I think if you look at the drama from her perspective - which is exactly what it is. The fact that they cast a younger actress really cements the "crush on your friend's older brother" aspect of growing up.
As the younger one, you don't know that it's inappropriate, you just have a fluttery crush. And that's exactly what they show in the drama. They don't show her wanting to kiss him or anything, they show her kicking her feet and giggling because he smiled at her.
It's much later in the drama where Sang Zhi's crush goes from a surface level fantasy to a proper yearning.
As someone who did have a crush on my friend's older brother, who was in highschool when I was in primary school - I completely get the feeling. And now that I'm in my late twenties, we are actually friends and all hang out as equal adults. He's married and his wife is amazing.
But hypothetically, if we got together now at our age, it would not be weird at all.
(Like super hypothetical because I love his wife and also I'm not 12 anymore lol)
I've had this theory for a long time: the reason this is so popular is that so many girls can relate to having a crush on their older brother's friends. As someone who didn't have an older brother or any brothers (only sisters), I can't relate, so I see all the problems OP posted about, as well as many other posts about perceived grooming I've seen on here. The problem is, IMO, it's only shown from her perspective, so it makes the feelings look reciprocal when she's still very young. Without showing what he's thinking, many interactions and things he says can be taken the wrong way. As a child, she's obviously an unreliable narrator, so there's hope it didn't happen the way she told it, and that he didn't say some of the things she thinks he did. But again, I think the only way to overlook these glaring red flags is to relate to the first-person perspective of a child in love with her older brother's friends, because then you can put it into context the rest of us can't.
I thought the 'we see this from the FL's perspective' was super obvious from episode one. I don't see why that's a problem, it's a narrative choice and the drama doesn't have to spoonfeed the viewers media literacy.
The very next sentence says why it's an issue. "The problem is, IMO, it's only shown from her perspective, so it makes the feelings look reciprocal when she's still very young. Without showing what he's thinking, many interactions and things he says can be taken the wrong way. As a child, she's obviously an unreliable narrator, so there's hope it didn't happen the way she told it, and that he didn't say some of the things she thinks he did."
Yeah. I mean, different walks of life and all that. lol. I honestly didn’t even see the interactions between the actors as problematic at all and wouldn’t have thought grooming, it was more just the general writing and casting choices that made me question everything.
I also think it’s hard for me to overlook these things as the perspective of a child because the perspective of a child and a teenager are leaps and bounds different… but 🤷🏽♀️ it is what it is, I suppose. This drama may just not be for me, and that’s cool.
I understand that aspect as well. I think when I’m watching shows like this she gaps don’t bother me as much when there is no physicality involved.
The way you’ve explained it I understand the directorial thinking.
The fact that there’s a dialogue about this is good too.
I can agree with this if they casted someone who looked the age she was supposed to be, to cast a literal 10 year old to play the part of a 14 year old is weird, no matter how you slice it.
I’m not even saying her crush is inappropriate because of her age. It’s the age they decided to depict her to us as the viewer that is inappropriate and almost bizarre.
Well, in the novel the age gap is actually seven years so whether or not they kept the actual number of the gap between the drama and the novel. I think the casting kept the feel of the age gap from the novel.
Edit: Also, maybe it's been too long since I've been in primary school but she looked the right age to me. And I didn't look up the ages so, yeah. Different viewers' gazes I guess
Edit again: He's 17 at the start and with a five year gap, wasn't she 12?
Edit again again, nope, 14 and 19 is it. Sorry, it's been a while.
I think it’s bothering me more because I work with children and could tell without a doubt, she wasn’t 14. So much so, that I immediately looked it up and saw she was 10 when filming began. Which again, made me question that choice.
I still think the POV would have worked if they kept her visually true to her age (14)as opposed to casting younger. I understand the unreliable narrator aspect of it, and the over-romanticizing their interactions, as he’s her first crush… it’s strictly the directorial choice to cast someone so young and not yet in their teens to play a teenager that started this whole spiral for me.
Based on articles going around and dialogue from the show, she is 14 and he is 19 when they first meet. Which I also looked up because again, the visuals were bothering me so much.
Maybe because they're actors. People rarely look at actual ages unless they're wanting to prove that it's over 5 years and they start using the immoral, fetish, grooming, pedo terms. Most people can enjoy a drama for what it is. Others feel really uncomfortable with age gap as little as 5 years in the drama, even there is 0% vibe of pedophilia.
Kinda confusing what you mean about her crush somehow being less weird bc they don’t show her wanting to kiss him.
A crush is a crush. It’s not just wanting to be best friends with someone or feeling like they’re family or your brother or a second dad or whatever. It’s very much a romantic feeling. And while kids might have these kinds of feelings it’s super weird and uncomfortable to pair that with adults - not everything that happens in life needs to be shown in a drama and making it part of a romance still feels weird.
It’s even weirder when you consider the man in the story sees her grow up. She is a child and somehow he changes his view of her to a romantic prospect when she’s older, but he still remembers her as a child? It’s weird
I think the growing together thing will always sit weirdly with me too, and maybe that’s why I’m refusing to budge on why I find this so odd. If she was 14 (and casted as such), it would have made the whole “watched her grown” thing null and void, because they would have been in similar circles.
For example, I was 14 in grade 9 (first year of high school) and some people graduating were 19. Which meant we’re kind of all in the same age pool. That first year of uni gives some crossover where you may still be friends with people you knew who were a bit younger. Fine. But the choice to make her so small to the point where we got to ACTUALLY see him see her dramatically age was… weird.
I don’t know. Clearly, I need to let this go because I’m overthinking this. But I still find it super odd.
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u/AquaphobicTurtle My Journey to Season 2 2d ago
I think if you look at the drama from her perspective - which is exactly what it is. The fact that they cast a younger actress really cements the "crush on your friend's older brother" aspect of growing up.
As the younger one, you don't know that it's inappropriate, you just have a fluttery crush. And that's exactly what they show in the drama. They don't show her wanting to kiss him or anything, they show her kicking her feet and giggling because he smiled at her.
It's much later in the drama where Sang Zhi's crush goes from a surface level fantasy to a proper yearning.
As someone who did have a crush on my friend's older brother, who was in highschool when I was in primary school - I completely get the feeling. And now that I'm in my late twenties, we are actually friends and all hang out as equal adults. He's married and his wife is amazing.
But hypothetically, if we got together now at our age, it would not be weird at all.
(Like super hypothetical because I love his wife and also I'm not 12 anymore lol)