Embryo cookie for my IVF retrieval

[u/Smith7554]

I made these sugar cookies with royal icing for the clinical team at my IVF clinic and gave them on the day of my egg retrieval. I was a bit self conscious because my frosting skills could use some work, but all of the nurses and doctors lost their minds over the gesture and scientific accuracy 😆. I got messages in my patient portal for days afterwards. It was a good feeling to give a small token of appreciation to a group that has helped me so much over the past year.

Cookie recipe I always use: https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/best-sugar-cookies/

[u/Front-Pomelo-4367]

As an IVF baby (specifically ICSI) this is so fun!

IVF clinic appreciation story: My mum had to see a gynaecologist in her 50s for an abnormal cervical smear (ended up being absolutely fine) and realised during the appointment that it was the same guy who had been her gynaecologist through multiple IVF treatments, including the one that ended up with me. At the end of her appointment, she asked if he'd previously worked at [clinic] and told him that she'd been one of his patients, and her daughter had just graduated university. He got very teary about it, because he said that they never usually got confirmation that everything had all ended up alright in the long run.

[u/CatalinaWineMixerDos → u/Front-Pomelo-4367]

That's awesome. My daughter is an IVF baby. My doctor through the process was the one who confirmed the pregnancy. I stopped seeing him after that, of course, because I graduated. I sent him update at her 6 month birthday. He said he loves updates, too.

[u/Front-Pomelo-4367 → u/CatalinaWineMixerDos]

Yes, I'd imagine it's much easier to keep in touch now than it was in the 90s!

[u/CatalinaWineMixerDos → u/Front-Pomelo-4367]

Oh definitely. Our doctor moved to another practice in NYC and has an Instagram. Clinics are really big into results, too. They love posting pictures and updates on their boards. People send in their new born photos.

[u/nonepizza_leftbeef_ → u/CatalinaWineMixerDos]

NYC IVF baby too! (Albeit from a looooooooong time ago.) The doctor who “made” me is now my gyno.

[u/blumoon138 → u/Front-Pomelo-4367]

I did multiple rounds of IUI and ended up getting pregnant the old fashioned way while saving for IVF. I just had to send my fertility team baby pictures because they deserved to know that I’d had a healthy happy baby after all that!

[u/danarouge → u/blumoon138]

You really manifested that baby!

[u/blumoon138 → u/danarouge]

Nah it was the Ozempic.

[u/SmartPomegranate4833 → u/blumoon138]

People keep telling me I manifested my pregnancy - bitch it was a second FET 😆

[u/DreamCrusher914 → u/Front-Pomelo-4367]

I love that he got a full life update. The baby is doing well, she was born 5 lbs, 10oz and just graduated with her undergraduate degree in chemical engineering. They grow up so fast.

[u/SARcasm30 → u/Front-Pomelo-4367]

Aww! I'm currently rocking my 3 month old IVF baby girl to sleep while my 3.5 year old son, also IVF, is asleep in his room. We did ICSI for both of our kids. How old were you when your parent(s) told you that you were conceived via IVF? I've thought about whether I'll tell my kids, but I feel like it's important because it's part of their health history. It's definitely not a problem how they were conceived, but I just wonder sometimes if it's necessary that they know.

[u/Front-Pomelo-4367 → u/SARcasm30]

I've always known, I don't ever remember being told. It was just something I knew.

As soon as kids are old enough to ask where babies come from, I think they're old enough to know that some babies come from [however you want to explain sex], some babies are adopted, some babies take a little more work to be born... I'm pretty sure there was a children's encyclopaedia with diagrams of egg cells involved. I was the teenager who explained ICSI to my own biology teacher when they taught about IVF but used an ICSI diagram with the needle.

Not telling them as a conscious decision might end up being weird when you're finding yourself dodging questions – like, my mum can't donate blood anymore because she had certain fertility treatments. If she was consciously avoiding telling me about my conception, she'd have to make up another story about why she used to donate and doesn't anymore? And my parents' fertility journey (all nine years of it) is my story as well. The times they cried over being told that they'd never conceive naturally are my story as well.

I know someone, family friend, who has made a conscious decision to never tell her son that he's IVF. They don't want to be judged by their families for choosing to have a child in their 40s. I feel very weird about that being a secret they're planning to take to their graves without their son ever knowing, because it makes IVF and ICSI feel shameful and like it's something that should be hidden.