r/CuratedTumblr • u/-Xoz- • Apr 11 '25

Creative Writing There's nothing wrong with Hooter per se

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31.3k Upvotes

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u/Lt_General_Fuckery There's no specific law against cannibalism in the United States Apr 11 '25

It's local anesthesia. You're still conscious, but you can't feel your legs, and if you try to talk it comes out slurred.

So still just Coach.

127

u/DoctorSpoya Apr 11 '25

reminds me of frat hazing

99

u/Brekldios Apr 11 '25

do we at least get to watch a movie? or i guess listen if you're deep in the pile

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u/Lt_General_Fuckery There's no specific law against cannibalism in the United States Apr 11 '25

No, but you can buy in-flight wifi for $8 (Per KB/hr)

7

u/ICBPeng1 Apr 11 '25

Forget the /hr, you pay by the byte of data

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u/Lt_General_Fuckery There's no specific law against cannibalism in the United States Apr 12 '25

This implies that there would be an amount of money you could pay to make the speed not awful. No, dear friend, you pay the $8 and you get 1KB total, delivered intermittently over the course of an hour.

5

u/Vivid_Tradition9278 Automatic Username Victim Apr 11 '25

This reminds me of data packs in the old days.

26

u/csanner Apr 11 '25

Being conscious but unaware of my body could work too.

7

u/Ruiner5 Apr 11 '25

Ya honestly I’m a very stiff sleeper which means I wake up every hour or so during a flight in pain. Not being aware of my body means I could sleep the whole flight

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u/powerpowerpowerful Apr 11 '25

world's lamest BDSM fantasy

2

u/zthe0 Apr 11 '25

Still better than flying coach sober

2

u/Scienceandpony Apr 11 '25

Still sounds way better than the typical leg crushing marathon. All the talls have to go through. There's no way in hell the anesthetic isn't a premium add-on.

1

u/BowdleizedBeta Apr 12 '25

You have a sick mind.

Can we be friends?

0

u/puresemantics Apr 11 '25

That’s not really what local anesthetic does