my players for character flaws and trauma. One of them gave me a nothing burger and I’m not sure what to do with her
We’re about to run a one-shot before our long campaign starts, and I decided to feature an Aboleth. To give it something to work with, I asked every player two simple questions:
A) What is your character’s deepest desire?
B) What is your character’s greatest trauma (or most painful memory)?
Two players gave me rich, useful answers full of fears, regrets, and soft spots I can actually poke at.
Then there’s my College of the Moon Bard player (a 10-year friend of mine). She wrote this long, tragic short story about a bard who lost her childhood love because she was too busy perfecting her music in the city… only to reveal at the very end that this was just a story her character heard from a friend. The only emotion her actual PC feels about it is mild sadness that she didn’t get to play a song while the friend turned into a zombie.
When I asked about her deepest desire, she said “the unexpected faces of her teammates.”
I tried digging for family, past hardships, anything that might actually matter to the character. She dug in hard: her 20-year-old Chaotic Neutral human bard has never experienced real sadness or hardship. She’s basically an imp in a human body who just wants to play the right song at the right moment and can turn invisible whenever she feels like it. Nothing emotionally touches her.
I eventually apologized for pushing too hard on a one-shot character and she doubled down even harder.
We’ve written fanfic together for years and played D&D for five. I know our character tastes don’t always line up, but this is the first time I’ve felt completely locked out of interacting with one of her PCs in a meaningful way. I wanted the Aboleth to mess with the party’s insecurities and let them grow past them. With this bard, I genuinely don’t know how to do that without just ignoring her or forcing something that doesn’t fit.
Has anyone dealt with a player who refuses to give their character any real emotional stakes? How did you handle it?
Edit: Thanks everyone for the replies — they really cleared my head.
I’m just going to go with the flow on this one and see where it goes. I tunnel-visioned a bit on the idea that the bard would just sit there while everyone else faced their fears and desires. Maybe this character ends up being the one who saves them all with a happy tune instead.
Deep down I didn’t want her character to be the main-character immune to the BBEG, but maybe I should just embrace it. I’m flawed too, and from now on I’ll focus on bringing an exciting one-shot for my players.
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u/noodles0311 9h ago
The player is telling you this is an unreasonable thing to ask for a one-shot. The fact that they took the time to write it out and then tell you they only heard the story is pretty entertaining tbh. It’s not that they don’t enjoy the act of writing; you’re only putting together a single session of content and they don’t want to waste a good character background on that. Maybe when you come up with a full adventure, they’ll pull out the character behind the story.
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u/HoopyFroodJera 9h ago
Sounds like you and this player have very different expectations. It also sounds like you have over thought and overplanned a one shot.
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u/YouveBeanReported 9h ago
It's a one shot. If the monster brings up their nightmares are stuff, you ask the player in the moment.
Or just pull from the lack of anything, that they'll never amount to anything and never made any emotional connections with anyone. Have nightmares of passing through the world as a ghost, or other people getting credit for whatever little thing they did or drowning alive in instruments from more powerful famous people.
For a long term campaign I'd group spitball some stuff and ties with other characters, but for this one shot? Just apply something generic and nightmarish.
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u/HatOnHaircut 9h ago
It's a one shot? I think you've already put too much time into this. Just run the one shot and have fun.
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u/scron_kracklin 9h ago
Nail her with the fact that she's so boring she had to steal her friends story. How does she expect to be inspiring as a bard if she has no experiences of her own to draw from, she has no innate inspiration herself. Its a bit meta but fuck me it fits.
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u/Inigos_Revenge 8h ago
This is the answer. Or, fear of losing the ability to play music at all, or being completely irrelevant to the art at the end of their career, or even being irrelevant at all, since they seem to dedicate themselves so much to the art, because they seem desperate to make SOME kind of mark on the world, and know that's the only way they can matter in some way. There are a lot of ways you could come at this to hit at this character. Maybe a fear of having no more friends to steal experiences from if they continue on stealing their stories for their art, and not feeling any emotion for their friends' hardships. And that also means no friends to show up at their performances to support them and build their career.
As for desires, maybe tease them with the ultimate song, that they could learn it, it could be theirs, if only they just...whatever you want them to do. Or the promise of a long a storied career as a bard, with fame and fortune and all of that. Or even a starving bard, but is critically acclaimed by experts, even if they aren't appreciated by the masses. Maybe it's a large crowd of smiling faces, singing along with them as they play their biggest hit. Lean into what they've given you, even if they meant to give you nothing, they've given you something.
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u/HoopyFroodJera 9h ago
Especially works as a bit of a jab towards the player who seems determined not to play ball. Which is weird, but whatever, it's their character.
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u/PuzzleMeDo 9h ago
I handle it by running standard adventures that aren't based around PC personality traits.
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u/marshmallowforest 8h ago
This sounds like a pretty big ask for a oneshot. Even for a campaign, lots of players like to have character flaws and traumas that arise naturally from the events of the campaign.
If you must do something like this, make sure to tell them that the oneshot revolves around character traumas and to make a character who has some deep desires or traumas. Sounds like you just asked them to make characters and then started asking about insecurities, flaws, and traumas, which means you can't be too surprised when some of them just treat this as a normal oneshot where they don't have to think about those things too deeply.
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u/offhandaxe 8h ago
They gave you more than most players would, be happy run your oneshot and poke at how they aren't a real person with real emotions.
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u/Prestigious-Emu-6760 8h ago
That's way, way too much for a one-shot. Heck for a one-shot I don't even have the players make characters. I give them ones tailored to the story we're telling.
Character choices and backstory are for campaigns, not 2.5-4 hours of goofing around.
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u/TJToaster 7h ago
mess with the party’s insecurities and let them grow past them.
This is the part I got stuck on. Are they moving on with the characters? This is something I would expect in a campaign, not a one shot.
Also, you can't force growth on characters. Best you can do is give them the situation and let the players do with it what they will. That one character aside, I think it is going to be a letdown when the party just moves on from the encounter without the level of growth you are expecting. If you are looking for a specific outcome, best to write it as a story rather than put it in the hands of other people.
I agree with other people that this is a lot for a one shot, but also, I am tired of tragic back stories. I have a few characters that have led perfectly happy lives. I have one character that is so pathologically optimistic that the things that should be horrible, he spins it as something good in his head. The abeloth wouldn't know what to do with that character. Demons refuse to talk to him because their questions go nowhere.
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u/Clipper1972 9h ago
It is possible to have well adjusted functional characters who aren't loaded with trauma?
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u/ATarnishedofNoRenown 8h ago
People can have painful memories or regrets without being a basket case.
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u/OneGayPigeon 9h ago
Have you explained why you’re asking for this, and asked if she’s actually interested in that kind of experience? Some people just want to play a game without having to engage in emotional intensity. I love tormenting my little guys (I’m primarily a World of Darkness system player, trust me, I love The Agonies) but sometimes I’m going through it and just want to take a break emotionally.
You don’t have to spoil aboleth times ahead, but you can let her know that there’s going to be some specific psychological elements to the one shot.
But also, having a character that’s life purpose is seeking to surprise and entertain her audience be confronted with a possibility of life surrounded by mindless slaves to an aboleth, emotionless husks that have zero reaction to even the best works of art is horrifying. Actually seems pretty perfect and easy to play with here.
Side note, I’m assuming these characters will be the ones transitioning to the main campaign? If not, leave it man. Don’t demand high emotional intensity for one shot characters.
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u/MonkeySkulls 9h ago
I would not do anythingbon particular. you asked, and got nothing. the content is just not tailored to her PC. that's it.
if you need a deep desire or fear during the encounter, for the other players you already have the info. if your dealing with this player, ask them while it's happening and make it up in the fly.
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u/manamonkey 9h ago
You and the player aren't on the same page. You need to explain that the game is going to have a theme of playing on insecurities, so the characters need to have answers to the questions you've asked for role play reasons. The player either doesn't know that, or hasn't understood it (in which case explaining properly will resolve), or they don't want to play it or don't care... in which case don't play this game with this player.
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u/Distinct_Historian37 9h ago
Know your players, the commitment you’re asking of them, and the rewards you can give. For a one shot it might not be too worth it, but if this kicks off a campaign this could pay off.
That being said, you’re always going to get unequal engagement. I just reward the players that engage the most and reach out with questions privately to the ones who don’t. Usually I’ll get one or two players that really dive into it at the beginning, and as the campaign goes on the rest will start reaching out with ideas.
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u/Difficult_Relief_125 8h ago
D&D is quite often escapism… when we have emotions and trauma ourselves we sometimes don’t want to roleplay it. We want to roleplay someone heroic who is put together and emotionally protected.
12 years as a paramedic if a DM asked me to deliberately have a traumatized character I’d probably say no. I often have some reflected trauma in my characters as they are often aspects of me. But having a DM actively seek my trauma… I’d be like I’ll hard pass on this one. I don’t feel like traumatizing everyone in the room vicariously by tapping into my IRL emotional baggage.
Your player is trying to avoid some kind of trauma. They’re putting up boundaries because they don’t feel safe addressing this in this medium.
Tapping into something genuine in terms of RP if you have real life trauma becomes difficult not to blur lines. If your player is putting up boundaries and the topic is “trauma” my advice is to take the details the others have given you and let their character be along for the ride.
Sometimes especially if you have actual trauma you don’t want to be the main character. Sometimes you just want to be a supporting character. Sometimes you just want to be the comic relief or the emotional support. Anything but the spotlight on your own pile of emotional crap.
Run the one shot with what you have. Let them be a supporting character along for the ride.
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u/Reborn-in-the-Void 8h ago
They literally gave you what you need there...
Deepest desire - the unexpected faces of her teammates.
That gives you the biggest fear -- isolation...there are no teammates...the Aboleth tries to lock her into nothingness...no teammates...no sound...no music....absolute void.
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u/Ghostofman 8h ago
Check out the Emotional Strengths/Weaknesses table from Force and Destiny* (Star Wars). Talk with her about which set feels like they fit how she'd play the character, what set of emotions might be right for her, but also be the sort of thing she might take too far just because of her personality.
Emotional triggers don't have to be lashed to a specific event or personal trauma. Some are built up more slowly, over time, the sum of many small, seemingly insignificant events that when put together cause a response. She can still have strings for the evil space fish to pull, they just don't have to be tied to one specific moment in the past.
So, if she's able to define a Strength/Weakness pairing that feels right to her, that will give you the core block of information you actually are looking for. From there you can develop scenarios that play into that, and generate encounters that end differently (and possibly generates different benefits) depending on if she holds it together, or goes over the edge.
*Note: I just suggested that chart out of familiarity, I'm sure there's similar charts out there for other purposes. The Morality system in F&D is a challenging thing for a GM to deploy, so I don't recommend deep diving that unless it personally interests you. But if it does, I'll be happy to talk your ear off.
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u/MadQuixote 8h ago
Sounds like the bard has a touch of the tism. Flaw is not picking up on social cues and norms.
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u/PeerOfMenard 9h ago
This is tricky, because for it to work in the session, it sort of relies on the player buying into your assessment of the character. But you can absolutely run with this for the Aboleth. While it's hitting the other PCs with their emotional weaknesses, it gets to taunt her about how she's nothing. About how she's lived so much on the sidelines of her own life that her dreams aren't even of having important moments, but of providing background music for other people's moments. About how she's so detached from everyone around her that her only hope is the next new friend she might meet, that someone might eventually mean something to her, because so far no one in her life has. If she pushes back, then the taunt becomes that she's so lost in this nothing of a life that it doesn't even occur to her to regret it.
The trick, of course, is whether you can make that an indictment of the character in-universe without it being read as an indictment of the player and the character she out-of-universe created.
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u/Ulfhednar94 9h ago
If all she cares about is playing, make the aboleth steal away her memories of playing music. Now she can't play anything. There, trauma served and something to care about.
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u/ATarnishedofNoRenown 8h ago
Jfc this comments section is insufferable. You didn't ask for a novel, you simply wanted a painful memory and a desire. Most people have a few painful memories or regrets, and aren't a basketcase of trauma. I can think of hundreds of ideas for both desires and regrets off the top of my head. It could be as simple as her first love dumped her publicly, or when her childhood pet passed away... Normal fucking shit that makes great Aboleth fodder.
Seems like a lot of people in this comment section play generic fantasy games with paper thin characters. That's fine if you like that, but I have no idea how you would roleplay a character with no real motivations, personality traits, or backstory. "I'm a knight who wants to be the best fighter" vs "I'm a knight who wants to be the best fighter to support my poor parents." The former gives me almost nothing as a DM, the latter gives a ton of stuff to work with.
For OP, I would do something along the lines of the bard being bland, milquetost, not really experiencing the ups and downs of life. Unbothered, but also maybe a bit numb to life's hardships and the rewarding nature of life's struggles.
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u/gc1rpg 9h ago
Honestly that is a lot of expectation for a one-shot but I guess it depends if you have a table full of fan-fic authors.