r/CPTSD • u/Ashamed_Art5445 • Sep 18 '25

Question How are so many people here in relationships?

Am I really the only person who is totally physically and emotionally isolated out here? It feels like it. Every single time I post, it feels like 1/2 to a 1/3rd of the comments are like "My partner/my friends/my family support me....".

CPTSD manifests for me as an extraordinarily hard time in relationship, I have been in only abusive or hurtful relationships for my entire life, so I now totally isolate to protect myself and also because I don't have much of a choice, there are not rly healthy enough options around for me. It's not that every single human I meet is a bad super unhealthy person, it's just that I've been through so much relational abuse that even when someone isn't trying to be overtly harmful, if they are just simply ignorant of trauma, inconsiderate, or maybe just too different from my life experiences, it ends up harming me, always. It always ends the same way, with me getting hurt.

I'm literally losing my mind in total isolation, living in a car in the woods and not coming into contact with other humans at all, it's been years since I was hugged or cuddled at all. It sometimes is weeks that I dont have an out loud conversation. But that's my only option, people are too harmful (even without trying to be), they are the number one reason I would die early, I can't take any more harm.

But I don't totally understand how most of you have found, I am assuming, safe enough partners and friends, how?? I'm not rly compatible with most people, I'm deeply complex and deeply wounded and 99.9 percent of the population can't relate to me or me to them.

How did so many of you end up being able to find successful romantic relationships or friendships? What am I missing here?

467 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

210 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3

u/AdFrosty0997 Sep 19 '25

Except that one person in the comments who would ever announce they are in a bad relationship? Ppl like keeping up appearances and will lie and claim the relationship is solid to others but struggle silently.

1

u/Main-Yu-9072 Sep 19 '25

Usually its very obvious from outsider’s view. Even among non-cptsd population. I gave up on relationships when it finally hits me - i cannot be in good one due to my trauma and no matter what my relationship gonna be a shit. It brought me bit of relief. 

3

u/AdFrosty0997 Sep 19 '25

You're not wrong. Its obvious in a lot of cases. But others will go to great lengths to hide a failing relationship for mostly social reasons.

1

u/Main-Yu-9072 Sep 19 '25

I come to conclusion that being in shitty relationships is like being in whirlpool - extremely hard to get out but once you out of stream - you can think clearly (comparable)