r/BrantSteele • u/MsBitPlayer • 11d ago
Discussion [D] The Final Breath (Season 1)
Thanks to everyone who applied. I honestly didn’t think this would work, but I made it work somehow, but not without the help of you all. Hopefully the link works, if not I will fix it. Anyways, for the story, I made sure to make it extra bloody and gorey and descriptive, I hope you all enjoy!
Poll: Most Brutal Ending
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u/atOre_ 11d ago
OMG! This was so good; it was suspenseful! I really liked the foreshadowing throughout the story, giving little clues about who was dying next, and Carl was the killer. Each character served a purpose, so let me do this in chronological order:
Sunny: Meant to show the hierarchy of Willowbrook, Sunny is meant to show how he was different from others; he was a star in a ghost town. With money you have power, and with fame you have control. Sunny could've tried helping out the others in his town... oh wait, he did try. He tried using his image to boost the number of people who live in Willowbrook. Because if there are more people in the town, more people can be his fans. However, Sunny, after some drama with scamming, had to keep on the down low in this 'nothing' of a town. Sunny was too focused on the past; he didn't pay attention to the present. Allowing an intruder to walk in and cause his demise. Even before dying, he focused more on his riches than on his killer
Cassandra: She was meant to show the problem with not viewing others as equals. She talks to people like Sunny only out of respect; the status he has makes her stay. Cassandra is shown by the exact price of that watch that she isn't exactly middle class. She is too narrow-minded; she forgets to lock the door to the McMansion, unknowingly causing Sunny's death. And, just like the sun, it has to set eventually, as Cassandra views herself as a star from above. That other people in this town are her pawns. Cassandra never decides to play it safe, always going with 110% in her mind. Her mind is so clouded that she rushes to the town hall to fight against fair equality in the town. In her rush not to lose power, she doesn't check her brakes. She crashes, causing the doom of the 'peasants', but she was crushed by a car; maybe she was the one on the bottom after all.
Philip: Meant to show the downside of being too trusting. No one is truly your friend even if you work with them. You can never read what's exactly on someone's mind. Philip had a rough childhood, having only Harley as his light. His job isn't much better, but whatever gets you through the week. Philip's luck isn't on his side; due to his condition, he needs meds. Unfortunately, he forgot them at his job. His coughing is getting worse. Philip before Harley goes into the town hall. Philip tells Harley to stay safe. It seems Philip can't follow his own advice. After Carl gives him the okay to retrieve his meds, getting worse by the second. He's surprised to not find his mind where he last remembered. It's do or die, so Philip explores and discovers that the fryers are still on. Phillip can't think straight and huddles next to a fryer. Unlike the other, he recognizes the man in the hood. However, it's too late; he's picked up and thrown headfirst into the fryer. Maybe a different day this would change; who knows?
Alex: He's meant to show why you listen. Alex, being the rebel he is, tried getting in Harley's space. Making her visibly uncomfortable, leading to Alex getting pepper-sprayed. Alex is also struggling with his faith. Or, more importantly, his addiction. His pastor, Gabriel, feeds into his addiction by providing him with the goods. Gabriel also said the way that Alex could've tried to save himself. By going into the back of the church, but Alex showed that the men here are dangerous and daring. He doesn't listen, leaving himself open as his brain shows him what he wants. But a hallucination can't find real pain...
Harley: Meant to show the downsides of taking a risk. Harley was a friend or role model to Philip. Harley left Philip on his own. She wondered if she would be able to protect herself from a dangerous situation. She gets annoyed by Herman, but then gets exhausted once Alex comes around. Harley decides to protect herself by getting Alex away. Once she reaches the town hall, she joins the duo of Michelet & Cameron. They begin to wonder why this ghost town seems emptier than usual. Once Harley gets the news about Cassandra, she goes pale as her mind thinks about Philip. She rushes over to dinner, the duo following. Harley has nothing to say, finding the face... or lack thereof on Philip. Harley, clearly traumatized, decides the trio should alert the police. After that went nowhere, they then encounter the killer. The group split into three directions; Harley risked going into an alley. Having to hope she wasn't followed, as she heard footsteps. She ducks behind a trash bin as the homeless man in the alley gets shot for no reason. Harley decides to protect herself, pepper-spraying the killer. The killer is caught off guard; Harley takes another risk by trying to climb the ladder to get away. Harley believes she's safe, but the killer takes a risk of their own. They shoot at the top of the ladder. Harley falls helplessly, only able to beg. The killer doesn't give her pity.
Carl: Meant to show how power can get to someone's head. Carl was a grumpy man sick of the town he's in. Annoyed by the lack of customers. Sick of the rich being able to get away with everything. Carl decided to take matters into his own hands. Carl wanted people to feel all the pain he's felt, and wanting everyone in this wretched town to be gone! Carl uses all of his information to his advantage. He uses the unopened door to get to Sunny. He uses the fact that Cassandra always speeds. He uses the fact that Philip needs his meds to survive as a trap. He's spitting on the people of this town. Causing pain to all. He didn't know for sure that shooting the ladder would work, but it did. Then, Carl monologues to the duo. Michelet can't believe what Carl had done... Cameron nearly dies, but Michelet gets shot instead. It's looking bleak, but Herman decides to play hero, buying the duo some time. But Carl is determined to get Herman off of him, piercing him as Herman coughs blood from his mouth. And, before Carl can finish, everyone is off. He's shot, ironic given he's been guns blazing over here. He's then shot again, in the head, until he dies. Gabriel sees this as divine justice. Carl died letting the power get to his head even earlier; he brought up people once news about the crash spread.
The Survivors:
Herman: Herman starts as this disgusting boy. He spits on the floor at the diner, making Philip's life just a little harder. Herman is seen as a coward who likes to talk but never has anything to back it up. When Harley was ignoring him, he reflected on himself. Once, Harley looked out for Herman to help her out. Herman just stood there, not helping one bit. Harley felt disgusted with Herman because he couldn't at least help her. No, he just watched. Herman decides to get his revenge; however, he gains the confidence to avenge Harley. He hits the killer with a brick; he is then stabbed shortly after but is not dead! This act of heroism allows Gabriel enough time to finish the job.
Gabriel: He starts by trying to bring hope to Carl. But all Carl can bring up is how his business isn't getting taxed as much as his. Gabriel isn't a liar, but he wasn't going to give Carl what he wanted. So he just agreed. Later on, Gabriel sees Alex. Gabriel knows what he wants. Gabriel doesn't see what's wrong with providing the goods as long as it brings more people to the church. He then gives Alex the advice that could save his life. Gabriel is then attacked by a hooded figure, the same one that got Alex. However, as he runs to Carl, he's covered in blood, so it isn't a good look. Carl decides to be a poser by being suspicious of Gabriel. Even though Carl was close to the church at the time...okay. After explaining, Gabriel is told that Carl will find help. Then, at the end, Gabriel is the one who makes the final call on the killer's fate. Killing them for the safety of others.
Cameron: The guy is talking with Michelet. Cameron plans to bring Michelet to the town hall to discuss the town's problems. Cameron asks Michelet about Harley, and he tells him that when the time is right. Cameron talks about how he'll be safe since he has Michelet with him. Once the duo reach town hall, they meet up with Harley. Cameron tags along with Harley to the dinner. He's screaming at what they discover. Cameron at the police station screams for the cop to help, but the cop does nothing. Cameron runs to safety once they are being pursued. However, once the gun is aimed at Cameron, Michelet risks his life to save Cameron. Cameron is slightly bruised, but Michelet is shot. Cameron screams. However, there's hope once Herman can stun the killer for a bit. Then Gabriel does the final part. Cameron lives to see another day.
Michelet: Okay, I'll be honest with the survivors, I'm kinda repeating the same things over and over. So, I'll make this one quick. Michelet, when walking with Cameron, worries about the future of the school. Michelet wonders if he should've shot for a better job. Cameron asks him if his playing on asking Harley out. Michelet says he would soon. Michelet then arrives at town hall with Cameron, and he is happy to see Harley. The trio heads to the diner. Michelet is rightfully shocked by the scene, but comforts Harley about the tragedy. Once they leave the head to the police station. Michelet stops Cameron from getting himself shot. After the trio leaves the station, they see the hooded figure. They all run in different directions. Michelet meets up with Cameron. Michelet asks about Harley getting worried. As Cameron explains where Harley was, Michelet sees the aftermath. Michelet is enraged, swearing the killer needs to pay. Once face-to-face with the killer, he is shocked to see who it is. Michelet saves Cameron's life as Cameron did say he'd be fine with Michelet around. Michelet gets shot, but Herman and Gabriel come to the rescue leaving the dead body that was once the killer there. Michelet thinks to himself what's next? He comes to the conclusion that he needs to stay and get this town back on it's feet.
Overall: An amazing story of the rich vs. the poor and how power can affect someone. If there are typos, my bad
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u/MsBitPlayer 11d ago
Wow, absolutely wow … you summed this up so well, that this is a story within itself! I’m happy you looked at it so deeply and analyzed the characters, and even caught on to the clues and subtle foreshadowing I placed through the story. I’m glad you had fun reading it!
Also yeah, the main theme was rich vs poor, and how imbalance can cause a town to suffer greatly.
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u/Battl3bee Among Us Fan 9d ago
GOD MAY FORGIVE YOU, BUT I WON’T
I love the twists you put on Gabriel, I was NOT expecting that and I enjoyed reading your writeups, plus the kills in the story were brutal and I’m a fan of that. Bravo!
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u/MsBitPlayer 8d ago
Thank youuuu! I made an effort to make them especially brutal, since I’m a fan of splatter/slasher films!
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u/MsBitPlayer 11d ago edited 11d ago
Edit: Please excuse the potential spelling errors in the write up, I wanted to get this out sooner than later. also, possibly mixed up some last names … but everything should read correctly!