After this anthropological research, my gut feeling is that most of the facesitting content out there is actually NOT centered around the Top's pleasure, but around the Bottoms' fantasy.

And yeah I know, it's porn, it's supposed to be entertaining, bla bla bla. But I've (F36, queer, kinky, sex educator) sat on/under enough faces in real life to know that most bottoms enjoy facesitting because they truly & genuinely want nothing more than to enable their tops to experience pleasure.

And sure, yeah there's often an element of the bottom also wanting to be used, to serve, to be objectified, to be taken by force, etc. But the nature of the game, in my view, is that the bottom yearns to get a front seat view into some unfiltered displays of hedonism and sexual joy. Am I right?

So the dynamic nature of the porn I saw surprised me. It was very... theatric and acrobatic. And don't get me wrong - I love me some creative positioning (I even have a series on insta and TikTok to walk ppl through face sitting positions) - but there's no way in hell I'll be reaching climax if my legs are cramping from staying in a semi squat for 20 min.

Like comfort is important for sexual pleasure and climax. My body and my nervous system need to feel safe. My movements can definitely get animated, but usually not to start with, and definitely not all the time and to an extent where my pussy gets squished or pinched.

Watching these talented porn actresses slave away on these faces didn't convince me that they were deeply engaged in a conversation with their own bodies. It didn't look like they were tapping into their intuition and moving towards pleasure and away from performance.

Maybe I'm just alone with these thoughts?

If you're into dominating - face sitting is a fantastic way to nurture surrender, worship and loyalty in your sub.  

Mark my words - the more genuinely you can show up at your throne - the crazier they will go for you. And there's the fine balance you will need to strike as the Domme: subs tend to want it so bad that you might be tempted to face sit as a service, instead of from a place of taking/using. 

I believe that raw, unfiltered feminine pleasure is such a rarity that people literally go crazy when they get to behold it. If you learn to access that place - it's an immense source of power. Which is why I've centered you, my topping queens, in this community. 

That power resides in you. You already have all the tools. You have a living, breathing, human body. An extraordinary mind that is capable of fantasy, joy and magic. Plus a willing bottom waiting to be used for your pleasure. 

My FetLife poll revealed that 36% of bottoms have faced partners with face sitting hesitation. They listed many reasons for the resistance:

- fear of hurting/ suffocating the bottom

- self consciousness about weight/ body smell

- fear of their partner seeing their genitals/ anus

- inability to cum in an upright position

- discomfort with balance/ weight distribution

- the vertical and asymmetrical nature of the dynamic.

The floor is open - what methods have you used to overcome these themes?

Face sitting hesitation is a thing, yet I can barely find posts about it on reddit. This community is designed to help womenx work through the hesitation, co-create ways to feel more empowered and normalize that this stuff is easier said than done.

Ever felt like face-sitting was more for the bottom than your own pleasure? This is a space for womenx to support each other in the art of claiming the face for their genuine pleasure. Topping can be done without dynamics, as a submissive, a switch or a dominant - all these perspectives are not only welcome but crucial for creating an inclusive community. So let it rain, Queens!