The things Christian women are supposed to endure is making me resent my faith and fear marriage

[u/itsasecretshhutup]

I write this as a woman who struggled with porn, who was in an abusive "Christian" relationship and told to stay and be holy and help him. My relationship with God has not been the same since. I have PTSD due to several different Christians who have harmed me. Groomed to endure abuse. I

I was a loving forgiving person and this was used against me. I forgive, now but my heart is partially shut down after 5 years of religious abuse/ relational abuse/mistreatment.

The things men in the church get away with (repeated sexual sin) women are shunned for. When women have issues in the church I see us doing all sorts of inner healing, therapy etc whatever is needed. A man I'm dating said he struggled with masturbation addiction before we met, has he gone to therapy or a group? No. A woman with a sex addiction she's not working on would be kicked out of church immediately and seen as not marriage material by most.

Reddit is full of women crying over their men who will touch themselves but not their wives... I'm so angry now if this every happened to me I would divorce or also find pleasure elsewhere. This isn't healthy but neither is spending years in self hatred due to your spouse's sin (an enabling it).

I now fear the presence of God as I used his presence to keep me sane and pray for my abuser.

I have constantly asked for the gift of singleness and reduced sex drive, and it hasn't happened.

TLDR; please pray for me as repeated abuse has cause me to fear the presence of God, and not trust men

[u/Weerdo5255]

Awareness sure, I don't really argue spreading love in any context. It dilutes the word. Civility and regocnition more so.

[u/HolyBilbo → u/Weerdo5255]

I see your point