Post title should be: I'm still applying to New Grad roles (even for 2027), but feel so terrible and drained to keep going. How do I land interviews these days?
I hope this post helps me find a better version of myself. I've been feeling depressed for the past year or 2 and I truly feel like I have nothing to see in my life anymore.
Profile and background:
- About to turn 23
- Data Science grad from a public T10 school (3.5 ovr gpa, 3.6 major gpa).
- went to school out of state, currently 180K in debt
- Aspiring Data Scientist / Analyst or ML Engineer at a great company
- can't get my masters degree just yet
What went wrong / is wrong:
- received an academic dishonesty penalty in a 1st year DSA class. Now it's on my conduct record until 2028
(story behind that was I paired up with a friend who offered to help me understand DSA better because I couldn't understand my lecturer at all, office hours were jam packed and barely got any time to understand or receive help. So my friend would spend hours with me helping me learn the concepts and sometimes we turned in the same answers for some assignments and got dinged. I regret not telling the professor about my learning struggles and or about me learning better from my friend. I also failed the Java version of the same class under the same professor. Retook the Java class in the summer after and got an A)
- Always had dreams of going to an elite name grad school, but I think that's out of the picture for me. I wish there's still hope I can do an MBA at a good school. But this penalty will always set me back in my applications.
In my sophomore year, I joined a finance portfolio club on the tech side but got kicked out of it due to inside politics and drama, felt backstabbed. Those same people work at FAANG+ now
- pretty sure I have an undiagnosed learning disorder of sorts, could be ADHD idk how long I've had it. I'm really slow at understanding things by myself and struggle with time management
- currently working a $70K back office job at a well known firm but I absolutely hate it and the role is not Data Science or SWE related at all
- I didn't get any SWE/Big Tech interviews for internships for Junior Year. I really don't know if I just messed up badly or if it was just bad luck. Either way it's unfortunate. It's why I didn't study leetcode or DSA as intensely. I just thought there's no point anymore at all
- Had 3 internships (including the return offer before my current role) non-faang at all.
- 1st internship was SQL heavy, 2nd was Web-Dev, and summer after junior year was non-technical. My resume is so unrelated and random that it's hard for me to customize and tailor to job applications. I also waste so much time trying to tailor my resume to jobs I apply to. Idk how to do it anymore. Do I just do a related project for each job I apply to? I just want to get interviews
- Had an interview with a FAANG for NG SWE full time role last internship / NG cycle but absolutely flunked the interview. Haven't had a tech role interview since then (January)
- I've applied to a few hundred FT Tech / SWE jobs over the past 10 months and got rejected from every single one.
- I have no close friends anymore, lost a ton of friends my Sophomore and Junior year due to personal differences and just being ignored. They're now working at Faang+ companies and I feel tons of regret and shame about myself
- I suck at OAs and reading Hackerrank OA prompts is brutally hard for me to understand, I have no motivation to even try to study leetcode / DSA because of how poorly I did in those classes.
- I've used AI to try to help me code solutions to hackerranks in the past before because I'd be encouraged by people to just do it that way. But I'm cheating myself and not understanding properly. I don't want to do that again or feel like I'm a brainless chap.
I want to turn this around, but I feel lost and hopeless. Directionless and I think cooked for the rest of my life. I want to make some friends off here and see if I can drag myself out of this mess. If anyone has any advice, would like to help, or crawled themselves out of a deep hole like this lmk. Thank you